The Dancing Fool and the Kumquat Queen

By Cindian Works

Like "Billy Elliot Meets Kungfu Panda!"

The legend of the Dancing Fool and the Kumquat Queen tells the myth of the Jade Dragon as never told before. It is a story of why the fools dance for the Dragons during the Lunar New Year, and how the legend came to be.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Sep 21, 2018
• ISBN: 9780359105991

Book preview

The Dancing Fool and the Kumquat Queen

THE DANCING FOOL AND THE KUMQUAT QUEEN

A New Novel from Cindian Works

Published by IVIMPOSTO

CINDIAN WORKS FIRST EDITION

This material is copyrighted, and protected under US, and International Copyright law.

(c) 2010 Ivimposto, All Rights Reserved

Other Published Works by

Cindian Works, and Ivimposto

THE LORD OF THE MILLET

One day, this story came to me and so I did the only natural thing a parent who likes to talk to a willing audience would do.  I told it to my son.

As a result, I was encouraged to pen it thanks primarily to he, without whose unwavering demands to complete the task, the myth would have been lost in the ether.

We have weaved the Lion and Dragon dances of the Lunar New Year celebrations with martial traditions.

I thank my many martial mentors and comrades and dedicate this story to them as well as to all the Dancing Fools who bring enjoyment to so many as they strive to save the kumquat beauties of the world.

Oh, and of course, my wife for supporting me through it all.

Pan-Yu

Pan-Yu lay in the shade of the Mountain of the White Cloud, on the shores of the Pearl River.  The people of Pan-Yu enjoyed a peaceful life.  They lived and worked in simple ways.  They plowed the fields, planted and harvested crops.  They fished the Pearl River and they tended to their herds.  They enjoyed life and the bounties of nature.

The town dwellers were artisans, writers, lawyers and merchants of notoriety in the region.  Pan-Yu boasted the most educated and physically healthy population in all of the Nanyue Kingdom.  Some said it was because of Pan-Yu’s wines, which were admittedly good.

Years ago, the great and omnipotent warlord Qin Shi Huangdi conquered Pan-Yu, without a fight.  The people of Pan-Yu were peaceful, and simply kowtowed to the new overlord.

They had a reason to be peaceful.

They had Kumquats and they had the Kumquat festival.

When Qin Shi Huangdi sent his emissary to gain the allegiance of Pan-Yu, the lords of the city invited him to a meal.  The emissary reported back to the warlord that …the people of Pan-Yu are peaceful. They have vowed allegiance to you, and they have Kumquats.  He then presented the warlord with a bowl of them, and jars of Kumquat preserves in a chest.

They are presents for you my lord, from the noble families of Pan-Yu.

No one knows what the great and powerful warlord Qin Shi Huangdi said in response.  Some say he actually cried, not from sadness, but from joy.  You see, he loved Kumquats.  The people of Pan-Yu enjoyed special attention from the warlord since then.  As long as they produced Kumquats, they would enjoy a peaceful life.

This peaceful life full of quiet and joy was only interrupted once a year with any sort of excitement.  At the time of the harvest moon the people of Pan-Yu showed some anxiety.  It was the culmination of the largest Kumquat harvest of the year and the event was called the Kumquat Festival.

The legends say that this festival commemorates the arrival of the Jade Dragon and his betrothal to the beauty of Pan-Yu.  So the story goes, long ago, before the coming of the warlord, a great Jade Dragon brought the first Kumquat to Pan-Yu.  The people had no idea what it was, or why such a great and powerful beast would bestow on them such a delicious gift.  The people in that time were much simpler and they did not understand that sometimes generosity could mask another more evil intent.  But they did understand the Kumquat.  In fact they loved the Kumquat.  They thanked the Jade Dragon profusely and promised to do anything he wanted.

However, the Jade Dragon asked for nothing in return.  Instead, he would come back every year to be certain the harvest was growing.  Then one year, when the harvest was the most bountiful it had ever been, he told the people of Pan-Yu.  Be ready my people.  For when I return, I will take a bride from you.  You will prepare your most beautiful woman.  I will take her to the mountain of the White Cloud, where she will reign by my side for a year.  Then I will eat her, and come back every year to take another.

But Jade Dragon… the people of Pan-Yu complained …this is not fair, what have we done to deserve this? they were confused.

