Interview with Rumpelstiltskin Junior: The true love story

By Lilly Fröhlich

Everyone knows Rumpelstiltskin - but do you know his son?

I, Emma Valentino, am 14 years old and almost a normal teenager. Actually, I had planned to hand over an invitation to my dream boy Steven for my fancy-dress party. Brave enough, I had asked my aunt on a night of a full moon to drive me to his house because in the daytime, the heartthrob of my school was constantly mobbed by that stupid Anastasia and her girlfriends.

But then, it was all quite different. Suddenly, I sat in an isolated cabin in front of a shock-headed dwarf, who claimed to be Rumpelstiltskin's son.
Rumpelstiltskin Junior was fed up that his father went down in the fairytale history of the 'humanlings' as a villain. And, he wanted to get away with prejudices. As a quid pro quo for the interview, he promised me a date with Steven.

Nevertheless, the fairytale of Rumpelstiltskin, the revengeful King Laurentz, the bored Princess Anna, the superior Giant Maximus and the streetwise 'Pixian' Jakob had more than just one surprise in store.

And so, I tumbled into a fairytale adventure instead of a date with Steven.

• Language: English
• Publisher: TWENTYSIX
• Release date: Jan 6, 2020
• ISBN: 9783740721015

Lilly Fröhlich

As a lawyer and journalist, Nicole Schwalbe has been working as an author of children's and young adult books under the pseudonym "Lilly Fröhlich" for many years. She war born and raised in Hamburg and moved to Saxony with her family many years ago. She invented the Series of Stupid Books in order to support people with painful subjects in their life no matter if personal or juridically problems. As an expert for life enlightenment, she has placed her focus primarily on lively enlightenment literature, because enlightenment does not have to be bone-dry. Mia and her little penguin Fridolin have already made it to the Vienna State Opera and their volume "Andersrum - Mia and the Rainbow Family" is recommended for schools by the Working Group for Young People's Literature and Media (AJuM) of the GEW and the German Lesbian and Gay Association (LSVD).

Book preview

fairy

The invitation

I did not have any time to ponder why I had been so undaunted by death to go to see the heartthrob of my school right out in the sticks in the middle of the night. But as a typical Cinderella I was not brave enough to give Steven my invitation card for my fancy-dress party in broad daylight. The punishment of my nightly pass followed swiftly - quasi by racing feet.

Something hairy with extremely yellow eyes and knife-sharp teeth was chasing after me across half of the continent. I knew that at the place of my ancestors were the most poisonous and dangerous animals but I had never seen this creature here in any biology book.

And it scared the crap out of me!

In my panic, I had completely lost my bearings. I did not even remember any more where at this god-forsaken spot with zero hiding places my favorite aunt had parked her car in order to wait for me. Due to her penchant for romantic, we headed out in a night of a full moon.

Though I was an athletic ace, after a few hundred meters my lungs were shortly before bursting while my heart had to pound that quickly that I would have blasted any ECG.

But the next tree root was supposed to be my salvation - at least physically since I sprawl. At first, I felt the deepest gratitude that I did not fall into a nest of bulldog ants because their poison was even able to kill an adult. And even though my blood consisted of chocolate, the venom was for sure able to eliminate me within a few minutes.

I was just about to bob up when the creature caught me up and landed on my back like a heavy rock.

»Phew!« was squeezed out of my lungs.

My last hour had come, flashed through my mind when I felt its claws in my back.

So, while I waited for its fangs to dig into my flesh during the last seconds of my life, the sweetest pictures of Steven sped past my mind’s eye. He was the grooviest boy of the whole universe with the most beautiful smile in the world. When Steven smiled, the ice melted at the South Pole. He had a dark tousle-head and the most extraordinary eyes I had ever seen. On some days, they were as blue as a glacier, and then they glowed as yellow as a buttercup. And he had muscles like a bear, although, he was fourteen years old - just like me. The only problem with my classmate was that he was even shier than me. To start a chat with him was approximately as easy as having a cup of tea with the Queen.

And now I was supposed to die in the tender years of a teenager without the chance to kiss my dream boy?

This thought aroused my spirit.

I had to end this nightmare.

Thus, I mobilized my last forces and unseated the offender.

»Wait, Emma! I just want to talk to you,« his male voice croaked.

I stumbled.

Did that creature with its nasty snout use human language?

And it knew my name?

