La Rue's Return or How's a Bayou?

By Edward Thorpe and Scott Cherney

Evil always returns...
and this time, it has a bad French accent!
The deliciously wicked criminal Jacques La Rue arrives in New Orleans to exact his vengeance on those who sent him to prison...especially frail Southern belle Polly Montclair, proprietress of the French Quarter bistro Chez What. Standing in his path are the courageous, yet dim U.S. Cavalry officer Lt. Alan Wexstad and the whacked out witch known as the Swamp Crone. LA RUE'S RETURN is a hilarious riff on the classic melodrama filled with outrageous characters, breakneck slapstick action and a swashbuckling sword fight in the swamp thrown in for good measure. The cast consists of 4 men, 3 women. Performance rights are available. Let the good times roll!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Dec 8, 2014
• ISBN: 9781312576421

Book preview

La Rue's Return or How's a Bayou?

LA RUE’S RETURN

Or

HOW’S A BAYOU?

A

Comic Melodrama

In

Two Acts

Written by

Edward Thorpe

&

Scott Cherney

Copyright 2004 by Edward Thorpe and Scott Cherney

All rights reserved

ISBN: 978-1-312-57642-1

Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that LA RUE’S RETURN is subject to royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, the British Commonwealth including Canada and all other countries of the Copyright Union.

All inquiries concerning performance rights for LA RUE’S RETURN may be directed to the  co-author as representative of both parties:

Scott Cherney

945 NE 73rd Avenue

Hillsboro, OR 97124

[e-mail]

LA RUE’S RETURN

Or

HOW’S A BAYOU?

By

Edward Thorpe and Scott Cherney

Time: 1875

Place: New Orleans’ French Quarter

ACT I

Scene One: CHEZ WHAT-Polly Montclair’s bistro in the French Quarter. Morning.

Scene Two:  The streets of the French Quarter that afternoon.

Scene Three: Lt. Wexstad’s hotel room that same afternoon.

Scene Four: A street in the French Quarter immediately following.

ACT II 

Scene One: CHEZ WHAT- the next day

Scene Two:The swamp-later that day.

Scene Three: CHEZ WHAT- immediately following.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

JACQUES LA RUE

A swarthy Louisiana French Creole. Tall and lean, he moves as a cat with the stealth of a serpent. His words beguiling, his manners smooth and evil, he waits to coil and strike at any opportune target. Speaks with a French accent.

POLLY MONTCLAIR

The daughter of Colonel Montclair and owner of the CHEZ WHAT, a bistro in the French Quarter of New Orleans. Originally, she was light, bright, and purely beautiful. Incidents of her recent past have caused her to appear sickly and drawn; a cloud of doom and despair her constant companion.

LIEUTENANT ALAN WEXSTAD

A young, barely commissioned officer in the United States Cavalry. Squeaky clean without and within, he dresses and acts as if constantly posing for a recruiting poster. His one fatal flaw, the world moves just a little faster than his two feet.

IKE

Faithful and loyal bartender at the CHEZ WHAT. Approaching middle age, he is large and open, oozing earthy charm. Straight forward and direct, he hides no emotion and holds back nothing. He loves, laughs, and cries with same gustatory pleasure.

MIMI

Alluring and naïve French chambermaid to Polly. She is petite and replete with sensual charms, attracting every male within twenty miles. These charms go almost completely unnoticed by her. Also speaks with a French accent.

SWAMP CRONE

The daft old sorceress, source of legend and lore for many years. Aged and dumpy, she moves with the subtlety of an earthquake. Her dress is made up of bits of bright, yet faded cloth, looking as though she ran head first into a flag factory and wore whatever stuck. Around her neck are beads, charms and bits of interesting junk. She jingles and jangles with every move, emphasizing her expressive gestures.

LAZLO

Dirty, disheveled and reeking of cheap liquor, his only question in life, Who’s buyin’? He was once a first class newspaperman, but took a promotion to common drunk.

LA RUE’S RETURN was first produced at the Palace Showboat Theater at Pollardville in Stockton, California in 1978, produced by Neil Pollard and under the direction of