To Sleep, Perchance To Die: Rose Briar Cozy Mysteries, #1

By Kirstin Lund and Patti Larsen

So-Called Sleeping Beauty

I squinted into the late morning sunlight in vague unease and revulsion at the massive stone palace at the end of the long walkway, rainbow flags flapping their jaunty attempt at make-believe happiness flying in precise rows along the battlements. The sun glinted off the highest window in a turret on the side of the grey structure, typically the one place I wished I could avoid and yet always the spot that drew my undivided attention more often than not. In my mind's eye I could see the immense pink and white room beyond the window, ruffles engulfing the queen-sized canopy bed, rose-colored settees and centuries-old ornate tables filling a room four times the size of my current bedroom. Luxurious, fit for a pampered princess living in wealth and privilege most people would envy.

A bedroom I didn't get to enjoy all that much, though, did I?

Rose Briar's life post sleeping curse has little to do with all things princess and more to do with her job at the Sun Tavern, slinging drinks and doing her best to avoid being reminded she's going to be a queen someday. But when she discovers the deceased body of one of her least favorite people, what's a reluctant princess to do? Curiosity leads her to uncover secrets hidden deep beneath the history of the amalgamated fairy tale realms, leading her to poke her nose into the business of those who'd prefer she kept her questions to herself…

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mayhem and Murder Ink
• Release date: Dec 6, 2019
• ISBN: 9781988700830

Book preview

Chapter One

Did you hear Snow hooked up with that huntsman guy last night? Zel peered at herself in the mirror behind the rows of bottles lining the back shelf of the bar, pulling at her bangs. Her delicate nose wrinkled, full lips pursing in a moue of concern before whipping her head around to meet my eyes. Do you think it's too short?

I batted her hand away from her forehead as she returned to her critical examination of the perfection of her fringe. Honestly, if I worried half as much about my looks as she did, I might actually have brushed my hair this morning. I told you, it looks good. Constant reassurance I could deliver. But it was her earlier comment that had my hackles up. What huntsman guy?

Zel smoothed her hands down the back of her hair as if the perfection of her style required such a gesture. I eye rolled at her frown when she reached the ends of her gold-blonde hair, now just above her shoulders. No way would I ever tell her she’d gone a bit far this time, because it was her head. And it was just hair, for pity’s sake. "You know, Rose. Zel had a certain tone she liked to use with me, a mix of chastisement with an overtone of baby talk that made my teeth ache, but I didn’t call her on it, letting her continue. Knowing if I did say anything it would end in her either stomping off, angry, or in tears, hugging me and apologizing. Neither of which I was in the mood for at the moment. Good thing Zel was focused on her bangs once again, tugging, tugging while I leaned one hip into the bar and crossed my arms over my chest so I wouldn’t shake her. The huntsman. The one who saved her life when she was in high school."

Right, that winner of a douchebag. How had he weaseled his way back into Snow’s life? I scrunched up my face and put my half-full bottle on the scarred wooden bar top, climbing onto a stool and ignoring the growing crowd and the subsequent increase in volume. Easy to do when management kept the lights low, the dark paneled walls making the place feel like a cave. I spent enough time here both behind the bar hustling drinks and food and, during my time off, in front of it, it felt like home. Didn’t help the shudder of disgust I could barely suppress at the thought of Snow and that creep. "He saved her life by choosing not to murder her. And then he dug out the heart of a poor little doe with a knife while she watched. I ran my thumb over the lip of my bottle, jaw tight, chest just as compressed. That is not romantic. That is psychotic."

Zel shrugged her narrow shoulders, new haircut bobbing around her heart-shaped face. Sometimes I wished she’d actually pretend to care instead of just brushing things off. Then again, maybe I’d be better off caring less. The beer was bitter when I took another swig while Zel responded like it was no big deal.

She's always had a thing for him. She took a sip of her rum and diet soda, finally ending her in-depth examination of herself and swiveling her stool around to survey the room like she was already tired of stirring up things I wished she’d left alone. Zel had zero sense when it came to triggers and I had my own buried deep. Was it busy in here today?

A change of topic was, at least, welcome. I swung my own stool around and leaned my back against the bar, the rounded edge of the old hardwood massaging the tight place aching from holding myself rigid. The low hum of the patrons scattered throughout sank into me, soothing me as much as I allowed. Anonymity was always comforting, even if it was just an illusion. Packed. It had been and though I’d done my part here today, I had as yet to go home. Typical. Home meant quiet and thinking and I really preferred busy. What about the inn?

