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Forsaken By the Others
Forsaken By the Others
Forsaken By the Others
Ebook277 pages5 hours

Forsaken By the Others

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

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The Others--vampires, werewolves, things that go chomp in the night--don't just live in nightmares anymore. They've joined with the mortal world. And for private investigator Shiarra Waynest, that means mayhem. . .

Have a one night stand with a vampire, and you can end up paying for it for eternity. P.I. Shiarra Waynest, an expert on the Others, knows that better than most. Yet here she is, waking up beside charismatic vamp Alec Royce with an aching head. . .and neck. Luckily, Shia has the perfect excuse for getting out of town--namely, a couple of irate East Coast werewolf packs who'd like to turn her into a chew toy.

On Royce's suggestion, Shia temporarily relocates to Los Angeles. But something is rotten--literally--in the state of California, where local vampires are being attacked by zombies. Who could be powerful enough to control them--and reckless enough to target the immortal? Following the trail will lead Shia to a terrifying truth, and to an ancient enemy with a personal grudge. . .

"It doesn't get much better for pure urban fantasy than Jess Haines." --All Things Urban Fantasy
LanguageEnglish
PublisherZebra Books
Release dateJul 11, 2012
ISBN9781420132052
Forsaken By the Others
Author

Jess Haines

Jess Haines, author of urban fantasy and paranormal romance, is a displaced New Yorker who writes about vampires, werewolves, and other bitey creatures of the night from her home in the Tampa area in Florida. She's best known for the H&W Investigations series (starting with HUNTED BY THE OTHERS).

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  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Book #5 of the series picks up right where we left off. Shia wakes up with Royce & an ocean of regret. She hasn't taken his blood so it's not final but she's pretty much "a legally bound & contracted vampire's toy".
    But she is back to herself, without the belt, and the ramifications of all she's done in the past month are hitting her hard. At least 4 different groups are gunning for her & her father has basically said don't call us, we'll call you.
    At least Royce has brought Sara to the house. Then he drops the bomb. He's going to stash them in LA 'til things cool off. They'll be staying with Clyde Seabreeze, a quasi-ally of his, with orders to keep their heads down. Right. Hasn't he noticed that Shia is one of the biggest s**t magnets on the planet?
    Off they go to Clyde's & he's suitably slimy. He steals their phones (which they inexplicably don't replace) & there are bugs & cameras in their cottage. He swears to take care of them, especially if they could help out with a pesky little zombie infestation. The PI's are back in business.
    Oooh boy...where to begin. This was not the strongest of the bunch for several reasons. Let's start with Royce.
    Enjoy the first few pages because that's the last you'll see of him. It feels like the author is testing how long she can tease fans before she allows Shia & Royce to have any happiness. Note to Ms. Haines: enough already. All sturm und drang all the time makes for weary readers. Also, Royce does & says some things that are completely inconsistent with how he's been portrayed so far, making you scratch your head.
    Moving the action to the west coast may provide a new setting but there are consequences. Many of the favourite secondary characters have no role in this book except in passing & they are missed.
    But the major issue is Shia. We understand she feels enormous guilt for her actions & how they endangered those around her, mostly because we are told so...over & over & over again. But it seems we are the only ones who got it as she proceeds to do the exact same things in LA. Not sure I'd be hanging with her in public as my "friend".
    This leads to one of my biggest pet peeves: women who work in a job such as a private investigator that is tough & requires intelligence who then proceed to make one boneheaded decision after another to the point where you wonder how they ever managed to make a living in their chosen profession. Surely there are other ways of advancing a plot or introducing an element of danger than as the result of a "heroine" being dumb & impulsive. Again, did she learn nothing in the last month?
    This feels like a filler book. There are holes in the plot, things that make no sense or are inconsistent with the back story & it's as if the whole thing was put together just so Shia could run into an old nemesis in the final few pages. Then it stops.You turn the page, hoping to to see some kind of partial resolution but it's done.
    So, unless this series is your reason for living, give this one a pass. After enjoying the last one, for me it was a disappointment.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    There we have it again, Jess Haines is eeeeeeeevil! Evil I say! Darkness! Here I was reading and running through the fields with flowers in my hair when BAM! A truly evil cliffhanger that made me sit up and say no! And also it made me use way too many exclamation points in this paragraph.

