I Was A Stranger

By Susan I. Spieth

Did I visit your church? 

Fifty churches, over twenty-five denominations, spanning sixteen months with one main question in mind: "I was a stranger; did you welcome me?" Based on Matthew 25, this clergywoman set out to discover what it's like to experience various worship styles and practices. Included are visits to Catholic, Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist, Lutheran, Episcopal, independent, Jehovah Witness, Latter Day Saints, Evangelicals, Pentecostals, Quakers and many more. What she found will surprise, delight and challenge the reader.

With chapters titled: "Uncle Joe's kissing has to stop," "Active shooter drill," and "A late star and a terrible finish," you'll get the unvarnished experience in each setting. During the primary election season and through the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic, this book highlights her experience in each church. These anecdotal visits will appeal to church and non-church goers alike. Faith seekers, agnostics, unbelievers and devout believers will learn about the basic faith practices of other Christian denominations. Those in church leadership, and those who plan or participate in worship, will learn what works, and what doesn't, with first-time visitors. 

 

Susan I. Spieth was ordained in the United Methodist Church in 1996, after earning a Master of Divinity from Ashland Theological Seminary. She served six churches over almost twenty years before retiring to pursue her writing interests. Prior to that, she served in the US Army as a missile maintenance officer and is a graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point. She and her husband have two adult children and live in New Jersey. More information can be found at her website, SusanISpieth.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Susan I. Spieth
• Release date: Sep 26, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393632047

Book preview

January 6, 2019

Blessing the windows.

The Episcopal Church (TEC)

WE BELIEVE IN FOLLOWING the teachings of Jesus Christ, whose life, death, and resurrection saved the world. We believe that God loves you–no exceptions.

The quaint stone church, built in the 1920s, appeared well maintained. The small parking lot was less than half full when I arrived. As I waited in my car, I remembered something from the church's website. The Welcome section described the two services, and the one I would attend was a Choral Eucharist with organ and choir and lasts approximately 60-75 minutes (Rite II, except during Lent, when we move to Rite I.)

I guess everyone should know their Rites.

However, in their What we Believe section, they had four main headings: We believe that God is good; We believe that we are made in God’s image; We believe we were meant to love; We believe the sacraments connect us to God. I really like that they simplified it all down to those four and didn’t get bogged down in scriptural or creedal discrepancies. These statements make it easier for the newcomer to feel welcome.  

Even though I’m a seasoned church-attender, I was a little nervous as I entered the front door at 9:55 AM. A man greeted me and handed me a bulletin. I sat in the fourth or fifth pew from the back, right hand side. My cover was blown right away when I didn’t curtsy before entering the pew and bow toward the altar before sitting down. I saw most others do those two things.

The bulletin was two, 9x16 papers folded in half to make eight printed pages. Just about everything I needed to know was there. The Hymnal and Book of Common Prayer were conveniently located in the pew holders. No Bibles present, though. The scripture readings were all printed in the bulletin. I guess this is their way of doing things, but I always prefer to look up the scripture, and follow along as it's being read.

The service started with the processional hymn. While we stood to sing, What Child is This, a woman carrying a tall cross led the rest of the choir and the pastors down the center aisle. The attendance seemed to almost double and the congregational singing got much better once they entered. There’s nothing like a few good voices to inspire the rest of us. I counted about thirty souls, including the two clergy, five choir members and one child. (Actually, there were two more children lying down on a pew who emerged later.)

The service continued with prayers, hymns, and scripture readings, all led by men. I'm not opposed to male leadership, but the absence of any women voices felt somewhat exclusionary. Before reading the Gospel lesson, the man did something with his thumb to his face. Not sure what that meant. The pastor stood in the elevated pulpit to give the sermon. His address was humorous, relevant, and not too long, thankfully. My take was that he seemed approachable and genuine, both qualities I would want in a pastor. Again, he made the sign of the cross on his chest, along with the congregants. It’s not something I am accustomed to doing, but I know Episcopalians came out of the Church of England, which came out of the Roman Catholic Church, so it makes some sense.  (The third generational United Methodist Church, which came out of the Church of England, dropped that requirement.)

