Why Marriage Doesn't Work

By Chuck Singleton

Marriage doesn’t work! Is there nothing that can be done? Finding that special someone would seem like an obvious destiny for everyone. At the right point in life, one should find their soul mate, fall in love, and be married. After all, everything seems to point there. At a certain point, people are suggesting that marriage is the next natural step. Friends are not only taking that step but are encouraging you to do it too. Friends and family seem to support the idea of marriage. Hormones are screaming “Find a mate!” “Find your love!” “Find a partner!” But marriage doesn’t work! Marriage is on the rocks! Marriage doesn’t work! It’ a bold statement. A popular television program is titled Why Planes Crash. The book author, David Souci, jumps on planes to fly around the world to tell us why planes crash. We can conclude that he’s obviously not saying all planes crash, or he couldn’t fly on to tell us about it. These stories/novellas are based on real-life stories and come directly from my counseling files. Each chapter is a story or novella. Some are bright and colorful, some are tragically sad, some gut-busting funny, and some deliriously joyful. Some end in sad divorces, some explode into amazingly beautiful romance. Yes, there are a few happy-ever-after endings. And there is some scandalous mess! “Private Reserve” is the music CD for the stories. There are five Grammys behind the performers and songs with the accompanying music (chucksingletonmusic.com). With all the cheerleaders, salespersons, advocates, and encouragers, how could something so important to everyone just not work? That’s what this book is about.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 13, 2020
• ISBN: 9781684568185

Book preview

cover.jpg

Why Marriage Doesn't Work

Chuck Singleton

Copyright © 2019 Chuck Singleton

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

New York, NY

First originally published by Page Publishing, Inc. 2019

ISBN 978-1-68456-819-2 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-68456-818-5 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Dreams Come True

Before Sunset

Secret Whispers

First Kiss

Two-Way Street

#IDivorceYou

Say Goodbye… Say Hello… Say Yes

(How one man remembers the perfect marriage)

Call Me

To Cheat or Not To Cheat

Turn Away

Crazy About You

Feel the Love

Foreword

Texting

Chuck. I thought to ask Rick Warren then Jesse Jackson, Smokey Robinson, or Crawford Loritts to write the foreword to this book. But then it came to me—who better to ask than the one who has been my wife, my compadre, my companion, and the mother of my sons?

Charlyn. I just went to send you a text message saying I love you! And then I saw this text you sent me yesterday, which is so sweet: Yes, we have been together for a long time, and our anniversary is just around the corner [hint, hint]! Wow! That is hard to believe! I really, really enjoyed our family time last night. I am committed to having more of those in the years to come.

Chuck. Sweet, I thoroughly enjoyed our family night too. Our daughter-in-law’s meal was delicious, and I have two pounds to prove it. Thank you for setting it up and for the tasteful, seasonal decor of our home. It’s beautiful!

Charlyn. So on the foreword… Why did you think of those guys before you thought of me?

Chuck. Duh, I don’t know? Do you?

Charlyn. Are they sweeter than me?

Chuck. I don’t think so.

Charlyn. Have any of them stood by you as long as I have?

Chuck. Not at all.

Charlyn. So on the foreword… Why did you think of those guys before you thought of me?

Chuck. Ugh, I suppose old habits die hard?

Charlyn. Why did you name the book Why Marriage Doesn’t Work?

Chuck. I explained it in the introduction. It’s a sort of play on words, and I almost added a veces. That’s sometimes in Spanish. So it was Why Marriage Doesn’t Work… Sometimes.

Charlyn. Okay, now I’ll be your first fan. I love it. The stories were usually so romantic that I thought it was a romance novel.

Chuck. They were written as novellas, so the very interesting romance was intentional.

Charlyn. Some were a little sad.

Chuck. Yes, and such is life, especially if we don’t yield to God. I hope those sadder stories didn’t ruin the fun.

Charlyn. The Lessons Learned after each chapter seemed to always bring me back to a healthy reality.

Chuck. The stories—chapters—are based on true, real-life stories. Reminiscing, I realized what beautiful and often brutal stories have unfolded in counseling.

Charlyn. How does your Private Reserve romantic music work into this?

Chuck. The songs have the same stories and same titles as the chapters. As you know, we have four Grammy-winning artists who helped produce, write, and sing the songs with me.

Charlyn. Your songs are surprisingly gorgeous ballads and Steps songs. Thank you for the dedication.

Chuck. You’re welcome. You’re sweet.

Charlyn. So on the foreword… Why did you think of those guys before you thought of me?

Introduction

Marriage is on the rocks! And guess what? Shacking is doing even worse. But then, the negatives are interrupted by the sunshine of wonderfully beautiful stories of romance and love. The sentimental romance, somehow, seems to make up for the horror stories. This book hopes to tell the stories that show us the good and the bad of romance and marriage. But from the good and the bad, we want to learn the love lessons that can take us to paradise.