    What more can I say after that evil ending. I can't think now. I need the next book, I crave it. I mean an ending like that, oh man...I am being a horrible tease now. But she is very good at these kind of endings, you want more at once.

    Ok the book (before the ending) was about a quick look at Shiarra and Royce. Kissing ;) Aww Royce, still way too little Royce. Cos Shiarra and Sarah goes to LA. Meets the vampire master of LA. Meets a werewolf and most important of all, zombies! Zombies are running amok and it's up to Shiarra to figure out why.

    Zombies, danger and Shiarra dealing with the after effects of book 4 and there are quite a few. I do wonder what will happen with her strange blood.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    Review courtesy of Dark Faerie TalesQuick & Dirty: Shiarra Waynest is a private investigator who has made enemies with both humans and Others in the town she lives in. So to keep herself and her best friend safe they relocate to California for a while. Unfortunately, Shia seems to be a magnet for trouble. As soon as they arrive in Los Angeles they are asked to find someone who is controlling zombies and making them kill vampires. Will Shia and her friend Sara make it out of Los Angeles in one piece?Opening Sentence: Every part of her ached.The Review:Shiarra Waynest has ruined her life. She has upset the local authorities, werewolves, and those who dislike all things Other. This includes her parents. Now she has to leave town or one of the groups who are mad at her may get ahold of her and hurt her. To protect herself and those she cares about Shia and her best friend and business partner, Sara, go to Los Angeles until things quiet down at home. Unfortunately, Los Angeles is not very safe and before they have even rested up from jet lag they are asked by their host to investigate someone who is using zombies to kill his vampires. Will Shiarra and Sara make it home ok or will they be a victim of the zombies as well? This is the fifth book in the H&W Investigations series and it would be best to read the other four books first.Shiarra was hard to like. I could never really connect with her. I did like that the story was in first person so we got a better sense of Shia, but at the same time this may have been why I did not like her. She was cowardly and would rather run away instead of standing and fighting. Also, she thought more about herself than anyone else. She takes off for a month and doesn’t tell anyone where she is. In the process, getting mixed up with bad people who end up wanting her dead. Also, when she does return she has no thought to her family and how they have been for the month she was gone. The worst thing about her though was that she was so wrapped up in her own life and her own problems she never even realized something was off with her best friend. What kind of friend does not realize when there is something wrong? She did have a few good qualities about her. Shia realized she had made mistakes and felt bad about it; because she felt bad she tried to become a better person and do the right thing rather than rush in blindly and not think about others. Another thing I liked about her was she would do anything for her best friend, once she stopped being so oblivious.I truly did not enjoy this book. Maybe this is because it is further into the series and interactions get a bit confusing in spots. Also, because this is further in I am meeting the characters after they have been developed and didn’t know them from the beginning. It was a very slow paced book that never picks up. In saying that, I do have to say the end of the book did come as a surprise which was nice. Maybe this book would have been great if I went back to the first book in the series and read them in order. That is what I would recommend readers to do.Notable Scene:Sara led the way, bounding up the stairs two at a time. I couldn’t really blame her for wanting to rush out. Yet she stopped at the door, blocking the way out. I started to ask her what was wrong, but the words trailed off as a foul stench wafted into the room. All the anger faded away like smoke on the wind as the combination of death and rot invaded my nostrils like a physical assault. The vampires behind me started complaining—some of them blaming Brendan for the stink—but then Sara was stumbling back into me, and I didn’t have time to worry about where it was coming from. Bloated, discolored fingers with long, jagged nails were grabbing at Sara’s shoulder and arm, dragging her out through the door. By the time I got over my shock enough to reach for her, she was gone. . . .FTC Advisory: Kensington Zebra provided me with a copy of Forsaken by the Others. No goody bags, sponsorships, “material connections,” or bribes were exchanged for my review.