The Merry Kind of Things

By Leigh Macfarlane

The wedding everyone in Lakeland has been waiting for is finally here! With the big event happening just before Christmas -- at Zara Vineyard -- Colleen and Drew have a host of last-minute preparations to make. The rash of increasingly violent robberies happening in Lakeland are not helping make the lead up to the big day any easier.
Since all her closest friends are affected by the series of crimes, Colleen feels like she is bouncing from one hospital visit to the next. Then Fur Face Salon itself is robbed, and neither Drew nor Sylvester are prepared to have the woman they both love injured without doing some damage of their own back. Drew suspects a drug connection to the crimes. With the wedding a few short days away, he is on the clock trying to prove it, though.
Abbie is excited about the wedding and cautiously optimistic about their family's future. She also is in the full-on grip of her first crush. So much change is distracting, so it is a good thing she and Colleen have taken up self-defense classes. Sparring gives Abbie something to concentrate on other than all the changes coming to Lakeland.
With old friends back in town to celebrate, Colleen discovers a secret she badly needs to share. Now, if only she could find the right moment to do so...
The Merry Kind of Things is the fourth and final book in The Lakeland Series. Watch Colleen and Drew get their happily-ever-after as they tie the knot, and they all finally become a family.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Leigh Macfarlane
• Release date: Nov 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9781999106263

Leigh Macfarlane

Leigh Macfarlane is a proud Canadian (eh!) author of both fiction and non-fiction books who is fortunate enough to live in California North -- the gorgeous Okanagan Valley of British Columbia. Since Leigh already lives in one of the most beautiful places in the world, many of her novels are set locally. In Leigh's books you will be transported to orchards, vineyards, ski hills, ranches, beaches, art galleries, athletic fields and waterfront cafes.Well, maybe not ski hills. Rumour has it Leigh is afraid to drive in the snow.Where heroes are concerned, I love me a cowboy, or a guy who can fix a car, a fearless protector type, or a studious professor with a sharp mind, the soft touch daddy, or a hard-body with a soft-heart. Sometimes I love me a bad boy, but I'm working on it. Just as long as he is good to his woman and cares about the world around him, I'm in.My heroines might be clutzy, or chubby, still figuring life out, or they might just have swollen bank accounts and be living the high life. Either way, my ladies are real women who appreciate life, laughter, beauty, family, puppies, chocolate, and especially the love of a strong man.When not writing, Leigh is mom to four wonderful, not so small, humans, one yap-monster dog, a gorgeous but aging cat and a fish whose quality of life appears to be declining. Once, Leigh fell off a horse, wrapped the back of her knee around a telephone pole, had horse liniment applied to her injury, and was proclaimed part horse by the race horse trainer who had fixed her up. To date, this claim has not been proven false.

Book preview

Money. In the bag.

Sunny looked at the Value Foods label on the grey plastic bag the man in the mask was holding and felt the hysteria bubble up in the back of her throat. She had a well-known and predictable response to fear -- laughter -- and she was fighting against the urge now. In fact, she was swallowing down the laughing impulse so harshly that it felt as if her throat was being scalded by acid.

He wasn’t a huge guy, and he was wearing a wrestling mask which made him look just plain ridiculous and not scary at all. But the gun he was holding in his hand and pointing her direction was absolutely massive and completely terrifying. Maybe if she kept her gaze on that and didn’t let herself think about the fact that someone who bought bargain store groceries was currently robbing her place of business, she could beat the laughter back.

Or, she thought as the first high-pitched giggle choked out of her, maybe not.

 Working here at the liquor store attached to Brandi’s pub was just a part-time put-me-through-school kind of job for Sunny. Not even a little bit worth dying for. Still, there was no way she could give the man what he wanted.

What, are you deaf? I said, money in the bag!

I-I-I can’t, Sunny hissed from behind the gales which wanted to erupt. A snort escaped from her nose, and she knew she was minutes if not seconds away from losing it completely. The t-t-tills don’t open unless you make a payment.

