Love is not blind: Discerning fake love

By Anuroop Sebastian

Anuroop Sebastian explores the theme of "true" vs. counterfeit, or "fake," love and explains how the reader can identify the real thing by following the example of Jesus. In John 2:24, Jesus rejects the praises of a certain group of people. Their praises appear to be genuine but Jesus knows that they are simply flattering Him. Yet when Mary pours expensive perfume on His feet, he accepts her love (John 12:1-8). Jesus had the ability to discern the true nature of others by listening to their hearts instead of listening to their words or following their actions! The author will show how the Bible gives readers the wisdom to recognize their true friends and safeguard themselves from toxic relationships.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Creative Press
• Release date: Feb 15, 2019
• ISBN: 9780899855240

Book preview

AUTHOR

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS



I would like to personally thank and dedicate this book to everyone who has helped me to grow in the Lord. Each one of you is a gift from God. You have helped to bear my burdens. Many of you have carried the heavy end of several logs with me. If I have succeeded in great trials as I traveled through dark and dangerous paths, it is because you lent me your torches in the first place. I am grateful.

May God richly bless you with the grace that is needed to fulfill your calling.

INTRODUCTION



DISCERNING FAKE LOVE

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

(Proverbs 27:6 NIV)

One day while praying, I saw a vision: In this vision, I saw a close friend of mine, a professing Christian, trying to hang me. At that time, I rarely saw visions; I was shocked by it and didn’t understand what it meant. This vision was not a result of my imagination because I would never have imagined that my close friend would attempt to kill me. This was very confusing to me because the person I saw in the vision appeared to be very nice. But I knew that the vision was from God.

Somebody said, truth is stranger than fiction, meaning that reality can be more bizarre than anything that can be imagined. During the subsequent years, I came to know that this person had a history of psychological illness, which of course I didn’t know about when I saw the vision. The miswiring of the certain regions of the brain may cause psychological illnesses. However, that was not the reason for this person’s mental condition. The Bible shows that in some cases, these disorders are connected to demons, as seen in the biblical account of the madman of Gadara (Mark 5).

There were some rare occasions when this person I saw in the vision had extreme and dangerous character fluctuations: He could turn into another person and deeply hurt others. However, he did not have Multiple Personality Disorder. There were times when his actions proved that he did not have any conscience or natural affections, and he expressed absolute selfishness. For the most part, he appeared to be godly and an extremely spiritual person.

If you had met him, you would have never noticed that he had any kind of mental disorder. For 99.9 percent of the time, he was normal. It appeared as though he had a conscience for that part of the time, but for the other 0.01 percent, there was no conscience. I was absolutely shocked when I came to know about his extreme and dangerous character fluctuations. I never expected that someone who appeared to be a deeply spiritual person could have a strong demonic nature. If I had known about it, I would have stayed away.

Now, let us go back to the vision. I knew that God was speaking to me, but I did not understand the full meaning of the vision, and I didn’t take it seriously. After a few weeks, I received a phone call from this person I saw in the vision and had a short chat with him over the phone. The next night, tragedy struck—I couldn’t sleep! I was shocked. I think I eventually fell asleep around 6 am and woke up after an hour. This was a strange experience for me. Some people suffer from insomnia due to stress, but I was not in any stressful situation that might cause me to lose sleep. This life of sleeplessness later developed into a pattern; from then on, I only slept a few hours every day. Then I remembered the warnings in the vision.

Many of my Christian friends prayed for my deliverance. But I did not get healed, and the insomnia persisted. I was wondering why my prayers were not being answered. Then, I attended a ministers’ conference. After I returned from the conference, I slept well.

I also saw a second vision. In this one, I saw the same person from the previous vision, but now he was carrying a gun. He was looking for an opportunity to shoot me. I saw myself barely escaping being killed by him. So I stopped communicating with the person from these visions.

I began to ponder these matters before the Lord. What is the meaning of all these strange experiences? How did I suddenly get insomnia? As I was praying over it, God also began to impress upon my heart to stay away from a few other individuals whom I considered to be friends.

After a lengthy season of prayer, I heard the voice of God. God said, Do not accept their love! When I heard the voice of God, I was alone in my apartment. Then, I realized that the love and friendship that were given to me by my so-called friends were fake. The meaning of the two visions that I mentioned is about spiritual contamination, not physical threats. The man that I saw in the visions does not have a violent nature.

Most people think that the devil will come in with a red suit and a pitchfork in his hand. Don’t be naive! The Bible says, Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14, KJV). Jesus said that we need to watch out for false prophets who are ferocious wolves; but they will come in sheep’s clothing (Matthew 7:15).

I chose the title of the book, Love is Not Blind:Discerning Fake Love, to expose Satan’s ability to imitate God’s love. The words fake and counterfeit mean the same thing—a fraudulent imitation of something that is valuable. Satan has a strategy to create counterfeit or fake love, which is not the real thing. You may be sincerely giving true love to your friend. But is your friend paying you back with fake love? Accepting fake love will give you great joy, but it leads to deception. Sure, the devil will generously pay you, but the cash is counterfeit.

This book is about relationships. It gives readers the wisdom to recognize their true friends and enables them to safeguard themselves from toxic relationships.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

(Matthew 6:13 NIV)

Matthew 6:13 commands us to pray for protection from the evil one. May the Lord give us the wisdom to discern fake love. I humbly thank you for reading the first volume of The Discerning Series.

