Frosting Disaster (#7, Sweetland Witch Women Sleuths) (A Cozy Mystery Book): Sweetland Witch, #7

By Zoe Arden

It's party time in Sweetland Cove, which means murder is close at hand.

Ava Fortune and her aunts are catering the mayor's ball.

Witches, warlocks, and paranormals will all be attending.

The Mystic Cupcake is set to make the showstopping cake.

But murder strikes the week before the ball, turning Ava's life upside down.

A dangerous group of humans have just arrived on Heavenly Haven.

They want proof that paranormals exist; they're tired of being called crazy.

Is there a murderer amongst the group, or is the killer closer to home?

As this new threat unfolds, Ava must hide her magical powers while continuing to bake up a storm.

Now Ava must defend both her bakery's reputation and her life.

If she fails, there could be more than death at stake.

Just because Ava's a witch doesn't mean she knows how to stop a killer.

Can she save the ball and put a stop to the murders, or has she finally met her match?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Zoe Arden
• Release date: Feb 5, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393537441

Zoe Arden

It was from reading Agatha Christie’s mystery books that inspired Zoe to write cozy mystery novels. Zoe liked the fact that cozy mysteries are able to offer readers a form of escapism that typical detective stories can’t. Like what Marilyn Stasio, who has been the Crime columnist forThe New York TimesBook Review since the late 1980s, recently wrote: “The abiding appeal of the cozy mystery owes a lot to our collective memory, true or false, of simpler, sweeter times.” It is Zoe’s desire that her writings will evoke that nostalgic memory in all of us; those memories of the good old days. What sets Zoe apart in her writings is her fusing of Mystery with Paranormal elements, a combination which will bring about fantasies that are intriguing and engaging. Her stories contain unexpected twists and sometimes light-hearted moments that will make one smile at Zoe’s quirkiness, fun and wittiness in her writings.

Book preview

prologue

*   *   *

Excuse me, ma'am, a handsome reporter said, lurching toward Renee with his microphone. He moved so fast he nearly tripped over his feet and sent Renee flying backward. Luckily, he caught himself before he could make a fool of her.

Behind him, a photographer snapped her picture, his lights so blindingly bright that for the next minute everything she looked at was surrounded by a halo of orange-gold light. She blinked several times until it faded then shot them her widest, prettiest smile. She'd had her teeth capped a couple of years ago and was glad now that she'd made the expense.

What made you come out for this event today? the reporter asked, his eyes skimming the outside of the building where the Council on Magic and Human Affairs resided. Only, of course, to most people it looked like an ordinary building. The Council—COMHA, as she knew most witches and wizards called it— had gone through a variety of disguises over the years. Currently, they hid behind the guise of plungers. The sign out front read Plungers, Inc., and inside it looked like any normal office building. Renee knew better, though. She knew that COMHA was creating magic and doing all sorts of nasty things in there.

Renee thought the reporter's own smile was far too smarmy as he continued to press his microphone closer but she flashed her pearly whites for him anyway. If she was lucky, this might get on the nine o'clock news. If they made it on the nine o'clock news instead of buried in the four o'clock like they normally were, she might be seen by millions of people. Or at least anyone in Florida. If everyone in Florida saw them, they might get more recruits. The more recruits they got the better. So far, there were only a couple dozen of them in Mothers Against Paranormal Predators and that wasn't enough to make any real changes. That wasn't enough to stop the evil lurking in her world. 

Well, Renee said, stepping further into the light and turning to her good side for the camera, this is an issue I believe very strongly in. As does everyone here. There were general murmurs of agreement from her friends Bebe and Sally, as well as the others.

You believe strongly in stopping paranormal predators? the reporter asked, forcing back the laughter that tried to rise from his throat. He clearly wasn't taking this seriously, like most people. The more she looked at him, the less handsome she thought he looked.

That's right, Renee said, still smiling. Sally and Bebe were standing nearby. They stepped closer to her butting Vivian Henderson out of the way and almost stepping on her feet. Vivian glared at them.

There were only two cameramen and the other one had moved to the few men who had turned out for the afternoon event. They were standing in a group of four and looking suddenly uncomfortable as a female reporter asked repeatedly what made them join an organization that, up until now, had been comprised only of women.

Do you believe as strongly in what this group stands for as the women who started it? the female reporter asked, her blond hair bouncing on her shoulders.

