Platform Begovaya. Book III

By Ka Lip

RUSREAL! It is the Russia at the beginning of the 1990s and 2000s. This is a story about the dashing nineties and the people who lived that time. And this is a work about equestrian sport and its dark side, which is closed for the spectator sitting in the stands during the competitions...
The main line of the novel is unconventional sexual orientation.
This is a drama-novel, quite severe psychologically and emotionally.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ka Lip
• Release date: Aug 21, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463666852

Ka Lip

My books are very different. I write about love. live in [e-mail]

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Platform Begovaya.

Book III. Nazar - the bitterness of victory

Prologue

Moscow. November 2003

The first snow was falling on the streets of the city, mixing with dirt under the feet of passers-by. Rare snowflakes could not clear this city of its dirt with its crystal whiteness. People trampled them without even noticing, mixing them into the gray mass. This city always looks like this on the eve of winter. Although it would be naive to expect that winter would cover it with the white veil, cleansing of grayness. Usually, the snow that fell overnight melted and turned into a mess. And nothing changed - the city again became gray and gloomy, like people hurrying along its streets. They hasted without noticing the grayness of the cold November morning, nor the rare snowflakes from the sky, nor the wet asphalt under their feet. This is the rhythm of life established here - moving forward, and if you stop, they will push you and throw you to the sidelines...

Chapter 1

Alyosha had not been to Moscow for a long time, and what for? Now he lived in Havre's cottage on Rublevka, went to the Equestrian Club every day, twice a week - to his grandmother in a clinic near Moscow, and once a month went to Moscow to pay for his room in a communal apartment.

Since he still didn’t feel very confident while driving, he drove to Moscow only on weekends and early in the morning when there was no heavy traffic, and he could slowly drive on his Mazda, observing all the rules of the road, like the most disciplined driver. He missed a bit of Moscow, his district, where he spent his childhood, and the hippodrome - Petrovich’s stables. Well, only in Moscow he now had nothing to do, no one was waiting for him there. His childhood was over, his apartment was no longer there, but this room in the communal apartment was not his, and he was a stranger here. He couldn’t even go to the stable to Petrovich now. Lyosha understood that he was an outcast, everyone turned away from him, and he was simply thrown out of their life as something unnecessary, superfluous, disturbing them. But he did not condemn Petrovich and anyone at the stable. He even understood him, because the coach had grown up at another time, and then people like him had been considered degenerates, although he considered himself like that. So why condemn an elderly person? On the contrary, Alyoshka was ashamed in front of him. It is a pity that he let his coach down so much that he had become such a person. And now it’s probably unpleasant for Petrovich to constantly hear from others that there was such a guy like him at his stable.

He also did not see Havre after those summer competitions. Havre just used him, and then threw away as unnecessary. However, he regularly paid all the horses and all expenses associated with them. He also handed Alyosha a bank card, on which there was always money. Alyosha used it only for expenses on Havre's horses, and he earned the rest by doing horse rental in the Club. But there were not so many other expenses. The housekeeper regularly fed him at home in the cottage, saying that such was the owner’s order, and if Alyosha didn’t eat, she would be put through the hoop for not following his instructions. Therefore, Lyosha always had breakfasts and suppers. He usually dined at the stable, but these were snacks.

The stable lived a fun life - there were either birthdays, or cakes and sweets given by a rental, or pies baked by horse-holders. Tasting all this, the friendly team drank tea in the staff room. So Alyosha spent money only on paying the room and caring for his grandmother, although Havre paid for all the treatment, and he only brought her flowers, hoping that she could see them or smell them at least.

What was happening in his life now, he did not understand and did not know what to do. He did not understand Havre. Why did he, having kicked him out of his apartment, continue to keep him and at the same time spend such sums of money on him? He called Havre several times, trying to talk with him, but the man answered dryly that he did not consider it necessary to discuss this. And Alyosha continued to live in Havre's house, intuitively feeling that all this would not end in good. But each time, looking for a way out, he realized that with his grandmother in this state he had nowhere to go. He would not be able to provide her with proper care and buy expensive medicines. And he had two horses. Where would he go with all this? Here in such thoughts, the days passed. He understood that he was simply going with the flow, not resisting, not fighting, but expecting what would happen next.

