The Nature and Embodiment of Church Conflict

By Robert Lewis

Church conflict is not a pleasant subject, yet leadership in churches understands firsthand how real and intense it can be. This book is an re-edit of the first edition, Barnacle Busters. This book covers the reality of church conflict, the importance of correctly handling conflict, the nuances of conflict, and the Bible's stance on conflict.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Robert Lewis
• Release date: Apr 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463996157

Robert Lewis

Robert (Robby) J. Lewis is a writer based out of Charleston, South Carolina. He has brought you not only the Shadow Guardian series but he Someone Series under Robert Lewis. He has written numerous steamy film scripts for Noir Male and Icon Male and more recently agreed to start writing for Luxxxe Studios. You can keep up with Robby Lewis's latest releases, news, and antics via his social media or at www.robert-j-lewis.com.

Book preview

The Nature and Embodiment

of

church conflict

By Robert Lewis

Copyright 2020 Robert Lewis

~

Edited by Holly Smith

Managing Editor, The California Southern Baptist

Published by Robert Lewis

Second Edition with a Different Name

First Published Under the Name Barnacle Busters

License Notes

Please respect the hard work of this author. Do not reproduce this book for any reason.

If you want your friend or study group to read it, please purchase a copy for them

or challenge them to purchase a copy.

Thank you for respecting the copyrights of Robert D. Lewis.

Table of Contents

Preface

Chapter 1 Controversy

Controversies Seen as Church Sins, Distresses, and Problems

The Hurt and Pain of Controversy

The Calling to Be Peace Makers

The Challenge of Church Stereotypes

A Look at the Damage from Controversy

The Measure of a Healthy Local Congregation: The 80% Rule

Who Should Confront Controversy?

Conclusion

Case Study: How Mary Was Blindsided by a Church Controversy

Group Discussion Questions

Chapter 2 Controversy’s Breeding Ground: Carnal Christianity

The Controversy’s Effect on Christians: The Flesh

Dying with Jesus

Living with Jesus

The Spirit-Filled Life

Conclusion

Case Study: Sam Gets Saved and Filled with the Spirit

Group Discussion Questions

Chapter 3 Controversia Maximus: The Whopper

The Seduction of Early Christian Congregations

God Still Works in the Church

What the Early Church Lost that We Need

How Koinonia Works

Emperor Constantine’s Sleight-of-Hand: Replacing Fellowship with Worship

What Was the Pattern for House Churches?

What is Wrong with Worship? Nothing!

Case Study: Delbert Goes to a House Church

Group Discussion Questions

Notes

Chapter 4 What a Oblivious Origin of Controversy!

What Do We Mean by the Word Drag?

The Result of Unconfessed Corporate Sin

The Result of Unconfessed Private Sin

The Result of Groupthink

The Result of Dysfunction

Ridding a Congregation of Drag Starts and is Sustained by Corporate Prayer

Addictive Church Organization

Dealing with Groupthink #1

Dealing with Groupthink #2

Dealing with Groupthink #3

Conclusion

Case Study: Pastor Fred Boxleitner’s Alice-in-Wonderland Experience at Church

Group Discussion Questions

Notes

Chapter 5 Tough Love’s Deed: The Removal of Controversy

The Seeming Dilemma of a Confronting Ungodly Controversy

False Guilt Clobbered by Clarity

A Pastor’s Unspoken Fear

A Layperson’s Unspoken Fear

Three Principles Undergirding Tough Shepherding

The Principle of Tough Love

The Principle of Corporate Primacy

The Principle of Role Fidelity

Real Sheep Need a Tough Shepherd, Too

Tough Love and Justice

Conclusion

Case Study: Pastor Jerry’s Experience at The Chapel by the Sea

Group Discussion Questions

Notes

Chapter 6 Politics: One Vicious Source of Controversy

The Primary Characteristics of a Political Church

Majoring on the Minors

Dividing into Parties

Producing Members Who Are Sick Emotionally and Spiritually

Producing Double-Minded Members

The Secondary Characteristics of a Political Church

Manipulation

Anger

Repressed Pain

How Churches Become Political

Conclusion

Case Study: Dirty Politics in Sarasota

Group Discussion Questions

Chapter 7 Yes, It’s a Spiritual Task

The Spiritual Facet of Confronting Controversy

Figurative Language, but Not Fictitious!

