Æsop’s Fables: Here and Now

By Everett Anderson

Æsop's Fables - Here and Now brings common sense and humor to the 21st Century. The author deftly weaves into his stories and commentary an exploration of the Facts of Life – meaning truth is universal and applies to everyone at all times; … what did you think it meant? …. Well, sure, that too. Æsop's original stories chose cute and perceptive animals to represent and inspire people in cute and perceptive stories. In like manner, our author, Æverett Anderson, blends humor, personal reflections and interpersonal observations from his multifarious years to convey his message in an entertaining, homespun, breezy manner.

A book for all ages. The catalyst for the book was the author's desire to pass on, without rejection, the wisdom of the ages to his grandchildren, but the finished manuscript has found heartfelt (amen!) appeal to readers of all ages. The stories from the past and present and their inevitable conclusion have hit a responsive chord across generations; how could it not with Aesop as its guru. For teenagers, the book is a script for successful living. For parents, it is a welcome lesson plan and guide in their child's development. And for grand folks, it is a nostalgic journey and the answer to the eternal question, “What memorable, life impacting present can I give my favorite school child on their graduation?”

Fundamental themes in life remain the same. Æverett draws apt stories from real life, fiction, and assorted philosophers, here and then, to pass on basic truths. Each chapter focuses on a different area of interest, from coronavirus and health concerns, to sex, love, God, death, horses, and more – topics that occupy so much of our daily effort. Æsop's Fables – Here and Now is an entertaining, thought provoking, reminiscent read.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Presentation Dynamics
• Release date: Aug 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781928564294

Book preview

life.

Chapter 1

TRUTH AND WISDOM

In the words of the noted sage, distinguished philosopher, and accomplished fry cook, Odd Thomas:

When social forces press for the rejection of age-old Truth, then those who reject it will seek meaning in their own truth. These truths will rarely be Truth at all; they will be only collections of personal preferences and prejudices.³

I may be about to prove that statement. I prefer to think I have objectively observed the machinations of the world and humanity and am prepared to guide you to an understanding of age-old Truth, known to me as Rules of Order. But you will decide.

Truth is not always a welcome visitor…. The world frequently conspires to muzzle or destroy its truest seers.²⁶

A certain grade school teacher was notorious for making every happening an opportunity to teach a lesson, i.e. "see children, that’s what happens when you don’t learn your participles, when you don’t wear clean underwear, when you tease your sister, etc.

One morning several kids were late. They explained the bus driver came to pick them up, and then remembered he had forgotten to put in his false teeth, so he tried to turn around and got stuck, and we had to wait for the farmer to bring his tractor to pull us out.

See children, that’s what happens when you don’t brush your teeth!²⁸

One of my children, in a dysfunctional moment after hearing me relate some story of my youth, said, Dad, you should write your memoirs so those moments won’t be lost. Even I, filled with unique experiences and wisdom beyond understanding, know that memoirs are an exercise in self service and justification; they are ovinely purchased and scanned by dutiful children and benevolent friends and neighbors.

So, not a travelogue: but I did want to be heard and use the opportunity to pass on lessons of life. My working title was Æverett’s Rules of Order. My plan was to explore Universal Truths, but declaring to know the truth has been so overworked I adopted Rules of Order using personal erstwhile experiences and the wisdom of the ages as a platform.

When my publisher read the manuscript he said, Everett, Rules of Order doesn’t sell books. Let’s use your message and change the title to Æsop’s Fables - Here and Now. Since I had already exploited the title Robert’s Rules of Order and had indeed used Æsop’s fable/moral" technique, why not?

Finally, I was christened Everett but adopted the pseudonym ÆVERETT; it is simply a play on ÆSOP’S FABLES and was actually the catalyst for all things Æsop in the text. I have long been infatuated with the Æ symbol; no reason, except as an E person (Everett, Excellence, Effervescent, Et cetera, E = mc²) I just like its profile. I summarize the lessons at the end of each chapter by injecting a MORAL à la Æsop. Beyond that, I am not cloaking myself in ÆSOP’s immortality.

Did you know that many scholars agree that ÆSOP never existed? According to them, his book of fables is a collection of folklore by various writers over several centuries.⁴⁷ I wonder, will history decide Æverett never existed? That is a truth for Generation Omega.

Demographic

My intended audience was teenagers. I had my grandchildren in view as I wrote. Young readers, expect a challenge. I will not talk down and I will not entertain; this is a textbook, not a story book.*

*This is a device called lowering expectation; my actual goal is to entertain while challenging.

But the finished product has appealed to all generations. Older children (in the 20 to 95 demographic*) are welcome to read. It is unlikely many minds will be swayed, but perhaps you will be entertained and your insights will be confirmed. If you agree with my analysis, nod approvingly and speak kindly. (If you disagree, then be disagreeable, so there!)

*I am not clear on the top age range, I just know that at 82 I am glad for yesterday, enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow, and appreciate a good book!

Some parents may want to read this book to their children using the text as a guide to instill values. You may want to skip the rather graphic parts on S-E-X. This will be an incentive for them to learn to read. Grandparents may want to pass on this book as a graduation gift.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

Regardless of your age or background, there is going to be something in this text that turns you off or offends you. When this happens you are encouraged to skip to chapter 31 What If I have Already Replanted (the title will eventually make sense).

This chapter acknowledges the exigencies and diversity in training, cultures, and real life. Keep reading for the value you find herein and jettison that which does not fit your mold.

Sources

My sources are referenced throughout the text and in the footnotes.

During the first session of Old Testament History 301 my professor noted that he would be using the Bible and other ancient sources. He noted that we were going to learn some things we were not told in Sunday school.

