No God's Land: Chaos Chosen Chronicles, #1

By L. R. Llewellyn

Thirty years ago, a supernatural apocalypse rendered the world nearly unrecognizable. Incomprehensible beings called Horrors devoured everything they could touch. Gods - originally called to be saviors - tore up bits of reality, sealing it away in their realms, where Humans are allowed to live, but at a price. Absolute loyalty and blind obedience in exchange for safety. 

Today, those who refuse to bend knee to a God live in what's left of the world; a bleak, harsh wasteland known as No God's Land. It is rife with Horrors and Monsters, but as long as one stays near civilization there is at least a chance of safety. 

Kitty doesn't like staying near civilization. She is one of the few citizens of No God's Land brave - or stupid - enough to venture away from the protection of mankind. She's grown up in No God's Land, and what so many others find terrifying she sees only as challenging adventures. 

But even Kitty begins to suspect she's bitten off more than she can chew when an impulsive trip to a God realm gets her involved with a boy named Tyre - a new prophet who seems to have a target on his back. On top of that, Cerberus - guardian of the Greek pantheon's land of death - has appeared, looking for help in recovering Hades from a magical prison before the slowly escaping dead souls can take over the land. 

Hunted by Gods even as they go in search of one, Kitty and her new companions head into the heart of the unforgiving landscape of No God's Land. Kitty is beginning to think she might actually be in over her head for the first time in her life, and that had better be a good thing - it's already too late to be turning back.

• Language: English
• Publisher: L. R. Llewellyn
• Release date: Jul 9, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393544296

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

IF ANYONE ASKED, KITTY was fully prepared to swear up, down, sideways, backwards, and a few directions unknown to mortal men that she’d had no idea she had wandered into Poseidon’s realm. She would never do something so incredibly dangerous and impulsive.

She didn‘t expect anyone to believe her about that, but she would swear it anyway. It would have been painfully obvious to anyone with eyes that this was the domain of a sea God, but that was of little concern to her. She’d just wanted to get out of No God’s Land for a while, see if there was something more exciting to be found elsewhere. Poseidon - while reportedly being a major fuckweasel - supposedly had one hell of a realm.

And he’d happened to be the nearest God when she’d decided to play tourist, which was the more important thing.

Kitty splashed into a large puddle that had pooled up between some rocks. Water jumped up the sides of her boots and darkened the bottom of her dress. Water drops caught the light and shimmered as they fell back to the sand, darkening it from nearly white to a brownish-gray. Kitty grinned at the sight. The water in No God’s Land didn’t shine like that; it was too filthy and the light was too gray. The water that was clean enough to pull off the sparkle was too precious to be thrown around just for the aesthetic, and the cracks in the concrete quickly sucked away any spare drops anyway. Which was a shame because the sparkles were pretty. There weren’t enough pretty things in No God’s Land, as far as Kitty was concerned.

Kitty splashed a few more times, then left the puddle behind and, using her walking stick for extra leverage, hopped her way up to the top of one of the largest barnacle encrusted rocks so she could survey the terrain.

Poseidon’s land, as far as the eye could see, was nothing but water, sand, and some wet, sandy boulders. There was no sign of the castle that supposedly existed under the waves, made out of sunken ships and their long-abandoned treasures. That was disappointing. Rumor had it that Poseidon blessed the most loyal and useful of his followers with the ability to breathe underwater. These followers relayed his messages to the rest without Poseidon having to stoop so low as to go on land himself. Kitty had heard that his lesser followers lived in small villages that clung to the shore like the barnacles on the rocks, fishing and praying and hoping to gain the God’s attention someday. Kitty had never met a follower of Poseidon to ask if any of that was true, but she hoped it was, and that she would meet someone who could tell her what the underwater world looked like. Or, better yet, someone who would take her to see it for herself. She might venture close enough to look into it today, but she might also come to her senses and leave before she got herself into trouble. Anything was possible.

Of course, there were other rumors that said he ‘blessed’ his favorite servants with the ability to only breathe underwater, so they could never escape him. If that was true, and Kitty ever got to see Poseidon’s castle of detritus, she would probably kick all the walls down and drown herself just to cause him some trouble.