***

On this day in the arena, there were many who wanted to ride a horse. The month of November did not allow engaging in the street, and everyone hustled around indoors. A girl of about fifteen was now riding Zatsep. She regularly came to Alyosha to study. We can say that Lyosha, training her, turned her from a weak rider into a confidently sitting horsewoman in the saddle in a few months. Her mother was always with her in training. Now she was sitting on the podium in the arena and was looking at her child. Alyosha did not like to study with students in the days when there were a lot of people in the arena. Also, Zatsep, although aged and calmed over the years, remained a stallion and perceived the presence of mares beside him ambiguously. He could calmly pass by, but he could start to dance and neigh. This, apparently, depended on his tastes for the opposite sex.

Alyosha saw Kazik riding his new horse into the arena. It was a mare named Valencia, which had recently been brought from Europe for him. Zatsep always reacted very violently to her, perhaps not yet used to the mare. Several times Lyosha asked Kazik not to ride her close to Zatsep, but sometimes it seemed to Alyosha that he specially was going out on his mare at the moment when his students were engaged in riding Zatsep. He constantly found himself in that corner of the arena where they were riding. Maybe, of course, it seemed to Alyosha.

When Kazik appeared in the arena on Valencia, Alyosha nervously looked at his watch. The girl should spend fifteen minutes with him yet. He continued training, observing Kazik from the corner of his eye. At some point, distracted from Kazik and then turning his head, Alyoshka froze in horror. Valencia literally walked past Zatsep's nose. He neighed and reared. The girl, like a sack with potatoes, flopped down from him on the sand of the arena. Zatsep, sensing freedom, rushed to Valencia. The people in the arena jumped from their horses and quickly retreated until Zatsep saw them. Valencia, turning back to the running stallion, beat him off with two legs. Lyosha saw Zyama after that was limping to the front foot - it was clear that Valencia nevertheless hit him. After the noise, the din and the horse-holders running into the arena, Zatsep was caught, but it was obvious that the girl would not sit on him. She was scared, and Zatsep was limping, leaving no chance that somebody could ride him.

Lyosha was lucky that the girl’s mother was a very adequate person and did not blame him for anything, she did not even demand money for her disrupted lesson. Mom and daughter, having thanked him culturally for the training, left, and Alyosha realized that they would not return to his classes after what had happened. However, it was hardly worth being upset about this. Anyway, judging by Zatsep's injury, the next month it would not be able to work at the rental, and maybe not a month.

Lyosha led his horse into a stall, unsaddled it, and went to the infirmary for a veterinarian.

After examining Zatsep’s leg, the forecast was disappointing: not to overburden at least a month, and after that it depended. That was, first not to let the horse out of the stall, then to lead a horse up in hand every day. After a month - it would be an examination and decision-making on treatment, plus ointments for the legs, injections of vitamins, and additional nutrition for the joints. Having paid for all this, Alyosha wandered into the staff room.

There was the whole company, people were having tea.

What about the horse? asked several people at once when he entered the room. Alyosha briefly retold what the veterinarian had told him.

There was no need to put an inexperienced rider on a stallion, Kazik said, drinking tea and looking at Alyoshka.

Why did you come close to him, you knew ...

What did I know? It is you who must know that a weak rider should not mount stallions. And I've exercised a horse ...

What? Was there not enough space? You violated safety precautions. On a mare, riders do not approach stallions! Lyosha saw a mickey in the eyes of Kazik and heard his mocking tone.

Hey, you're threatening us in our area! What the hell, you get to tell me where to ride a horse, and where not.

Why have you done that?

What are you blaming me for? Or do you think you are such a cool one? Well, you are not needed to your Havre for a long time, so you should be silent. Anyway, you’ll get the kick out of here soon.

Alyoshka blushed, then turned pale, and, feeling the looks of all those present on himself, ran out of the room.

You are bastard, Kazik, Nina stated.

