I'm Not Real: A Story of Neglect and Adoption

By Ty Benbow

The scene opens in, of all places, an orphanage, but not just any orphanage. The tiny residents of the Arcadia Adoption Home have suffered life’s ultimate betrayal and cruelty. Remarkably, they bear no physical or emotional scars. That’s because these little ones are no longer broken and abandoned. Here they are cherished, healed, and—in every way—whole.

Author, Ty Benbow has penned a powerful work of fiction that champions a heavenly worldview on perhaps the most important and divisive topic of this age. I’m Not Real, weaves together all the stories of the broken—the children, and the parents who failed them.

Benbow’s compelling narrative depicts the gut-wrenching consequences of some of our worst choices. Written in a style that will appeal to women and men alike, I’m Not Real will strike a chord with the millions of individuals among us who desperately need to be healed. Herein is a clear message of hope, but only because of the grace and mercy of God. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Creation House
• Release date: Jan 5, 2016
• ISBN: 9781629984933

Book preview

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1

ARCADIA

ARCADIA ADOPTION HOME was the name of the facility, and its premises were filled with orphans. Those who were perceived by some as either unintended, inconvenient, or down right threatening made up most of the facility’s population. Each child in the compound was not unlike any other child. Enthusiasm came in large doses. Lively communication was expected. The same games and activities were enjoyed on a regular basis. But, perhaps most of all, each child desired the same kind of love and affection as any other child. Thus, the distinct difference between the children in residence at Arcadia and any other child was not determined by the children themselves, but by their parents. An orphan, as well as any other child, is susceptible to experiencing love and/or neglect. The only true difference resides in who provides such elements of life to the child. In the case of the children at Arcadia Adoption Home, the decision was always the same. Such children were no longer under the mercy of their parents, but of someone else. Each child at Arcadia had at one time belonged—albeit briefly—to an unwilling parent or set of parents. The only dynamic stronger than the parents’ unwillingness to raise these children was their ability to act on such unwillingness with great rapidity. So decisive and quick were the decisions to willingly give up custody, that not a single child at Arcadia had even a single memory of their original parent. They were, and had always been, orphans.

And so it came to be that each orphan living under the roof of the Arcadia Adoption Home was the legal responsibility of the facility’s manager and proprietor, Big Al. Thus, it is here that the story begins.

Opinions varied widely regarding the owner and operator of Arcadia. Though he was well aware of such a reality, he had never allowed the polarity concerning him to be a bother. Staff meeting was set to begin as several members of the Arcadia support team began filtering in to the facility’s conference room. Meetings were common in Arcadia most notably because Big Al was a great communicator who loved to listen in on the specifics behind the ongoing process of running the facility, as well as to share his vision on how to continue growing Arcadia. It was clear to all involved that the adoption home was a major investment for Big Al. This particular enterprise had certainly been the recipient of Al’s seemingly limitless talent and energy. For this very reason, Big Al insisted on making sure he dedicated plenty of his attention to the support staff on a consistent basis. In fact, Al had made it a habit of reminding the entire staff of this very fact at the onset of every meeting, as was the case prior to the most recent meeting scheduled at the facility.

It is great to see all of you. I know we say this often, but I want you to know that I am very happy to see all of you here. You do not have to be involved in this work that we do, and yet here you are. The children appreciate it, and I am proud to have you on staff. Now, with that being said, let’s get to work! What is on the agenda?

One of the higher-ranking staff members began to introduce the various renovations occurring throughout the facility.

Renovations to Selah, Chance, and Damien’s rooms are nearly completed, seeing that they will host the arrival of their parents later.

Big Al smiled approvingly as the list of events continued. Another staff member began to detail add-ons to the facility.

Of course, Big Al will be finalizing the interior of Emma’s room. We will be expecting to welcome her to the facility very soon. Also, we need to keep up consistent preparations for the remaining other rooms being built on the east wing.

