FAITH on FIRE: Thy Will Be Done

By Deborah Curtin

Robert's brother becomes deathly ill and is sent to a home to recuperate. A letter arrives sent in secret that eludes to the caregiver and the home being of question. His father only states that it is the sickness causing delusional concerns and nothing more. It becomes evident to Robert's mother that his brother is not safe and he agrees to rescue him unbeknownst to his father. Arriving at the home, their escape looks difficult as other boys thwart their plan until one other boy helps them. They surprise the boys and fight to win. Robert is thankful to him and they part.as new friends. The two brothers arrive home to a joyous reunion yet their father remains stoic.
This begins a family saga as the Civil War takes its toll pressing each one into different places and unplanned situations. One never knew who was friend or foe as the Northern and Southern states began to divide the country and its people.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gatekeeper Press
• Release date: Jan 12, 2020
• ISBN: 9781642375893

Deborah Curtin

Deborah Curtin is a lifelong creative graphic design artist and has used many different styles of art in her career. Writing has become a unique canvas for her and an important layer in the process of using words as another art form. She has written many human interest stories for print and currently writes as a columnist for an online publication. Today is the Day is a NaNoWriMo challenge.

Book preview

destiny.

PART 1

CHAPTER 1

Spring filled the air with a warm fresh scent as the early risers in the family met their chores without the burden of a winter coat. Robert gathered a pail of milk before letting the cows out of the barn. Anne was busy in and around the chicken coop putting eggs into a small basket. Their mother was inside the house humming a tune while attending to the weekly task of mending articles of clothing. The Reverend Winsor Bruce Wait was not at the homestead having left earlier this morning to conduct a meeting with some of the town folk. It was his habit to always be looking for more souls to save as the minister of the First Church in the town of Reading, Massachusetts. He felt a strong passion about his role as a righteous believer having the ear of God and willingly set aside the time each week for one purpose and goal. The Reverend felt the need to spend time freely throughout the week to encourage one and all to his Sunday sermon. His mission was to garner the trust of the people with his gift of words, yet more importantly it was a way to foster monetary support. As he was proud to say, Tithing and faith go hand in hand.

Upon hearing the whinny of a horse and the sounds of hoof beat in the distance, Robert looked to see the fine animal and its rider coming up the lane. The red color of the man’s coat was evidence that this was not a social visit. They would soon know the reason for his arrival. In a moment their lives would change forever.

Closing the barn door, Robert took note to return and adjust the hasp as it did not fit tight. His chore list had grown long since Charles was not here to do his share. He rounded the corner of the barn, quickened his pace and called to his sister. Upon hearing the commotion, the front door opened with a loud creak and Maria Wait stepped out. Affixed to the saddle they noticed the courier’s official Adam’s Express leather mail pouch. Halleluiah! They hoped it was another letter from the respite home as there had not been a word from Charles for some time due to the uncertainty of mail delivery. The caregiver, Mrs. Eagle, had control in the frequency of letters in and out of her home which was fondly known as ‘The Eagle’s Nest’. Maria was all the more worried not hearing one way or another from her son but now, perhaps, there was a letter from Charles.

Morning, ma’am, the courier addressed to the older woman and nodded to Anne and Robert as he reined his horse and slid from the saddle.

Is this the home of the Reverend Windsor Bruce Wait? And would you be the wife, ma’am? He looked to reaffirm the writing on the front of the envelope.

When the woman nodded, the man promptly placed the cream-colored envelope in her outstretched hand. The handwriting told her all. Charles, she said quietly and closed her eyes for a moment.

Robert swallowed hard and immediately felt uneasy. He clenched his hands trying to keep his family from noticing this reaction to the delivery. A gust of wind suddenly took the letter from their mother’s hand. He felt this to be an ominous sign as the words were yet to be read. Was Charles not safe? His brother had been away for some time. Visiting was not allowed due to the nature of his illness but letters were such a comfort, especially to their mother, as she seemed to quietly worry more so about her youngest son. This time, as Robert quickly picked up the light colored paper, it suddenly felt dark and heavy.

He handed it to her and she promptly pressed the envelope tightly over her heart as the man continued to speak. Clutching the reins and quieting the horse he added, Word has it we are to expect some important men in town this evening. ‘Been seeing more blue uniforms in and around the train station as of late. Not sure of their purpose in town, but just thought the Reverend might like to know.