While facing forward in the front row, another man read the prayers of the people, printed in the bulletin. We responded with Hear us, God of Glory, after each stanza. Then the pastor asked us to pass the peace. This is where it got interesting. I stood and greeted those around me, like everyone else. Then, people started leaving their pews to greet everyone they couldn’t initially reach. The pastors and choir members made their way down the aisle to greet everyone in the congregation. I came toward the aisle so I could be included. Most said, Peace be with you, or Peace.

One woman said, Hi, I’m Linda. I don’t think I’ve seen you before.

No, I’m just visiting, I said.

Welcome, she said.

While everyone else kept chitchatting, I stood awkwardly at the end of the pew, wishing they would get on with it already. Finally, the pastor reached the back pews, shook my hand and said, Welcome. He returned to the front and that seemed to be everyone's cue to settle down.

The Rector made several announcements about church events, Bible studies, etc. He mentioned the new sanctuary windows and said we would now do a blessing of the windows. He directed those closest to them to lay a hand on the windows. I was slightly troubled by this, as I’m not sure why we would bless inanimate objects. Blessing animals, voyages, endeavors, events, even water, air, sky, and earth, seems fine. But windows? I guess I hadn’t really considered that. The pastor’s blessing of the windows turned out to be a simple prayer of thanksgiving for the gift of the windows and for the light that shines through them, as God’s light shines through us. It was well done.

The offering, the Doxology, and the Eucharist liturgy were next. No instructions on how to receive communion, but starting with the back pew, we were motioned to the front. Everyone knelt at the cushioned railing in front of the altar. On the end of the row, I had just enough room to put one knee down. Luckily, it was my good knee. I saw everyone else put their hands out, ready to receive something, so I did the same. The Rector gave us all a piece of Pita bread. Then, the woman who had carried the cross came by with the chalice. I saw the others dip their bread into the cup. I did the same and ate the bread. When the others rose, they bowed to the altar before returning to their seats. I just got up and walked back, since it felt disingenuous for me to do that.

The service quickly ended after a post communion prayer and hymn, about 75 minutes total. I left through the same door and greeted the rector on my way out. He said, Welcome, again.

I felt the service was meaningful and worshipful. While only one person greeted me personally (Linda), I felt comfortable in the setting. Yet, I think they missed an opportunity to get to know a little more about me. No one asked me my name, nothing was mentioned about filling out a visitor’s card, nor did anyone ask me to stay for coffee hour (which was mentioned in the service.) Some were staying to do a post-Christmas cleanup and it’s possible they didn’t want to put me to work right away. But still, I think they could have been a little more proactive in welcoming me. So, I am torn a bit here. While I would feel good about visiting again, on this first visit I have to say this church FAILED the WELCOME TEST.

January 13, 2019

Throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

Sovereignty (Independent)

AS A CHURCH, WE BELIEVE together that the scriptures are our only authority in matters of faith and practice.

I was almost tempted to nix this church visit. The website said this used to be a Baptist Church but after significant decline, they decided to transfer to a new model, which seems to be a franchise of sorts. Apparently, they were ...willing to leave behind their former glory, methods, and structure, to become the first replant/renewal of the Sovereignty network of churches. There are now eight Sovereignty locations. I read through the Beliefs section and this church falls solidly in the conservative category. That’s what scared me. As a former woman pastor, this will not likely be my kind of church. Most of their dogma is pretty standard but a few areas made me cringe. They believe in male leadership (that means no women pastors or leaders); that marriage is only between a man and a woman (hence no gays); and most scary of all they believe: in the existence of a personal devil who is still working in the world to destroy the souls of men and that he and all his angels and all who do not receive Christ as their personal Savior will eternally perish in the lake of fire. I was somewhat comforted to read that their worship is winsomely reformed, so I hoped I wouldn’t hear too much about that nasty personal devil.