Confronting Controversy Involves Busting Satan

Satan’s Relationship to Busting Up Controversy

What Makes a Controversy Buster-Upper Tough?

Every Buster-Upper of Controversy Needs Armor

Finally, Take the Helmet and Sword

Bulk Up with Muscle

Conclusion

Case Study: A Pastor Busts a Controversy From the Church in One Blow

Group Discussion Questions

Notes

Chapter 8 Crowned King the Second Time

Commotion Could Be a Sign of Blessing

Becoming an Established Buster of Controversy

Move Out of Camelot

Solomon Had to be Made King a Second Time

Tough Shepherding Rears its Beautiful Head

King David’s Wife/Nurse Becomes a Political Pawn

An Immutable Principle of Leadership

Proactive Controversy Busting

Solomon Won with a Good Offense

A Note About Church Discipline of Members

Respect for Pastors, Elders, and Other Peacemakers

Give Godly Church Members a Little Time

Conclusion: The Birth of Unity

Case Study: Watch the Movie Classic, High Noon

Group Discussion Questions

Chapter 9 The Controversy Called Adversarius

Et Tu Brute? (You too, Brutus?)

Nehemiah’s Controversy Adversarius: Tobias and His Comrades

Characteristics of Controversy Adversarius

Common Tactics of Controversy Adversarius

Busting Controversy Adversarius

Conclusion

Case Study: The Case of the Wishy-Washy Pastor

Group Discussion Questions

Notes

Chapter 10 Creating an Unfriendly Climate for Controversy

The Temperature of Healthy Conflict

The Barometric Pressure of Power

The Dew Point of Trust

The Whirling Wind Vane of Fellowship

Conclusion

Case Study: Associate Pastor Ricky Senses a Climate of Suppressed Conflict

Group Discussion Questions

Notes

Chapter 11 Leadership Traits of a Controversy Buster

Assertive

Intentional

Organized

Persuasive

Vulnerable

Compassionate

Conclusion

Case Study: Brookhaven’s Screwup

Group Discussion Questions

Notes

Chapter 12 Harmonizing Controversy Busting and Servanthood

The Popular Notion of Servanthood

Servanthood Has Priorities

First, servanthood bows to God

Second, the family has a claim on servanthood

Third, the church has a claim on servanthood

Fourth, people at large take the claim of servanthood

Servanthood Has Self-Esteem

When Antagonists Don’t Come to Their Senses You Call the Controversy Buster

Controversy Busting and 1 Corinthians 13

Long is Not Forever

Kind Means Useful

Controversy Busting is Not Jealous

Controversy Busting Does Not Brag

Controversy Busting is Humble

Controversy Busting Suits Action to Circumstance

Controversy Busting is Characterized by Unselfishness

Controversy Busting is Not Goaded

Controversy Busting Doesn’t Keep Score

Controversy Busting is in Love with Righteousness

Controversy Busting Also Demonstrates the Proactive Side of Love

Controversy Busting Bears All Things

Servanthood and Power

Power is Related to Purpose

Power Without Purpose Brings Division

Power Comes from Pursuing Purpose

Conclusion

Case Study: Helping the Church Accounts Payable Clerk

Group Discussion Questions

Notes

Chapter 13 Controversy Pathogenesis

Pathogenic Churches

Psychosomatic Illness Transmitted Through Groups

Church Depression

Pneumo-Psychological Illness

Symptoms of a Pathogenic Church

High-Level Conflict

Hooked on Crises

Sick Church Members

Prognosis of a Pathogenic Church

Case Study: The Pathogenic Environment of First Well-Known-Denomination Church

Group Discussion Questions

Notes

BACKMATTER

About the Author

Another Book Co-Authored by Robert Lewis

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Preface

Having spent my life in the church world, I know something of discord and conflict in church. As I sat to write this preface, I received an email from a friend asking for prayer for a church involved in a conflict. The following message was quoted by my friend followed by her comment:

 "The fight continues …

What a difficult enemy has touched me. Sometimes I see him as small and sometimes I’m afraid he’s going to bite me. It’s amazing how he fights, how he moves above all Biblical order, always thinking about winning, no matter who should or could get hurt.’ These are some of the words of a friend who wrote us yesterday about a person in his church who has launched a campaign to remove his pastor."