Of course, otherwise I would not have survived if I had been as this Lyokha with Down syndrome. Havre abandoned him a long time ago, but he still hopes and believes.

He also left you quickly, Katya quipped.

"Hey, do you know how many people I have like Havre? I don't fret. One threw, another found.

Then the conversation turned to the discussion of Kazik boyfriends, but they forgot about Lyosha.

***

Having reached the stall, Alyosha stopped and rubbed his eyes. He did not want anyone to see his tears. However, it was so difficult to restrain them. His source of income was completely blocked. Of course, he also had two horses of other people in his work, for which private owners paid him, and another equestrian whom he trained on the boy's horse. But when you have your horse for training, it is much better than depending on the desire of private owners. Today they need their horses to be trained, and tomorrow they can change their mind, this happens regularly.

Lyosha raised his eyes and, seeing that he was standing in front of Walchensee, went into its stall.

Valyusha, my dear, dear ... he hugged the horse by the neck and pressed himself against it, We will wait for your master. Be sure we'll live to see. Do you know how I miss him? Lyosha pulled away and looked into the horse's eyes. You miss too. It’s bad for us without him ...

Alyoshka decided to saddle Walchensee and ride it in the field. It is good when the stable is located outside the city. From there one could go to the fields behind the fence of the Equestrian Club. And he directed his horse there. He rode along the path, passed a small copse, and in front of it, there was a field, a huge Russian field, already covered with a coating of snow, covering the dry grass with its whiteness. This field, like all fields around, was not processed. On it, in some places, trees had already grown, which in a few years would turn into a forest. There were Shrubs, weeds, and stale grass, crushed by snow - that was all Alyosha saw in front of him. Probably, it was used to grow wheat or grass for cows. Lyosha did not know this. But he imagined how it was before, seeing in the distance the carcass of a dilapidated barn, the walls from the hay storage with a failed roof, and the ruins of buildings.

All this once lived, there were people. They worked here on this earth, lived, made plans, dreamed, and raised children. Then perestroika came, and nobody needed their work. Everything that they loved and cherished depreciated and lost its essence. Their aspirations, hopes, aspirations - all this was no longer important. Only money became important. Probably, these people also fought, they wanted to preserve what was dear to them, to preserve it in order to pass it on to their children. But they were just people, and gradually the village began to die, buildings collapsed, and fields overgrew with weed. In an instant, everything that was right and true turned out to be destroyed and replaced with a fake. Well, only nothing could be returned. People, disappointed in life, left, trying to survive in an unfamiliar new world for them. They were even able to accept the values of this world, its foundation, its essence. People realized that money was the main thing, and everything else ... was it really important? The main thing is to betray yourself once, to step over, and then you can live. It’s easy to live, becoming like everyone else - by selling yourself and accepting the values of a new life...

Alyoshka never thought so deeply about what was happening in life. Perhaps the nature around him disposed him to philosophical thoughts, or his very life, where he, like everyone else, was able to step over himself and live for money. But was it true? He became a kept man for Havre, a man who had been mocking him all this time, but he only suffered and was silent. So, he was just like everyone else, just broke down and accepted a new world with its orders and values.

Fresh November air was intoxicating and besotting. How Alyoshka loved everything around him. A boy was born and raised in a city, where did this feeling come from? This love for the Russian field, powdered with the first snow, for a cloudy November day, through which clouds shreds of blue sky are visible, for the air, for the entrancing air of freedom. Yes, he loved Russia and it didn’t matter all this - what was happening in this country and what life was doing with him. All this was not important. All this was just a brief moment of life that would pass, and no one would remember it through the ages ... And they would remember this land on which people lived, loved, suffered, fought, about the land that had never submitted to anyone, and about people whom no one had ever been able to conquer.

Feeling a steed under him, which, intoxicated by this air, was dancing under him, no longer able to restrain freedom tearing out of him, Alyosha loosed the rein, resting it on the horse’s neck, and spread his arms as if they were wings.

The horse sucked in air through its nostrils, and they rushed forward. The horseman and the steed merged, rushed through space and time, contrary to everything, contrary to fate.