I scanned the critter which presumably looked a hundred times worse due to the darkness.

Was that the preferred way of inviting someone to a cosy little chat with tea and chocolate?

»Talking?« I said out of breath.

The thing in front of me heftily nodded and skidded its huge ears around like elastic planes. That was pretty much the last thing I perceived on this moon-gravid night under the open sky, then, I collapsed completely overextended.

Made-up story

Once upon a time…

…there was a Miller’s daughter whose father showed off to the King about his daughter being able to spin gold out of straw…

»That is how the fairy tale starts but it is totally made up. I certainly have to know this,« the humpbacked manikin in front of me said with his hoarse voice, snuffling. »I really feel awkward about that. I am absolutely jazzed, and then, I have always got a runny nose. I beg your pardon!« Since his icicles-schnoz was continually dripping, he took his shirt in order to furtively dab his damp nose.

»My father landed on the earth countless years ago and thus, I exactly know what was going on here.«

I fished a tissue out of my backpack and handed it to him.

Runny noses drove me crazy - no matter if in humans or in…well, whatever sat in front of me.

Finding that out, I intended to do since my opposite had asked me - like a huntsman - for an interview. He wanted to get rid of the prejudices about his father.

He had promised to let me go as soon as I would have written everything down. Withal, my liberty was not that important to me at all. Much more encouraging was the fact, that he promised me a date with Steven - howsoever, he wanted to accomplish that!

His extremely haired face lightened up when he got sight of the piece of cellulose. Gratitude blazed out of his yellow eyes and almost made him cute. »Most kind of you, Emma, thanks!« He blew his nose noisily.

I eyed the ugly dwarf in front of me. From time to time, he stealthily picked his nose, sitting on an oversized armchair with his knobbly knees.

»I wonder if you could postpone picking your nose?« I asked hesitantly. The mere thought of these green stick-on bowls pressed my dinner upwards my gullet.

Surprised, the full-grown hop-o’-my-thumb raised the fur above his eyes which vaguely reminded of eyebrows.

»Why? It fuels my trains of thought. And you want to know a lot, don’t you?«

»Well, actually, you approached me because you were looking for someone to write down the story of your father correctly«, I replied.

»That’s true! Alright, I stop that if it calms you. But I am allowed to knead my ears, ain’t I? Otherwise, I will get too tired.«

»Of course.«

His ears were just about the limit!

They were at least thirty centimeters long and looked as if the creator turned them around the wrong way - either out of fun or because he took a cup too much.

The fur, you would rather suspect at the top, covered the bottom side and the thin skin swirled up above as if someone blew at it with a hair dryer.

The longer head hair, which peeped out of his fur, was balding - whether this was because of his age I could only guess. I had never met a being who has claimed to be a few thousand years old.

To be exact, I also never ran across someone who has impersonated himself as an alien, even though creatures from other galaxies had always attracted me magically. I was the same freak like my Mom.

While other girls in my class rather dreamed of princesses I was keen on monstrous villains, the uglier the better. Withal, I did not look like I was bored by princesses - on the contrary. I myself had hair like a Haflinger horse, eyes like a blue butterfly and an absolute angelic face. I regularly drove my stern grandmother Ilse from Germany to insanity because I did not let me squash into a princess costume only because she wanted to have a souvenir photo.

No, I preferred going to Fasching as a ›Wookie‹ - the most famous of this over and over furred bunch is ›Chewbacca‹ from the ›Star-Wars‹ Episodes. Children’s photos always showed me with a monster suit since I did not even need the carnival time for cladding. Fortunately, my Mom was as freaky as I, thus, I loved our fancy-dress parties above all.

And exactly to such a costume party, I had planned to invite Steven. I had to booze Bach flowers extracts in order to give myself liquid courage. I had to ring the changes with my favorite aunt about all questions which could took me by surprise. And if my bodily ›super-nervosity-functions‹ had not miserably let me down, I would have been completely relaxed. But I was not!

My aunt had parked the car three blocks away from the house of my heartthrob and I had marched in the direction of Armageddon shaky-legged.

Super bravely, I had rung the doorbell at Steven’s house and had waited prancing on the porch.

But before I could have handed the invitation card over to Steven I had been surprised by this weird something in front of me. Thus, I could have only let the card slip onto the doormat because afterwards, I had been chased through the nightly area. I only remembered these two reflector eyes and finally, I woke up in this strange cottage in the presence of this creature who claimed to be Rumpelstiltskin’s son.