These kinds of stories are common, and that’s why churches need a rationale for addressing conflict. Most churches are never taught about church conflict. Churches usually view conflict as a failure and embarrassment to be buried. But buried conflict won’t stay buried. Sooner or later it will erupt. When it does, pastors and laymen will not remember the reasons for the conflict. In this disconnected state, it will seem bizarre and mystical.

I understand why people hide conflict. Church fights are humiliating. They make all of us want to run and hide. They are complex and they don’t fit the church stereotype.

When I became a pastor, I was inexperienced in life, but not in going to school. I knew church from growing up in a Christian family, in a nice neighborhood, and by attending worship services, Sunday School classes, and Vacation Bible School. In those days, children were not involved in church politics or church fights, so I was doubly naïve. The first conflict I experienced in a church would have been a non-event to a veteran pastor or a seasoned working man, but to me, it was a shock. I had no idea Christians would act in such a fashion, especially in a church setting. I suppose it was that sense of surprise and disappointment that gave me an interest in the subject of church conflict.

This book is also the result of a career in ministry. The lessons learned were learned while serving churches as a youth minister and then as a pastor. I also directed an association of churches, which landed me in the middle of many church conflict situations. In other words, these lessons were learned in the laboratory of experience. Don’t get me wrong. Many wonderful things happened during this time. Sometimes the great things happened as a result of successfully dealing with church problems. But I expected the good things to happen. I had been surprised by the bad. Writing about it might be my therapy.

I hope this book will be a motivator for church leaders to confront and not run from conflict. The only failure is the failure to address the conflict. Churches have always had issues to solve, doctrinal disputes to confront, and irrational and belligerent members (or pastors) to rebuke. These are not uncommon happenings in a church

Many times, the effort to solve the issue becomes an issue because of the mistake of solving the symptom rather than the root cause. Church issues need to be rightly defined so an appropriate plan can be developed. Execution of the plan needs to be skillful and effective. And Christians need to be taught about church conflict and given a rationale for dealing with it.

Bring the subject of church conflict to the attention of your church. Use this book as the textbook for a class on the rationale of confronting church conflict. Case studies are included with group discussion questions. My hope is that this book will give you the rationale for being a Controversy Buster as well as the resolve to implement tough love (tough shepherding).

— Robert Lewis

Chapter 1

Controversy

But shun foolish controversies and genealogies and strife and disputes about the Law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. Reject a factious man after a first and second warning, knowing that such a man is perverted and is sinning, being self-condemned, (The Apostle Paul to Titus, Titus 3:9-11, NASB).

The Apostle Paul took stands against ungodly and harmful behavior in the churches. A controversy ‘buster’ or conciliator follows Paul’s example. The skillful busting-up of controversy nurtures Christian maturity.— Robert Lewis

A controversy in a church is like a sea creature like a barnacle that attaches itself to ships. Sailors get rid of barnacles. Christians should get rid of problems attached to the church.

This book is a rationale for confronting controversy in a church, which can be categorized into overarching groupings:

 Doctrinal (heresy, dissent, deviation, profanation, etc.)

   Group Behavior or Fellowship (disorder, confusion, turmoil, chaos, etc.)

   Individual Behavior (insubordinate, profane, disrespectful, irreverent, etc.)

Here is a definition of controversy from Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary: (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/controversy):

1: a discussion marked especially by the expression of opposing views : DISPUTE "The decision aroused a controversy among the students."

2: QUARREL, STRIFE

Controversy Seen as Church Sins, Distresses, and Problems

Controversy or controversies in a church, as used in this book, are the acts of partisanship and power grabs in the church that do not take into account the leadership of the Holy Spirit and the consensus of the fellowship. Some of these unholy activities, processes, or attitudes will appear in the form of false doctrine, conflicts, fights, sinful behavior, organizational politics, and any intrusion of the flesh into the life of the church. We lump all these things into the category of church conflict or church problems.

These controversies slow forward progress and can destroy the purpose, biblical form, and spiritual health of a congregation. Any existing controversy needs to be removed and a regimen of prevention developed. The Church is a spiritual organization led by the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ. Controversies come from interjecting the will of man into the mix.

