Identity Crisis: Standing Between Two Identities of Women Believers from Muslim Backgrounds in Jordan

By Sarah Yoon and Terry C. Muck

This book provides a general overview of the identity crises BMB (believer from Muslim background) women in Jordan go through and reasons for it. Traditionally, persecution from family, community, or the secret police is thought to leave these women with newfound faith. However, even before persecution exposes their new faith, many initial believers give up seeking the new truth and return to their previous phase due to a serious identity crisis. This phenomenon is found to occur particularly often among female BMBs because of their unique circumstances in the religious and sociocultural contexts of Jordan. Through an examination of BMB women's narratives, this book explores how Muslim women form their identities and what they experience in the process of conversion.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wipf and Stock
• Release date: Mar 17, 2015
• ISBN: 9781630879167

Sarah Yoon

Sarah Yun has been working with Muslim women over twelve years and is a professor at a theological seminary in the Middle East.

Book preview

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Identity Crisis

Standing Between Two Identities of Women Believers from Muslim Backgrounds in Jordan

Sarah Yoon

Foreword by Terry Muck

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IDENTITY CRISIS

Standing Between Two Identities of Women Believers from Muslim

Backgrounds In Jordan

Copyright © 2015 Sarah Yoon. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical publications or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Write: Permissions, Wipf and Stock Publishers, 199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3, Eugene, OR 97401.

Wipf & Stock

An Imprint of Wipf and Stock Publishers

199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3

Eugene, OR 97401

www.wipfandstock.com

isbn 13: 978-1-62564-857-0

eisbn 13: 978-1-63087-916-7

Manufactured in the U.S.A.

This book is dedicated to my late mother, Sungkuk Yun.

List of Tables

Table 1: Interview with Muslim Women | 101

Table 2: Interview with BMB Women | 118

Table 3: Jordanian BMB Women’s Theories and Challenges to Form a New Identity | 146

Table 4: Jordanian BMB Women’s Challenges to Create a New Identity | 147

List of Figures

Figure 1: The Process of BMB Women’s Identity Formation | 157

Foreword

After years of telling Jordanian Muslim women the story of Jesus, Sarah Yoon identified a problem. Among those Jordanian Muslim women who embraced the implications of what Jesus did and decided to follow the Jesus Way, many very quickly reached an impasse. To paraphrase the Apostle Paul, what they wanted to do (follow Jesus) they found themselves unable to do (Rom 7:18). Sarah Yoon wondered why this happened. Although she acknowledged the traditional missiological wisdom that this impasse was the result of cultural factors—family, friends, nation—that were Muslim, not Christian, making it very difficult for these women to become Christian, Sarah thought there was more to it than that. She suspected that in addition to cultural difficulties, there were equally inhibiting personal issues at play. An identity crisis was taking place. Raised and socialized to see themselves as Muslim women, they simply could not take the leap to see themselves as Christian women. What they want to do, they do not do.

Conversion to Christianity has many facets. Scholars who study it, missiologists who encourage it, and theologians who explain it never run out of new angles to explore. Conversion—the religious change that takes place in a previously non-Christian person to a person who embraces some form of Christianity—is considered by many to be the foundational act of a human being. Conversion is a return, a reversion if you will, to what God originally intended us to be in the garden of Eden. It is the end of one way of living and the beginning of another. People who were once lost are now found. It involves both a radical change of heart and mind, and a gradual growth process toward becoming more like Jesus. Over time, usually by joining with other similarly transforming people, new Christians acquire a new set of beliefs and behaviors that mark them as Christian. Given this obvious importance it is little wonder that many theories of conversion have emerged over the years.

Lewis Rambo has related the extensive psychological findings of decision making to religious conversion. Jim Engel has helpfully delineated a process of becoming Christian that begins with a general awareness of God and ends with a life of service in building God’s kingdom. Andrew Walls uses the stay of a Christian missionary to China, Timothy Richards, to show that at least part of the converting process involves finding a specific role of service, ordained by God, carried out by us. Many have written about the aspects of cultural conversions or christianization that include the transformation of entire cultures from non-Christian to Christian, whatever that may mean in different contexts. Lesslie Newbigen emphasized the cumulative nature of the transforming process, observing that in India, at least, becoming Christian is the result of many contacts with Christians and Christian acts of charity.

Sarah Yoon’s work among Jordanian believers of Muslim backgrounds adds to this impressive array of work by focusing on identity, hybridity, and complex cultures. By focusing on individual issues of complex religious identity, Dr. Yoon does not eschew the work that has been done on conversion as seem purely through the theological lens of God’s gracious authority toward us all, nor the crucial insights of cultural anthropologists who note the crucial and unavoidable impact of culture on religious choices, nor the practical wisdom of mission workers who have devoted their lives to telling the good news to these who have not heard. But Dr. Yoon’s focus on identity has resonances with several global realities that mission workers ignore at their peril: The global reality (1) that it is extremely unlikely that significant Muslim cultures will become Christianized; (2) that competing missions from Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, and others will simply melt away; (3) that historical missions to Muslim women and men have been largely ineffective if measured by the number of converts; and (4) that women are rarely seen as significant players in the mission equations and scenarios.