The man shook his masked head slightly as if this was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard, then he pulled a wallet out of his jeans pocket. Flipping it open, he pulled out a ten, then grabbed a sample-size bottle of Van Gogh Vodka from the counter where they were stacked.

Here, he said, Ring this up.

Sunny did as she was told, her fingers trembling as she reached for his ten. The laughter was coming, she could feel it tickling her uvula, could taste it on the surface of her tongue.

But, come on. She was counting out change for an armed robber. This was too much.

Thanks, he said, when she handed him a fistful of change, then dropped the vodka bottle into the bag along with his receipt. Now the money.

She lifted the cash drawer right out of the till, and that was when she lost the battle. Her shoulders started to shake, and the first rasp of sound escaped her lips as she dumped the drawer’s contents into his bag.

The ten-dollar bill he’d handed her missed and floated free to the floor. Her eyes started to water and twitch, and a sharp bark belted from the lips she’d clamped together. 

When mask-dude went down on one knee, gun still aimed on her, and started patting around the floor to locate the fallen bill, she lost the battle. Air rushed past her throat with force she couldn’t tamp down, and a crack of laughter burst from her lungs. The roar of laughter which followed was loud, and endless, and had tears rolling down her cheeks as she clutched at her sides. 

The burglar froze for a heartbeat, looking up at her from his spot on the floor with horror in his eyes. Grabbing the fallen bill, he stood and faced her.

Lady, he said, You need serious help.

His comment had her roaring that much louder. Backing up, he kept his gun pointed her direction all the way to the door. Then he jammed the gun into the back of his waistband just like the bad guys on TV shows, and he bolted outside.

Lifting the phone receiver, Sunny wasted no time. She was still laughing when she called 9-1-1. Then she sank to the floor behind the till, and her laughter turned to sobs.

Chapter Two 

This, Grisham said, pointing, Right here. This is my favourite part.

Drew shook his head as he looked from the grainy security camera image to his partner. On the screen, the robber had pulled a wallet from his back pants pocket and handed a ten-dollar bill to the clerk. Sitting in front of the computer on his desk, Jimmy was wiping tears of laughter from his eyes with the flat of his hand.

Canada’s smartest crooks, right here in Lakeland, Jimmy smirked.

She looks terrified. And he’s smart enough that you haven’t caught him yet, Drew reminded his partner in a mild voice. Though, I will admit, this is a nice change of pace from the murderers and the rapists we’ve had lately.

And the serial killers. Don’t forget Bump.

Drew was hardly going to forget the sick P.O.S. who’d gone around Lakeland attacking the town’s realtors. Especially since his first victim, Anna, was Colleen’s best friend, and she’d only just returned from a check up with specialists at New Westminster’s Royal Columbian hospital.

Thoughts of Anna reminded Drew about the woman’s new man. Jack Halvorson was a respected local realtor with enough years of experience that he was considered a leader in the community. There was something about him, though. Drew hadn’t put his finger on it just yet, but the man set low grade alarm bells off inside Drew’s brain. And now that Anna had moved into Jack’s place… It was taking all of Drew’s self-control not to invade their privacy and run a search on the guy.

Hey. The complaint in Grisham’s tone grabbed Drew’s attention. Where’d you just go, man?

Drew’s response was a grunt. He gave himself a mental shake, brought his attention back to the string of robberies Lakeland was currently experiencing. 

So, this makes what, three businesses robbed in two weeks? Is that what we’re saying?

Yeah, Grisham said, But I’m not sure it’s the same guy. Does that moron, Jimmy pointed to where the robber with the grocery bag was now freeze-framed in front of the camera, Really seem smart enough to pull all three off?

Four. 

Drew turned to where Captain Ollie stood halfway out of his office door, phone still in his hand. 

Captain?

There’s been another one, Ollie said, Only this time, he shot someone with that gun. Grisham, you better get moving. And Drew, he paused, The victim is Sarah Gibbons.

Oh, shit.

The police captain nodded. Thought you’d want to know.

Who’s Sarah Gibbons? Grisham asked.