Surprised by the courier’s news the letter was forgotten for a moment. Charles was sick. The family was already feeling the tension of having him away. This news was not what they expected. Men in blue uniforms could only have one message. It answered the unspoken fear that was felt around town that war was most probable and near at hand.

Turning, the man got back up onto his horse, shifted his weight in the saddle and tipped his hat. Well, you folks have a fine day. With that said he reined his horse and trotted off. As the courier’s image retreated into the distance, Maria, seemingly lost in thought, remained standing, staring into the distance with the letter still unopened.

Robert was not able to think for a moment before Anne called his name quietly but with urgency. Robert! She looked at him telling her brother in her tone to help the situation. Robert wanted to take the letter from his mother as he sensed trouble, but before he could act she abruptly tore open the envelope to reveal a single piece of paper and began to read it aloud.

Dearest family, it began. To Mother and Father, Robert and Anne,

I am missing you all but trying to gain strength each day to get well. I am grateful that Mrs. Moore, a nice lady at the house, has taken kindly to me as she has posted this letter. I do not think Mrs. Eagle would have approved of it to be sent home. I try to do my best but it is not an easy task. This letter pains me to write, Mother, as Mrs. Eagle is quite strict with us boys. I do take my medicine but it makes me not hold my meal. Sitting near the window helps as I look out on this fine day. I do miss being outside and having to stay here saddens me. I know it is for my own good. My cough is better. It hurts my chest less so.

There are things said, I have heard, from some boys with them thinking I was asleep. They come to the window one night and speak real low in the dark. I know they are there. I have seen them move. What they talk about is hurtful and I am confused. They talk killing and say, ‘Them Yankees are go’n to take some solid shot from us’. They talked war and about ‘making them pay’. What should I make of it? I know Anne and Robert cannot visit but, Mother, please come soon. My head hurts and I must lie down. Tell Father not to make judgment as I know he is well thought of in town. I trust in the Lord to see me through.

Farewell for now,

Charles

Mother folded the letter, sighed and walked silently past her children and into the house. They heard the door to the parlor open and then quietly close.

She is upset, Robert! Anne threw her hands forward pleadingly to Robert and then raised her voice. Charles should not have been telling us about those boys in the letter! He knows how Mother worries constantly about him! What does he expect from us?

Upset with her youngest brother, Anne paced back and forth, hands clenched into fists. Robert knew that her fury was not to be held in control. He let her go on until she stopped and waited for him to speak.

Anne, I don’t know what to think or say, Robert began as calmly as he could.

Angrily she interrupted and spoke. This was not the right way—in a letter! Anne unclenched her fists, and turned abruptly, tossing the fabric of her dress with a whirl. She quickly climbed the steps and let the full force of her anger show and slammed the door.

Robert heaved a sigh. It had all been going so wrong lately, and now this—the latest news from Charles. He felt caught in the middle once again. This was unlike his brother. For him to say grand words about others, well, he knew his stay there had to be awful, more so than even Anne or Mother realized. Did consumption do this to one’s head—dreaming and making up stories? Robert had to believe him. Who else did he have to trust? He heaved a great sigh pausing to contemplate all he felt at the moment and hung his head. He put his hands to his face and shook with despair. The full force of Charles’ plight and how small and weak he felt, suddenly came over him. The anger and pain welled up and spilt over.

Calling out in frustration, Robert fell to his knees. Father in Heaven, please give me the strength to help my family. See that we are worthy of your grace and give me Your will to do what I must do. Robert pledged right then and there to help his brother. He knew that the only way to do this was to go. He would go to The Eagle’s Nest. If it would be to bring him home from what he feared was a bad place then he knew he would not turn back. It was the right and only answer.

CHAPTER 2

The foreboding that Robert sensed in the letter was just the first part to try and understand Charles’ plight. He did not feel that his brother was safe under Mrs. Eagle’s care and thought of a brazen idea. He decided to call the plan, The Great Escape. Robert could not tell Anne, not just yet anyway. He did know that he could trust her to not let on to their father or mother about his intentions but he would need to decide if and when the time was right.

When the Reverend arrived home he took the upper hand and forbade anyone from reacting to a young boy’s delusional plea. He made them see this as a sign of the illness. Robert and Anne knew not to question a decision made by their father. They looked to their mother for an answer but she turned away and said not a word. They were not aware of the pain Maria felt in being told what not to do and how to feel. Winsor Bruce Wait let his family know who was in charge.