»Why did you actually ask me of all people? I mean, there are about seven billion humans.«

»But you are the only fairy tale girl who loves villains.

And you adore my father.«

That was true! I loved myths above all. I inherited that from my Mom. My child’s room was plastered with pictures of Rumpelstiltskin from my Mom. She has collected them from everywhere: China, Japan, Germany, England…and she painted them herself.

A huge picture of Rumpelstiltskin flaunted in our living room - much to my grandmother Ilse’s chagrin. He was our biggest idol of all and we both longed feverishly by birth for getting acquainted with him one day.

But face-to-face with the offspring of the true Beelzebub I shivered with fear.

»Unfortunately, the fairy tale is craptastically told and absolutely illogical,« I interjected. »My Mom had always read the crummy three pages out to me. Most often, I had wished to be able to note down the whole story. But of course I had also wanted to meet my hero personally and not his son.«

»That is why we are sitting her, sweetie! The world of the ›humanlings¹‹ shall get to know the truth about Rumpelstiltskin so that my father will not go down in history as a little devil.«

Rumpelstiltskin’s son was extremely well-built and had astonishingly well-trained muscles. As though as if he pumped tons of iron each day. His figure reminded me of Steven’s steely body but of course my heartthrob was a few heads taller than the dwarf in front of me.

Almost critically, his eagle owl eyes looked daggers at me. »I know exactly what you are thinking, Emma!« He cocked his head and studied my bottom. »But if you already analysis my body we should not overlook yours, should we?« He giggled. »You are really admirably pretty, especially if you consider that you love ugly creatures. And although you are the most athletic girl in the school your bottom could really serve as a mini-UFO-landing field.

You know that, don’t you? My Dad’s space capsule would have had enough room on it.«

I rolled my eyes.

I was fully cognizant of the fact that my backside was pretty expanding. My stupid classmate Anastasia, who always watched like a hawk that I did not get too close to Steven, constantly teased me having a ›buffalo hip‹.

»Yes,« I only said, glancing at my notes. »But now, we sit together because I interview you and not because we wanted to talk about my weight, do we?«

Curiously, my opposite bent forward staring at my questionnaire I had scribbled in a hurry.

»By the way, who is supposed to be able to read this griffonage? I mean, with that you will never hook your prince, dearest!« He again snuffled noisily.

For the first time since I met this little alien, I smiled. I felt my nervousness departing out of me. He seemed to be more innocuous than his reputation - or his father’s.

Of course, I did not want to create the impression that I was a yellowbelly. But I could not deny a tang of fear in the presence of him. Particularly, since I was somewhere in the deepest forest in an isolated cottage all alone with the son of the individual which people assigned to the devil for hundreds of years.

»Do you think I would have a slight chance with Steven?«

I replied. My heart throbbed that loudly that it threatened to blast my tiny hairs in my inner ear.

My opposite started to smirk, exposing a number of sharp sprockets which gleamed mellowly and where coated with brown spots. I guess he thought nothing of dental care - I immediately noticed that as the granddaughter of a dentist.

»You have not hooked him as yet, sweety, but I know from him that he is secretly crazy about you.«

»What? STEVEN is CRAZY about ME?«

My heart almost stopped. Almost immediately, an army of happiness hormones whooshed through my pubertal body and let me nervously wriggle about on the sofa. I would have loved nothing better than to grill him about Steven.

»But he always avoids me,« I remarked.

»Because he loves you, Emma! That is what the humanlings say, isn’t it?«

»He is lovestruck? How do you know?« I whispered stunned.

Quintillions of questions went haring about in my head.

My body was about to bust a hormone explosion.

He put me off. »We are kinda congenial.«

I frowned.

MY Steven, the prettiest guy ever, was the ›soulmate‹ of this…creature?

»All right, shall we start with the interview?« I quickly asked in order to get his mind off this subject. The sooner I had written down everything, the sooner I would meet Steven being able to confront him with that - in case, I would work up the courage what I doubted. I guess, I would be much spunkier if he was as ugly as Rumpelstiltskin - or his son.

»Lastly, you hailed from the Underworld to FINALLY bring light into the world of fairy tales,« I added, faintly smiling.

A smile was always good - it opened doors, my Italian grandma constantly claimed. And she was ALWAYS right.