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Read for Review (Netgalley)Overall Rating: 4.00Story Rating: 3.75Character Rating: 4.25First Thought when Finished: Holy freaking cliffhanger... GrrrrrrStory Thoughts: The 3.75 comes solely from the fact that there is a cliffhanger at the end of the book. We all know that I LOATHE cliffhangers with a fiery passion. However, the rest of the story was pretty darn good. I missed my geek squad but I liked the characters introduced in Forsaken by the Others. Specifically I need to see more of the tall blonde (though I am going to imagine him as a dark haired guy). I think he is very intriguing. The change of venue and location also was a nice change of pace. Overall, I really enjoyed it until the last few pages. GRRRRRRR!Character Thoughts: I love the characters of H&W Investigations. I know everyone is a huge Royce fan but I like it when the ladies (Shai & Sara) are off on their own. They have some serious girl power and they remind me of old time sleuthes. They follow the clues and tend to get in over their head. They are smart, sassy, and friends. I just enjoy them and think they are one of the best women duos written. Thank you Jess for making both of them capable and able to work off each others strengths/weaknesses. Also there were zombies so you know I was happy!Final Thoughts: I love this series! So while there was a cliffhanger, I was still overall impressed!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    ...from the frying pan into the proverbial fire!So I received Forsaken By Others as a NetGalley ARC. As the first four novels (The Jess Haines Bundle) were available for a reasonable price I decided to purchase them to read first. By the way, just gotta love those covers!I am glad I did. Read the bundle first that is. If I hadn't, I would have definitely purchased them later to catch up with the back story.Vampires are part of the groups called Others in this post world 9/11 world.Rules of behaviour for turning humans are strict. When they get broken all sufferShiarra Waynest is a PI turned vampire hunter, well turned hunter of those who would enslave others.White hats are those who hate and hunt mages, vampires who sparkle, were beings, elves etc.There is seemingly no end of descriptive types of OthersThe Were's included Shia's boyfriend Chaz but that's in an the earlier episodes.Caught in an ancient battle between two master vampires, Max Carlyle and Alec Royce Shia is in danger of loosing her humanity. She is infected with lycanthropy and we live with her through her fears of being turned into an Other. Shia's distress over the possible loss of her humanity and the attitudes of her various family members are heartfelt and thought provoking analogies to other dilemmas of our human communities.Something is definitely going on in Shia's body, but what we don't know what.Oh, and did I mention the Magic Belt that gives her super fighting powers?As Shia's story progresses in this 5th book Shia and Sara Hollaway (her partner and girlfriend of the mage, Arnold) are sent to by Royce to LA for safety--into the arms of a couple of crazy vampire masters, zombies, and, Oh Yes, let's not forget the necromancer magi. Known White Hats are in evidence and that has other complications. Plots within plots emerge and trouble is constantly on the horizon as all jostle for supremacy. As Shia so succinctly put it they, 'were in the middle of what was about to become a war zone with nowhere to hide and no way to escape.'A 'must read' series of books and I am certainly staying tuned for the next episode.A NetGalley ARC
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This is the 5th in the H&W Investigations series. The main character, Shiarra (Shia) Waynest, finds herself in less than ideal circumstances after events from the previous novels in the series that are never quite explained in this one. As best I can gather, she had at some point been infected by a werewolf as well as bound to a vampire. The vampire thing prevented her from becoming a werewolf, but she is still going through some kind of strange, rare, and quite messy transformation. As a result of previous events, she is on the run from a variety of groups, including the human police. At the insistence of her vampire master/boyfriend, Alec Royce, she is sent from New York to California, along with her partner Sara, for their own protection to stay with another vampire, Clyde Seabreeze. But Clyde has something a bit different in mind for the two private investigators. Can they find off necromancers, zombies, and vampires to find out who is friend and who is foe? I found myself confused throughout much of this book because, as mentioned above, events that occurred in previous novels in the series are alluded to but never explained, even briefly, so that those of us who did not read them could at leave have some level of understanding about what happened. That could have been accomplished in a few paragraphs here and there, and it would have made things make a whole lot more sense and also, I think, have allowed a better connection with the characters. It's hard to sympathize with Shia, for example, when she whines about past events if we don't really know what those events were. The end of the book is definitely a cliff-hanger. If you like nice, neat resolutions to any part of a story at the end of a book, you won't find them here. I liked it well enough to perhaps go back at some point and read the first volumes, but I would definitely have to do that before I could move on to number 6.