As time went by the letter and its contents remained tucked away. Delivery was infrequent and only one other letter arrived, written mostly in Mrs. Eagle’s hand. Charles added a bit but did not write more words about the boys and such talk as before. Family life went on but it felt like the sky had turned gray and the sun stayed behind the clouds. Cheerfulness was at a minimum or on some days nowhere to be found. Robert went to school and church, did his chores and tried to be happy. Anne did her best to stay practical in offering more help as well in an effort to cope. They would strive and prevail in this time of great angst. Their brother would not be forgotten.

The rumors of blue coats in town proved to be true when Robert heard talk for himself one day. It was war talk that was on everyone’s mind. There was no getting around the subject anywhere. It seemed that some of the local boys were looking to join up for the cause. Word was out that the recruiting effort was due to start soon. Trouble was brewing in this presidential election year. Everyone had their opinion about the affairs of the country; division of the Union, slavery in the South, Western Expansion, the Gold Rush and all. It came to light for Robert, by chance, one day down at the granary.

Arriving early one morning to pick up feed supplies, Robert was witness to words that would soon confirm the rumor. As he waited for his order to be put together he overheard a conversation between two men whom he recognized having seen them before in and around town. It was near to a debate, he sensed, that Oscar Cunningham was having with Lewy Brown.

I’ll tell you straight out, Cunningham stated. This upheaval that’s been all the talk has gotten me not thinking straight.

Lewy Brown thoughtfully shook his head and pursed his lips wanting to say a few words but let Oscar continue.

My freemen Negroes down at the docks are telling me there’s talk of great peril in due time. Everyone is saying the country is coming apart, tearing right up the middle. I tell you, we have to keep the business going. McClellan’s men have informed me that my ships will be outfitted as Navy in due time and told me that it was, for the sake of the Union and of these United States."

He let out a noisy bluster and added, I tell you what I told them... and he went on and on until Lewy Brown interrupted the ranting by calmly asking him about his next trip to the southern states, but more specifically, Georgia.

Oscar, now quiet, removed the seaman’s cap from his head, shook the dust off and repositioned it atop his head now at a jaunty angle before he answered his friend. Robert was in the background taking in all the talk from these two ‘old salts’. They seemed not to notice him as he stood stock still and listened with rapt awe to the latest news.

I must set sail in a month’s time. I cannot delay. The mill up in Lowell will be out of cotton soon, and I promised a shipment. Whatever the Navy wants, well, let’s see if they can wait. I got people who trust me on my word and deed. With that said Oscar Cunningham buttoned his coat and walked with Lewy to the door.

I need to see about replacing some ground tackle. I got two stevedores, Stilwell and Cate, my best, helping me with the repairs, so I best be off while the day is still young. He bade farewell to his friend stating, The next time we go in for some serious talk, it’d better be at the Cask ‘n Flagon over a pint! He gave a gruff laugh, slapped his friend on the back and headed out and on to his next task.

You take that all in, boy? Lewy Brown stated pointedly as he walked back to the stock room. He turned towards the young man who stood amongst the hay bales. Robert gave a start not wanting to admit that he was eavesdropping on manly conversation.

I couldn’t help myself, but, yes, sir. he stammered.

Well, that’s the truth of it in what you heard, the man stated. It seems this country is seeing the tide turn. How that proves to be will be determined at some point in time. It pays to be informed by reading, listening, and learning. This was said in a tone of genuine warmth and he added, Even if you are listening on the outside. Robert stood in place as Lewy Brown sized him up by looking at his frame from head to toe. Take this to note. What we need, what this great country of ours needs, is young men like yourself. You seem to be an intelligent sort. Do I have that right?

Yes, sir, I am. I mean, you do, sir, Robert said suddenly mixed up in his response.

And who may you be, young man, visiting the granary on this fine morning?

Robert did not hesitate and replied in his most proper well-schooled tone, My name is Robert Pote Wait, the oldest son of the Reverend Windsor Bruce Wait and of my mother Maria Wait.

The man took note of this and remarked, Well, well, Mr. Robert Pote Wait, it seems I do know of your father. I have heard him preach once or twice. I do believe it was last Christmas time on the streets of our fair town, specifically in front of the saloon.

Robert was taken aback and tried to stammer out an explanation.

