Tales From the Dad Side

By John Cosper

Once upon a time, there was a dad who didn’t want to tell the same old bedtime stories. Sure, he loved fairy tales as much as the next guy, but why tell the same old stories about pigs and bears and princesses when you can make up your own?

TALES FROM THE DAD SIDE is what happens when a dad and his kids decide to make up their own stories. Screenwriter and author John Cosper - along with his kids Sam and Lydia - created a collection of stories featuring pigs, wolves, dogs, cats, robots, chickens, parrots, monsters, dragons, aliens, cockroaches, princesses, honey badgers, Star Wars haters, and one really, really angry bird!

Always funny, sometimes meaningful, and always entertaining, TALES FROM THE DAD SIDE is a great escape from the ordinary bedtime - and the perfect launching pad to create your own stories and memories with your kids!

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Cosper
• Release date: Sep 29, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463700686

John Cosper

John Cosper is an award-winning author, script writer, and filmmaker. He began writing drama in college for his church's youth ministry and soon expanded into film and fiction. In 2014 John released his first book about pro wrestling Bluegrass Brawlers: The Story of Professional Wrestling in Louisville. Since that time he's written and/or published more than twenty books on the subject including biographies of Wahoo McDaniel, Tracy Smothers, Princess Victoria, Chris Candido, and Mad Man Pondo through his own wrestling label Eat Sleep Wrestle. After many years of writing science fiction, his creative writing took a darker turn after Covid-19. He now writes horror and thrillers, all with a humorous bent, published through his independent label Dead Park Books. John's other passions include movies, reading, football, ice hockey, and cooking. If he's not writing, you're most likely to find him spending time with his wife and kids.

Book preview

Tales from the Dad Side

By John Cosper

All stories copyright 2015 by John Cosper

All rights reserved.

johncosper.com

For

Micah, Mark, Alex, Riley, Katie, Dorothy, Owen, Naomi, Maggie Kay, Isabelle, Ian, Maggie Sue.

And of course,

Lydia and Sam

The Tales Within:

Introduction

You, That’s Who!

How Lydia Saved the World

The Parrot Who Was Kind of a Jerk

Sammy Wolf

I Do Not Like to Watch Star Wars

The Dragon Who Learned Some Manners

The Dinosaur and the Car Wash

The Dog Who Loved a Chicken

King Cockroach

Bad, Bad Bird

The Unhappy Robot

The Wrong Story

The Monster’s Attic

Cinderdude

Handsome Klaus

Jerrod King of Mars

The Tick Who Went to Kindergarten

The Chocolate Cow

The Honest Monkey

The Wrong Foot

Sam’s New Friend

Three Wolves

A Hillbilly Christmas Story

A Honey Badger on Noah’s Ark

Introduction

When my daughter Lydia moved out of her crib and into a big girl bed, we started having story time to help her settle in for the night. We began with reading the Bible, as well as the old favorites like Dr. Seuss, but over time, I started creating stories on the fly, with a few suggestions from my captive audience and some imagination. A year or so later, we added her brother Sam to the mix, and the evening ritual continued for years.

We don’t have story time like we used to, but that doesn’t mean we’re not still telling stories. Quite the contrary. We make up stories all the time. These days the kids are much more interactive than they used to be. They’re learning to improvise and tell their own stories in the car, after dinner, and yes, around bed time.

A few years ago I published some of my kids’ favorites in a collection with this same title. I decided it was time to update the book with some stories that came along afterwards. You’ll find everything from aliens to twisted fairy tales to morality tales in here. Some were intentionally created to teach lessons about life and faith. Some were just flights of fancy intended to produce laughter. All but a few were directly inspired by my kids.

There’s no order to the stories, so start wherever you like. Read as many as you want. Skip the ones you don’t like. And if you or your kids get inspired, put down the book and by all means make up your own stories.

The kids must share partial credit for the stories, since they were the inspiration and often part of the creative process. The art work in the book is completely Sam and Lydia’s, and the individual artists are credited on each page.