Err... the men said and shrugged. One of them, the bravest of the group, looked around and pulled at his collar, which appeared to be burning his face, or maybe it was the way passersby were staring at him. Someone mentioned free food, he said meekly.

The female reporter turned away with a smirk on her face and found her photographer's ear. In a low voice that Renee still caught—she had expert hearing thanks to her years as a single mother; it was a sense she'd had to develop when she'd caught Damon trying to sneak out of his room in the eighth grade—heard the woman say, I told you we were dealing with a bunch of looney toons. Even their own members don't take this group seriously. If Bill gives me one more screwball assignment like this I'm leaving and going to Channel Five.

Renee's face burned brighter. She looked away from the small group of men—only four of them had come out anyway, no great loss there; MAPP didn't need men to be legitimate— and realized that Bebe and Sally had sidled up directly next to her. They were flashing their smiles for the camera still pointed in her direction. Vivian tried to squish in between them but Bebe and Sally blocked her out. Vivian was quite pretty and if she got in the mix, the cameramen were likely to focus on her and forget about everyone else. They squeezed her out and Vivian stomped off, joining a different cluster of MAPP members whom she could complain to.

I know that people don't take Mothers Against Paranormal Predators seriously, Sally said, and Renee heard all the lookie-loos begin to crack up. She had not expected quite the crowd they were getting. This was far more people than usually came out for their protests. She supposed it was because they were in a busy part of the city, in a busy part of the afternoon. Dean Lampton, the wizard who ran COMHA, was still inside the building working. She'd seen him peek out of one of the windows earlier.

Sally was still talking, hogging all the spotlight. What was worse, she was doing a poor job of explaining their organization. She was making them sound even crazier than people already thought they were. Witches and wizards are inherently evil, you see. And they're living amongst us right now. My mother was killed by a paranormal predator when I was a child. But MAPP is determined to—

Renee could take no more of it. She cut Sally off. "We're going to prove to the world that the supernatural does exist. That paranormal predators are a real threat to our children. Why, my own son..." She cut herself off, suddenly uncertain if she wanted to reveal this part of her life. Maybe it was too much.

Yes? the male reporter prompted her, his eyes eager.

Renee let out a breath.

My husband and I used to live on an island full of paranormal predators. Heavenly Haven.

You mean the tourist island just off the coast here? he asked.

Yes but it's much more than a tourist hotspot. My husband was... m-murdered by a wizard in Sweetland Cove, Renee said, tears springing to her eyes. They used an oobleck spell on him and he turned into a pile of goo.

Several people in the crowd began to call out questions.

What kind of goo?

What color was it?

What's an oobleck spell?

"Did you say goo or glue?"

The female reporter had joined the male one now. Both cameras were pointed at her. The reporters were nodding sympathetically, their eyes glowing with humor. They were finding this funny; her misery was entertainment to them. She had to make them understand.

Years later, my son became... involved with a witch. She cringed at the memory. It still made her ill to think about it.

Damon had actually introduced her to Ava Fortune as if it were perfectly natural to date a witch who could conjure drinks out of thin air and could probably slice your head off with a wave of her hand. She'd made her feelings known and had been pleased when Damon had cut off all ties with that woman and moved off of Heavenly Haven altogether. That island was nothing but a breeding ground for the paranormal and the central focus of MAPP's investigations.

Your son is dating a witch? the female reporter asked.

"Was dating a witch, Renee corrected her. He realized he was making a huge mistake, and now he's involved with a nice human girl." She garnered sympathetic looks from the other members of MAPP, though the crowd was looking at her as if she'd said arsenic was good for you.

Was this on Heavenly Haven, too? the same reporter asked, jotting something down.

Yes, Renee said.

What would you do if your son started dating a witch again? the male reporter asked, working hard to keep his face neutral and the laughter to a minimum.

I'd have no choice. I'd have to kill her.

A man's voice cut loudly through the people who were lining the path to COMHA's doors, trying to get seen on television. Out of my way, he shouted, irritation evident in the way he pushed past people, shoving them out of the way like they were used Kleenex. He stopped in front of the cameras, in front of her.

Dean Lampton, Renee said, pursing her lips.

Mrs. Tellinger, Dean said through gritted teeth. I kindly ask that you remove your little group from our front lawn.

We have a right to be here, Renee said, squaring off her shoulders.