Lyosha felt streams of air, from which eyes were tearful and he caught the breath, his spread hands hugged this world. And he smiled, flying above the ground and feeling the wings behind...

When the field was over, the horse itself slowed to a trot, and then to a step. Walchensee breathed heavily but was happy with the brief moment of freedom that Alyosha gave him. And Lyosha was happy. Today and now he felt this happiness with every cell of his body; he absorbed this happiness into himself, just like the air of freedom.

Then they walked back towards the stable. Lyosha again loosed the rein, knowing that the steed would not run anywhere. He, like his rider, contemplated nature and thought about something...

Alyosha also thought that he loved this land. He loved his homeland, his country. No matter what. After all, every bad thing that happened in his life was not important - it didn’t matter, everything would be forgotten, but only this would remain eternal and unchanging: late autumn, a gray sky above his head, a field covered with snow, and ravishing air. This was his homeland.

***

Having finished this day, Alyosha, thinking about himself, his life, and the future, returned home. The housekeeper told him, that Gavriil Vladimirovich asked to be informed, there would be guests in the cottage this Saturday, and he was also invited to this event, so Gavriil Vladimirovich asked Alyosha not to stay at the stable and arrive early.

Lyosha was surprised at what he had heard. At first, Havre disappeared for several months, and then called the guests and even wanted him to be there. A bad foreboding slipped into Alyosha’s consciousness. He cringed and drove away bad thoughts from himself.

***

Nazar raised his eyes to the gloomy autumn sky above his head. All day today, cold rain drizzled. It, as a harbinger of winter, washed away the last colors of autumn from trees and painted everything around in a dank haze. Soon this rain would change to the first snowflakes and cold, with gusts of prickly wind. But now Nazar did not notice either drizzling rain or the coolness of autumn. His thoughts were far from here, he recalled his childhood near Smolensk in the village. How then he felt good and what it meant to be free. Only here, being behind bars, he did feel the whole depth of this feeling, a feeling of freedom. That time he also appreciated the freedom, when he had been running through the fields all summer, had swum in the river and had grazed horses. But only then he exchanged freedom for Moscow, the passion of moving toward a goal and the self-deception that money and power give this freedom. How wrong he had been. Now he had money, a lot of money, and he had power, but what was the use of it? He was behind bars and all his freedom lay in the fact that he could see only a piece of this sky above his head.

But the worst thing was not even that he was in prison now, but what would happen next. After all, he understood that coming out of prison, he would not be free. Now he no longer belonged to himself: he, so eager to occupy his niche in this world and walking along corpses to it, had now found his place. He was in authority, behind him there were people who supported him and would continue to support him, both here and on the outside. His position in the criminal world had acquired a different status, which gave him power, but that was just not freedom. Now he had to live to the end of his days according to the laws of their world, observing them himself and making sure that others abide by them, and if anyone deviated from these laws - to punish by death. And all this applied to him, and the demand from him was a hundred times greater than from the usual bandit. Now he was an authority, and this was like a cross that a person carried on himself till the grave. That was why Nazar remembered himself when he had been twelve years old, how happy, free he had been. How then, riding a horse, he used to rush on it through the fields, spreading his arms like wings, as if he wanted to hug this world. He recalled this grass, sky, coppice, and flowers at the side of the road. He always loved the land where he had been born. This land was his homeland and no matter what people did to it. It didn’t even matter what these people became now, after betraying their land and ceasing to be people in their quest to make money. Perhaps he had become like everyone else, although no, it was not. In his soul the memory of a happy corner of the earth remained forever where his childhood had been left, and where for the first time he felt what love for the Motherland was, looking at the sunset and hearing the chirping of grasshoppers in the grass.

The words of a forgotten song arose in his head:

"Only, soul, you are a captive of a harsh life,

Out of me, as if from a dungeon, you look down ... "*

These words hurt: what he hid in himself again surfaced from the depths of his memory, causing dull pain in his heart: The soul hurts, and the heart cries, and the earthly journey is still dusting ... *. Next, he did not allow himself to remember.

"Why did you betray me, my boy ...