You have eaten my Kumquats. The Jade Dragon replied.

As the legend states, the Jade Dragon came back, the people of Pan-Yu provided their most beautiful woman, she married the Jade Dragon, she ruled for a year and he ate her.  This repeated every year for many years.

Then one day, four warriors came to the town.  They heard of the Jade Dragon, the troubles he caused for the people of Pan-Yu and the ill that befell their most beautiful woman every year.  They were angry that people should be put through so many evils, and that a beautiful woman should be wasted in such a way.  But they also heard of the Kumquats of Pan-Yu. 

Each of the four was a formidable warrior, with a great understanding and appreciation for beauty and a significant craving for the little orange fruit.

The warriors presented themselves to the town mayor and the fiercest of them, Wang Farong, spoke.  His was the Way of Fire, and he was most brutal in his approach, most aggressive in his stance, and most demanding in his appeal.  I Wang Farong, will defend Pan-Yu from the Jade Dragon myself.  But I must first see the Beauty of Pan-Yu, so that I can be certain she is worthy of my skill.

No sooner had he spoken that the swarthy figure of Wu Tian stepped forward.  He was a sailor of the Pearl River and practiced a form of martial art he called the Way of Water.  I Wu Tian, will save the people of Pan-Yu from the Jade Dragon when my colleague fails.  For mine is a way that opposes the fire of the Jade Dragon.  But first, I agree with Wang Farong, we must see the Beauty of Pan-Yu so that we may judge her worthiness.  He said, knowing full well that Jade Dragon’s breathe fire, and so he could defeat the dragon since his was the way of water, and water puts out fire, usually.

But then, he was interrupted by another, the most graceful and best dressed of the four.  I Au Rong priest of Buddha differ with my friends, for they will surely fail.  The Jade Dragon flies.  With the power of the Way of Air I will also fly and confront the Jade Dragon, and make him see his ways are hurtful.  He will see the truth of my argument, for dragons are wise, leave and it will be I who saves the people of Pan-Yu.  But I also agree with my colleagues that our troubles will be meaningless unless the beauty of Pan-Yu is worthy.  We must see her first.

And finally, laughing out loud.  The largest of the four, an overweight but strong warrior stepped forward.  Brothers, I protest.  You all know that I am the best.  I, Wu Ao will simply be the last one standing and stand I will.  The Jade Dragon will not be able to move me and he will be defeated.  The people of Pan-Yu will be saved and the Kumquats will be safe.  Now, show us the Beauty of Pan-Yu.

Since this had never happened before, the town leaders decided that it must be the way the river of life flows and so, they showed the warriors the beauty of the town.  The warriors found her most beautiful.  So much so, that legend says the warriors stood still for more than a day admiring her beauty.  When they finished admiring her, they all agreed, she was definitely worth the trouble of battling the Jade Dragon.  Each in turn offered to marry her if they defeated the Dragon.

When this happened, the Jade Dragon appeared and according to legend he was so frightened by the fact that there were four formidable warriors ready to fight him, that he took flight and left Pan-Yu forever.  The people rejoiced and the warriors demanded the Beauty decide who she would marry.  But the Beauty of the town could not decide, breaking all their hearts and refused to marry any of them.  Instead, she planted a Kumquat tree and told them all.  I am a daughter of Pan-Yu, and my first love is for the Kumquat.  I cannot marry any of you, for I will always be true to my first love.

Ever since then, to commemorate the legend, the people of Pan-Yu have celebrated the Beauty’s rejection of the Warriors, and have planted another Kumquat tree year after year.  This event is called the Festival of the Kumquat Queen.  To reenact the festival, the people of Pan-Yu dress four secret dancers in a green dragon costume, and they parade into town to drums, and fireworks.  The Dragon Dancers are confronted by four warriors, one from each of the martial schools in town.

The School of the Garrison of Pan-Yu sends their best soldier.  They are responsible for training the soldiers of Pan-Yu and claim that Wang Farong of the Way Of Fire founded their school.

Then there is the School of the Fishermen, who claim that their school was started by Wu Tian.  They follow the Way of Water, and always make a great entrance along the ports.

The Buddhist temple of Pan-Yu fields their best Wushu practitioner, in the spirit of Au Rong of the Way of Air.