But Drew already had his phone to his ear, listening as Colleen’s cell went to voicemail.

She’s the mother of Abbie’s best friend, Carlie, Ollie said, answering for him. He stood and waited, watching as Drew spoke into his phone.

It’s urgent; call me, both men heard Drew say. Then he kind of mumbled in a quieter voice, Uh, I’m fine. It’s not me. His voice went back to full volume. But, call me.

He looked over, saw both men watching him. Ollie’s face was on the carefully neutral side, but Jimmy wasn’t even hiding the fact that he was amused.

You’re not even married, Hayes, and you’re already whipped.

Drew merely looked at his partner flatly. She worries. And I love her. It wasn’t like I’d tell her about her daughter’s friend in a message on her phone.

 Five days, Ollie said. That’s all the freedom you have left.

Unless something fucks it up between now and then, Grisham added cheerfully.

When Drew glared at him, Jimmy’s smile widened. He knew – everyone knew – that Drew had waited pretty much his entire life to marry Colleen Royston Lewis. At ten, she’d been his first kiss. Even then, at that tender age, she’d ruined him for all other women. Despite them both going their separate ways for years – him to the police academy, her to marry her high school sweetheart and have a child she’d raise alone after a drunk driver killed her husband – they’d finally found their way to each other.

There was nothing Drew wanted more than to make Colleen Lewis his legal wife.

Nothing’s going to fuck it up, Drew said to Jimmy, then to his Captain, he added, And five days can’t come soon enough.

He opened his top desk drawer and snagged his gun and his badge, then palmed his car keys.

If you need me, I’m headed to the hospital. Right after I pick up my girls.

Whipped, Jimmy said again, and their Captain shot him a look which he ignored. You know you’re whipped when you know exactly where a woman is and what her schedule looks like.

I know where she is because she’s taking that self-defence class. With the guy you recommended. She and Abbie both are.

I don’t think so, man. Not with my guy she’s not.

What are you talking about? Of course, she is. I set it up for them myself.

No doubt, Jimmy said, But my guy busted his leg in that tournament he was in last week. He won’t be teaching self-defence or much of anything anytime soon. He’s a pro, though. I’m sure he’ll set your lady up with someone good.

Drew frowned slightly, then he flexed his fingers around his keys. I’m out of here. He glanced at Grisham, nodded at their Captain. Good luck with the case. Keep me updated, will you?

Ollie nodded, and Drew wasted no more time, just turned and hustled out the door. The Captain turned from watching his star detective to look at where Jimmy sat.

What are you still doing here, Grisham? You have a case. Get going and solve it.

 Arms. Come on, Colleen, arms up. Yes, like that, Abbie, now spin her. 

It was too weird. The self defence coach she and Abbie had been working with this past month was here, but he was sitting in a chair supervising from the sidelines as he stretched out the leg which was encased in the cast. In his place, Zack Kilmore was working her and her daughter.

She hadn’t even known he was back in town. She certainly hadn’t known this was what he did for a living now.

It was weird, and distracting. As her self-defence coach watched, Abbie grasped Colleen’s wrist, locked her elbows, then inserted her leg behind her mother’s knee, twisted sideways and let Colleen’s forward momentum do the rest. When her mother landed flat on her back in the mats, Abbie raised clasped hands above her head the way only a champion could. 

You better not be laughing, Zack, Colleen called out when she could breathe again.

I’m not, Zack said, lying through his teeth. Then he pointed at Abbie. And what you’re doing right now would get your butt kicked in a real fight.

As if I’d do this if someone was after me for real, Abbie said, but her words ended on a squeak when Colleen suddenly scissored her legs behind her daughter’s ankles, and the girl toppled, laughing, to sprawl on the mat beside her mom.

Zack glanced over at where Florian Betus, Army vet and regional Ju Jitsu Champion, watched. As always, Zack couldn’t read Flo’s thoughts. He knew he was lucky that Florian had given him this chance considering the trouble he’d gotten himself into as a teen. Not too far from here, actually. Still, Florian had served in Afghanistan. It irked Zack some that despite that, he was the one people were surprised to see back living in town.