The place had as nice a view as people said though, even if Kitty didn’t much care for walking across the sand, which slid under foot and exhausted her faster than walking ought to have. She hadn’t even been here an hour and her limp, usually barely noticeable, had already worsened. The dark blue sky seemed to ripple like the waves beneath it and was brightly lit despite having no apparent sun. The lightning strikes that kept cracking overhead were a little distracting, but they added variety to the view, and a sense of potential danger. Kitty guessed, from what she knew of Poseidon and his pantheon, that they were being thrown by Zeus, aimed at Poseidon’s castle, though how Zeus expected to hit anything important when the castle was so far underwater she couldn’t guess. That was Gods for you.

Kitty stood on the rock for a while, eyes closed so she could fully enjoy the smell of the sea, the taste of salt on the breeze, the distant sound of waves crashing against the shore, and the way the wind made her dress billow around her, shaking some of the sand out of the lace and frills.

And then she heard someone cry out in pain and terror.

Kitty’s eyes snapped open.

A sensible person knew better than to respond to screams like that. They were common in No God’s Land and running towards the sound was useless more often than not. Whoever had screamed was usually dead by the time you reached them, and then you were the next target for whatever had killed them.

But Kitty was rarely accused of being sensible, and she was curious about the person who belonged to this particular scream. No one should have been this close to the border between Poseidon’s realm and No God’s Land, nothing terribly threatening should have been lurking around the realm of a God, and she had had nothing resembling a decent fight for almost two weeks. So she went to investigate.

She scrambled up and down a few more lines of rock, boots skidding where they were wet, until she climbed up one at least twice as tall as herself and looked down from it to see the great, bearded, barnacle covered, water fucker himself.

A flash of lightning brightened the sky above them for a moment, throwing everyone into a strange light for a beat of Kitty’s heart, and then it vanished into the water. Kitty thought someone ought to send a message to Zeus and tell him his brother had stepped out of the house, so his lightning bolts were even more useless than usual.

Poseidon and his entourage had a teenage boy backed up against the rocks. A blind teenage boy, if his white and scarred eyes were anything to go by. Kitty didn’t know where he’d started running from, but as close to the No God’s Land border as they were, he must have eluded his pursuers for an impressive distance. Even the closest residence was likely at least a twenty-four-hour trip on foot. People who lived in God realms liked to keep well away from everything else.

Did you really think you could escape from us? one of Poseidon’s missionary soldiers snarled. Poseidon himself reached out, grabbed the boy by his throat, and pinned him against the rock, high up enough to be at Poseidon’s eye level. The boy cried out again, and Kitty couldn’t tell if the scream was born more of fear or of pain. He kicked out at Poseidon but it was a useless show of defiance; his foot glanced off a too-solid torso as though he hadn’t even made contact. It took more than a shiny pair of green galoshes to hurt a God. Kitty could respect the attempt though.

Running was pointless, Poseidon said, his voice deeper than it felt like it ought to be, seeming to echo off of walls that weren’t there. It was as loud as a building collapsing, but somehow softer, gentler. You never had a chance.

From her vantage point above them, Kitty scoffed. Not so pointless, if the boy had gotten this far. If he’d had a little more luck, or Poseidon a little less, he would have made it to the safety of No God’s Land.

Or the relative safety, at least. Beggars, Kitty knew, could not be choosers.

Poseidon had heard her scoff. Still holding the boy to the rocks - the kid’s feet weren’t even touching the ground as he struggled vainly against the hold around his neck - the God looked up at her. She looked back.

Poseidon had not bothered with a glamour that allowed him to pass for Human for this chase. He was tall, and muscular in a lean and slender sort of way. Kitty guessed her own shoulders were probably broader than his, or at least pretty close. He was mostly humanoid, with a long gray-green beard that was more seaweed than hair, and an apparent dislike of shirts. His abs, which he had too many of, were on full display. His skin appeared to be made of scales that shimmered iridescently in the light, with fins along his back, arms, and legs, and gills over his ribcage. There were webs between his fingers and water was quickly welling up through the sand around his feet, bubbling up as high as his knees. Kitty couldn’t tell if his toes were webbed too, but she was willing to bet they were.

Feeling the staring contest had gone on plenty long enough, and having nothing else to do, Kitty stuck her tongue out at him.

Much to Kitty’s amusement, the small, petty action pissed him off. He dropped the boy, who crumpled into a heap on the sand with a startled yelp, and the water beneath Poseidon’s feet began to bubble more ferociously. It created a tower that lifted him into the air until he had raised himself to be a head higher than Kitty was.