Over time congregations and their leadership may become accustomed to controversy. They may come to believe that they must endure these afflictions as part of the Christian calling. Young pastors might be taught by veteran pastors that some of controversy is a normal idiosyncrasy that must be endured as a good soldier of the Cross. Deacons and church members often develop coping mechanisms for the common controversies found in churches to their own detriment.

For example, a man served as pastor of many congregations during the early Twentieth Century and into the 1960’s. Every church he served as pastor developed a career-limiting dispute one to two years into his term as pastor. He talked with other pastors who had served that church prior to him. They confirmed the pattern had been there when they were the pastor of that church. They had learned to cope by putting out the small fires of controversy quickly. However, when they saw a huge conflagration starting that they feared would engulf their administrations, they would move to new congregations. He and other pastors had accepted this as normal. In that denomination, the average tenure of a pastor in a church during this period was one-and-a-half years.

Some pastors and laymen may blame themselves for these bonfires of conflict, thinking the symptoms are of their making. They hear only the congregational cries of blame. They view themselves with self-blame. They might think they did not pray enough, serve well enough, or preach well enough. These pastors and laymen leave believing they failed, and so they did, but not because they were the cause of the bonfires of conflict. They failed by not rightly discerning the problem behind those bonfires. They failed to become peacemakers. They failed to address the problem or problems. They failed to see them not only as dysfunctional patterns of behavior, but as spiritual strongholds that needed to be busted apart and removed.

The Hurt and Pain of Controversy

Pastors need to know that laymen suffer when their church is in conflict. Sometimes laymen are unjustly blamed. Sometimes they step up to help the pastor deal with the controversy and, then, the pastor is fired, leaving these laymen out on a limb. Sometimes laymen become victims of friendly fire and are fired on by the pastor and other church leaders.

Laymen need to know that pastors and elders suffer, too, often being directly under attack from the antagonists in the churches, the hidden reefs in the Love Feast, as the book of Jude shares (Jude, verse 12). Furthermore, pastors must bide their time; they must wait for the right moment. The whole congregation, in most churches, and surely the key church leadership, needs to see what the pastor sees, otherwise the good people of the church misunderstand. In a mega-church the pastoral staff, board of directors, and all the principle players need to see the same conflict and controversy that the senior pastor sees. If the congregation doesn’t see what the pastor sees, the congregation can mistakenly see the troublemakers, who are members acting in the flesh, as the victims being picked on by the big bully pastor. Pastors in smaller congregations should wait until enough key people and groups see what the pastor sees before making big moves to remove certain controversy. Do exceptions exist to this rule? Rare situations will arise that require immediate attention.

Pastors need wisdom when engaging a controversy for the sake of the common good. Controversy hurts everyone in the average church because everyone is in the same boat. Even though many in the church may suffer, at first they suffer separately, unaware of the suffering of others until the cloak of invisibility is removed off the controversy. One might say that for a time the controversy becomes that elephant — the proverbial elephant in the room that no one can or wants to see. The first step of the pastor is to correctly identify the controversy and bring it to light so the whole group can see it.

Have you noticed that most church leaders try to cover up church troubles and disputes? One can understand one reason — church fights and disputes are bad for business. However, in the long run, burying conflict is even worse.

The consequence of a congregation burying conflict is the same as when an individual buries his or her pain rather than facing it. Eventually, buried pain is worked out in strange behavior or as sickness and disease. The individual with buried pain from conflict will act out in uncharacteristic ways, attacking people or exhibiting bizarre or harmful behavior or the pain-ridden person will act in and get sick — physically sick — even with rare diseases.

The same thing happens to the group. The congregation with buried pain also acts out in a bizarre or dysfunctional way manifesting itself in physical outbursts or subversive behavior. The congregational pain that is not publicly confronted sometimes will act its way inside the congregation and make church members physically or psychologically ill.

Therefore, handling aggressive and disruptive church members with kid gloves is the wrong approach. Sweeping things under the rug doesn’t work and is not modeled in Scripture. Handling antagonists gently never works as a long-term strategy for resolving conflict. It may not work in the short-term, either. It’s like waving that famous red cape in front of a stomping, snorting bull. That’s why the Apostle Paul often had to resort to dealing with antagonists aggressively.