As long as you two are down there on the mats, let’s practice defending from an attacker in a mount position. You remember the moves, or you need me to demonstrate again?

Abbie rolled on top of her mother. Straddling her mother’s waist, she grabbed Colleen’s wrists and pinned them above her head. 

We remember, Abbie said. Looking down at her mother, she grinned, then gave her best mock snarl. Okay, lady, I’ve got you now. Give me all your money.

When Colleen blew a raspberry into Abbie’s face, her daughter released her mother’s hands and sat back.

Eww, grotesque, mom.

Then she shrieked when Colleen bridged her hips, sent her daughter tumbling forward, then quickly whipped her ankle around Abbie’s neck and reversed their positions. 

Ha! Colleen smirked. And with Abbie pinned underneath her, she informed her daughter, You are so toast, kid.

Good, Colleen, Zack said, That was really good. Now, you try, Abbie.

 They wrestled a while, taking turns practicing different positions and techniques for getting away from an aggressor. Colleen was sweating by the time Zack signaled for them to grab the kick pads and spar. When Drew opened the door and entered the room, Abbie had her back to him striking and kicking at the pad Colleen held to defend herself. 

The kid had pretty good form, Drew thought, impressed. If things were different, he would have liked to watch the two a moment. Instead, he kept moving and Colleen’s attention flashed his way. Distracted, her arms dropped the level of the pad just as Abbie pivoted from her hips and threw her punch.

At the last second, Colleen sensed the incoming blow, and she twisted sideways just enough that Abbie’s fist hit her shoulder rather than connecting with her throat where aimed. Still, the punch dropped Colleen to her knees, and Abbie immediately dropped beside her.

Mom!

Colleen’s eyes were watering from the pain, and she clutched her shoulder.

Mom, I’m so sorry. Reaching out, Abbie instinctively tried to touch Colleen’s shoulder, but her mother batted her fingers away. Then, in nervous reaction, Abbie started to laugh. I’m sorry, she said when her mother gave her an incredulous look. Really, I don’t know why I’m laughing. 

It’s a stress reaction.

Abbie looked behind her at the sound of Drew’s voice.

When did you get here? Then she looked back at her mom, and her hands went to her hips. Is that why you let down your guard? she demanded, standing up. Never mind then. You deserved it.

I think you broke my shoulder.

What? Abbie looked horrified, and in that moment, Colleen swept her daughter’s ankle out from underneath her, then sprang on top of Abbie, pinned the girl on her back, and wrapped her hand around Abbie’s throat in an imaginary choke hold.

Ha. Can’t believe you fell for that. Get it? Colleen asked. Fell for it?

Lying flat on her back under her triumphant mother, Abbie rolled her eyes. Then she tapped out, and with a smile, Colleen released her daughter, stood, then offered Abbie a hand and pulled her up, too. She was smiling broadly, hands lifted in the air triumphantly when she turned to greet Drew. One look at the concern in his expression had her smile fading.

What’s wrong? She asked, hands dropping. 

We’ll talk in the car, Drew said. His eyes swept the room, stalled slightly when he recognized Zack. Both of you need to get your things. Lesson’s over for today. 

Everything okay?

Drew looked over to where Florian now stood, weight braced on his good leg.

A little trouble. Drew met Florian’s eyes, held them until the soldier nodded. We just need to go.

Drew, Colleen said, You’re scaring me. What happened?

He looked away from Florian and let his gaze drop to hers, and he tried to put all the reassurance he could into his expression. Reaching out, his fingers cupped the back of Colleen’s neck briefly while she stared up at him.

Just go grab your stuff.

At her side, Abbie tugged at Colleen’s arm. Come on, mom. 

How long have you been back in town, Zack?

Two steps from the door he’d been heading to, Zack stopped and turned. Who’s asking? The cop? Or the guy who I used to play ball with in high school?

High school was a long time ago, Zack.

