Want

By Reagan McDaniels

She’s been in love with him forever. He’s denied his feelings for just as long. What’s the chance that these two can admit it to each other?
Sage Marin wants love, and she wants it with Oliver Turner, one of her brother’s best friends. He only sees her as her brother’s little sister though. From childhood on up to her part owning Deja Brew with Oliver’s sister, their lives are intertwined. But can Oliver ever see her as something more?
Oliver Turner has been fighting his attraction for sweet Sage Marin since he was a teenager, and he gave her her first kiss. Ever since, he catches her with kisses here and there, but never claims her as his own. Can he overcome his concern of losing her and friends to claim Sage?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Reagan McDaniels
• Release date: May 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463621271

Book preview

Dear Reader,

Where do I start? Well, this is my absolute first ever book. I have spent years with little tidbits of books roaming around in my head, never to write them down. Then suddenly, I just started writing. I am amazed with what I have accomplished, as I have never done anything to this extent before.

Want came out of a sense of me wanting someone who I could care for also be my best friend. Oliver fits that perfectly. He has a great job, knows how to have fun, and of course take sexual risks (sex in a car in a park anyone?). And his partner in crime Sage is someone who I have always wanted to be but never saw myself in. She’s smart, strong, and loves so much.

I’m sure most of us see a little of ourselves in every character we read about. None of us are perfect, we’re just…us, and that’s a beautiful thing.

Now let’s see if Oliver can pull his head out of his ass and get the girl!!!

Reagan

Want

A Deja Brew Novel

Oliver

11 years ago

Hey Sage, your brother home? I ask as I walk up the porch steps to the Marin house. I come here frequently, as it’s like a second or third home to me, considering one of my best friends, Basil Mary Marin, lives here with his younger sister Sage. My other friend, Jake Williams, lives just down the road. At any point you can find all three of us at one of our homes, we’re that close.

Of course, it helps that our parents are friends as well. Why you ask? I’ll tell you why. They each had two children, a boy and a girl, two years apart. The boys were all born within 6 months of each other, and the girls within 3 months. And yes, my sister Becca is one of Mary’s sister Sage’s best friends. Together with Noelle, Jake’s sister, they’re hell on wheels. At 14 years old, can you imagine the drama those three get into together. I won’t go any further, but it’s scary.

I had noticed Sage on the patio swing when I walked up, her legs drawn up with her arms around them and her face turned away from the road. At my question, she just swings her hand in the direction of the front door, saying nothing. I know there’s something wrong now. Sage has always been one to talk to me. Even when we were younger and I would chase her around, pulling her hair and everything, she would still talk to me. And when she and Becca got into baking, I made sure I was around. Not because of Sage, who can bake, but Becca’s baking is awesome. Talking to Sage Marin is a perk is all.

Looking through the front window really quick, I decide I have time and take a seat next to Sage. I got a couple of minutes before I need to pick Mary up to head to Jake’s anyways. As I sit next to her, I set the swing to rocking and keeping it going with my foot.

What happened?

No response.

Sage, you know it’s better to talk about it.

She buries her face deeper into her crossed arms.

I sling my arm along the back of the swing and start playing with her dark hair. It’s long, normally hanging freely to her lower back in curls, but today it’s in one long rope of a braid over her shoulder. Grabbing the braid, I use the end to trace a trail along her cheek and neck, causing her to slap my hand away and glare at me with her steel blue eyes before turning her head back away. Continuing to play with the braid, I notice the scent of cherries. Sage smells like cherries. Huh, I’ve never noticed that before.

Leaning into her, I take a deep breath, inhaling her scent, and my sixteen-year-old body starts to respond. That’s been happening to me a lot more, especially now that I finally lost my virginity to Missy Rogers a couple months ago at her house when she should have been babysitting her little brother. Since then we’ve gotten together a couple more times, but I have a fascination with Sage, always have. Like they both have long dark hair, and a tall, slender build.

But Sage, I can’t put my finger on it. If she’s near, I know it, almost like I’m in tune with her. Don’t even get me start on what happens when we’re at school! And my body is reacting to having her this close now, and she’s only 14! I swear a light breeze would get me hard at this point.

I tug on her hair, and finally get her to turn toward me, allowing me to see her tearstained face. Ah fuck, what happened? Sage, is everything ok? Your family…

Sage’s blue eyes widen, and she immediately says No! They’re fine. Just go inside and leave me alone.

Frowning, because I know better, I ask, Where’s Bobby at?

Bobby who?