If he thought that would intimidate her he was doomed to be sorely disappointed. Kitty was well used to having to crane her neck to look people in the eye. She’d have been at least two heads under him even if they’d been standing on even ground.

You are not one of my followers, Human.

No shit.

Poseidon cared for that show of disrespect even less than he had cared for the scoff or the tongue. Or perhaps it was a ‘three strikes, you’re out’ type of situation. He reached out for her, presumably to throw her down to join the boy.

Kitty had no intention of being thrown anywhere. She centered her weight, lifted her walking stick - which was really more of a quarterstaff that had a more pedestrian function - and dealt him a blow across the face.

Confident that a Human could do him no harm, Poseidon made no attempt to dodge or block the attack, or even brace for impact, so it was of no surprise to Kitty when the hit knocked him off his pillar of water and sent him ass over teakettle, sprawling out in the sand a few yards and a cluster of rocks away. His water pillar collapsed, dousing the missionaries down on the ground. They cried out in shock and dismay.

Kitty grinned after Poseidon for a moment, then jumped down to land in the sand beside the boy, catching as much weight on her staff and good leg as she could. The now-wet sand squelched underfoot. Kitty grabbed the boy’s wrist and hauled them both upright. Poseidon’s soaked missionaries made no move to catch her. Poseidon’s tumble had startled them, and now they were unsure of what the God expected them to do next. Most of them had turned towards where their leader had fallen, stricken expressions on their faces. 

I’m Kitty, Kitty told the boy as she kept an eye on the missionaries. What’s your name?

I’m - uh, I’m T-Tyre, he stammered out.

Nice to meet you, Tyre. Now, I doubt Poseidon’s going to let me get the drop on him like that twice, and a full on fight with a God in his own territory is a bit much, even for me, so we should run. She adjusted the angle of her grip on his wrist and started running, hauling him along with her. She shoved past the smallest missionary and he stumbled away, catching himself and crying Stop! after them in a weak, uncommanding voice.

Neither of them stopped.

In No God’s Land, Kitty could run decently well when the need arose. Here, however, the ground was uneven and shifted whenever she put weight on it. Her staff wasn’t of much help; it sank into the sand too. The rocks would have been a better bet, being closer to the sort of terrain her leg brace was designed to help her with, but she’d made the impulsive decision to bring Poseidon’s would-be victim along with her, and blindness was not conducive to fast rock climbing.

And they needed to be fast. Poseidon had gotten to his feet and let out an angry, ocean-shuddering roar to indicate his intent to pursue them. The sky changed to a darker, grayer blue and seemed to swirl above them. Kitty could feel water in the air.

They needed to reach No God’s Land before Poseidon reached them. Kitty doubted the God would deign to go somewhere so far beneath his status, and even if he did, he would be far less threatening outside of his realm. They might even have the good fortune to have his power draw the attention of something else, something big, something that could slow him down long enough for them to get away.

But all of those ‘probablys’ hinged on them being able to beat him to the border, and Kitty was less than confident in their ability to do so. She was starting to think the better option really would be to just turn around and challenge the God to good old hand-to-hand combat. At least then she would die with dignity, and maybe leave a couple of marks behind.

Tyre yanked Kitty to one side without warning, nearly sending her sprawling when her left leg objected to being ordered to find its footing in the sand. A spear of water shot past them, piercing the air where they had just been. It splattered apart harmlessly against the sand a few feet ahead of them. Kitty balanced herself on Tyre, and then they were running again.

Cool trick! she called to him. Want to tell me how you did it?

He smiled at the praise. Can we w-w-wait until he’s n-not h-hounding us? he called back.

I’m interpreting that as a promise, just so you know! She led them over some rocks and a few more puddles. Tyre yelped in surprise when the cold water sloshed over the tops of his boots, soaking his feet, but he didn’t slow down.

We w-won’t beat him to N-No God’s Land on foot, Tyre said suddenly.

Don’t be so pessimistic, Kitty said, despite thinking he was probably right. She glanced over her shoulder and reminded herself that if worse came to worst she would at least get to go out against a hell of an enemy. There was always a bright side.

It’s not ab-b-bout pessimism, it’s th-th-that- He broke off and frowned. We n-n-need to- Follow me.