This announcement reminded Big Al of the work he would begin later. One of the countless ways the primary caregiver showed his unrivaled love to the orphans was by personally building and customizing a room for each child at Arcadia Adoption Home. Since opening the facility, Al had always insisted on building a room to welcome the arrival of each child. Upon arrival of the child, Big Al would then willingly repaint, refinish, and continually customize each room based on what the child desired. Big Al insisted that this be done for every orphan. As a result, the owner of the facility spent a great deal of time in overalls, painting, sawing, sanding, and hammering new details of love into each room in the facility.

A third staff member jumped in once the update was complete.

Al, we will have support staff on the ground near Selah, Chance, and Damien throughout the visits, correct?

Big Al affirmed the staff member’s inquiry.

Yes, that is right. Is anyone interested in being assigned to one of the three?

Al was happy to see a raised hand belonging to each staff member, all showing eagerness to be assigned to this one particular task. It was encouraging to enjoy such unity and momentum amongst the staff. This was not to say it had always been this way. Thoughts on Big Al had classically been most diverse amongst his staff members, especially in the past. Big Al had gone through a myriad of support staff since opening the adoption facility long ago. In the earlier years of the facility, there had been a large falling out between Al and many of the individuals on staff. Much like many other divisions, the tension revolved around a predictable issue. One particular member of the original staff believed that Al simply was not competent for the job. This former member of the staff convinced several other staff members that Big Al was unnecessarily protective of the orphans under his care, and was thus sheltering them. Many on staff began to believe Al was simply too possessive of the orphans.

That same morning Big Al made his selections for who would shadow the three host children, while also reminding the staff members of protocol in case one of the visits should become disruptive.

Remember, if for any reason one of these visits begins to get out of hand, do not be afraid to report it to me. Protection of the children is our primary objective. As you know if one of these visitors attempts to harm the child in any manner, then we will go to lock down protocol.

Big Al pointed in the direction of the large red button located on the wall. There were a number of these devices located throughout the facility. Yet, it was the very lockdown button currently being pointed toward that generated powerful memories amongst the staff. It was this particular button that Al had hit the one and only time lock down protocol had ever been initiated due to the actions of the Arcadian staff itself. When Big Al’s competence as primary caregiver had been challenged, the threat was made to include the orphans into the staff-wide debate. During this combative meeting, several members abruptly exited the conference room with the intent to gather the orphans and ask their opinion of Al’s leadership. It was then that Big Al locked down the facility, allowing none of the staff to reach the orphans.

Al had the staff member who had questioned his competence—along with all staff members in support—fired immediately and removed from the facility. Ever since, it had become abundantly clear both who was in charge of Arcadia, as well as how the facility would function.

While those currently on staff believed very strongly in Big Al’s vision and methods, the past division had left Arcadia with a reputation. The former fired staff members publicly despised Big Al along with his facility, and took every opportunity to share with others the perceived problems connected with the adoption home. Nevertheless, Big Al had not allowed such a reputation to alter or dictate the manner in which he cared for the orphans. And despite many attempts, none of Arcadia’s opponents had been successful in shutting down the facility.

Big Al continued to instruct his support staff as the meeting began to wind down. He knew he demanded a great deal from his support staff, but he was also aware that they all but mirrored his affection for the orphans. It was for this reason that Al chose to run a tight ship.

I know it does not happen very often, but the welfare of the orphans is most important. Do not wait for any of the children to react. If one of the parents becomes threatening or oppressive toward one of the children, do not hesitate to lock down the complex. From there, I will handle what will follow.

Al initiated parental visits via legal summons on a regular basis, and though former parents knew better than to oppose the success of Arcadia publicly, there were some who, when they visited, were less willing or able to make the visit a positive experience for themselves or the orphan. Big Al insisted that former parents not be allowed to negatively affect the children he loved and cared for so deeply. Amidst the division—both among staff members and visits from former parents alike—there was one group who had remained unanimously in support of the facility as well as its operator, and that group was the orphans who called Arcadia home.