Lewy Brown held up his hand to interrupt the boy’s attempt to correct the image of his father. No need to try to explain your father’s grace with me, he began with reflection. I could see, in the glow of the street lamp one bitter cold evening, the sincerity in what he was doing as he strolled by. He was doing the Lord’s work down among the wretched and trying to save their souls. I admired him at that moment since at one time I was one of those drunkards. I was saved from a sorry life by someone such as your father.

Robert was grateful for the conversation at this time. It was only this morning he had words with his father, angry words, mostly about Charles. He vowed to say his peace to his father when he returned as he did not want anger to be the devil’s gain any longer.

Well, young Robert, we had better be off, you and I, to get on with our day. And remember to stay the course to read, write, listen, and learn. You will make great strides with your life. You are your father’s son.

They shook hands like two men that had just closed a business deal. Lewy Brown headed out towards the main part of town. Robert stayed right where he was to try and regain his composure as he was not quite sure of what entirely had just happened. I was sent here for a reason. That’s right. He came to get grain and hay. But, no, he realized he was meant to be part of a picture that was larger than the moment. Do you believe in fate? Robert often heard his father say this at home and at church. Well, this was a moment such as what fate may have brought, he reflected. The conversations about impending calamity in the country, views on slavery, and the southern states in turmoil were exciting to overhear. He was fascinated in the way Mr. Cunningham seemed to boil over in his talk. But then the calmness that came in Mr. Brown’s revelations about his father and fate. Reading, writing, listening, and learning—it all made so much sense.

CHAPTER 3

Robert made his way home from the morning’s adventure. It seemed to be an adventure as it began with one simple intent—to buy feed supplies for the animals. The conversation he overheard between Mr. Cunningham and Mr. Brown was purely a coincidence—or was it? What transpired between him and Mr. Brown afterwards was a moment he was not prepared for. It raised many questions with few answers. Hopefully, when his father arrived home, he might shed some light on what the conversations meant. How much should I reveal? What should I keep to myself? Busying himself with tasks left undone was the best plan for the rest of the day and Robert decided to put his mind to rest only after the sun went down.

Arriving home, Robert proceeded to the barn door to fix the hasp and latch. Evidence of a long winter past was still obvious around the property and this one problem needed his attention. Gathering tools from inside on the workbench, Robert’s mind and efforts were put to the task. First, he sized up the two sides of the barn door connected by the hasp. This only needed an adjustment on one side, he stated aloud to no one in particular. He loved to figure the working of common objects. It was grand! It seemed he always had a knack to better a problem by thinking it through. As a young boy, he was given measuring tape, plumb bob, metal squares, hammering tools and the like by his father and Uncle John. These were the moments he remembered most, always being at ease and content, lost, in a sense, in his world of building and fixing and making do. Time would go by, and before long, with supper on the table, Anne or Mother would search the barn to find him, more often than not, covered in dirt or sawdust.

Back to the task at hand, Robert finished with a smile of satisfaction on his face. Working the hasp back and forth he was assured of the ease of use once again. He gathered the tools and put them back in proper order.

It was now near dusk and he knew the animals needed tending to. Robert spied Anne coming from the back door of the house. He called to her and noticed the slump of her shoulders and a slow walk. What could be wrong? She always met their evening chores with a skip in her step. As she approached, Robert could see the tears in her eyes and that she was not her usual self.

What’s wrong, Anne? Why are you upset? Is it Mother?

Anne shook her head one way, and then nodded vigorously, squeezing her eyes shut. She has not left the parlor and is rereading letters from Charles. I am very worried, Robert. Father is not home as yet and is not aware of any of our concerns. They talked back and forth and tried to reason a solution and find answers yet there were no answers only more questions.

I fear that Mother is determined to go alone to see Charles. I am much concerned for her with talk in the letter about those boys. Anne pleaded, Oh, Robert! What should we do?

Robert straightened up and firmly put his hands over hers in a gesture of sibling unity. With all that had happened to this family, he felt he was growing taller, taller in the fact of being looked up to for answers and of someone to trust. In the earnest plea from his sister, he felt pride and an inner happiness at that moment. Anne, who would not hesitate to tease her brother about his head always, being up in a cloud, had come to him for help. This is what it must feel like to be a man. Feeling humbled and a bit overwhelmed, a flood of new thoughts came to him. He would need to make decisions for the family. They were looking to him for answers. He could not falter. With their father spending more time lately away from home, Robert realized he would need to be the man of the house and the strength for the family. It was a revelation not to be pushed aside.