Well this can’t be good. Your boyfriend, that little prick Bobby that none of us likes, including your friends, but we put up with him for you.

I don’t have a boyfriend, Sage mumbles forlornly. When I continue to stare at her, she looks away again, but says, Bobby left after dumping me ok! And she pushes her face into her crossed arms again.

Damn it, where’s Mary when you need him. Uh, Sage? It’s not a big deal. Did he say why he dumped you? Not that it matters, because you’re a great person, inside and out.

Blah, blah, blah, yeah, his loss, whatever. Boys are assholes. Next thing you’ll say is that there are other fish in the sea or some such crap, and there’s smartass Sage making an appearance.

Well, I would hope that I don’t fall into that same category. I’ve been nothing but nice to you always…, even when I chased her around one of our yards or around the playground in elementary, I was even nice enough to pull your hair when we were younger!! I say to try and lighten the moment, making sure I tug on her braid to make sure I get my point across.

Well, he dumped me because I didn’t want to kiss him. I didn’t want to kiss him, Oliver!

Ok, ok. So, he tried to push you further then you were ready to go. Good riddance I say! I feel relief and I’m pretty sure it shows on my face, but deep down I’m already planning to kick his ass, because no one, absolutely no one, messes with Sage like that.

I’m glad that Sage stood up for herself. She’s always been confident and knows what she wants. That confidence is a turn on for me suddenly, and I feel my cock harden even more. I move around a bit to hide the evidence tenting my shorts, but it doesn’t change anything.

Oliver? What if there’s someone I do want to kiss me, but I don’t know how to bring it up? Sage is back to looking at me with her big blue eyes, and her eyes have dilated leaving a slight blue rim around her dark pupils.

Well, um, maybe just say something? I focus on my fingers that are playing with her braid, tense because I don’t like the thought of her kissing some guy, any guy.

But how? Suddenly Sage turns to sit sideways on the swing so that she’s facing me. Her braid falls over her shoulder and curls around the curve of her breast, drawing my eyes downward, and blood rushes to my cock. Holy shit when did she get those?!? Mary is so gonna kill me for looking at his sister! They could fit in my hand, the perfect size. God, my dick is killing me right now.

Looking away quickly, I say, Just look him in the eye and tell him you want to kiss him or something. I don’t know Sage!!! Aren’t you too young?! I’m desperate to refocus my thoughts away from anything remotely sexual, even something as small as kissing. I also don’t want to imagine her kissing some guy. I can feel jealousy start to take over, which is new, because I’m never jealous. But then to be possessive of Sage? That’s not new, but the feeling is deeper, and I suddenly realize that I want to kiss her.

Looking at her pouting lips, my eyes trace over her face, looking at her for the first time in a long time. Sage has always been tall and thin. She’s athletic, on the soccer and swim team. Her long dark hair has curls too, looser versions than the tight ones her brother Mary has. Her eyes are blue with a dark brown outer ring. But her body has developed, and it takes all kinds of will power to change the direction of my thoughts when Sage interrupts them herself.

Taking a deep breath, Sage puts her hand on my leg closest to her, leans close and catches looks me in the eye. Oliver? Will you kiss me? And she licks her lips to moisten them, her small tongue darting out, turning me on even more. I know Sage isn’t trying to turn me on, but she definitely has my attention.

Keeping my groan to myself, because at this point in time, I would like to do a hell of a lot more than kiss her, I scoot as far away from her on the swing as I can, which isn’t really that far. Uh, I don’t think Mary would like that. Hell, you know Mary would beat the shit out of anyone who touched his little sister! I’m panicking because I know I want to kiss her, and I need to turn everything around as quick as possible, preferably without hurting her.

I figured you wouldn’t. So, what you said didn’t work. I can’t just ask the guy that I want to kiss me to actually kiss me.

I didn’t say that. I’m sure kissing you would be great, but there are other people we need to think about here! Wait. Sage wants me to kiss her?

Sure, whatever Oliver. I get it. Thanks for whatever support this just was, and she gets up to walk into the house and away from me.

Grabbing her hand before she’s out of my reach, she turns and looks at me with a question in her eyes. She’s tall, but I’m taller, even sitting, so Sage doesn’t have to lower her blue eyes that much to meet my green ones. I run my other hand through my hair before I take a deep breath, coming to a decision. If I do this, you cannot tell anyone ok? I don’t want your brother coming after me alright?

I don’t want a pity kiss Oliver. I just want to be kissed. Is it really that big a deal?