Kitty frowned. She didn’t care for following the orders of people she didn’t know, especially during survival situations, but she remembered the near miss with the spear and allowed the boy to pull her ahead and a few feet to the right - where he stopped.

... Are we just going to stand here? Kitty asked after allowing Tyre a few seconds to explain, which he didn’t take advantage of.

Y-Yes?

"You don’t sound so sure about that. We aren’t still running because why, exactly? And if it’s because you’ve decided that death is inevitable and you’ve given up, I’m going to knock you out and leave you here for them to do as they like." She was looking back at Poseidon and his missionaries, who seemed to be growing larger as they swept towards them. Waves were building around Poseidon, washing up as high as his shoulders. The water seemed as angry as the people.

This is how w-w-we escape P-Poseidon.

"I don’t know how things work where you’re from, but in my experience it’s usually more effective to move away-"

And then something enormous fell on top of them.

Whatever it was did an amazing job of not squashing them flat despite its size and, after a moment, it hauled itself to its feet, just in time to be hit by a massive wave that had been intended to knock Kitty and Tyre to the ground. Kitty grabbed Tyre again and braced them both against one of the thing’s four legs. It staggered against the water, but it didn’t fall. The wave hadn’t been meant to go up against something so big and solid.

Above them, the thing growled. Their heads were just below its stomach and Kitty could see - in vicious, disgusting detail - its muscles tensing. Tyre could feel the vibrations as the growl rattled through the creature’s ribs. He reached out a hand to touch it, presumably to try to figure out what it was. Kitty snatched his wrist and pulled him away. "You really don’t want to do that."

In this instance, Kitty thought Tyre was lucky to be blind. She had a good view of the underside of the thing, and even she found it fairly horrifying. Although the initial disgust was quickly replaced by morbid delight.

Poseidon shouted something neither Kitty nor Tyre could hear over the sound of water and the growling of the creature guarding them.

The thing made a loud noise as though it were shouting back, and then it spun so it was facing them instead of standing over them. It moved oddly gracefully in spite of its bulk.

It was a massive, two-headed dog. Or, well. It was vaguely dogish. One half appeared to be made entirely of fur and skin that didn’t fit; the other half only of raw, uncovered muscle. Down the middle there was a strip that was nothing but bone, pure white and gleaming in the stormy sea light. The thing’s natural eye level was easily over seven feet tall.

If you wish to live, get on my back and I will save you. But you will owe me a favor. Both heads spoke at once, but not perfectly in sync; the head with fur followed a beat behind its partner, making the words echo and seem louder than they had actually been.

Tyre moved towards the voices without seeming to think about it, but Kitty was still holding his wrist and pulled him back to her side. I don’t like to make deals without knowing all the terms, she told the dog. Got you into all sorts of trouble, doing that. Especially with... She didn’t finish because she didn’t know what to call the thing. Instead, she just gestured broadly towards it.

It’s that or death, the two heads said.

Poseidon was almost upon them and readying another spear. He only hadn’t caught them yet because the sudden appearance of the dog had surprised him into stopping for a minute. He was over that now, and he looked even angrier than he had before.

There likely wasn’t time for a full layout of whatever contract the dog was after. Fine, Kitty said, but if I regret this, I’ll skin the half of you that can still be skinned, and I’ll eat the rest.

Neither of the dog’s heads seemed perturbed by the threat, and they - it had to be a ‘they’, it had two brains - laid down to make it easier for them to get up on their back. Kitty helped Tyre up first, hopped on behind him, and then the dog was off and running. Poseidon yelled in rage and threw his spear, but Kitty had been expecting him to do just that. She spun her staff as the spear sped through the air towards them, and the weapon shattered into harmless water drops against it. The God immediately gave chase again, but the dog was faster, and they were out-pacing Poseidon with ease.

The dog’s back was not a pleasant or stable place to be. Their entire spine was exposed, and therefore not very comfortable to sit on. The muscley side of the beast rippled too much to allow one to sit on it and not be shaken off and, to Kitty at least, it looked a little too gory for someone to want to try. It also appeared to be bleeding slightly from just about everywhere on that half of its body.

The furry side was both more pleasant to look at and more comfortable to touch than the rest, but it gave under any sort of pressure, giving weight to Kitty’s theory that magic supported this section instead of flesh or bone. It also meant they would slide right off if they tried to sit there.