Zel’s parents owned the whole shebang, Sun Tavern and Black Moon Inn included. While it was weird working for her, having my friend as my manager, we never seemed to have trouble. Maybe because we knew each other so well after years living together at her condo in The Tower. And Zel, with her lack of judgment, really was the best friend I could have.

Even if it meant working for her and her folks while mine judged from the other side of the Realm.

Not too bad. I had time to have lunch with Foxer. Zel’s entire demeanor changed, and for the first time in a while I remembered she wasn’t just a flaky, care-free soul who alternated between irritating me and being endearing. I sighed when she looked at the floor, swinging her leg back and forth against the stool, designer platform sandal she’d been so excited about last week making my foot ache just thinking about wearing it.

But it wasn’t her shoes that had me tense all over again. We’d had this conversation before. I wasn’t a fan of Zel’s new man, Foxer Slightly, and she knew it. Because I’d told her. At length.

I had a dream about him last night. See, there was the problem. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I needed to, but she was my friend, one of the very few. Thing was, I couldn’t ignore my dreams. The damned curse saw to that. Not like I’d asked to spend all that time asleep, a whole year lost in la-la-land, or for the side effect said magical rest left behind. Like premonitional dreams I wished would stop. Case in point. He was making fun of you, calling you stupid.

Zel shifted her eyes away from mine and I knew she’d already experienced what I saw in my dream. I know he can be a bit of a jerk, she said to the bar. A bit? She looked up at me, grinning. But he’s so cute.

Because being attractive was so much more important than being a decent human being. I paused to sample my beer so I wouldn’t say something cutting, long enough to temper my response into an attempt to make her think. Cute is the operative word. I wasn’t beneath shaming her if that would prod her to reconsider. What is he, like, eighteen? I took another sip from my bottle and swiveled back to face the bar, grabbing a handful of almonds. The old stainless-steel bowl rocked on the dent in its front left corner and, out of habit, I spun it sideways to lean the rim against the heavy cash register to keep it from spilling. How many times had I thought about replacing it and how many times had I forgotten?

He’s twenty-five, and you know it. Zel blew out a loud breath. I can’t help feeling like a cradle robber when I look at him, though.

I swallowed my mouthful of nuts and followed it with a sip, choking on the urge to make her listen when I knew it was a lost cause. The eerie and uncomfortable feeling I woke with in the middle of the night returned. Nothing overtly threatening, just... off. Enough to make me worry about her. Just be careful, Zel. I don’t want you to get hurt again.

She flinched ever so faintly and I instantly regretted being a jerk. Zel had always been an asshole magnet, starting with the guy who broke her out of the tower she’d been trapped in for five years, waiting for rescue thanks to a curse of her own. Maybe it was our matched set of magically enforced fates that made us friends despite how different we were.

She’d fallen hard, just like her. And he’d taken what he’d wanted and left the wreckage of his heroism behind. Since he skipped town, it had been one loser after the next. I’d spent the last ten years basically mopping up after every one of her awful boyfriends.

Zel ignored me and instead gestured at the tavern entry with her glass, sloshing a bit of her drink on the floor. She’d only had one prior to this, so I didn’t think she could have been that drunk. Then I realized her clumsiness had nothing to do with alcohol and everything to do with who just walked through the door.

***

Chapter Two

Oh, yay. Sarcasm didn’t sound good on Zel. The happy couple.

I turned to observe and, just as quickly, whipped back to stare at my drink. I’d just spent eight hours waiting on idiots who barely tip. Having to deal with Ella for free didn’t feel fair.

I guess fair had nothing to do with my life.

Rapunzel! Ella’s piercing squeal was all the worse because of that fake, oh-my-god-girlfriend tone she favored when she talked to us. I love your hair! I refused to look up, though I felt Ella looming, caught the scent of her noxious perfume, and sighed when she addressed me, knowing there wasn’t any way to avoid her. Aurora, sweetie, how are you?

I felt her delicate hand on my shoulder and twisted my lips into a bitter smile. She wasn’t going to let me ignore her, anyway. Didn’t she get it? I’d never been reticent about my feelings for her. But Ella had this absolute consuming need to pretend she was everyone’s friend even when that friendship was a mask for the opportunity to be a bitch.