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Review courtesy of All Things Urban FantasyThe H&W Investigations series has evolved over the past five books. In a way it’s become lighter, more wacky. The focus in FORSAKEN BY THE OTHERS is less on the relationships and mythology, and more on the mystery of a black mage raising zombies in LA. There’s a lot of foot work as Shia and Sara question seemingly half the city in their investigation. I could have done with a little less chatting and a little more action, but considering this is the first book since Shia lost her super powered belt, it does make sense.What remains strong is the humorous dialog and wry observations from Shia. She has a healthy fear of the Others which comes in handy quite often since they usually want to kill her for one reason or another. There are some personal storylines that carry over for Shia and Sara, but for the most part, this feels like a self contained plot this time out. My biggest criticism is the same one I had last time. Apart from the very beginning, Royce is a no show and Arnold is regulated to a few brief phone call scenes. The sexy/funny elements that they both bring respectively were missing for me again. Since the success of this series has always been built on this truly fantastic ensemble cast, the books are strongest when they are all featured.That being said, the expected cliffhanger has done it’s job of ensuring I’ll be back for more. After three books with significantly fewer page time for some of my favorite characters, I’m really hoping for a full reunion for the next H&W Investigations book.Sexual Content:Kissing. References to sex
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    *Contains minor spoilers*With all the danger focused on Shia, Royce sends her and Sara off to California to what he thinks is safety to investigate a slight zombie problem. Unfortunately what they think they are walking into turns out to be much more dangerous than they thought.I didn't feel that there was as much action as I have grown to expect. There were a few sticky situations but the book as a whole felt more like a filler/lead up to book 6 type book to me. I was disappointed with the lack of Royce time. They finally get together and they are separated? Sigh ... and what was up with him not trying harder to bring her back? Just didn't feel like the Royce I have come to know. Arnold is missing as well. With his and Sara's relationship so strong it just felt odd. I missed the other characters and settings I have grown to love about the series as well. The zombies were fun and we meet some interesting people, old and new. The cliffhanger ending definitely makes you want to read what will come next.I hate to say it because I love Jess Haines and the H&W Investigations books but FORSAKEN BY THE OTHERS was my least favorite of the series. I will still be looking forward to book 6 so bring it on Jess.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Reviewed by: Rabid Reads.It’s an unspoken rule that every series has to have one blah installment, and unfortunately for H&W INVESTIGATIONS, this was it. Jess Haines’ engrossing writing style was still present, but FORSAKEN BY THE OTHERS was minus the tall glass of action that I’ve become accustomed to, the love interest was mostly a no show, and Shia’s ultra-cool mofo rep took a lickin’ which all lead to this book’s stepping stone like quality. The cliffhanger ending only served to further reinforce that sentiment as well, so all in all I’d have to say that this was my least favourite Waynest novel.I was happy with how this story started; progress was being made on the Alec front, Shiarra was reunited with her business partner, and then… the girls get shipped off to L.A. Goodbye secondary characters, adios main plot arc, and arrivederci smexy times. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed meeting Gavin, Clyde, Jimmy & Fabian, and hooking up with Tiny & Devon again was an unexpected treat; however I couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing. I was also a little cheesed that the author mentioned Jack’s new status only to leave readers in the lurch—if I had balls, they’d be blue.Shia’s been making some good headway as this series’ heroine, and granted the occasional setback is to be expected, but this book felt like a return to HUNTED BY THE OTHERS. The majority of this protagonist’s strengths lie with her aptitude as a P.I. and a couple of magical artefacts. The former continued to hold steady, however without the latter Waynest was pretty much a sitting duck which made her willingness to immerse herself in L.A.’s Other community, without allies I might add, to solve a case involving zombies come across as a death wish. I was disappointed by her utter lack of self-preservation.The plot was sufficiently twisty enough to keep me engaged, and with a suspect list comprising of three shady vampires, one über powerful necromancer, and a rabid Goliath werewolf, there was plenty of whodunnit goodness to go around. I enjoyed watching Shia and Sara team up on an investigation for a change, although there were a couple of facets that were entirely too opportune in my opinion such as Halloway’s predicament, and the “ancient enemy with a personal grudge”. The blurb was a bit spoiler-y for anyone who’s read the earlier installments which if you’re tackling book 5, I’m assuming you have.FORSAKEN BY THE OTHERS was a means to an end, a set-up for the next novel.