My opposite laughed and while his ears had floppily lain on his shoulders for a short time, they now bobbed up as with a bat. »Of course! What do you want to know?«

I cleared my throat. »What is the right name of your father?«

Perplexed, the junior looked at me. »No kidding?

THAT is your first question? Not ›where do you have your gorgeous muscles from‹ or ›how many heroics has your father performed‹? Only ›what is the right name of your father‹? I thought it is well-known what’s his name after the fairy tale teller of this world have babbled everything out.«

»Well, I assumed that ›Rumpelstiltskin‹ was not his correct name. I thought that it is rather a mean expression for his,« I coughed slightly, »extraordinary looks. Didn’t you say that he comes from another planet? What language did they speak there? What kind of names did the inhabiters have? Definitely not ›Hinnerk‹, ›Horst‹ and Co., did they?« I tried to specify.

I softly laughed about my own joke but my opposite just looked at me critically. »Well, yes, we do come from another planet, honey. But that does not mean that we live under a rock. And of course, ›Rumpelstiltskin‹ is not his birth name. Otherwise, I would not sit here.« He snuffled noisily. »The first idiot - an aggressive soldier who wanted to extinguish him - might have thought it is a good idea to give this little uglyling² a skanky name. Human-lings believe that creatures with such appellations perpetrate misdeeds. But that’s enough! I want to get rid of the prejudices against his person.« Proud, he crossed his arms in front of his thickly furred breast. He only wore a slop so that one could see his strong growth of hair at his upper body.

»So, if Rumpelstiltskin is not his real name, what is his birth name then?« I repeated my question, overconscientious. This would be a rocky road to a date with Steven!

My opposite smiled from one ear to the other. »All inhabitants of Violentia had numbers. That is why they loved nicknames. And my father liked the name ›Rumpelstiltskin‹.«

»And how do I call you? Rumpelstiltskin Junior?«

»All humanlings have a fore- and a surname. Thus, it is ›Mr Stiltskin‹, please! And as soon as we will have boozed sump water, you may call me ›Rumpel‹, sweetie!«

»Of course! So I note ›Rumpel‹ as your prename and ›Stiltskin‹ as your family name.«

»Emma, it was meant as a joke! Just call me Rumpelstiltskin. Without ›junior‹ or such a foofaraw.«

»All right.« I wiped away the sweat off my forehead. I got hold of a real comedian who did not look like it at all. »As what were you born?«

»As a Violentian³, of course.«

Embarrassed, I smiled. »I probably might have used a not-quite-correct term, Mr Stiltskin, ahem, Rumpelstiltskin. I meant with what name were you blessed at your birth.« I faltered. »Or rather with what number?«

Rumpelstiltskin Junior disdainfully clicked his tongue.

»Sweetie, do you think it is a ›blessing‹ to be ›Prince 14-002‹? Or ›Prince 13-003 from Violentia‹ like my father? It is due to my grandmother that we got human-ling names. She loved everything which came from the planet of the humanlings. She affectionately called my father ›Prince Hinnerk‹. And since my Dad wanted to continue this tradition he dubbed me ›Prince Gotthorst‹.«

Was he shitting me?

I looked at him in disbelief.

Did he try to make me believe that he and his father were seriously named ›Hinnerk‹ and ›Gotthorst‹?

Weren’t there a million other names, and what was more, even nicer boy’s names on this globe you could choose as a nickname?

I feigned a smile - in order to keep the door open.

»Interesting names. Do you have siblings?«

»Yes. Samira, actually Princess 14-003 and Kyra, Princess 14-001. I and my siblings are very close even though Kyra is trying for ages to prevent this interview. But this week, she is very busy, thus, we have to make full use of the little time we have.«

»Why does she not want us to talk with each other?«

»She is afraid that the humanlings dissects us in laboratories and martyr us.«

»I see! But it is rude to put yourself first. It must be ›my siblings an I‹,« I corrected him.

Immediately, I felt like my super-lecturing grandmother Ilse. She was constantly rectifying me when she visited us. »The donkey names himself last,« I explained because he looked at me almost dizzily.