Marriage doesn’t work! Is there nothing that can be done? Finding that special someone would seem like an obvious destiny for everyone. At the right point in life, one should find their soul mate, fall in love, and be married. After all, everything seems to point there. At a certain point, people are suggesting that marriage is the next natural step. Friends are not only taking that step but are encouraging you to do it too. Friends and family seem to support the idea of marriage. Hormones are screaming Find a mate! Find your love! and Find a partner! But marriage doesn’t work! Marriage is on the rocks! Marriage doesn’t work! It’s a bold statement.

A popular television program is titled Why Planes Crash. The book author, David Souci, jumps on planes to fly around the world to tell us why planes crash. We can conclude that he’s obviously not saying all planes crash or he couldn’t fly on to tell us about it. This book is titled Why Marriage Doesn’t Work. That’s not to say that all marriages fail, and it doesn’t attempt to confirm the oft quoted scary statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce. I thought to add to the title, en español, a veces. It translates as sometimes.

With all the cheerleaders, salespersons, advocates, and encouragers, how could something so important to everyone just not work? That’s what this book is about. What are the bumps in the road, the signs along the way keeping marriage on the rocks? And how can your relationship turn it all around?

The writings are based upon more than thirty years of counseling and on the study of the work of other counselors. These stories/novellas are based on real-life stories and come directly from my counseling files. Each chapter is a story or novella. Some are bright and colorful, some are tragically sad, some gut-busting funny, and some deliriously joyful. Some end in sad divorces, some explode into amazingly beautiful romance. Yes, there are a few happy-ever-afters. And there is some scandalous mess! Private Reserve is the music for the stories. There are five Grammys behind the songs I wrote and performed with the accompanying music. Paradise, Two-Way Street, Secret Whispers, Turn Away, Chicago, and Steppin’ Line are some of the beautifully produced songs to match the stories. George Duke, Cindy Herron, and Shavoni (Scott Parker) join other musicians and producers to set the backdrop for these novellas.

Romance is a dying art. Most are too busy or lazy for the meditation, forethought, or investments necessary for romance to blossom.

What we’ll see in this book is that the long-term investor is the wise investor for romance. Sometimes, it takes years for the payoff. And you’ll see, often, it may seem one only sees negative returns.

Love at first sight is easy to understand. It’s when you’ve been looking at each other for a lifetime that love becomes a miracle.

I rarely text my wife. She knows I don’t like to text her when I can hear her voice instead. To tease her, I texted her to ask if she would write the foreword to this book. She texted me back. I texted her again, then back and forth we texted until we decided that the text link would become the foreword. Enjoy that before you dig into the book, which I pray will be as interesting to read as it was to write.

Chapter One

Dreams Come True

A woman, without her man, is nothing.

A woman: without her, man is nothing.

—Anonymous

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine.

—Song of Solomon 1:2 (NIV)

It was evening when the quiet lady made her way to the doorsteps of the church. She was dressed to the nines. She wore the most expensive-looking black dress, with lace opera gloves matching the lace trim around her vintage black hat. Her jewelry was gracefully accenting her outfit. There was about her the slight smell of French perfume and champagne. Her dark glasses contradicted the setting sun. Way overdressed for the neighborhood and place, she looked elegant nonetheless. She was a mysterious lady. The church itself was as quiet as the proverbial church mouse. The minister waiting in his office had warned the janitors and associate pastor of a coming appointment. When my appointment arrives, show him in, he had asked. Only the janitors cleaning and a typist working a keyboard interrupted the evening’s still. When the lady in black walked in, workers presumed her the appointment as she was escorted to the counselor’s office. Her walk was steady, and her gaze was straight ahead. Expecting a sad tale of marital woes, the minister politely introduced himself then sat, quietly waiting. But nothing came…except the tears. Thinking her composure would soon follow, he avoided opportunities to interrupt the crying. He prepared water for her but avoided eye contact so that she’d be comfortable enough when ready to talk. Her tears flowed freely while words seemed to escape the silent conversation.

He stood to retrieve the box of napkins across the room. Without a word of thanks, she took them, wiping her face, without removing her glasses. The bright lights across the street shined through the open windows. The noises, yells, distant gunshots, and sirens from the street below made the minister wonder how such a finely dressed lady had dared to venture out into this neighborhood so late into the evening. The neighborhood was far from the city’s safest, but the church was there because the leaders believed it was their mission. With four liquor stores on the block, the one across the street had a large sign, which had declared, for ten years, Under New Management. The minister was beginning to be concerned, as her unexplained tears seemed to become uncontrollable. But then, with a deep breath, she seemed ready to talk. She pulled off one of her gloves. Then she pulled off her second glove, revealing her ring finger and a massive diamond ring. Strangely, she pulled off her big diamond ring, laying it gently on