Karma: The What If, #8

By Isabella White

This is the 8th novel in the What if Series.

What if Kate and Michael wasn't there that night when Holly just discovered about Michael. Would she had the guts to tell him about the daughter he has.
An alternative story taking place in Secret Love, the second novel in the 4Ever series

• Language: English
• Publisher: Fire Quill Publishing
• Release date: Aug 31, 2020
• ISBN: 9781947649552

Book preview

One

JAKE

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The past five years had been a mess. Usually, around this time of year, Jake always thought back to five years ago. He was the happiest man then, and now, he was someone completely different and felt at times that he was still pretending. Sure he was grateful for how his life turned out. Kate Niagelli was beautiful, smart, and everything he looked for in a woman. She was even compatible with him, and a part of him did love her. Still, it wasn't the love he had. It felt as if Holly had died. She just vanished. What if she did die?

He always thought about that. Holly could've changed her mind about the baby.

His father told him what could happen, and death was at the top of the lists: her death, the baby, both.

If she died, he would never forgive himself and might be dead too.

Not that his life was far from it.

He should be happy. He had everything. A loving family, a beautiful son, even if Michael wasn't from his loin, the boy was still his.

He had Kate, who dealt with so much of his shit. He didn't think that she would be here when he returned from Shanghai. And last, he was one hell of a neurologist.

The year he spent with Sam Huyo was the best that ever happened to his career. Jake climbed the ranks fast. His name meant something. He was one of the few doctors that were taking risks with life-threatening tumors. His surgeries were so full that he hardly had time to eat.

He was engaged to Kate. Almost a year now and in eleven months, he was going to say I do. But still, whenever July started, and Boston blossomed, he always thought of Holly, of his life, and what it could've been if she stayed.

He wondered so much about that time still. He believed his mother, but there was that small part that he would always wonder about.

Did she really do it?

His beeper went off.

The new intern was here.

He got a call from Frank Edwards, his godfather, and he told Jake about this boy. He was going to do his internship in Seattle. When Frank's hospital lost the teaching status a few months back, all their interns and residents had to find new placements. They got Rodney Bullucio. Jake saw his file, he worked a lot with Dr. Somers. Jake didn't even know the old man was still at large. He ran a free clinic, but the letter Dr. Somers wrote on Rodney's behalf, supported what his Godfather had told him. Frank said that if Rodney got the right mentor, he would become a second him. Frank begged Jake to look out for the boy.

He rushed to the reception. The intern, reasonably good looking, mixed race with baby blue eyes, stood in front of the reception. Jake shook his head. This kid really has the blueprint of what it takes to become a second him.

Rodney smiled and make a few jokes at the ladies behind the reception as he filled in an information sheet. Jake stopped at Reception.

Rodney looked up as Jake spoke to Mildred. She reminded him so much of Aggy, and he was still furious with Kate about getting her fired.

She was working now at Downsend.

He could feel the intern's eyes on him as he finished with Mildred.

Hi, sorry. Rodney approached him. I know you are busy and probably don't even care about an intern, but can I say, I really admire what you are trying to do. He smiled with his hand stretch out in front of Jake to shake.

Rodney Bullucio. Jake smiled and shook his hand.

Rodney's eyes raised in surprise. You know my name?

Yes, I've heard some stories about how you will give me a run for my money. Jake teased.

Damn, now my master plan is ruined. He joked.

Jake and Mildred laughed. Come, let me show you around.

You serious?

Yes, believe it or not, I've been waiting a long time for an intern like you.

Like me? Rod sounded shocked.

I've seen your file, that letter from Somers is a keeper and I got an interesting phone call from Frank Edwards.

You know, Dr. Edwards?

Very well, and he asked me to keep an eye on you.

Keep an eye on me?

This world needs more doctors who are willing to take chances and stop playing it safe. Don't you agree?

I do. He smiled and mumbled something about Frank underneath his breath. Probably that he would strangle him if he saw him again for not telling him that he personally knew Jake Peters.

So, let's see what you can do, and we'll take it from there.