Robert broke free from the moment. Anne, help me finish settling the animals for the night and we will talk. Let’s not get ahead of our thinking just yet. We’ll figure this out. And with that assurance they went about putting cows, pigs, and horses into proper stalls, sties and barn. There was still a chill in the air on this late spring day and summertime was only a dream away. Each of them brought in a fair share of firewood. Several candles and lanterns were lit and in place. Robert set about to adjust the coals in the fireplace, adding wood shavings and sticks to rekindle a fire nearly out. It was not like Mother to be inattentive to this very basic necessity which caused him to take note of the situation.

Dinner would consist of cold mutton, boiled potatoes, and turnips left over from Sunday’s main meal. At least they had fresh barley bread that Anne had made earlier in the day. It was a fine consolation to top off what would be a rather meager meal. Mother still remained rather quiet and withdrawn and Robert could not engage her in further conversation. The grandfather clock in the entryway chimed the hour of six o’clock. That meant Father was due home as he was most punctual in his affairs. Dinner was a part of the day he treasured most of all. Family was very important to their father. This was heard mostly from congregation members, sometimes at a church supper or after an especially rousing Sunday sermon. As far as Robert felt, he was always somewhat stoic and stern in his manner. He stayed wearing the religious leader frock, in a sense, and all that it represented, at all times. There did not seem to be a time that Robert could recall where his father was ever free from the image.

Suddenly the door opened with a gust and a full figure filled the doorway, with the lamp light casting shadows on a bearded face. Anne hurriedly put the dinner plates onto the table, called out a greeting, and reached her father in quick strides. He leaned over and she gave him a peck on the cheek which he accepted graciously from his only daughter. She could always make a worse situation better in small gestures like this to the patriarch of the family, Robert observed. It was so much easier for Anne as the two chatted away while their father removed his coat and hat. Robert on the other hand, always felt more was expected of him, being the eldest male in the family. He sighed and quietly walked to where the two stood and greeted his father.

Son, the house is a bit draughty, what say you? Is there a short supply of firewood or did time steal your obligations today?

Father’s tone implied a failing on Robert’s part. He took this slight burden of guilt as he had always done, with a quiet, Yes, sir. But he longed to speak with him about important matters such as what was overheard today between Mr. Cunningham and Mr. Brown. Robert felt a strong need to ‘know thyself’ and to talk to others about the country, the world, and to understand his place in it. He felt that it was becoming a duty and obligation to himself and possibly his future beyond Reading. Robert hoped and wished for more learned talk to engage his thirst for knowledge.

CHAPTER 4

A new day had begun. Miss Anderton was Robert’s teacher at the Greenwood School located near the center of town. As he sat and waited for class to begin he thought back to the day when a major milestone presented itself in the classroom. Was it luck or chance? It had happened just the previous week and Robert thought back to the moment. He was sitting quietly but not paying attention to what was going on in the classroom. His thoughts were far away and his mind was full of grandiose ideas in one form or another that came with perplexed questions and probable solutions. Gazing out the window, he was not aware that Miss Anderton was trying to gain his attention.

Mr. Wait, she called out and paused a moment.

Robert, she said a bit louder but to no acknowledgement from the young man.

Mr. Robert Wait! she commanded with hands to hips and a stern expression.

The boys and girls looked up and around the room from the writing task they had been given. Johnny McInness, sitting next to Robert quickly gave him a jab whispering, Hello, now!

Startled, Robert sat up and looked around, seeing all eyes on him.

Yes, ma’am, sorry, ma’am, he stammered in reply.

Miss Anderton, now with a smile on her lips and warmth in her eyes said, Dreaming is for outside the classroom, young man. To listen and participate in the writing assignment just given is for inside the classroom. There was a slight snicker across the room as she continued. We are now finished for today, boys and girls. Please place your pens aside and cap all inkwells. Robert, please see me after our class time here today.

Books and bags were packed up and each student stepped up to form a line in the order to be dismissed. They exited the building as the end of the school day bell was rung in earnest by headmaster Hiram Sholes. It was only after waiting until everyone was out of the room that Robert stood and approached the desk of his teacher. He waited while Miss Anderton finished and put away writing tablets and placed articles in proper order on her desk. Smiling, she looked up, folded her hands and nodded for him to take a nearby seat.

Robert, she began. I have known you for some years now.

He nodded in agreement.

"I have witnessed your sense of fairness