»I am no donkey, so why should I name myself last?«

»That is as the phrase goes at ›humanlings‹.«

»But I am a prince. Prince 14-002, and even though I have an extremely strong growth of hair, I am no animal,« he added slightly peeved. He pointed at my notes. »But not everyone has to know that I am a prince. You can as well drop that!«

»But as a prince your are noble like an eagle. And ›humanlings‹ love nobility.«

»I am not noble like an eagle! I come from a royal family and not from an eagle family. First, you compare me with a donkey and now with an eagle. Tsk! I have neither a beak nor clutches.« He raised his feet which were so madly deformed that they were not similar to any beings, let alone assignable biologically - and I doubt they fit into a neat pair of shoes.

My opposite shook his head so that his fluttering long-ears wiggled threateningly. »Duckie, don’t worry! My ears are sessile even though they look like inverted paper gliders!«

He pointed with his almost twenty inches long fingers at his feet. »And THESE,« he made a break heavy with meaning, »do not look like your feet, I know that. You humanlings have really strange extremities. Much too short fingers which are unable to get into any body openings…« He clicked his tongue disdainfully. »And your feet do not look a quarter as stable as ours. I could be a tree because they are so considerably rooted. I do NOT fall down!«

I cleared my throat. »Well, me neither…«

»THAT is fully lied, Emma!«

Appalled, I halted.

Rumpelstiltskin Junior smiled meaningfully. »When you peed in front of our door at our school excursion you very well fell down because you thought that the little devil would catch you to bring you into the Underworld. Thus, your peculiar feet cannot be SO stable.«

I blushed - one of my easiest exercises. One just had to look at me and I got red cheekies.

The matter with our excursion was a cringeworthy paroxysm of my much too distinct phantasy.

Actually, it was my Mom’s fault!

If she had not told me that Rumpelstiltskin had his Underworld front door in the forest and you should never ever pee in front of it, I would not have shouted half of the excavation camp down when the stupid Anastasia threw a foggy bullet in front of my feet with the words ›with best regards from Steven‹.

»So, what family do you come from?« I tried to expel the thought.

His face darkened. »I am the youngest grandson of the royal family Ozra from Violentia - a heap of scapegraces!

My grandfather, King 10-001 from Violentia, stood on the sidelines when his planet was erased without even evacuating it.«

»You are out of sorts with your family?«

»Yeah!«

»Why? I mean if a planet explodes, the King might not have any chance to prevent that, does he?«

»My grandparents let Violentia wither to a party planet.

And when a war from the neighbored planet was in store, they simply let it explode. Boom!« He blew his nose noisily.

A whole party planet sounded somehow alluring for me!

Dude! You could have gotten up to a lot there!

Awesome!

»Where was Violentia vaguely?« I asked as sensitive as possible. He seemed to be very excited right now. »I have to confess that I have never heard of that place before.«

»That’s hardly surprising, Emma! You humanlings only use ten percent of your brain. How should you know then that there are googol quadrillion planets, stars and beings outside your mini-itsy-bitsy sun system?«

»Well, my grandfather says that is a ten-percent-myth. We humans rather use almost all of our brain cells because otherwise we would have never survived,« I objected.

My opposite put me off. »Be that as it may, sweetie! Even though you do not have to keep it in mind I will give you directions. Well…« he took a deep breath. His head turned purple which really looked somehow threateningly.

Anxious, I pulled away.

Rumpelstiltskin Junior picked his longest finger into his cheeks and let his lips vibrate. Now, his face got green and finally it became rose again. »I beg your pardon! I am always very nervous talking about my family! So, Violentia is the planet of the long-fingers.« He pointed at his oversized fingers. »It sits approximately northeastern from your moon. But,« he raised his hand, »You do not simply drive straight ahead. No, if you want to fly from the planet of my ancestors to the Earth you got to pass by the blue Milky Way, cross the green sun and at the Stone Street you have to be SLIGHTLY careful.«

»Is the Stone Street dangerous? It sounds so harmless.«

I should not have asked that!

My opposite choked tremendously. While he coughed, his hair roots indeed spitted out little gold threads after a few seconds.

My eyes were in no way inferior to those of a tarsier - these monkeys with the huge pop eyes.

Rumpelstiltskin’s species could NOT SPIN GOLD OUT OF STRAW?

They SPITTED it OUT like a lava spouting volcanic!

How cool is that!

I had almost guffawed but I could bite my tongue just in time.

He was a veritable goldmonsterling!

As soon as he had calmed down again, he dryly said:

»Miserable gold. I have to dispose of that waste. Or do you want to take it? You humanlings are keen on that stuff, aren’t you?«

»If you don’t object I would love to dispose of your gold,« I proposed.