You gotta be shitting me. I'm dreaming. This is one of those dreams, and I'm going to wake up soon.

Jake punched him against the arm, and he retreated slightly as he rubbed it.

You felt it?

Yes.

You're not dreaming.

He laughed, and Jake took him around P&E.

They talk about many of Sam Huyo's surgeries, and Frank was right, the boy was just like him. Eager, just like he was when he started out.

He dropped him off at the cafeteria and told him that he would see him first thing tomorrow morning to see what he had.

The others are not going to like me a lot, are they?

I don't care about others. We need to get you the best you can be. That is if you have what it takes. It's not much of a life if you are the best.

I really do not care.

It's what you say now, Jake said with a tug around his lips, turned around, and walked away. He felt sorry for the poor kid. Maverick and Debbie, both in their third year, who was learning under Jake, was probably going to rip Rod apart.

Tomorrow he would see if there was something to the boy the way Frank and Somers were saying.

He went home around five, picked Michael up from Lilly, Kate's mom, and took the drive with the quiet two-year-old at the back home.

Felix rushed up to the car.

Hello, boy. Jake ruffled him up. He needed to take a walk with him, throw some ball and get some of his energy levels down.

The Great Dane loved Michael.

Jake took Michael out of the car and went inside.

Kate was still busy with surgery, and tonight was Chinese.

He cut some sweet and sour pork dumplings for Michael and ate his Black Oyster.

He loved Black Oyster Beef.

He got Kate the cashew nut and chicken dish, and after they ate, he gave Michael a bath.

He looked at his two-year-old and hated that he was thinking now about a four-year-old that should've been.

He always dreamed about the baby being a boy.

He would've looked just like Holly, maybe had his eyes, her curls.

It still pained his heart. He couldn't breathe at times.

Not to mention the strawberry blonde he saw in the supermarket.

He always saw Holly's face, and then it slowly changed into whoever that person was.

He never used to see so many strawberry blondes, but now that he was done with his shit of screwing each one he came across, they were popping up like daisies, tempting him.

He wondered if he would ever go back to who he used to be.

He changed so much the past five years that it felt impossible.

After the bath, he played for an hour with Mickey, and he put him to sleep.

Kate only came home around ten.

She looked tired, but when she climbed on Jake's lap, he knew she wasn't that tired.

They made love, and then she passed out.

He tried it once with Kate, the way Holly used to sit on him, but she cried out in pain, and he never tried it again.

He always ended up in the bathroom, whacking off.

He wondered if he would get over Holly if there would be a year that he wouldn't think about her. A July where he would stop imagining what his life would have been like if she didn't leave, and April that he couldn't imagine what his baby would've looked like. Christmases, Halloweens. He just wanted one year where he would just not think about what if. Just one year.

Two

The next morning Rodney waited for him at reception. In his hand, a cup of coffee from a barista down the road.

I can't seem to get this coffee into my system, Rod said.

Funny, I can't drink Seattle's coffee.

You've ever been to Seattle?

Only for doctor conferences.

How can I forget? Rodney said. Been trying to shake your hand for a long time, but you always were so distracted.

Jake laughed. When?

I was working at the conference in my first year.

Oh, back then. Sorry about that, believe it or not, my life was a bit of a mess during that time.

Say whaaat? Rod joked. You would never have said it.

Jake laughed. Frank was indeed not wrong about this kid. He was just like Jake, five years ago. He missed the lightness Rod carried.

He had an operation scheduled for eight, and he took Rodney with him.

Maverick was livid. Jake didn't give a fuck, to be honest.

During surgery, Jake watched Rodney.

He tried to teach him about the tumor while he removed it. Rod didn't ask many questions, but Jake learned that the boy had very steady hands, just the way a neurologist should have.

Rod memorized the way Jake had laid his tools out in less than five minutes, and Rod actually predicted the tools.

By the third time, Rod gave him the tool he needed without him asking. Jake smiled.

You sure you are not a mind reader?

Rod chuckled, not taking his eyes off the tumor. Like I said, I really love brains.