But the best show, it being the harvest, is always given by the Farmer’s Guild and their strongest member. They claim that Wu Ao was their founding member and that his Way of Earth is what they follow.

The warriors all make fancy entrances and parade to the stage in the center of town, where they meet the Beauty of Pan-Yu.  They all then recite the speeches made by the four warriors so long ago.  Then they demand that the Beauty of Pan-Yu reveal herself.  She does, removing the veil from her face, and the warriors must then stand there for the rest of the day and night.

The dragon appears in the morning, and dances towards the stage, when the four warriors approach him.  They all dance together and the dragon finally runs away.  Then the Beauty of Pan-Yu rejects the warriors and plants a Kumquat tree.  The next five days are spent in celebration, and many Kumquats are eaten to rejoice the freedom of Pan-Yu.

And so, Pan-Yu has been, and so Pan-Yu will always be.

This year would be no different.  Then again, nothing is absolute.

Bi Xin Niu

The Bi family was important.  They had lived in Pan-Yu since before the founding legends of the Jade Dragon and the Kumquats.  For generations the Bi family had managed the production of the Kumquats of Pan-Yu.  Over the years they came to own a great percentage of the Kumquat harvest.  They ran the Kumquat collective which pooled the Kumquat harvests of all the Kumquat orchards in Pan-Yu.  They then took care of the packaging, shipping and storage of the Kumquats. 

Father Bi was the head of the collective and he was a very fair man.  He was known for his honesty and generosity.  Each orchard contributed to the collective and got their fair share of the proceeds from the sale of the collective’s Kumquats, according to their contribution.  

Uncle Bi ran the sales arm of the family business.  He coordinated and managed all of the Kumquat sales from the collective, and helped to meet customer needs.  He was very well known in the empire.  Often times, Uncle Bi would invite customers to the family estates on the eastern slope of the Mountain of the White Cloud to enjoy some time in the spring, or simply a good meal and a view.

Mother Bi was well known throughout Pan-Yu for her beauty and her generosity to the Buddhist Temple and the poorer people of Pan-Yu.  She would often visit the homes of the elderly and disabled with an entourage of servants who would help clean, care and feed them.  She did this so often, that the people of Pan-Yu call her Mom.

The Bi’s had only one child, Xin Niu, and she was beautiful.  So beautiful, it was said, that when she was born a song bird flew into the house carrying a lotus blossom in its beak and settled it on her forehead chirping a beautiful tune.  All were in awe then and now that she was a young lady all were speechless at the sight of her.

Father Bi was proud of her.  Not only was she beautiful, but she was extremely intelligent.  He knew that some day she would take up the family business and be a great organizer of the Kumquat Collective.  Uncle Bi was childless and unmarried, never caring for it.  However, he also thought Xin Niu would be great at running the sales part of the business as well.  He believed no-one could refuse her.

Mother Bi loved her daughter and cared for her tremendously.  Her daughter was always at her side when Mother Bi did her charitable work.  Mother Bi was proud that Xin Niu was beautiful.  It took a lot of work to be that way.  All through her younger years, Mother Bi trained Xin Niu in the right things to do about hair, makeup, posture, grace and etiquette.  She trained Xin Niu so well, that at the age of 12, Xin Niu was a model of the perfect princess, and ready to be courted for marriage by the appropriate prince.

And there were many appropriate princes who tried.  It seemed like every month after her birth another suitor would show up.  By the age of 15, Xin Niu’s parents were starting to take offers from other merchant families to match Xin Niu with their sons.  However, Xin Niu’s parents had strict rules about that.  They refused every offer and told every suitor that on Xin Niu’s 16th Birthday, if she was crowned the Kumquat Queen, then their sons would have to present themselves as one of the Four Jade Dragon Champions.  Then whomever Xin Niu refused last would be allowed to court her for two years.  If they were consistent, capable and appropriate, then Xin Niu would be given to them.

It was uncommon in those days for the bride’s family to provide any kind of conditions, since the bride married into the husband’s family and not the other way around.  But Xin Niu was a Bi of Pan-Yu, her family was well off and she was the most beautiful woman any one had ever seen.  So, her parents were able to provide conditions.

And they did.

Captain Wa of the Pan-Yu garrison was first son of the Wa clan.  His father was a general in the Imperial army and famous for brilliant defenses against the Man’s to the North.  Captain Wa had been given control over the region and had decided