Book preview

Forsaken By the Others - Jess Haines

Page

Chapter 1

Every part of me ached. Though I was wrapped up in blankets, curled up on my side in bed, I was cold, too. Maybe it was my own shivering that stirred me out of sleep. Whatever it was, I didn’t want to move right away.

Then something cool and spidery shifted under the covers, brushing over my stomach.

Startled, I screamed and twisted away, flailing at the sheets to bat it off. It only tightened against me, yanking me back against a hard, male body.

A clearly naked—quite hard—male body.

Shush, now. You’ll wake the whole building.

Oh, hell.

My voice was a lot more gravelly and perhaps a touch more peeved than it needed to be. Let go.

Hmm. Someone is not a morning person.

Annoyed for no reason I could readily put my finger on, I shoved at Royce’s arm, trying to get him off me.

It was like trying to move a boulder. The rumble of his laughter vibrated through my body, my hot skin pressed to his cold. It was only when he took hold of the wrist of the hand I’d locked on his arm and rolled so he was on top that it struck me how easily he overpowered me.

Which served as another reminder. The belt was gone. I wasn’t turning Other.

I should have been happy, I suppose. Maybe the twinge of disappointment I was feeling came from trading one version of my own personal idea of hell for the uncertain future of being a legally bound and contracted vampire’s toy.

Bitter? Me? Perish the thought.

Wriggling, I pushed at Royce’s arm with my free hand again, wincing as the pressure of his body rubbing against mine revealed a whole slew of hurts from my battle with Wesley—and more than likely from the far more pleasurable activities that had come after.

He didn’t let go, one hand coming up to tweak one of my nipples. Much as I enjoy that delightful squirming you’re doing, I wish you would relax. I know you’re feeling regrets—don’t bother trying to deny it; I can feel it as well as you can—though I’ll be damned if I understand it.

That did it. Snarling, I slammed a fist against his arm. Most likely it was surprise rather than pain that made him move, but he finally let me go and pulled back, putting enough distance between us for me to whirl on him. I twisted around onto my knees, leveling a shaking finger at him.

"Don’t even pretend like you don’t know. You feel what I’m feeling, don’t you? Don’t you know just how damned creepy that is? How invasive? "

The thought alone made me ill. I was his property now, and not just on paper.

He owned me, body and soul. Not only had I abandoned my morals and common sense last night, I’d liked it. Liked the feel of his lips and tongue and fingers and other parts so intimately pressed against mine, all over, inside me, all while he drank my blood. What the hell was wrong with me that I’d liked being wrapped in Death’s arms and pounded into the mattress while my life was siphoned away a sip at a time?

Images of all of the ways he could take advantage of me while I was unable to defend myself whirled through my head like a maelstrom of horror-show terrors, a painful reminder that now I was just a blood whore, a plaything, and that I’d willingly put my life in his hands. Something very close to terror warred with the anger, but I wasn’t about to give in to the desire to run screaming from his bed. The things he could do to hurt me ran far deeper and were many times more intimate than the threat of what he could do with his fangs or physical strength, and running from them—from him—wasn’t an option.

Shiarra, I’m hardly—

"Oh, fuck ‘hardly.’ You know exactly what you’ve done. Instead of being Other, I’m just Other property now. A toy, right? One you can use or discard or bleed dry—"

"Shiarra."

The sharp tone of his voice cut right through the head of rant-fueled steam I was working up. He could have stopped a charging bull with that tone.

I shut my mouth and glared at him. He met my gaze squarely, his dark eyes narrowed and unflinching.

You know better by now. You know you’re not just a meal on legs. You know you’re more to me than entertainment.

That was . . . not what I had been expecting him to say.

You, he continued, and this time I didn’t withdraw as he leaned forward to gather my shaking hands in his, "have continued to frustrate and fascinate me since we first met. Do you realize that not one of my people noticed anything was wrong with me when I was under the influence of the Dominari Focus? Not one of them, Shiarra. Yet you, someone I could have hurt or destroyed in so many ways, chose to save me rather than leave me to my fate. Why would I ever hurt someone who did something so selfless on my behalf?"