The Calling to Be Peacemakers

The local assembly of Christians has the high calling to be holy and ready for every good work. Part of that effort to be holy involves dealing with the issues that prevent or hinder holiness and righteousness whether expressed individually or corporately.

As a corporate body, the church is hindered when sin resides in the body, whether open or secret sin. This side of Resurrection Day a permanent state of holiness doesn’t exist. Every day is a new opportunity for sin while we are in these bodies. Our holiness requires a daily recommitment as well as ongoing vigilance and discipline. And it requires confronting sin and evil when it rears its head.

Paul told the elders at Ephesus: Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood, (Acts 20:28, NASB).

Here’s another warning, from Jesus, this time about false prophets, those who claim to be speaking the word of God but are not:

Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits, (Matthew 7:15-20, NASB).

When the world thinks of the Church they should think of it as a loving fellowship that puts into practice the teachings of Christ. By and large, this is true, truer than the world could possibly comprehend. And aren’t we thankful for that fact? Unhappily, what is sometimes found in the church is the opposite of a loving fellowship — it’s a church where the members have brought their unconfessed sin and anger into the church. This sin and pain exhibit themselves in the interaction between brothers and sisters in the congregation. And, also, the church is a perfect place to hide for pathologically evil people.

It’s true what Billy Graham said in some of his evangelistic events, that the church is a hospital for sinners and not a place for perfect people. However, to extend the analogy, sometimes patients in a hospital need to be restrained for their own good as well as that of other patients; contagious patients need to be quarantined; sometimes visitors need to be kept out of the hospital ward.

In voicing this truth, this book is not encouraging or condoning a squad of enforcers like Hitler’s Gestapo. The objective in a church is redemption and holiness, not elimination, even though in many cases elimination is necessary to protect and serve. This book presents a rationale for why and in what manner to protect the local assembly from discord, heresy, sin, and antagonists; it makes the case for being proactive in dealing with serious issues in the church.

In that context, we will discuss the following:

--The appropriateness of discipline related to Christian behavior.

--The necessity of protecting the doctrine once for all given to the saints.

--The sorts of issues the elders and servants of Christ might encounter.

--The characteristics of numerous fellowships inflicted with evil and conflict.

--The characteristics of a servant of Christ confronting church troublemakers.

The Challenge of Church Stereotypes

Confronting a church problem can be tense. The implementation of corrective action, which involves confrontation, is disturbing.

One cry often heard when leadership must confront a problem member is this: We’re supposed to love each other and being mean to them is not an act of love! This book challenges those declarations that see love as always a pleasant, uplifting encounter. When a person is opposing Christ, destroying the faith of His followers, or being disruptive of Christian fellowship, and that person refuses to respond to admonition and rebuke, removing the offending person from fellowship is an act of love. It is the only act of love that is appropriate. Perhaps that person will repent.

Collateral damage can happen when a church applies discipline and corrective action. Those not directly involved may misunderstand and take offense. If arguments at church spill over into the congregation, it cannot help but confuse some church members. Those who grew up in an abusive situation could possibly be reminded of their childhood and associate legitimate discipline with abusive behavior. People who are being abused at home or work may not be able to be objective either. Some will leave the church when discipline is administered to others. This tests not only the resolve of those who lead and take care of the people of God, it also challenges their wisdom in applying discipline. Some matters can and should be private. Some by their nature cannot be private. Some require the church to deal with the matter as a body.

The amount of consistency and the wisdom of judgment in applying discipline vary greatly, too. Some congregations exercise church discipline habitually; others use a baseball bat when a fly swatter is needed; some use public action when private counselling is appropriate; others don’t do it at all.

Discipline is for the protection of the Gospel, the holiness of the church, and the salvation of those who receive it. Discipline is to be exercised wisely. Discipline stemming from anger and control issues does harm. On the other hand, lax discipline hurts the fellowship of God. One needs wisdom, understanding, and good technique to be a confronter of hidden reefs in the love feast. Many great books have been written about procedures and techniques for confronting controversy, conflict, and antagonists and they need to be read. This book is a rationale.

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