Since it had to support two necks, and had a middle section that seemed entirely too large, the dog’s back was too broad for them to put their legs properly down on both sides as though they were riding a horse, especially since both of them were short. So Kitty and Tyre braced themselves between the vertebrae of the spine as best they could and rode sort of side-saddle, legs dangling down over the fur side, and hoped the dog wouldn’t make any sharp turns.

Once she was confident she wouldn’t fall, Kitty twisted back around to watch behind them. Poseidon and his people were still coming, though the distance between them was substantially greater now.

Poseidon raised one scaly hand, and a wave rose from his feet and raced ahead, getting taller and wider as it went.

Kitty opened her mouth to warn the others, but Tyre beat her to it. We’re a-about to g-get wet.

How are you doing that?

"Wh-why do you th-think he’s trying to k-k-k-kill me?"

The wave crashed over them, but they’d all braced themselves at the warning, so nobody fell. The dog growled, and shook the water from both heads, but their steps didn’t falter.

I don’t know what makes Gods want to kill people, Kitty said. I sort of figured he’d just decided it had been a while, and he’d best reach his quota.

Tyre giggled. N-no. Well, maybe. But m-m-mostly Gods just d-don’t like p-prophets, ap-pparently.

"Ah, psychic boy. Never met one of them before."

Well, you now h-h-have, I guess. It’s s-sort of... new.

"Neat."

CHAPTER TWO

THE BORDER INTO NO God’s Land didn’t so much come into view as it suddenly was in view. Where one could have sworn there had just been more beaches and water and rocks, there was now nothing but a hard line of black, unyielding ground, and a far-off mountain range looming on the horizon.

The dog leapt the remaining distance, through the border, and landed heavily on the other side. They spun as soon as the sky above them was gray instead of blue - Kitty looked up and it was only gray, as though the sky of Poseidon’s realm had never existed at all - and bared both sets of teeth at Poseidon, daring him to take the fight out of his realm and into No God’s Land.

Poseidon glared at them, rage pouring off every line of his body, from the tight edge of his shoulders to his clenched fists. Kitty stuck her tongue out again. The water around the God frothed and boiled, but it couldn’t cross the border without its master.

And Poseidon wasn’t stupid enough to enter No God’s Land with only a handful of Human missionaries for backup. He turned away in a harsh, jerky movement, his missionaries following behind. Kitty thought they looked a bit relieved about not having to fight whatever the sort-of-a-dog thing was.

The air rippled and Poseidon, his missionaries, and his realm all began to blur together, like paint running down a canvas. And then, between one blink and the next, there was only the sight of No God’s Land in front of them. Even knowing the entrance to the realm was there Kitty had to squint to see the faint shimmer of blue that gleamed in one of the cracks in the concrete; the only indication that the entry was there.

He’ll most likely send soldiers to hunt you down, the two heads said, but it will take him time to decide who’s both skilled and expendable enough. Now, get off.

Tyre and Kitty obeyed, and the dog shook off the remaining water and sand. The bones of their tail clattered against each other.

Alright, mutt, Kitty said. What do you want?

Both heads turned towards her. If dog faces were capable of it, they would have glared.

What exactly r-r-rescued us? Tyre asked.

A two-headed dog having an anatomy crisis, Kitty told him.

Both heads growled.

Did you know they were going to show up? Kitty asked Tyre, ignoring the dog.

My... p-prophecy, I g-g-guess? It s-said our b-best odds of survival were to stand there.

"You should have a word with your power about how it’s very uncomfortable to have a giant dog land on you, and next time it should direct you to stand to the side of where it’s going to fall."

I’ll... w-work on it?

Kitty nodded. See that you do.

The dog - dogs? - huffed, displeased with being ignored. Which of you is Kitty?

Me. How do you know my name? And why do you care? And why did you fall out of the sky like that? Is that how you always travel?

The dog ignored her - she suspected as a form of petty revenge for her being rude to them - and directed their attentions at Tyre. And did I hear you say you’re a prophet?

Tyre swallowed and took a step backwards. Y-yes?

"That could prove immensely useful. You should come along as well."

Come along wh-where?

"I think they’re going to fill us in on this favor they want. I’m warning you, mutts, I’m not a team player. And I wasn’t kidding about that skinning and eating thing."

I need your help to rescue my master.