A growing lump made it too hard to squeeze any words out in answer. I turned my eyes down, unable to meet his stare, focusing on our entwined fingers instead. He might have had a point, but it didn’t mean I was ready to put my trust in him.

His grip tightened, just a bit, before he pulled one hand free and shifted on the bed. He brushed the back of his hand against my cheek before sliding his fingers under my jaw to tilt my head up so I would look at him. Stubborn to the end, I closed my eyes.

I’ve been over this with you before. You still have doubts. Why?

After taking a few moments to swallow the emotions clogging my throat and to collect my thoughts, I attempted to answer him. He was being candid with me. Even if the only way I could get the words out was slow and halting, I’d try to do the same for him.

Doubting is one of the things I do best, I guess. It’s just that being with you like this—like last night—it means my dad was right. I’m not a Waynest anymore. Not myself anymore. Just another vampire’s puppet.

I peered up at him through my lashes, trying to figure out if that damning little tidbit had upset him. Royce’s expression was unreadable, his gaze burning into mine. I wasn’t sure if he was angry with me for being honest with him, but it was far too late to take the words back, and I’d never been good at hiding my thoughts from him. Especially when he was staring at me so intently, like he could see right past my eyes to the darkest thoughts buried in the back of my mind. Like he knew all the horrible things I didn’t want anybody to know. He might not judge me for them—but that didn’t mean I wanted him to know every thought inside my head as intimately as he’d come to learn the secrets of my body last night.

Practically vibrating with tension, I buried my face against his chest so I wouldn’t have to think about how he was already in my head. Maybe I could pretend when I wasn’t looking into his eyes that it made some kind of difference. It was as dumb as wishing for some way of taking back all the stupid things I’d done in the last month or so, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t make a valiant effort at denial.

I think he got the picture that talking about the situation was only making things worse. His voice, when he finally spoke, was strangely gentle, and made me feel like an even bigger fool for finding comfort in it.

Even after last night—you still think that I was only using you, or would abandon you once I got what I wanted?

I nodded, not trusting my voice. He ran his fingers through my hair and down my back, not saying anything for a time. It took awhile, but after the worst of my trembling tapered off, he slid a hand between us and nudged my chin up again so he could peer into my eyes.

What is it you fear has changed about you? What do you feel I have taken from you?

Biting my lip, I looked away again before answering him. Though it was hard to speak without breaking into tears, making the words soft and breathy, I’m pretty sure he still heard me just fine. My soul. My free will.

Shaking from a mix of stress and fatigue and a sickness more of mind than body, I jerked out of his grip and put some distance between us, turning my back on him as I swung my legs over the side of the futon—not that there was far for my feet to go to reach the floor—and put my head in my hands. He might own me now, but that didn’t mean I had to like it.

What hurt worst of all was knowing that my dad was right. I wasn’t fit to be a Waynest. I wasn’t even my own person anymore. Without the belt, I was just another helpless, hapless human, at the mercy of a monster who could feed off of or kill me at any time with no cost to himself. No safety nets. No taking it back. I’d put myself here, and now I would have to suffer the consequences of my own choices.

The vampire’s hand settled on my shoulder. The irony of that possessive gesture coinciding with my thoughts wasn’t lost on me. If anything, it made it harder to get the tears under control. When I didn’t turn around, he gripped my upper arm, not tight enough to hurt, but definitely enough to keep me from pulling away from him again.

Shiarra, please look at me.

I wouldn’t—couldn’t do it. He made a soft, frustrated sound in his throat before speaking.

I wish I had some way of expressing to you how much you mean to me in a way that you would accept. You saved my life, Shiarra, back when I meant nothing to you. You’re brave when you have every reason to run scared, you’ve shown a remarkable ability to think on your feet, and you’re resourceful. You’ve faced many of your fears, which is more than could be said for some of the most loyal of my number—but you hold to this idea that belonging to me makes you less than a person, and it’s simply not true. You are no less the woman you were before you let me touch you last night, and I have no intentions of discarding you like some broken toy.

This isn’t something you can fix, Royce, I said. My voice might have been thick with tears, but I was proud of myself for being able to say what I was thinking for once instead of choking on my own angst like a brooding teenager. You were just . . . you. It was my choice. I let it happen.

