Hula Pigs

By TJ Davis

Dead bodies start appearing at the mailbox of Caroline and Fergus Atkins, two pig farmers in Iowa.

• Language: English
• Publisher: TJ Davis
• Release date: Aug 10, 2020
• ISBN: 9798673460627

TJ Davis

TJ Davis is an international teacher from Minnesota. His published writing includes five collections of short stories, two novellas, and a travel memoir about his three years living in Myanmar. His short story “Itchy” finished in the top 16 of the Discovery Channel’s “How Stuff Works Halloween Fiction Contest.” His works have also been included in the Chicago Center of Literature and Photography and Moloko House. He currently lives in Sofia, Bulgaria.

Book preview

Hula Pigs

by

TJ Davis

Other titles by TJ Davis

Ajuma

Bird Hours

Elements

Fibs

Kissing for Service

The Last Drop

Senseless

Sir Quirkles

Watching the Defectives

Hula Pigs

by TJ Davis

Copyright © 2020 TJ Davis

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved.

Dedication

This play is dedicated to Charlie and Gerrit. Both made me see plays in new, fascinating lights.

Characters

Caroline Atkins, mid-fifties, pig farmer, Fergus’s wife

Fergus Atkins, mid-fifties, pig farmer, Caroline’s husband

Myles, forties, a banker

Calvin, thirties, a PETA volunteer

Aileen, thirties, a reporter

General Sow, a pig

Various tourists

Setting

The play is set from fall 2019 to spring 2020 in Amber, Iowa in Jones County.

Act One, Scene One

[Morning light. The center of the stage is bisected by the front wall of a one-story farmhouse. At the end of stage right, a mailbox stands surrounded by shrubs about two feet high. Two steps lead up to the slightly elevated house, where only the living room can be seen. Inside are two worn chairs, facing the audience. Between the chairs is a wooden end-table with two coasters, a clicker, and a small stack of newspapers underneath. The kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom are unseen stage left. Behind the two chairs are a pair of windows. In the background, center, a dead tree has about twenty hula hoops draped over its bare branches. A fence of thin posts separates Fergus and Caroline’s yard from the hula hoop tree.]

[General Sow enters stage right and walks across the stage. A pair of tourists enters stage right behind the fence, take a selfie in front of the tree, and exit stage right, laughing and looking at the picture. Fergus enters the living room from stage left, opens the screen door, and puts on a pair of dirty boots while sitting on the front steps. He starts walking around the house but pauses when his eyes cross the mailbox. He walks toward it, scratching himself sleepily. The sound of flies buzzing. He waves his hand over his face to shoo them away. He leans over the shrubs, inspecting. He puts on a pair of work gloves and picks up a dead cat.]

Fergus, Caroline?

Caroline, [offstage] Yeah?

Fergus, There’s another one.

[Caroline enters the living room wearing pajama pants and one of Fergus’s flannel shirts. She opens the screen door but doesn’t step outside.]

Caroline, What is it?

Fergus, A cat.

Caroline, Ugh. You want to bury it?

Fergus, Not really. You?

Caroline, No. You want me to cook it for your lunch later?

Fergus, What? Jesus, Caroline. What’s wrong with you?

Caroline, Nothing. Meat’s meat. I was thinking about what that young man said last week.

Fergus, Oh yeah? What else did Mr. PETA say? That brave boy who waited until I was away before he came and gave you his