A camera flashed and Dean's face immediately lit up into a politician's smile. He turned away from her and toward the cameras. My company, Plungers, Inc, employs nearly fifty thousand workers here in Florida.

That sounds like a lot of plungers, the male reporter said.

We've expanded; we now make toilet bowl brushes as well. He grinned as he said this and everyone seemed to eat it up. We don't know why we have become the target of Mothers Against Paranormal Predators—

Because you’re paranormal and you're predators! Bebe shouted to cheers of Here! Here! from the rest of MAPP.

Dean continued as if he hadn't heard her.

—but I assure you that we are no more magical than... than the cereal manufacturer next door. He nodded in the direction of a ten-story office building on the other side of Plungers, Inc. Our main warehouses and manufacturing centers are not far from here. If any of you would like a tour of our new plunging facilities, I'm more than happy to show you. We have new, workable test toilets in our warehouses so that we can ensure quality control. We simply have our employees do their business as usual using the test toilets, and then we check to see how our plungers and brushes stand up to everything.

Several people made faces. The female reporter's eyebrows drew together. Ew, she said.

Well, it's not a pretty job but someone's got to do it, Dean said. Now, who would like a tour? You can try out the plungers for yourselves.

When no one accepted Dean's invitation, he turned and looked at Renee triumphantly.

You may fool these people, Renee shouted, but MAPP's members know better. You are nothing but... but... She looked desperately around as the crowd began to disperse, tired of toilet talk. Without the crowd, the reporters seemed less interested. Or maybe they were just worried that Dean would keep inviting them to plunge some toilets. They were turning away.

He walked closely up to her. She could smell his bitter, stale breath as he spoke calmly, almost quietly. Your organization is a nuisance but you will never be a threat.

Then why even bother to deny our claims? If no one's paying attention, then what does it matter what we say?

Dean's eyes shifted uneasily and she knew he was more anxious than he was letting on.

Your organization, and I use the word loosely, Dean said snidely, consists of a couple dozen members with zero credibility and no infrastructure. Do you even know who's in charge of your group? Because every time I turn around, it seems like there's four or five of you who think you're in command.

Sally's face lit up red. Renee, Bebe, and I started this group together, she shouted. We're all in charge.

That's right, Bebe said. And Vivian helped a lot, too.

Vivian's got enough to do with the PTA, let alone MAPP, Sally snapped. No one here wants here wants a leader who can't make time to lead.

Well, there's also Mary and Tatum... Bebe continued, counting off women on her fingers as Dean shook his head, wearing a smile that said I told you so.

Renee bit her bottom lip. Dean had a point. She liked to think of herself as a leader but so did Bebe and Sally and a few others. Vivian Henderson came up beside them.

"Renee's in charge, Vivian said and shot Sally a look so sour it made Renee's throat tighten. The new president of Mothers Against Paranormal Predators."

Oh, Renee said, looking around. The members of their group had closed in around her. I'm not sure that... I mean, I would love to but shouldn't we vote on it?

Who here thinks that Renee should be president? Vivian shouted. Two-thirds of the group raised their hands. That's the majority, Vivian said. That makes it official.

Renee looked to Sally and Bebe, who were smiling a little too gleefully. She knew they would each have preferred to be president themselves but two-thirds was two-thirds. Who was she to argue with that?

Well, then, Renee said, I guess that makes Sally and Bebe co-vice presidents. Their grins turned into something more natural and Renee felt herself relax.

Dean Lampton rolled his eyes. It doesn't matter, he said. The reporters were getting into their vans now. You'll never prove anything. Not that there's anything to prove.

I'll prove that the paranormal is real if it's the last thing I do, Renee said and knew she sounded like a cliché.

Dean shook his head and went back inside Plungers, Inc. Renee turned to address her group. She was the president now. And she wouldn't let them down.

*   *   *

0 1

*   *   *

I looked up as the bell chimed above the bakery's door and Randall Coogan walked in. He smiled politely, his eyes moving eagerly to the display cases. He always looked like an excited kid when he came in to the Mystic Cupcake, even though he was pushing thirty. Cakes and cookies often had that effect on people.

Mystic Cupcake wasn't your typical bakery, at least not compared to human bakeries. We sold the standard bakery items—cookies, cakes, cupcakes, etc.—but everything was infused with a dose of magic. Even the items we sold to human tourists usually contained magic; they just didn't know it.