His voice was deadly cold and quiet. Are you telling me you consider last night a mistake?

I twisted to look at him, shocked.

He leaned in, using his grip on my arm to push me to my back. Before I knew it, his fingers, icy and implacable, tightened around my wrists. The growl rumbling in his throat made my knees quiver, and I gasped as my hands were abruptly pinned above my head, his lips brushing over my throat with a teasing rake of fangs as he leaned into me. His usually smooth voice came out rough, ragged, and I could very nearly taste the anger and frustration radiating from him around the bitter flavor of fear on my tongue.

Why is it you can’t accept that I don’t intend you any harm? I have fought everything that I am to be what I thought you would desire of me. I have left you to live your life as you wished it, rather than as I willed it. Do you know how difficult it was to wait idly by while you hemmed and hawed about whether you could trust me? Don’t you know that the temptation to interfere with your choices was nearly unbearable?

Don’t you know that’s what scares me about you? I shot back.

That seemed to startle him out of his sudden surge of anger. Though he drew back, peering down at me, his eyes still glittered with a hint of red deep in the pupils, pinpoint sparks gleaming like the reflection of light on his fangs.

His voice, though it had deepened with his anger, was steady. "I have been as kind and generous and understanding as I know how to be, Shiarra. I waited for you to come to me of your own will—and now that you have, you think that what we did was a mistake? After all that I have done? Still you spurn me, fear me. Am I not generous enough? Have I not been merciful? What must I say or do to make you understand that I have leashed everything that I am so that you would choose me of your own will?"

I don’t know, I cried, voice breaking even though I was doing my best not to let him see how much the truth of his words stung. "Don’t you think I know it’s stupid? For God’s sake, look at you! You’re a walking wet dream, you’re great in bed, you’ve got money and power and you have this fascination with me I can’t even begin to fathom. I know you haven’t done anything to hurt me, but I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop—I just don’t know, Royce! I wish I had a neat answer wrapped up in ribbons and bows to give you, but I don’t know what else to tell you. I’m so scared of what I’ve done and what I’m becoming that I can’t even think straight anymore. For crap’s sake, I barely trust myself, let alone someone I hardly know who holds the power of life and death over me. I’m not even close to coming to terms with what I did this month, so to ask me to come to grips with how I feel about you, too—please, just give me time. Please."

An aggravated hiss escaped from behind his clenched teeth before he leaned in. He closed his eyes, his hair becoming an inky curtain as he rested his brow lightly against my own. It took him a bit to speak again. Probably trying to collect himself so he wouldn’t throttle me out of sheer frustration.

"If you think I’m about to let your inaccurate, specious beliefs about me continue to stand, you are very sorely mistaken. You are every bit as human now as you were when you first entered my home last night. I have done nothing—nothing—to change that. Don’t hate yourself for letting me make you feel good. Giving in to me isn’t a crime. Liking the things I make you feel isn’t a sin against your family or your God. There is no shame in it. I won’t tolerate these misconceptions any longer, or see you destroy yourself, physically or emotionally, now that you’re finally mine—do you understand? You mean too much to me for me to allow that to happen."

I shuddered at his pronouncement. Though a part of me was absurdly pleased with his words, the rest of me was screaming in horror at that finally mine part. It only validated the terror of losing my own identity, only to be overshadowed by a new master I couldn’t live without.

Damn it, Shiarra, look at me!

I did. His normally black eyes were blazing red with anger, shining like bright beads of precious stones set in a lake of tar. His grip shifted, and he twined his fingers with mine before lifting one of my hands to press it to his cheek, much like we had done last night.

Why do you not believe me when I say you will remain your own person? You know I still taste you, crave you, want to be inside of you again. Can you honestly tell me you don’t want that too? That you don’t want me?

I wanted it. I wanted it so badly I could taste the remembered mint and copper of his mouth on my tongue.

But I wanted to stay me, too.

Please, I croaked between shallow pants, my fingers against his cheek lightly stroking his skin, pressing the length of my body against his to ease the growing heat and need, even though I knew I should have drawn away. Please, Royce, I can’t take this anymore. I can’t even figure out who or what I am, let alone what you are to me. Please.