Jake grinned. The boy was undoubtedly impressive.

Then Jake wanted to see if he could distract Rodney.

He started asking him questions about Somers, and Rod actually had a conversation with him, multitasking.

He told Jake the things he used to do for Somers as his hands were not what they used to be. Since his clinic was free and run by many charities, Rod actually assisted in many brain surgeries. It was why all the Seattle students wanted to work at the free clinic.

The kid really had what it takes.

I bet he taught you his special technique?

Rod laughed. No, I wasn't that lucky. But I know someone he did teach. His other pair of hands.

Rodney started telling Jake about his friend that was with him. Somers just loved her. She was an intern at Downsend.

She could've easily gotten a spot here, but I'm glad she chose Downsend. I guess, he chuckled. That she knew how badly I wanted to meet you and took Downsend as the reason she gave me why she chose Downsend was pretty lame.

Jake smiled.

I mean, if you think my letter Somers wrote was great, hers sound like a Nobel prize.

So what was her lame excuse? Jake wanted to know.

That she can't strive among the best.

What?

Exactly my point. Rod smiled. She sure is wired differently than other females, I know.

Jake thought about Holly again. He hated July, but every time someone said someone was different, he always thought about her.

A few hours later, they rolled the patient out of the OR and into recovery.

Jake made sure that everything was okay, that the nurses knew the drill, and should page him the minute the patient woke up.

Rod made a few more jokes with the nurses, staying behind.

You coming, Dr. Bullucio? Jake said.

Rod ran behind him.

So what is the verdict? Do I have what it takes, Dr. Peters?

You know you do. Jake complimented him, and Rod just grinned from ear to ear. How you deal with Maverick and Debbie, is your business?

He gave Rod the low down to meet him every day if he worked the day shift, and Jake didn't like waiting. Not that Jake would have a problem with waiting for Rodney. The boy waited with a cup of coffee this morning.

Rod, please, Rodney said when Jake kept calling him Rodney.

Got it.

Thank you, Dr. Peters, you don't know what this means to me?

Jake, Rod. Dr. Peters is my dad. He joked, and Rod laughed.

I'll try to remember that.

They went to the next consultation and introduced Rod to his receptionist, Penny. His office was on the second floor and told Rod to wait until he needed him for scans or blood work.

Jake smiled as he walked into his office and took out his phone. Frank already send him a message during surgery, wanting to know what he thinks of Rod.

You were right. If Rod is willing to learn, I should be scared.

A smiley face came back. And that was it.

Rod indeed had what it took of becoming a second Jake Peters.

He was funny, smart as hell, his head was set right on his shoulders, he didn't have a girlfriend, wasn't interested at the moment, and he loved his life.

Yeah, Jake just hoped a whirlwind didn't enter Rod’s and ruined it too.

For the next month, Rod assisted Jake in all the things he did. Well, when he was on the day shift.

The residents soon learned to back off when it came to Rod. They still got their time when Rod was not on duty, but it was barely time.

Rodney was a prodigy.

They just lost a patient, and Jake got them each a tub of Bennies. It was what he did when he lost someone he really didn't want to lose. The tumor was removed a few days ago, with success, but the patient didn't wake up. His rate was 40/60, and he hated that so much. He hated that number.

I'm sorry, Jake.

Some you lose, some you win. He sighed, pushing a spoon of ice cream in his mouth.

So, Bennies and Jerries?

Yeah, it makes it feel less shitty, or that is what I tell myself.

Rodney's phone buzzed, but he didn't pick it up.

You can read your message, Rod. Jake's lips tugged. We are taking a break now.

He tugged it out of his pocket, and life left the boy's face.

You okay? Jake asked.

Yeah, sorry. He got up. I need to take this.

He walked back into the hospital, leaving Jake on the stairs.

Poor kid. He hoped it wasn't death in the family, but Jake would see how he worked under terrible news. It was when the Peterses thrived. Who knew, maybe it would be different for him.

He was surprised when he entered his office that Rod was waiting with Penelope.

You okay? Jake asked him.