Although my goal was not to judge their beliefs, feeling welcome/unwelcome is certainly impacted by what is communicated in the website and during the church service. By the website alone, I could tell that I would not be welcomed if I was a gay person, or God forbid, a woman pastor.

Ah well, I accepted the challenge and found myself sitting in their casual and relaxed worship space. They encouraged worshippers to grab a coffee and bring it into the auditorium. They didn’t call it sanctuary. Other than the stained-glass windows and the pews, there was nothing else that revealed the sanctuary's former glory. No cross, no altar, no flowers, nothing that would seem too traditional. They did have a projector that shot images onto a huge screen at the front of the auditorium, where the altar might have once been. Information on home groups, volunteering and Bible trivia flashed on the screen before the service began. It felt a little like watching the previews before a movie. But later, I saw the value of the slide show as it eliminated the need for formal announcements during the service.

A woman greeted me and asked my name. She welcomed me to the church and introduced her son. She nodded to her husband at the front of the church in the sweater, as the pastor. She wore a big smile and had a warm manner. I thought she was very nice.

The usher, whom I missed on the way in, approached me and said, Did you get a bulletin?

Yes, I did, thank you, I said.

Did you also get a candy? he held up a jar of bite-sized goodies.

Oh, no, thank you, I grabbed a peppermint.

So far, they were doing quite well, welcoming-wise.

The service started a little late, about 10:08 AM, which normally wouldn't be a problem, except that it didn't end until about 11:45 AM. A husband and wife (I knew from the website), sang songs at the front of the congregation. A few people quietly sang along, but it felt more like we were watching a performance, rather than participating in the singing. We sang for almost twenty minutes. After that, I was delighted to see a woman get up to lead a prayer. Oops, it was a silent prayer. But at least she had a role in the service.

We sang another song and then came the greeting time. A bunch of folks got up and went back for more coffee in the former narthex. They probably didn’t call it that. One guy opened his computer and put on headphones. I greeted the people around me while everyone else used the bathrooms, refreshed their beverages and socialized. When I ran out of greeters I sat back down in the pew, wondering how long this would last. Then a young man, (well, a bit younger than me) came over and introduced himself. He said I looked familiar, had I been here before? No, I assured him, this was my first visit. Then, he invited me to stay for lunch, which they do every week. No need to bring anything, just stay and meet some folks. He was very gracious.

I said, I can't stay today, but thank you for inviting me. And I meant it.

Somewhere in this greeting time, we were supposed to drop our offering in a box somewhere. I didn't quite catch what had been said and since it wasn't plainly obvious, I didn't do anything. Needless to say, no Doxology, no Lord's Prayer, no responsive readings, no formal liturgy of any kind. I kind of wished they had kept some of their former glory. It seemed like they had thrown out the baby with the bathwater.

The pastor finally stood up about 10:45 AM. He asked us to open the Bible and look at the scripture together, but we didn't get to that until about fifteen minutes later. At some point, I realized this was a teaching sermon, which was not likely to have a clear beginning, middle and end. It was not a finely crafted piece of written or spoken art, which I always want in a sermon. This was more like an informative lecture, which probably appeals to some, just not to me. The pastor did seem genuine and relatable, which made it easier for me to sit through his forty-five-minute talk. He covered a lot of ground with the Parable of the Good Samaritan, but I wish he could’ve covered just one point really well. I’ve always found it hard to take home more than one nugget a week. There’s at least fifty-two sermons a year and it’s okay to save something for the next time.

We finally stood to sing one last time. I feared it might take another twenty minutes, so I escaped out the back, right behind another couple.

This was not my kind of church. I would not be nourished by a steady diet of this type of worship. But obviously, there is an appeal for others. There were approximately seventy people attending, a healthy mix of racial diversity, and a number of worshippers with hands in the air. Regardless of how it felt to me, they were welcoming and inviting to me on my first visit. The pastor's wife, the usher, and the young man, all made it clear that I was welcome to their community of faith. This church PASSED the WELCOME