Your brother in Christ,

Anuroop Sebastian

CHAPTER ONE



FRIENDSHIP IS ACCEPTING A PERSON’S LOVE

There are so many definitions of love. I think the best definition is that when you love someone, you place great value on that person. The value that you place on your friends will be evidenced not by what you say to them, but by the way that you treat them. That’s what counts.

Friendships

Friendships begin when you accept a person’s love. If you do not accept someone’s love, you are not his or her friend. I am so glad to have genuine friends in my life. My friends have encouraged, advised, and corrected me many times. Friends are treasures; they are gifts from God. They have given so much to me. When I was going through some of the most difficult times in my life, it was my friends who helped me through it. They came to help me when my whole world was falling apart. I could never repay them, even in a lifetime. To be sure I’m on the right track, I have friends to whom I frequently talk. These individuals are some of the most valuable assets in my life.

Let me start by asking you this question: Do you have such friends—loyal and trustworthy—who value you and show you how much they value you? Many people do not have these kinds of friends. The reason is that at one time in their lives they trusted someone very deeply, only to discover that they had been betrayed. Now, they cannot or will not allow themselves to trust anyone again.

The Power of Agreement

Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

(Amos 3:3)

Why is it hard to find covenant friends? The answer is simple: It is hard to find someone who can fully understand your life’s journey. To fully understand someone, it may involve at least one of these three possibilities:

It could be because you both have gone through similar life experiences. A true friend understands your pain because he has gone through similar experiences. Even though they are not the exact same experiences, these experiences in life give two individuals a common perspective.

Two people have a mutual attraction to each other’s personality. In other words, it’s the chemistry between two people.

It is a friendship that is developed over time, and it becomes a strong bond.

Our covenant friends are intimately interconnected with each other. They will always be on your side to help you meet your destiny, and one of their main goals in life is to see you succeed. True friends rejoice at your success. They are not envious or intimidated by your achievements, because you cannot be envious of people you love. True friends are not seeking to get something from you to promote themselves. They want to give more than to receive. You can share your innermost thoughts with them. I believe that if you have at least two true covenant friends, you are a blessed person. You do not need a lot of friends, but you do need a few good ones.

Paul’s Friendship With Timothy

At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them.

(2 Timothy 4:16)

In 2 Timothy 4:16, Paul is referring to his first trial at the Roman Imperial Court. None of his friends stood by him to testify for his defense during the trial. All of his friends forsook him because associating with Paul was costing them. If betrayal can happen to the apostle Paul, it can also happen to us.

One good example of a covenant friendship is the relationship between the apostle Paul and Timothy. Paul poured his life into Timothy, and Timothy valued Paul. Timothy was on Paul’s side in good times and bad times.

Accepting a Person’s Love

As I mentioned earlier, friendships always begin when you accept a person’s love; if you do not accept someone’s love, you are not his or her friend. I believe there are three main factors in developing friendships:

Accepting a person’s love.

The level of uniformity of thoughts, opinions, perspectives, and beliefs.

The level of uniformity of character traits.

Accepting a person’s love is the reason that friendships develop. Next, there must also be something in common. You are comfortable with others who share your opinions and have similar character traits. Even though best friends may not agree on everything, there has to be a high level of uniformity in fundamental beliefs to establish solid friendships. It is impossible to become best friends when there are too many wide disagreements and major differences of opinions.

Some friends are like Teflon nonstick cookware. In the beginning it is very shiny, but after a while, when the pressure of heat is applied, it eventually falls apart. This is the ultimate test of friendship: When everyone else walks away, who will be on your side? Real friends will stick with you at the most trying times in your life, even if supporting you may cost them something in the end. They bear each other’s burdens. Real love will always cost you. This is the kind of friend I like to be. And these are the kinds of friends I like to have.

CHAPTER TWO



WHO IS YOUR FRONT ROW AUDIENCE?

The author of the poem, Life is a Theater, compares each of us to an actor performing on the stage. The audience represents the people in our lives. Those who love us have the front row seats, and those in the balcony are the ones you have to love from a distance. The author differentiates between the ones who are among the front row audience and the ones who are sitting in the balcony. We need to be careful of the people we allow to sit in the front row of our lives.

The ones who sit on the front row are important to you because you observe their response while you are performing the act. If they cheer for you, you get the encouragement to perform better. If they do not respond to your performance, it can discourage you. The ones who sit on the front row are the ones with whom you can be totally transparent; you can open your lives to them. You can talk about your weaknesses and fears to them. You can trust them with your secrets, and they do not share your secrets on Facebook.

When you share your secrets with others, you are establishing strong relationships. You are telling them that you trust them with your secrets. The more genuine your friendships are, the more transparent you will become to them. However, you must be prepared; there will be very few of them you can totally trust.

Tears and Laughter

There will also be times of tears and laughter. None of us is perfect. All of us can have misunderstandings. Your friends may hurt you, and you may hurt your friends. So, there will be times when you will have to cry with your friends; there will be tears. Then, you will have times when you will laugh together as you get over the hurts that you’ve caused each other. All of us have to put up with each other.

All of it comes down to one major question: Does your friend truly love you, in spite of the fact that he has caused you hurt or pain?

To answer this question, I am putting myself on the spot. There are times when I have