Kitty hadn’t had a theory about what the dogs might want, but that surprised her enough to make her laugh. Aww. That’s kinda sweet. You’re just a couple of little lost puppies?

"I am not a puppy. Nor am I lost."

If that helps you sleep at night, Kotanoobüts, you just go right on telling yourself that.

I don’t know what you just called me, but it was not my name.

"Wh-what i-is your name?" Tyre asked politely.

The dog straightened and puffed out their chest proudly. Cerberus. The guardian of the Olympians’ afterlife.

Kitty raised an eyebrow as Tyre looked confused. Now, I don’t claim to be an expert or nothing, she said, but I’m pretty damn sure you’ve got one head too few to be Cerberus.

The dog deflated a bit. Had it been Human, it probably would have flushed with embarrassment. The third head was... lost. In the search for my master.

The search you want us to help you with?

A mortal is required to rescue him, or at least to help me continue the search. That is why I have come searching for you.

"Why me? And how did you find me?"

We require someone capable of killing Horrors. Those are few and far between, and those that exist are largely devoted to protecting their cities, and would be reluctant to help a God. You, we have heard, are far more willing to embark on unusual quests, and to deal with Gods if the situation arises.

Kitty perked up. You’ve heard of me? Which stories? Were they good ones?

Kotanoobüts huffed, but otherwise pretended they hadn’t heard. I was able to find the Horror who bestowed your quarterstaff upon you, and it transported me to you.

That made sense, Kitty supposed, though Kotanoobüts was lucky Fawnemhi - the Horror in question - hadn’t dropped them into an ocean somewhere to get them out of its metaphorical hair. Horrors - the constantly shifting, brain-breaking creatures that roamed No God’s Land and kept the Gods from leaving their realms - weren’t known for being helpful. Not even Fawnemhi, who was a far gentler Horror than most. And your master would be Hades then?

Yes.

You w-w-w-want us to rescue the G-G-God of death? Tyre asked, his voice squeaking.

"A God of death, Kitty corrected. Pretty much every pantheon has one. Some have several. They’re not that special. And what even endangers a God of death? And why would we want to rescue him from it? Tyre is clearly having a bad time of it with Gods, and while I’m not as against them as some I’m not exactly what you would call pious."

He is the God of the afterlife, not of death, Kotanoobüts said, sounding irritated. And we are asking you to rescue him, not worship him.

"And why would I do that? And if you say because it’s the right thing to do or some moral bullshit like that you’re going to get the same hit Poseidon did." She twirled her walking stick to emphasize her point.

So you d-d-did hit him! Tyre said excitedly before Kotanoobüts could respond. "It s-s-sounded like you did, but I c-couldn’t... H-how did you do it? He’s a God."

Kitty grinned and preened. Tyre couldn’t see it, but she held up her walking stick all the same. Quarterstaff Fawnemhi gave me. It’s imbued with the Void, or the weight of it, or something like that, so I can kill any Horrors that try to absorb me. Works pretty good on Gods too, looks like. She’d never put that theory to the test before today, but she’d been reasonably sure it would get the job done.

Kotanoobüts made a noise that Kitty supposed was their version of clearing their throats to get someone’s attention. Will the two of you come along with me to offer your assistance in this matter, or am I going to have to herd you all the way there?

You really want to start a fight, Kotanoobüts? Kitty asked in a low voice, lifting her quarterstaff slowly. Both sets of canine ears twitched.

Why are you c-calling him th-that? Tyre asked. He told us his n-name is Cerberus.

I like Kotanoobüts better. And it’s prophetic, so you should appreciate it.

Prophetic? Kotanoobüts repeated. What does an absurd word like Kotanoobüts have to do with any of our futures?

Kitty grinned, feral. She pointed at the furry head. Coat. She pointed at the muscular one. And new boots. She brightened. Kotanoobüts! It’s what I’ll turn you into if you decide that fighting me is a good idea.

"You want to sk-sk-sk-sk-skin him?" Tyre asked, audibly alarmed.

"Not really about want. This is No God’s Land, prophet. Everything is a friend, food, or can be made into something useful. If you’re lucky, it’ll be both of the last two. One time I had a horse who ended up being all three. His name was Snacks."

You... a-a-ate your horse?

"And skinned him to make leather. I didn’t kill him though; a building fell on top of him while some Horror was on a rampage. Well, I kinda killed him. But he’d have died from it anyway. I just sped it up. Mercy kill, General Thorn says it's called."