Never was this truth more obvious than when the Arcadia staff meeting would conclude, and Big Al, along with his staff, would join the orphans for mealtime. Of course, it would be difficult for an outsider of the Arcadia Adoption Home to decipher when mealtime—or any other event for that matter—began or ended. As much criticism as Big Al had received in the past for being overly protective and sheltering, it certainly was not evident in how the orphans functioned from moment to moment. A number of unusual sets of protocol instituted by Big Al made for such a case. For one, Big Al insisted that the kitchen remain open all the time. If children wanted cereal, juice, or a snack it was readily available. As well, Big Al was adamantly opposed to posting hours of operation. For this reason, Arcadia Adoption Home never closed. The facility was open for every holiday as well as around the clock. This, however, was not an object anyone could find in Arcadia. Big Al refused to hang clocks in the facility. The primary caregiver was famous for saying the following to staff and residents alike:

People matter more than the time!

As such, Al saw no need for clocks at Arcadia. However, this was perhaps not the most unusual notable omission to the facility. Nowhere in Arcadia could one find a door. Rather than an open door policy, Big Al instituted a no door policy. For one, it was the staff’s opinion that no doors to close or lock would make for a safer facility for the children. As well, it was abundantly clear the moment an individual arrived at Arcadia Adoption Home that they were very much welcome. Big Al was able to maintain such an environment void of operational hours, clocks, or doors, because he maintained a sizable and committed support staff. For this reason, Big Al was able to ensure literally an ongoing environment of stability and enjoyment to the orphans under his care. The love they had for him and the staff was apparent as the group began to eat with the children.

As the group entered the facility’s cafeteria, the children cheered with excitement. Big Al disliked exclusivity, so the staff and children alike all ate together. As soon as Al and the staff had filled their plates, they were eagerly welcomed to the various tables, as kids shifted to their right and left, and the staff members filled the open spaces. Mealtime was a favorite amongst the residents of Arcadia. The children told jokes, made bubbles with their milk, and went up to get seconds. Much like the climate of Arcadia at large, mealtime normally lasted for quite a long time, given that Big Al insisted that camaraderie was more important that any schedule they could possibly try to maintain. Eventually, however, the meal would die down, and Big Al would begin the second meeting of the day and the first to include both the staff and all the orphans.

Big Al bellowed a loud and hearty, Good Morning!

The reception that followed made for a very loud cafeteria, as all the children shouted together: Good Morning!

Arcadia’s owner and operator laughed at the enthusiastic response as he began to share the most recent news with the orphans regarding the facility. The meeting was fun, but took a great deal of time. As one could imagine, with the arrival of every announcement came the flurry of questions—both expected and unusual—that are possible when sharing information with a group of children. With immense patience and joy, Big Al proceeded through the meeting as he entered into the most commonly repeated segment. Though this process was repeated on a regular basis, Big Al believed it was vital for the children to understand who they were and how he and the staff viewed them.

Okay, kiddos . . . I forgot. What are you?

The cafeteria became very loud once again as the children shouted enthusiastically, Adopted!

That is right! And so where is your home?

Arcadia!

Big Al laughed at the never-ending excitement the orphans expressed toward their shared home.

You are right! We all love you very much and want you to know that Arcadia is just for you. Your old parents wanted to hurt you, but we will never let that happen here! Now, we have new kids coming very soon, so we want to make sure they feel just as welcome as you do once they arrive. Can you help me make them feel welcome?

Yes!

Cheers and whistles began to break out as the orphans considered the thought of more friends coming to their safe and festive adoption home. Playful arguments erupted as the kids debated over whether the new arrivals would be boys or girls. Slowly and patiently, Al restored order to the table.

Okay, okay. Now remember, we will have special guests coming in a little bit. These people are very sad, and just like you, people have tried to hurt them. We want them to feel safe and loved just like you.