Yes, to me it is. And this doesn’t mean we’re boyfriend-girlfriend or anything like that alright? Why does that feel wrong to say?

Fine, yes, I get it Oliver. It doesn’t mean anything to you.

Sage really has no clue. Standing up, I pull Sage closer to me. I didn’t say that. I just want to keep this between us. She’s still young and doesn’t realize this could ruin our whole dynamic, and I need to keep that in mind.

I pull her closer until we’re chest to chest. Leaning down, my hands cup her face and tilt her mouth toward mine, and my lips gently touch hers. I feel a hot jolt of electricity travel through my body. Man, her lips are so soft and plump that I can’t help but nibble on them a little. We just stand there kissing like that for a bit, and when her mouth finally opens a little, I slide my tongue in against hers with a groan.

Her arms slide around my shoulders, pushing her breasts against me, and my hands wrap around her waist to reach down and cup her ass, pulling her to me. I know she can feel my hard cock against her, but I can’t help it and grind against her. What she’s wearing doesn’t help. A pair of shorts overalls with a crop top underneath, leaving a lot of skin showing.

I raise my head, my lips wanting to be back on hers almost immediately and open my eyes. Her lips are plump and red from our kiss and her breath is coming in shallow pants. When her eyes open and land on mine with her lips parted, I dive in for a second, rougher kiss, squeezing her ass with one hand as my other hand roams around inside her overalls, sliding to the smooth skin underneath. Her hands go to my head, grabbing my hair and pulling me closer. Our tongues meet, and I tilt my head so I can take the kiss deeper.

Has she really never kissed anyone?

My hand under her overalls slides up, playing with the edge of her crop top, my thumb underneath the shirt, damn near touching her breast, enough to know that she is definitely not wearing a bra. The other hand at her ass has a couple fingers on her ass skin to skin as they pass the edge of her overalls. Her arms around my shoulders are pulling me closer, and she’s thrusting her small breasts against mine. Oh God, this is so hot.

The kiss goes on for I don’t know how long before I pull back and drag my lips down her neck. Oliver… Sage says, breathing in short pants, dragging me back to reality.

I jerk my head away from her and look at her. One of my hands is now completely on her ass, and the other is sliding along her back and sides under her shirt, playing around the underside of her breast. She has one of her hands under my shirt on my chest, and I know she can feel how hard my heart is beating. I just want to lay her down and climb on top of her and slide deep inside of her. Looking at the swing, I give serious thought to laying her down on it and covering her body with mine, just for the feeling, when I hear a noise from inside her house.

Before I think about it, I push her away and sit down on the swing, like nothing happened. I swear I see a flash of hurt course through Sage’s eyes, but before she can say anything, her brother comes out.

Dude, I’ve been waiting for you for like 15 minutes! Did you not get my texts?

Sorry Mary, I left my phone in the car. Saw Sage here and figured I would tease her like I used to for old time’s sake.

Well let’s go. Jake’s waiting for us, and with that Mary walks to my jeep parked on the street and jumps in the front seat as Sage and I watch.

I’m proud of that car, a red jeep that I can go mudding in with the guys. With the summer warmth, I have taken the roof and windows off leaving it open to the wind. The guys and I plan to go roam around a bit before heading to the park to play a quick game with some other guys. Later on tonight, all three of us are meeting dates for a quick movie. Normally we would blow of the movie and choose to do other things, but looking over at Sage, I realize I don’t even want to go on the date anymore. Hell, I don’t want to leave.

I’ll be there in a sec, I call as I run my hands through my hair and look at my jeep. Then I return my attention back to Sage. Sighing, I shove my hands through my hair. Sage…

I get it Oliver. No one has to know, she interrupts before turning to head inside.

Walking to her, I stop her with a hand clasping hers. I lean close and kiss her on the cheek. You’re a great chick. I don’t want something as simple as a kiss to lose you in my life. We can still be friends, right?

We haven’t been friends in forever Oliver if we ever were. What’s different? Nothing. We still won’t be friends. You’ll continue to be bff’s with my brother and I’ll see you around is all. No, we definitely won’t be friends. With that final statement, Sage walks into the house, never looking back at me.

I watch as Sage disappears into the house before heading to my jeep. Mary is hanging out the door, hitting the side of it, Come on Ollie! Let’s go!!! Jake’s waiting! Game and dates, I know the girls are excited to see us tonight!