Natalie Vargas glanced at Randall then continued with what she'd been saying. If it had been Lottie Mudget or someone else who'd entered, Natalie would have drawn them into the conversation but Randall wasn't the sort to gossip, so Natalie had no use for him.

Ava, I'm telling you, Mothers Against Paranormal Predators is dangerous. The only thing that might stop them is... She leaned in closer to me and my aunts, laying her arm on the counter by the cash register. She lowered her voice enough to let us know what she was about to tell us was a secret but kept it loud enough so that anyone within earshot could still hear. According to what I've heard, MAPP's members are on the verge of getting locked up in an institution. People think they're crazy.

My father, Eli, set a tray of chocolate bear claws with sweet dream extract on top of the counter and turned to Natalie. I seriously doubt that any human judge is going to lock up a bunch of women for behaving neurotically. He'd have to lock up women everywhere if that happened.

My aunts, Trixie and Eleanor, both threw cinnamon rolls at him. They bounced off his shoulder and landed on the floor.

If women are neurotic, Trixie said, it's men who've made us that way. She tilted her chin up and grunted at him. Her mood ring began to glow a neon purple, a warning that she was about to erupt.

Eli chuckled. I was only joking, he said, picking up the rolls.

Tone that ring down, will you? Aunt Eleanor said to her sister, holding up a hand to shield her eyes from the multicolored lights that were now filling the bakery. Trixie closed her eyes, took a breath, and her ring settled back to its normal rose color.

Ever since Trixie had discovered mood jewelry, it had become increasingly impossible to get any work done at the bakery without flashing lights and rainbow colors. That was one powerful little mood ring she had, and she wore it almost every day now. Eleanor was getting ready to put a stop to it and ban mood jewelry entirely; I didn't blame her. Sometimes, with the way Trixie acted, you'd have thought she was in her twenties instead of her early forties. It was nice that she could be so carefree but sometimes she was a little too carefree. Especially when it came to business. At least Eleanor was there to balance her out.

If my sources are right, MAPP is a real threat. One we need to take seriously, Natalie said, pulling herself away from the counter and circling the bakery like a vulture. Her hands were planted firmly on her hips and she pursed her lips tightly as she straightened her back. She didn't like being contradicted on her gossipy statements. The fact that she was frequently wrong did nothing to deter her from spreading her rumors.

Randall looked at Natalie as she brushed past him. How can MAPP be a threat if they're locked up somewhere? he asked, curious.

Natalie let out an exasperated sigh and threw her hands in the air. Because they won't be locked up forever, and when they get out, they'll be angry. And angry people are dangerous people.

Oh, Randall said and turned back to the display cases. Are those chocolate bear claws? he asked, pointing to the tray my dad had set down. I'll try one of those today, I think.

My dad rang Randall up and handed him the bear claw in a small paper bag. Randall devoured it almost immediately.

This is fantastic! he said, almost choking on it he ate it so fast. His mouth was still full when he opened it to talk. His face turned bright pink and a dreamy look came over his eyes. Me, Trixie, and Eleanor exchanged a look. It always pleased us to see people enjoying our creations.

Trixie, beaming now, her mood ring a deep yellow-gold, turned back to Natalie. If you're going to stay in here all day without buying something, then I'd rather discuss the mayor's ball. Have you heard anything about who's going to get the catering job? Is it us?

I noted that both my dad and Eleanor leaned eagerly forward, anticipation shining on their faces. Even though Natalie's intel was often wrong, it wasn't always wrong. Natalie seemed to have a sixth sense about certain things, like parties. When it came to who was going to throw the biggest and best parties and what bakery or restaurant would be catering said parties, Natalie got it right about two-thirds of the time.

Natalie rolled her eyes. Otis is still deciding, she told them and their faces fell. The mayor's ball was the biggest event of the year in Sweetland. We'd always done it but that was when we were the only bakery in town. Now there was Sweets n' Treats to contend with, and nothing was set in stone.

Trixie gently shoved Eleanor's shoulder. You're married to Otis’ best friend. Can't you get Sheriff Knoxx to put in a good word for us?

Eleanor's cheeks pinkened. Zane is Otis’ former boss, not his best friend. And I won't ask him to do something that would put him in an awkward position. Just because Otis used to be one of his deputies doesn't mean he'll listen to him now anyway.

Eleanor started wiping down the glass cases, ignoring Trixie's