Well, I’d had enough, especially when she brought up the past every time we met. I purposely turned to face her and deadpanned my reply. Ella. Stop calling me Aurora. No sugar there. Her gorgeous face flickered when I instead nodded to the blond, blue-eyed god behind her. Henry.

Hey, Rose. Chiseled jaw, broad shoulders, perfect hair? And personality to match. He really was too good for her. I gave him a real smile, my cold, bitter heartwarming just a bit. A lot of people in Femrik couldn’t be bothered to use the name I preferred, opting instead for my birth name. Henry had always been good about it.

Ella didn’t make a big deal about my response, in fact acted as if I hadn’t even spoken. Typical. Instead, she pointed to a stool a few feet away, that imperious gesture making me snort into the lip of my beer bottle. But, just like always, Henry leaped to act, lifting the heavy wooden piece easily with one hand, settling it down beside Zel for his true love to perch her precious self upon. Ella ran her hands over the back of her full white skirt before settling in, pivoting to look past Zel and right at me.

She was in a mood after all. Great. I averted my eyes, staring straight ahead at the mirror. It was impossible to miss Ella’s smirk as she took in my messy dark brown hair and old Femrik Fatales scrimmage shirt, the roller derby logo faded to almost nothing.

I hated that her judgment hurt. Screw it, let her judge me. She had nothing on the daily struggle I fought with myself. I chugged the rest of my beer and waved at Hansel for another, the bartender appearing from inside the kitchen with a load of food. I didn’t realize he was covering tonight alone. Usually he would have been hanging out, chatting with me and Zel at every opportunity but he hadn’t even made an attempt since I sat down ten minutes ago. When he caught my wave, he held up a finger after delivering the food to a couple further down the bar. One minute.

Ella laughed, empty and tinkling, dragging my attention back to her despite myself. She fluffed her butter-colored hair with the tips of her manicured fingers, batting eyelashes that had to be artificial. So, what’s new, ladies? This old married woman needs to live vicariously through you single gals.

Like her husband wasn’t sitting next to her, adoring her, while she complained about being hitched. And as if I was going to tell her anything about my life when the backstabbing little beast proved herself untrustworthy a million times. She might have been gorgeous, she might have been rich, but Ella was still a guttersnipe no matter the packaging.

Thing was, it wasn’t me who always upended her stuff and let Ella sift through it like the remnants of ashes from a fire. I elbowed Zel, but she could never say no to the spoiled former scullery maid. To anyone, really.

Snow scooped the huntsman last night. Zel leaned in, cheeks pink, excited to gossip, obviously, and not getting her fix with me. Zel didn’t even flinch while she giggled, hands over her mouth as Ella gasped. She was all over him at Hansel's party.

Ella let her jaw fall wide open, an exaggerated expression meant to encourage Zel to go on. Eww. He's so old! She turned to Henry, her hand on his arm, drawing his attention back from Will and Little John’s pool match in an alcove beside the long bar. Isn't that gross, Henry? If you were like, fifty, would you want to be with some girl our age?

I could tell he didn't know what his wife was talking about, but Henry shook his head and kissed her cheek. Of course not.

Ella smirked at us. Obviously, I completely understand what Snow has gone through. If my husband went around kissing every girl he found asleep in the woods, I'd be looking for someone stable, too. Poor thing.

I couldn’t do this, I’d already been triggered, the past just too close to the surface for comfort. I jumped off my stool and adjusted my jeans, struggling with the impulse not to run. When Zel made a move to join me, I shook my head. I’m just going to the bathroom. I'll be back in a few minutes. I really needed to be alone.

She seemed disappointed but almost immediately leaned in and started whispering with Ella, her brief moment of unhappy vanishing in a flip of her new bangs. I met Henry’s eye, gestured toward the vacant seat. He winked and took over my stool. He leaned in, hand on my arm, grinning. We’re going to be neighbors. Ella and I are renovating The Tower penthouse so we’ll have a place in town.

Just what I needed, more Ella. Still, it meant seeing more of Henry. So good with the bad, I guess. Story of my life.

I wove between two tables of dwarves with practiced ease, unburdened with food or drink as I typically would have been, but didn’t make it far. A big hand much too large for his size grasped for my wrist, tugging me to a halt as a grubby dwarf in a tunic he should have washed a week ago blinked up at me with bloodshot hazel eyes.