Namely directly into my piggybank!

Awesome!

My next chocolate shopping binge was save!

Nah, what did I say: I could buy the whole world!

I could already see my own TV flickering in my room, next to it a fat tablet and my wardrobe would be filled with the newest designer clothes. Of course, I would also have the best mobile in the world.

Anastasia and her silly cows would go green with envy!

Rumpelstiltskin Junior nodded. »Emma, I see you never flew through the cosmos. How can you ask whether the Stone Street is dangerous?« He coughed once again and spitted some more gold which landed directly in front of my feet like little spaghetti. Before he could kick the gold threads away, I collected them and stowed them in my backpack.

»Nope,« I replied much too loud. »How should I fly through the universe without a spaceship?«

Rumpelstiltskin Junior wrinkled his nose. »So the house of your parents cannot fly? It looks like a starship.«

I regretfully shook my head. My Dad had built the house in the shape of the ›Enterprise‹ for my Mom. It was his declaration of love for her. But it was firmly fixed in the grounds. And that was a good thing! I was not sure whether I would want to fly through the slightly cooled off cosmos with it. I guess my angelic face would not have survived that.

»Unfortunately, it is only a house.«

»I could change that. Shall I bewitch it?« Goldmonsterling Junior offered generously.

Horrified, I started to cough.

Patiently, he watched me until I could breathe again.

»It is amazing that you humanlings to not spit out gold while coughing.«

»By the way, your father probably could not spin gold out of straw?« I dare to advance.

Rumpelstiltskin Junior gloated. »Do we look like old ladies sitting in front of a spinning wheel?«

Was his question a honey trap?

Uncertain, I looked at him. »Um, no.«

»No Violentian was able to convert STRAW into gold!

We did not even had straw because we ate up the cereals before they were mellow.«

»So you cannot spin gold like it was claimed in the fairy tale?«

»Nope! Or do I look like an alchemist?«

»Um, no,« was all I could think of. »So, alchemists can spin gold?«

Rumpelstiltskin Junior made a gesture of refusal. »Nah, what do you think? They would like to. But as far as I am informed, humanlings have to steal gold out of nature.«

»Humans steal the gold? And I have always thought you can find gold and are allowed to keep it.«

»Emma, you still believe in the Easter bunny, don’t you?

I had just talked to Santa. He died laughing that little humanlings children seriously believe that rabbits lay chocolate eggs in order to deliver them in huge baskets.

Do rabbits look like chocolate chicken which are able to carry heavy loads?«

»Rather not,« I said vaguely.

»See? The Easter bunny as a chocolate supplier is an invention of the humanlings.«

I looked at my notes. »So your father is the last offspring of the royal house of the Violentians who dared to fly through the Stone Street?«

»We have already said that, cutie!«

»Good. But how comes that your father left his planet all alone? Wouldn’t it have made more sense if he had rescued a few inhabitants instead of getting into his starship to wander around to the Earth? So, your species will die out.«

I was not sure whether it had been clever to have asked this question because now, his whole body started to shiver. Like a spluttering motor he raised a few inches from his armchair and before I knew what was happening, he had POOPED a huge pile of gold.

Awesome!

That guy was the pure cash cow!

Being speechless with amazement, I looked at the shining metal.

»Now, take it! It is real,« Rumpelstiltskin Junior said impatiently, pointing at the mountain of gold which might weigh about a good pound.

»Did that come out of your bottom?« I asked astonished.

Prince 14-002 from Violentia gazed at me. »Of course, what do you think?«

»Well, I thought the gold comes out of your head.«

Rumpelstiltskin Junior scrutinized me in disbelief. »You should probably start to use more than ten percent of your brain mass, cutie! It should not have escaped your notice that only subtle gold threads came out of my head when I cough. How is such a huge pile supposed to come out of my tenuous hair roots? That is anatomically hardly possible.« He pointed at his head.

I bent forward to politely inspect his hair roots. »You are right. It would not be possible.«

»See? We slowly get along well with each other.«

»And when do you poop out that gold?«

»I do NOT poop,« Rumpelstiltskin Junior replied insulted.

»I beg your pardon!«

»Sure,« he said graciously. »I ›separate‹ the gold.«

»You ›separate‹ it? Well, ok. May