More like they’re excited to see him. Mary is quarterback of the football team, I’m a wide receiver, and Jake is a defensive lineman. Where I know I’m good looking, I’m not starting quarterback in my junior year like Mary is. I have no doubt that the girls would be happy if he showed up by himself. Everyone wants a piece of Mary. Add in his looks that are eerily similar to Sage’s, and it’s like he’s a teen heartthrob. But that’s the least of my worries right now.

Looking back at the house, I walk around the front of the jeep, and when I get in, I look at Mary. Have you noticed anything different about Sage? I put my sunglasses on and keep my face turned away from him as I start driving.

Besides the fact that her asshole boyfriend dumped her? No, she’s still a pain in my ass. She wants me to bake with her tomorrow, Mary says with a shudder.

Sage still bakes? I didn’t know that. As I drive, I’m rubbing my lower lip between my fingers thinking while at the same time remembering the feeling of Sage’s lips beneath mine. I swear I can still taste her.

Yeah, she does. Getting creative. But I hate doing it personally. I would avoid it if I could, but she wore me down.

A memory overtakes me suddenly, and I share it with Mary. Remember when our sisters got together to do that emoji cake deal? Or the Unicorn Cake? Then they dragged us in to taste and judge their cakes??? Sage was good, but damn, Becca knocked it out of the ballpark! Referring to my sister, who is also one of Sage’s best friends next to Noelle Williams, Jake’s sister.

Oh man! And Noelle’s cake? Didn’t she put salt instead of sugar? Ended up crying when we teased her and Sage and Becca turned on us? Jake found out, and he wanted to kick our asses! Mary is laughing hard with the memories along with me.

An idea pops into my head, allowing me to get back in Sage’s life, because I know for a fact that I’m not ready to let her go. How about I come by tomorrow? I’ll bake with her, and you can chill out? Play video games or some shit?

Jake looks at me like he’s assessing me. Why would you willingly do that?

Your sister needs more friends, more guy friends, than your sorry ass to help steer her in the right direction. Especially if she ends up dating a loser like Bobby Numbnuts. God knows my sister won’t help her and is just as flighty in life as anyone I know.

Makes sense. We can get Jake to come over, and I know Noelle and Becca will probably want to come.

I would ask if your parents would be mad about this but judging from how my mom acted last weekend when everyone landed at our house, they’ll be in seventh heaven.

Yeah, our parents need to get a life I think sometimes.

Yeah. So, we’ll be there after lunch.

Sounds good, Mary says as I pull up to Jake’s house. Then Mary lets out a low whistle. Who does Jake have washing his car?

Looking over I see a nice ass bent over washing the front wheel, and when the body stands up, it’s covered in a little bikini top and short shorts with thick honey blonde hair in a messy bun on the top of her head. Not sure. Maybe it’s a chick trying to get in his pants?

He would have said something. I’m going to check this out, Jake says jumping out of the jeep and walking toward the girl.

As I watch Mary, my mind starts thinking of ways I can make it clear to Sage that we can still be friends. Because we will be friends, probably even better friends than Mary and me, along with Jake. Sage and I are going to be lifelong friends. She just doesn’t know it yet. She’s always been in my life, and I want to make sure she stays that way.

Noelle!? What the hell are you wearing?! I hear Mary yell.

Yep, this is my life. And it just got turned upside down because of a not so simple kiss.

Sage

7 years ago

We graduated!!! Noelle yells in excitement close to mine and Becca’s ears as we hug each other immediately after the ceremony is over.

We’re smiling and excited when our parents find us. Nothing but smiles, we start to take pictures, multiples of us three together. We’ve remembered how we stood in all our favorite pictures, so we recreate them all, yelling at our parents as they roll their eyes at our antics. Then our brothers show up.

Where have y’all been? I ask watching Oliver out of the corner of my eye.

Jake is back for the week from being stationed at Fort Bliss just to see Noelle graduate, and Mary and Oliver are on summer break from college. Out of all three of them though, Jake definitely stands out. Noelle asked him for one thing as a gift, and when she told him, he just laughed and agreed. Hence why all the female eyes are following him in his uniform. Even though I’m not interested, he’s damn hot in uniform. He had joined the Marines after graduating and has been stationed close to home luckily.

Mary’s a star football player at Oklahoma State, making waves and will probably be drafted soon. I hope he finishes college before doing anything like that though. His lean body garners a second look compared to Jake in uniform in his button up blue shirt and khaki slacks.

Sighing, I finally turn to look at Oliver. In a suit and tie, he looks good. I can’t help it. I’ve been in love with Oliver since I was ten years old. Probably earlier,