He nodded, but he could clearly see that Rod was far from okay. He was pissed off about something, and if he was Rod, there was no way he was going to tell Jake what made him livid. So Jake left it. Rod would tell him if he wanted to get it off his chest.

He walked into his office, getting ready for another consultation. The patients were going to pile up again in the next hour. But that was his life. A waiting list as long as 18 months, what more could he ask for.

Another month passed—September.

Fall was in the air, and the wind started to blow. He hated winter. Probably because he related so much to winter. In a month, his birthday was coming up again.

He hated his birthdays too. All he remembered on his birthday was how he looked for Holly five years ago. Why couldn't he just found her? Was she that wrong for him?

He found Rod waiting for him with another cup of coffee.

It was still warm, and he wished that Debbie and Maverick would learn a few things from Rod. He just knew when to do what, and how Jake liked it—in a nonsexual way.

The morning began like every other morning. Jake was in surgery until twelve, and then consultations started.

He pushed another patient in the recovery.

It wasn't a life-threatening tumor, though. Jake didn't get many of those.

He walked out of the patient's room when Jake saw another strawberry blond, the real kind.

It was like the twentieth one he saw the past few months. He grunted out of frustration and quickly looked away.

You know her?

No, Jake smiled.

Rod's lips tugged. You have a thing for Strawberry Blondes?

Yeah, they are like catnip, Jake admitted and brushed his hands through his hair. What was this?

Rod laughed. But Kate, she's blonde.

I know. He smiled softly. Opposites attract. I guess. He raised his eyes, and the smile on Rod's face immediately disappeared as he stared at Jake.

What? Jake asked.

Rod shook his head. Nothing. They walked on.

Jake squinted his eyes.

It was about the third time Rod would just look at him that way, thinking and contemplating.

No, it was just his imagination.

The next month he buried himself in work again.

His birthday was coming closer. He really hated his birthday. Used to love birthdays a lot until the tornado of a woman destroyed everything.

Kate, his mom, Amelia, everyone bugged him about it. What he wanted to do.

Ask Kate, Melia, and don't be upset if I'm a no show. My schedule is full and can only do surgeries in the mornings or late at night.

Jake, it's your birthday.

Yeah, not ten years old anymore, sis.

She chuckled. Fine, we will just have to celebrate it at P&E again.

She put the phone down before he could protest.

He should be happy for Melia. She had it just as hard as he had the past five years.

She didn't handle the abortion at all. Even celebrated a makeshift birthday in April. They were going on to the fifth one.

Jake wished his sister could stop with them, but his mother said it was how she coped with it without the drink.

He would've never thought that Amelia would ever lose herself in alcohol, but she did. She used it as a coping mechanism in the beginning and got sucked in. Became an addict, and that few months just before he left for Shanghai, it was terrible. He heard that Armand almost left her, but thankfully he spoke to her, told her it was in the past, and that she should stop and get the right help, speak to someone. She saw Blair almost just as much as Jake did.

They lost another patient later that night.

Rod was on the night shift.

The lost ones were getting just as much as the ones they saved, and he knew it was because of all the strawberry blondes he was seeing. It was like they were a bad omen, warning him that another loss was coming.

His rate was down to 50/50. He hated that so much, and it was Rod's first life-threatening tumor. Still, it wasn't as bad as life-threatening tumors went. He'd done about six, including this one, in the category he would put Mr. Philips in. He had a few classes of tumors. Some life-threatening ones were worse than others. Still, a regular neurologist wouldn't even touch Mr. Philips's tumor.

You okay? Rod asked him as they sat on the stairs again, eating ice cream.

I should ask you if you are okay. You seem to deal with death great.

He shrugged. I know that it's not in our hands, especially what we try to do. Life-threatening tumors didn't get that name for nothing, Jake.

I know, I just wish there was a way to fucking get it out and give someone another few years, you know what I mean?

Yes, I do.

Rod looked at him again and frowned.

Rod was doing it again, and Jake was really not imagining it this time.

What now?

Your eyes are green, but they are blue now.

He huffed. "Yes, it