Kitty thought Tyre looked awfully pale all of a sudden, and maybe a little bit green. She had an uncomfortable feeling she’d said something she shouldn’t have.

My name is not Kotanoobüts, was all the two-headed dog managed to say.

Kitty shrugged. I like nicknames.

I do not.

"I could call you Spot. I read somewhere that that’s what Cerberus means. Which is funny because you don’t look like you have any spots. Brindle coats aren’t spotted. What’s up with that?"

Kotanoobüts growled at her again. She beamed. Your baseless death threat would be preferable to that demeaning nickname, I suppose, they admitted.

Excellent. Kotanoobüts it is.

They continued to look irritated, but allowed the argument to go. To return to our previous conversation, they said, grinding out each word, you will assist us because I agreed to help you in return for a favor, and this is the favor.

What happens if you don’t keep your word on stuff like that? Kitty asked. I’ve always wanted to know.

I th-th-think you get c-cursed, Tyre said, his voice hushed dramatically. Or else you just d-die.

Being killed is like a curse, Kitty said, thinking out loud. Just a really fast and permanent one. ‘I curse you with instant death!’ Ooh, I’ll have to tell Fawnemhi it should use that sometime. Great last words to hear.

I-I don’t think anyone wants that t-to be the last thing they h-h-hear.

"Nobody wants anything to be the last thing they hear, but we don’t always get what we want."

Kotanoobüts barked at them, and even Kitty jumped a little at the ferociousness of the sound. You gave your word, and your honor demands you keep it!

We gave our word under duress. It would never hold up in a court of law.

There aren’t any courts of law in No God’s Land.

And I’m not even sure what one is, if we’re being honest with each other. I tried to figure it out one time, but the book was super boring and I lost interest.

"Your honor-"

Try a different argument. I am not an honorable girl.

I-I’ll h-help, Tyre volunteered timidly. I-if you want my help, th-that is. I th-think you were m-mostly here for Kitty, but you s-s-saved me too.

Kotanoobüts nodded both heads at him. "Thank you. I am sure your assistance would be much appreciated, and it is good to know one of you has honor. However, your assistance will be worth little without Kitty and her quarterstaff."

What’s the big deal about one of the Gods of death being locked up anyway? Kitty asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "I mean, I get why you’d care, but why should I? And leave my honor out of it."

"No God’s Land may not be ruled by a God, but that doesn’t mean the Gods never affect it. Your land - every land - will fill up with Returned Dead if we do not return Hades to the correct plane of existence. Too many of the dead have slipped through the cracks already and are taking advantage of the land of Hades being unguarded to attempt to return themselves to life."

"Isn’t it Cerberus’s job to guard the land of Hades?"

I have little power without my master. They managed to mumble it; they clearly did not like to be reminded of their weakness.

Kitty played with the ruffle of lace at the end of her sleeve. "You’re still not telling me why I should care. I know ‘the dead should stay dead’ is a big theme, but I’ve never really invested in it. If the dead want to go for a stroll that’s their prerogative."

They are not Humans any longer. They are Monsters, if they are anything at all. This is the parts of them without thought, without humanity. The parts that only survive and do not live. They are lethargic spirits, usually, but many of them become violent, particularly if they run across the living. You will lose all you hold dear if they continue to escape for too long.

Kitty laughed. "All I hold dear I’m holding. She gestured at herself. I’ve got my walking stick, got my dress, got my bag, got my boots. And no ‘Returned Dead’ will be bothering Fawnemhi, so I can just get more stuff if I need it."

In truth, Kitty had every intention of helping. She had promised, and Returned Dead sounded like an eyesore, even if they weren’t a threat, which they probably were. She did live in No God’s Land, and so did plenty of other people, and she didn’t want something like that taking over it. And rescuing a God sounded new and interesting. But she didn’t want people to start thinking she was easy to hire. Kotanoobüts would have to work at convincing her. Superficially, at least.

Kotanoobüts growled. Do you have no care for the others in your land?

"It’s not my land and... Nope," she lied, popping the last word.

Kotanoobüts stared at Kitty for a long time, and she stared right back, grinning. You are correct, they relented at last, falling back on their haunches. I cannot force you to keep your word if you choose not to. Persephone and I shall simply have to find some other way.

Kitty perked up with interest. "Persephone sent