Hey, Rosie, lend me ten bucks.

There were certain people in my life I could never turn down, and he was one of them. I pulled a bill from my front pocket and held it out to Choo, seeing his grin, noting he had cards in front of him. You still owe me from last week. Like it mattered, Choo would pay me back in other ways, like providing a sympathetic ear and a forest refuge on the days I just had to get away from the judgement of Femrik. His home under the roots of a giant sequoia tree may not have bene a palace but it was cozy and he let me be me. He was one of the few people I let my walls down around.

Choo plucked the bill from my hand and smacked it down in the middle of the table, wiping at his broad nose, broken far too many times for proper function, with the back of the same hand that had held my wrist. No worries, I'm gonna win it back tonight.

I sighed loudly while he turned his eyes from his cards to look at me. Off you go. He waved his hand at me like he was trying to brush me out the door.

When I scowled at him, he pinched my side until I smirked. Fine, but don't ask me again, you sponge. I turned my back so he wouldn't see me smile for real, like it mattered. He knew I’d never say never.

The only problem with the dwarfish distraction, however, was the fact I’d missed noticing I’d ventured into the vicinity of yet another person I wished I could avoid forever. Deputy Sheriff Will Scarlett leaned on a pool cue, watching me, long blond hair in a ponytail over one shoulder, those green eyes looking me up and down as if he wanted to have me for dinner.

He smirked at me. I'm happy to see you, too, Princess.

The smile fell fast from my lips. Dickhead. I sped up past the pool table.

Didn’t stop the catcalling, though, did it? I know you love me, Princess.

I gave him the finger over my shoulder as I entered the small, dark hallway leading to the bathrooms and the front lobby of the Black Moon Inn. I'd fallen for Will’s bullshit one too many times. My track record wasn’t much better than Zel’s, truth be told. Like that was a huge surprise. We were all more than a little damaged and it wasn’t like the slim pickings around these parts lent themselves to improving our chances at happiness.

Best to just stay away from all men. Even if it meant spending the evening in my bed with a book while my friends were at Hansel’s party seven floors above me making stupid hook-up decisions. I shook my head. Not my responsibility. Snow was a grown woman and so was Zel.

Speaking of grown women. I was too late to stop myself from interrupting what should have been a private encounter going on in the shadows of the cloak room outside the bathroom. Mind you, it wasn’t like Ella's step-sister, Anastasia Tremaine, cared who saw her do what with the assorted guys she dug her hooks into. I scowled at her as she unwound her tentacles from the neck of her latest victim.

Hey Nasty, don't let me interrupt your feast. I might not have been a lady, but at least I had class.

Screw you, Aurora. Anastasia drew out every syllable of the name she knew I didn’t like, not knowing her using it had almost no impact on me because she was just that pathetic. We were just leaving, weren't we, honey.

Her red hair flashed when she moved into the light, pulling her man behind her, a guilty look on his gorgeous face. My stomach clenched and the need to rid my body of the beer I’d just drunk hit me like a blow.

Prince Philip. The guy who taught me that happily ever after was a pile of dragon shit.

Hi, Rory.

I nodded and opened the bathroom door with a hard shove, the suddenly bright light from the white interior and fluorescents adding disorientation to upset. Philip. No way was he seeing me flinch. Anastasia’s laugh reached me anyway as I let the door swing heavily shut behind me.

***

Chapter Three

When I got back to the bar, Ella was holding court. Which meant I was able to slip into the midst of our small group without causing much of an interruption. Ella’s ability to captivate hadn’t vanished when she’d gotten married and despite myself, I often found I, too, felt sucked into the way she could spin a story with active hands and wide eyes full of that particular fake innocence she had down to a science.

We met the cutest shaman in India. She practically gushed her enthusiasm, voice softening compared to our previous conversation, the natural storyteller in her elevating her tone slightly, giving her an almost breathy sultriness that belied the shining purity of her chosen persona. All contrived, I knew that well enough. Still, she put on a good show. So adorable, I can’t even. And he loved me, naturally. Her tinkling laugh gave me hives. We talked for hours. He was so wise. Likely she talked at the poor old bugger and he needed the patience of a shaman to put up with her. When he found out my... problem, for the first time her