Emotionally Driven: The Truth Behind the Black Male's Behavior

By Orlando E. Stevens Sr.

Emotionally Driven is a rare and in-depth look at the ways in which emotions are the driving force behind the inappropriate behaviors of Urban raised black males in America. This rarely discussed subject of emotionally driven behavior brings attention to how efforts to teach the black male population to physically survive the everyday dangers of living in an Urban American city, has backfired and created an extremely dangerous and violent race, community, gender and population. Plagued by gun violence, drugs, Struggling Public Education systems, property damage, lack of positive male role models, abandonment of fatherly obligations, divorce and lack of Community unity, Urban American cities throughout America are doomed to totally collapse if we don’t take the time to educate our young black boys on the importance of appropriately expressing their emotions. Men experience the exact same emotions as women, although the expression will be completely different.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Nov 20, 2015
• ISBN: 9781483440309

Book preview

EMOTIONALLY

DRIVEN

The Truth Behind the Black Male’s Behavior

ORLANDO E. STEVENS SR.

Copyright © 2015 Orlando E. Stevens Sr.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN: 978-1-4834-4031-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-4030-9 (e)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Lulu Publishing Services rev. date: 11/04/2015

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1: Urban America

•   The Place we call Home and the Crazy things we see

Reality Is… (Hidden Emotions)

Chapter 2: From Birth

•   It’s a rough road to make it to 18

Chapter 3: Who’s More Emotional?

•   The most challenging question ever asked

Chapter 4: Basic Experienced Emotions

•   The Emotions that we ALL experience

Reality Is… (What you Do is stronger than what you Say)

Chapter 5: Expression

•   One can express themselves in many different ways

Chapter 6: Women and Emotions

•   Women express themselves verbally because they were once little girls who verbally expressed themselves

Reality Is… (Never Fear the Tear, Crying is healthy)

Chapter 7: Men and Emotions

•   We experience the Emotion, But can’t appropriately Express the emotion

Chapter 8: Emotional Prejudice

•   It’s difficult to accept what you’ve been taught to avoid

Reality Is… (Love is a Need, not a Want)

Chapter 9: Comfortable Expression

•   Just because it’s comfortable, doesn’t mean that it’s always right

Chapter 10: Violence First Mentality

•   The average black man in Urban America has a violence first thought process

Chapter 11: Conflicting Emotions

•   Two or more emotions at the exact same time

Chapter 12: Property Damage

•   Black men control and patrol the black community

Chapter 13: Being Complete

•   Emotionally, Spiritually , Physically

Chapter 14: Why are Men so Emotional?

•   The Question that everyone wants to know

Final Thoughts…

INTRODUCTION

Born in the mid 70’s but raised in the 80’s, I’ve learned a lot about Dr. King’s dream and the ways in which he fought for the equal rights of blacks in America. I can recall seeing videos of black people being beaten and hosed by white Police Officers and attacked by police dogs, as they rallied and marched for equality. My friends and I would sit and talk about how we wouldn’t allow ourselves to be abused and disrespected by the Police or white people.

I remember asking, "Why didn’t Dr. King physically fight back?" The answer I got from my teacher was that Dr. King felt that fighting violence with violence would lead to nothing but more violence. My father on the other hand always told me, "If someone hits you, you better bust him upside his head with anything you get your hands on, and that’s what Dr. King should have done." My dad, like many other black parents in the Ghetto, parented his children with an eye for an eye way of dealing with conflict.

I think back on the many days I was bullied and chased home by a group of my school mates; simply because of the clothes I was wearing and the darker complexion of my skin. I can easily recall being followed home from school while being called names like Refugee, Ethiopian and Nappy Head ass Nigga. I also could remember my dad giving me a pocket knife to carry to school and telling me, Stab any muthafucker who fucks with you and I will deal with the Police afterwards. For a nine year old fourth grader to get the okay from his father to injure and possibly kill another kid was something that I could never seem to get out of my mind. Now as an adult, a father, football coach, role model, mentor and leader of my community, I sit back and wonder about the ways in which parents today educate their kids on how to deal with bullies, an intimidating person or a conflicting situation.

During the time I was growing up (80’s), kids could fight each other and be playing football in the streets an hour later. Some of the guys I fought against as a kid are now the fathers to some of my little league football players. In this new millennium, many parents are teaching their children to defend themselves by any means necessary and willing to standing side by side, throwing punches as they help their children fight their peers. The days of fist fighting and turning around to be friends are long gone. With that being understood, it’s extremely important that we educate our kids to utilize their ability to reason with others.

As a violence prevention educator who’s been looking for effective and realistic approaches to slowing down the violence in Urban American communities, I had to first take a look as to how my peers and I were raised to deal with conflict or an intimidating person. I had to understand the thought process of our parents as they raised us to attack violence with violence. Then I had to take a closer look at how we (The Following Generation) raised our children to deal with conflict of an intimidating person. Although I never raised my sons to attack violence with violence, many of my peers have, and continue to do so.

We often learn how to parent our children through the ways in which our parents raised us. So if you were raised to fight everyone who was intimidating or threatening to you, there is a great possibility that you will raise your children in the exact same manner. Unless you had a traumatic experience with the ways in which your parents raised you, you’re likely to use the exact same or similar method of rearing on your own children. We parent our children based upon our personal fears and what we think is best for them, although it’s the child who must live with the ramifications of our parenting style.

Through the information in this book, I want my readers to identify the obvious cause & effect behaviors of the black male population in America. I want my readers to understand that black men control the black community and that we have little to no control of our basic emotions. If we have total control of our community but little/no controls of our emotions, then what will the outcome look like?

I once engaged in a debate about community development in urban America with a group of white student who were in a Community Development Program. It was strange to me how they discussed everything about developing a successful community, except rehabilitating the psychological mindset of the males in that community. Like many people who are blind to the obvious, the focus of the discussion was surrounding women, children, property, safety and sustainable