No more tears. Not because of me. His hands cupped my cheeks as he tilted my head up so he could briefly press a kiss against each eyelid, his cool lips following the path of my tears as he whispered against my skin. You don’t need to be frightened anymore, my little hunter. You’ll always be safe—and yourself—with me.

When he loosened his grip and coaxed me to embrace him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and clutched at him. The hurting, lonely, emotional side of me that wanted to believe it all—heart and soul—was winning out over the dark part whispering what a terrifically awful idea it was to trust him.

You aren’t a pet or some mindless puppet, Shiarra. I’ll only take what you’ll freely give me, never force anything from you. I might tease you now and again, but it will remain no more than the occasional attempt to fluster you or coax you into trying something beyond your comfort zone. The fanged smile that curved his lips spoke of wicked things he already had in mind to talk me into. Even my dark, rational side admitted that might be some fun to go along with. You have my word.

It might have been more stupidity on my part, but I believed him. He hadn’t hurt me, hadn’t driven me away, hadn’t done anything other than reassure and comfort me. True, his methods were sometimes abhorrent, but his intentions, though not always clear, were good. I was the one with the hang-ups here, and I felt no small measure of shame for constantly treating him as the bad guy or thinking him responsible for every evil that had befallen me since I’d been drawn into the doings of the Others in this city.

I pressed a kiss to his chest before ducking my head, mumbling a few words that might or might not have been coherent. Spitting out the truth hurt, but I meant everything I said. Sorry . . . I’m sorry, too. Shouldn’t have said—shouldn’t think so little of you. I’m sorry, Royce.

He rested his cheek on the top of my head as his fingertips ran soothingly along my back, just holding me. It took awhile, but eventually my tears tapered off.

I’d done some terrible things during that time I had thought I might be turning into a werewolf, but maybe, with Royce’s help, picking up the shattered pieces of my life wouldn’t be as hard as I feared. Tackling everything alone had been incredibly foolish—as had my decision to go to the White Hats for help—so why not accept that the vampire could assist me? Aside from when he hadn’t really known me, or when he had been forced to by someone else, he had never done anything to hurt me. Doing things alone and ignoring his offers before had only gotten me into more trouble.

When I tilted my head back to give him a speculative look, considering the possibilities, he leaned forward just enough to brush a kiss over my brow.

It’s been an intensely stressful month for you. If you can’t bring yourself to trust me now, at the very least, give me the opportunity to earn it. I imagine there may be other times in the days ahead when you will need reassurance. There is no need to suffer in silence. You will come to me and allow me to help you instead of rushing off on your own now, yes?

That hit a little too close to home. I gave him a sharp poke in the side, followed by a disgruntled snort. Can we talk about anything other than that right now?

After you promise you will come to me if you need assistance.

I squirmed under his weight, frowning up at him. His pointed look as he rolled to the side, curling his arm under his head as he stared back, gave me the courage to say exactly what I was thinking.

Fine. I promise—Royce’s triumphant smirk faded when he realized I was tagging my own stipulation onto the deal—"if you promise you’ll stop trying to blackmail or manipulate me every time you want something."

His smile became more genuine. Is that all?

I thought about it. You’re also going to answer some questions. I’m tired of being scared and left in the dark. I hardly know anything about you. I want that to change.

A reasonable request. Agreed.

Good. Then I have something to ask right now. He nodded for me to continue. What the hell is with the futon?

He blinked. Then another slow smile spread, followed by a chuckle. I suppose you were expecting some vast acreage of satin sheets and mounds of pillows, hmm?

I knew I was turning red, could feel the heat blossoming in my cheeks, but I folded my arms and gave him a raised eyebrow while waiting for him to answer. Maybe I was. You’re not some college frat boy who can’t afford better, and every other piece of personal property of yours I’ve seen, from your clothes to your office—offices—whatever—practically screams ‘look at me, I have more money than God!’ So, explain it to me. Make me understand this piece of you.

He’d lived up to a number of vampire stereotypes in our previous encounters, being broody and dark and mysterious—but I knew there was more to him than that. The odd choice of furniture was one piece of the puzzle that didn’t fit, and I thought it might be a safe place to start learning more about the man hiding behind the mask of a monster. From the looks of things,

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