Although Big Al had never made it a secret to the orphans that they were adopted, many of his former staff disliked the fact that he allowed former parents into the facility without revealing it to the specific children or leaving open the option for the parent to regain custody. Though many had disagreed, Big Al believed that Arcadia was simply a better environment. Thus, since he had legal custody of the children, he chose not to reveal or allow the parents to reveal their relations to the children. As well, the former parents had no right to even attempt to take back the child who was once theirs. Nevertheless, Big Al summoned several former parents who were troubled. He knew that if they visited the facility and saw how well their former child was thriving, it could positively reinforce and encourage some parents, while also serving as a lesson of accountability for others.

Can you promise to make this feel like home for them too? Can you promise me?

We promise!

Big Al loved to witness how much love and selflessness his adopted children were capable of exhibiting to the people who had treated them so badly. Though many had disagreed over whether or not the children would be as loving if they knew what their parents had done to them, Big Al believed wholeheartedly that it would not matter in the least, and Al had a knack for being right in such cases.

As Big Al began to conclude the meeting, he found himself invigorated by the promise of the events ahead of them.

I am so proud of all of you! I know you will all be very welcoming to our visitors. Now, you all know that we need hosts and primary hosts for our arriving guests. Today I will need three primaries!

The children were instantly leaning toward Big Al in anticipation and excitement. The orphans of Arcadia Adoption Home all loved to be hosts. They had all been asked to host before, but the primary host was something each child was asked to do only once. The children looked around the table wondering if they would be the next one called.

As I call out the names, remember to cheer! After I call out the third name, you are free to go. The staff will be available if you need them. Are you ready?

Ready!

Okay, here we go.

The children were on the edge of their seats, poised to run up to Big Al, or cheer for their friends.

Selah!

An adorable little blonde girl hopped off of her seat and bounded toward Big Al.

Chance!

A stout, strong little boy raced after Selah with enthusiasm.

And last but certainly not least . . . Damien!

The kids cheered extra loud for the scrawny little boy with mocha skin, heading toward Big Al and his two friends with subtle excitement. As the three gathered around Big Al, the cafeteria began to empty as kids went off to play together. Staff followed in several directions with some making their way toward Big Al and the three children set to be primary hosts.

It was evident that all three of the children were immensely excited about being called on to be primary hosts. It was, however, most evident in one of the three especially.

We’re hosts, we’re hosts . . .

The stout little boy named Chance dramatically lowered his voice to mimic an adult as he repeated his proclamation for a third time.

"We’re hosts!"

Big Al bellowed in laughter, as he confirmed his selections.

Chance, you are going to be a truly unforgettable host! In fact, all three of you are perfect choices! Now, do you all remember what we do before we host guests?

The three children answered in unison.

We have Big Al time!

Yes! I get very excited when we select each of you to host one of our visitors. But, before we welcome our guests, I want to spend some time just with you. Selah, you will be hosting the first visitor, so how about you help me with a special project?

Selah became very excited.

What is the project, Big Al?

Big Al smiled as one of staff members began reading off of a file.

We are in the process of welcoming a newly adopted child. Her name is Emma. You and Al will be putting the finishing touches on her room.

Selah smiled and ribbed Chance upon the announcement that the newcomer would in fact be a girl. The tiny little girl then turned to Big Al with a question.

When will Emma be here, Big Al?

Al smiled to hide the pain—the likes of which only he could understand or feel—that came with the hidden truth of every arriving adoption.

She will be here very soon. And then, you will have yet another friend with which to play!

Selah could barely contain her excitement as she, Big Al, the ever-present crowd of lingering kids, and a few support staff walked toward Emma’s nearly finished room.

Behind them, Chance and Damien wrestled on the ground as the former proclaimed, today is going to be a great day!

2

JANE MCGILL

AN ALARM PROGRAMMED to sound