Not so long, he said, angry, dark eyes meeting Drew’s blue ones, Or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. He held Drew’s gaze a moment longer, then deliberately turned his back. If the lesson’s over early, I’m done here for now. I’ll see you at four, Flo.

Problem I should know about? Florian asked Drew once Zack had walked out. Drew stared at the spot where Zack had been a moment. Then he turned to face Florian and shrugged.

I don’t know yet. 

Saying nothing else, he followed the same route Zack had taken. When he opened the door, a blast of cold December air slapped him in the face. Still, Drew stood and watched the taillights of Zack’s Jeep disappear out of the gym’s parking lot. He turned towards Colleen and Abbie when the door opened, and Colleen put her hand on the back of his shoulder.

Zack Kilmore?

Yeah, Colleen said, Weird, huh?

Drew grunted, a noise which could have meant pretty much anything. He had his cop face on, but his eyes weren’t quite as inscrutable. They were full of thoughts. None of them, from what Colleen could see as he hustled them over to the car and held the door open, were particularly reassuring. 

You gonna tell us what the big hurry is, dude? Abbie asked from the back seat.

Drew glanced at the girl he had come to appreciate, even love, and hated what he was about to tell her. Still, the relationship he wanted with Abbie was an honest one, and one built on respecting the girl’s ability to handle herself. 

It’s Carlie’s mom. He kept his words simple and direct, kept his eyes on Abbie’s in the rear-view mirror and offered her his strength even as he saw his words hit like a blow. She’s been shot.

Then he pulled the car onto the street, and he hit the siren. 

Chapter Three

The air inside the ruins of the old barn was cold, but at least it was reasonably dry. Ripping his gloves off with his teeth, he blew on his freezing fingers, then rubbed his palms together roughly hoping the friction would bring some warmth. Didn’t do it for him. So, he unzipped the top third of his winter jacket, reached inside, stuck his hands under his armpits, and hugged his arms as close to himself as he could.  

It was far from his first time here, and he wasn’t the only one who visited the decaying building. No, the place might be a pile of kindling just waiting to fall the rest of the way down, but it was also close to town, and was located inside a stand of trees beside a running creek that gave the illusion of privacy. In truth, the place attracted everyone from would-be photographers, to young guys hoping to round the bases with the girls on their arms, to kids looking to drink a couple beers, maybe party a little, to others, like himself, needing their next fix. 

He wasn’t proud. And he knew most wouldn’t understand. She wouldn’t understand. He had no doubt. But, sometimes life was what it was. 

He was still a productive member of society, still showed up for work every day and was well-regarded. Maybe it wasn’t so great for his bank account. That was getting to be a problem, for sure. Still, he wasn’t hurting anybody. 

And he wasn’t an addict. He could quit anytime he chose. He knew that much. 

He was just a guy with a bit of a secret. That was all.

He heard the rustling. It unnerved him a bit, considering the creek behind the barn was frozen and the fields were drenched in snow. Sound had been muffled when he’d walked in here. 

There was no way to know for sure if the sounds he was hearing were made by an animal or by another human. Either could mean danger, but he was fairly certain he could manage any person he might encounter. He was pretty much confident in his ability to talk his way out of basically any situation. And an animal… Well, for the most part he was confident in his ability there, too.

It was a chance he’d just have to take. 

And then the sounds materialized into a form, and the form was the one he recognized, the one he’d been expecting. His skin made a crinkling sound as the corners of his lips turned up in something like a smile. In the darkness, his teeth flashed.

 Knowing logically that it was a ridiculous thought, he nonetheless wondered if the new arrival could hear the thump of his heart. It had started to pound with anticipation. When he caught sight of the baggie he’d come to purchase, his tongue darted out to lick his lips.

Where’s the rest? 

This is all this time.

What? That’s not what we agreed to.

So? That’s what I got. Take it or leave it.

He frowned. Well I’m not paying full price then.

Everyone pays full price. You’re not special, man. 

The dealer held up the baggie and shook it. Yes or no. Decide.

The anger hit him low in the belly, but the need