Long before I had kids of my own, I heard it said that children who see their father read will become avid readers. I can tell you from experience, it’s absolutely true. My hope is that other dads will take the time to read with their kids. I hope you’ll enjoy these stories like we did. And I hope you’ll help your kids discover the joy of reading.

John Cosper

September, 2015

You, That’s Who!

Once upon a time, there was a big, scary, fire breathing dragon who lived in a dark cave in the middle of the deep wood. The dragon was very mean, and he loved to terrorize the nearby castles and villages. He loved to eat brave knights in shining armor, but he preferred to eat fair maidens and princesses - mostly because they didn't wear armor, which made his tummy hurt.

One day, the dragon ate twelve whole knights, armor and all. It was as big and satisfying a meal as he had ever had, but as you might imagine, his stomach was really hurting from all that armor. He tossed and turned beneath his blanket in his dark cave, and he just could not get to sleep.

I cannot sleep! he finally said aloud. My stomach hurts from eating too many knights in armor.

Then the dragon had an idea. I have an idea! I will go out for a walk in the dark woods! That will make my tummy feel better.

So the dragon went out into the dark woods, which were very dark indeed. An ordinary man, even the bravest knight, would have been afraid to walk through them alone. But this was not a man. This was a scary, fire breathing dragon. There was nothing in the world as scary as him, and he knew it.

But when the dragon got out into the woods, he heard a strange sound.

Who?

He walked along, and he heard it again.

Who?

The dragon turned and looked. He couldn't see anything. He couldn't smell anything. Not that he was afraid, mind you. But he wanted to know what the noise was. When he didn't hear it again, he kept on walking.

Then all of a sudden, he heard it again. Who?

The dragon stopped. Hello?

The woods were silent.

Hello? said the dragon. Is anybody there?

He listened a moment, but he did not hear anything. The dragon walked on.

Who? Who?

The dragon nearly jumped! Nearly, for he was still a big, scary, fire breathing dragon. And he was not afraid. But he was very certain someone was messing with him.

All right, wise guy, said the dragon. I know you're out there!

Who?

You, that's who!

Who?

The guy who keeps saying who!

Who?

I said the guy who keeps saying who!

Who?

Stop that!

Who?

You, that's who!

Who?

The dragon let out a loud growl. He was really getting annoyed.

Listen, buster, do you know who I am?

Who?

I am a big, scary, fire breathing dragon!

Who?

I am a fire breathing dragon!

Who?

I said I'm a fire breathing dragon! The dragon was really mad now. I breathe fire! I eat knights and damsels! I ate ten knights just today!

Who?

I don't know who! snapped the dragon. They tried to fight me, and I ate them! And I'll eat you too!

Who?

Stop saying that!

Who?

You, that's who!

Who?

The dragon's three hearts were beating fast. He just could not imagine who would dare to tease him like this. He was a big, scary, fire breathing dragon! Everyone knew better than to mess with a big, scary, fire breathing dragon. But maybe this was something new, something that had never seen a big, scary, fire breathing dragon. He would have to teach the stranger a lesson.

Okay, buddy, said the dragon. You want to know what a big, scary, fire breathing dragon can do? You say who just one more time and I'll show you!

Who?

That's it! screamed the dragon, and he blasted a huge fireball out of his mouth. The fireball hit a small tree and burned it down to ashes. It was a scary sight, scary enough to make even the bravest knight run away.

The dragon smiled.

Did you see what I did? I just burned that tree to ashes!

Who?

Who!!! The dragon snarled. Me, that's who!

Who?

The dragon!

Who?

The fire breathing dragon!

Who?

Do I have to do it again?

Who?

Okay, pal, you asked for it!

The dragon shot an even bigger fireball out of his mouth, burning an even bigger tree to ashes in a matter of seconds. But when the fire flamed out and the forest went dark, the voice came back the same as before.

Who?

The dragon couldn't believe it! He had shown this stranger how powerful he was, and he still wasn't scared! For the first time in his life, the dragon was scared.

All right, said the