My life approach is traditional, but there will be some very non-Sunday school conclusions and, perhaps, some of your most cherished beliefs will be confronted. I know that many of the things I knew to be true when I was 16, 26, and 43 just weren’t so. We never stop learning.

Confession: I use many sources from books of fiction, even quoting or referencing fictional characters, à la Odd Thomas or ÆSOP. The authors have used these characters to express a point and I find them pertinent and stated better than I.

MORAL: Truth is not a four letter word

Chapter 2

THERE ARE RULES OF ORDER

When I speak of Rules of Order, I do not refer to parliamentary procedure in conducting a meeting. Rather, I am referring to Universal Rules of Order variously referred to as Universal Truths or Facts of Life. These are rules that have proven timeless in their accuracy and relevance. Regardless of how we pirouette around it, there are simple, universal rules.

Ronald Reagan was being interviewed by a reporter. The reporter’s question was typical, cloaked in political correctness and touchy, feely diversions. Such questions usually elicited long winded, evasive responses from the politically correct and politicians.

Reagan’s answer was, yes.

The reporter was stopped for a moment as he was already formulating his next question. He stuttered, But it is a complex question.

Reagan said, Yes, but the answer is simple.

Some things are always simply, unshakably true. Such rules and their application apply equally to driving a carriage or a Corvette; operating a 20 mule team or an 18 wheeler; writing on papyrus or using a computer.

The problem I confront is, Is my identification of Life’s Rules of Order correct? Many books, essays, and pundits profess to know and explain universal truths. Virtually every talk show host, columnist, and preacher lays claim to veritable insights.

I will not have any new or unique revelations about these facts of life. I quote many sources as they have said it first and best.

May the words of my word processing program and the conclusions of my experience be acceptable unto thee.

MORAL: Universal rules apply to all times and ages

Chapter 3

THERE IS NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN

Mrs. Monkhouse, my high school English teacher, asked me to enter the Extemporaneous Speaking category for the annual interscholastic league competition. It was a program similar to today’s meets with categories in English, math, etc. Participants would begin at the district level and, by placing in the top three, climb step by step to the state level.

What was Extemporaneous Speaking?

Extemporaneous Speaking involved giving a speech without advance preparation and rehearsal. On arrival participants are given a list of four or five topics to choose from, usually current events. They select one topic, go to a private room for 30 minutes of preparation, and then deliver a speech before the judges. Pertinent news magazines and reference materials are provided.

I had never heard of Extemporaneous Speaking, let alone done it. When asked, I did what every enterprising teenager would do, I said, Sure! and went and asked my mother what to do. Her advice was: An audience chiefly remembers the beginning and ending of a speech. Start off with a good joke and have an ending fraught with meaning. So, prepare a generic opening and closing that would fit any topic then fill the space in between. She gave me this joke for a possible opening:

The new minister was at his first pastorate out of seminary. Beginning each sermon he would raise his right hand, palm out, thumb and two outer fingers closed, and flick down then up the two remaining fingers. At the end of the sermon he repeated the action using his left hand. Finally, after a few Sundays one of the elders asked him about the gestures. Ah, said the young minister, I am young, just out of school, with no experiences. Everything I say is merely repeating what others have said. So this (right hand gesture) is quote and this (left hand gesture) is unquote.

My words and sentiments are not original so place quotation marks around this treatise. (And yes, I am aware that the jokes I use are also repeats; humor me {so to speak}; there are no new jokes, either.) In spite of statements such as This is the twenty first century! It’s not like it was in the old days! everything has been said, done, thought, and/or occurred in the past.

So, how did you do in extemporaneous speaking? you ask. The answer is anti-climactic; I don’t know. At district I was the only entrant, so I won first without ever giving a speech. At regional there were nine entries. I delivered my maiden extemporaneous speech using Mother’s joke as an opening and something of import (probably along the lines of I just want to help people and promote world peace) as a closing. I did not place in the top three so I have no idea how I did. I could have been a close fourth (my preference) or a sympathetic ninth.

Youth

Society showers much reverence on the concept of youth, its promise, wisdom, and insight. Children are praised at mastering each learning stage. They are fed idealistic visions that they are unique and special.

And, yes, you are unique, just as each snowflake is unique. Time and performance will determine the quality of your uniqueness. Rest easy, there are many great discoveries awaiting your revelation. It remains true that most great, Nobel worthy discoveries come in the first 40 years of life. Take heart, ye senior reader, knowing that this first book came in my 82nd year

Conversely, youth can have an inflated sense of the brilliance of its conclusions. Read on!

Napoleon was quoted as saying At the age of twenty I sent to the Academy of Lyons various writings which I subsequently withdrew. When I read them I found that their author deserved to be whipped. What ridiculous things I said and how annoyed I would be if they were preserved!¹⁸

Or there was Kinsey Millhone’s observation At twenty-two … I’d thought I was mature … but I was foolish and unenlightened. My judgment was faulty and my perception was flawed.¹⁹

Then there was Ronald Reagan: some of you may remember that in my early days, I was sort of a bleeding heart liberal. Then I became a man and put away childish ways.¹⁹a

Finally, my turn to learn the same lesson came: In Public Speaking 301, a college freshman course, we gave our first speech. Using my mother’s advice I prepared and delivered a beautiful speech, my first ever before a live audience. (It’s amazing how well you remember your first! My extemporaneous speech, totally forgotten, didn’t count.) I began with the poem:

You’re wonderful; you’re marvelous;

You’re utterly divine;

Your charming personality

Is sweet as it can be;

You handsome little darling,

I’m awfully glad you’re me. (Anon)

With that beginning I had their attention (Mother would have been proud) and took off on a