Thus, the challenge is to learn how to encourage the conversion to Christianity of people who choose to remain cultural Muslims, cultural Hindus, cultural Buddhists; to convert other religious missions to become partners in our common human religious quests for human flourishing, not competitors—without giving up on the uniqueness of Christianity; to acknowledge the uniqueness—and importance—of women’s religious quests, seen not over against male quests, but as complementary to them; and to have enough humility to participate in the missio Dei without so dramatically turning it into the missio humana, thereby giving up our tendencies toward an over-reliance on human measures of effectiveness and instead trying to see effectiveness through God’s eyes. All this, Sarah Yoon’s argument does.

Terry Muck

Executive Director, Louisville Institute

Preface

This book is designed to help people understand BMB (believer from Muslim background) women’s situation in Jordan. Islam is not only a religion, but the foundational root of all Muslims’ lives in all areas of life. A Muslim finds the meaning of life and her/his primary identities from Islam. When a Muslim converts to Christianity or any other religion, she/he faces a great deal of confusion regarding oneself and dilemmas about one’s circumstances. Hence, although some Muslims have an interest in and respond to the good news of the gospel, many of them leave this newfound faith in a short time without specific reasons. In contrast to the general assumption that many new converts or seekers leave their new faith because of persecution or pressure from family members or communities, I seek to show that the major reason they leave is that they face identity confusion primarily inside of themselves.

Jordan is a traditional Islamic country. Jordanian women also format their identities upon Islamic values under gender-oriented social and religious influences. This research is about the identity crises new women believers face when they come from an Islamic background in the Jordanian context. It studies how Jordanian Muslim women have built on their women’s identity and what kind of identity crises they go through. It consists of a total of six chapters. The first chapter deals with my autobiographical background for research, observations regarding believers from Muslim backgrounds (BMB) in Jordan and theoretical research about conversion, Islamic religious traditions, and identity. The second chapter studies the identity of women in Christianity and Islam, as defined by the Bible and Qur’an, respectively. The third chapter deals with the life and identity of Jordanian women. It searches a general context of Islamic backgrounds of Jordan, Jordanian understanding and relationship with Christians in their history and society and women’s identity under these sociocultural influences. The fourth chapter includes interviews with Muslim women, BMB women and Christian women workers who are involved in ministries to BMB women. The fifth chapter is findings and analysis on the research. It figures out the challenges of women and reasons of identity crisis of BMB women in the conversion process. The final chapter gives integrative summaries and suggestions for further study.

When a Muslim woman converts to Christianity, she experiences that her existing Muslim identity interferes in the formation of the new identity of being a Christian, so she faces an identity crisis between her old Muslim identity and her new Christian identity. Hence she is challenged by the discontinuity of the past in the process of creating her new identity. It includes not only the religious dimension, but also sociocultural dimensions.

Acknowledgments

Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, O my soul. I will praise the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to the Lord all my life

(Psalm

146

:

1

–

2

, NIV).

Special thanks go to Jordanian Muslim women and BMB women who are the motive and reason for my research and ministry along with Dr. Terry Muck, who is a mentor and has helped me to finish my research.

I am also deeply grateful to my family. Jaehyung Yoon, my husband, and Taehuyn and Dohyun, my two sons have always been patient with me and have supported me in diverse ways.

1

Introduction

Autobiographical Background to the Study

I was born and raised in a sincere Buddhist family. Following my family, I went to a Buddhist temple and practiced Buddhist rituals since I was young. When I was eleven years old, I had heard about Christianity from my elementary school Christian teacher. I hated to hear about Christianity, but at the same time I was very curious to hear what it was like. I was wondering: if every religious adherent claimed that they believed in the true God—such as Buddha for Buddhists, Jesus Christ for Christians—then who is the true God? Is Buddha the true God or Jesus Christ or anyone else? I decided to learn more about Christianity. I went to church alone without telling my family, but it was hard for me to secretly continue going to church. I could not keep telling lies whenever I went out to go to church on Sunday. Hence, my family eventually found out, and it took a long time to obtain permission to attend church.

During that time, I had very mixed feelings and various thoughts of myself. For me, choosing another religion from my family meant betraying them and admitting that they would go to hell because of their unbelief of Jesus Christ. However, my heart was already moving more toward God than Buddha while I had known God and Jesus. God protected me and helped me keep my faith through all difficulties and eventually brought salvation to my family. I dedicated my life to sharing the truth with those who don’t know Jesus Christ, and have become a worker overseas serving the Arabs in Jordan for over ten years.

In Jordan, I have found that the dynamics of people’s life and perspectives are influenced by various factors from Arab traditionalism to postmodern tendencies. I have seen that many Muslims want to know more about Jesus Christ and to become Christians. At the same time, I have watched Jordanian converts face huge tensions in the process of changing their religion, and how difficult it is for them to become established in their new faith. In particular, women seem to have more hardships in becoming Christian than men.

Here are my experiences with two women (a BMB and a seeker) in Jordan.

• Case 1

Kaldiye¹ worked as a nurse at the Christian hospital and attended the meetings for patients in which Christian staff share the gospel with Muslim patients. One day she came to me and said that she understood what I had shared at the meeting and wanted to know more about Jesus. I explained the gospel and the cost for her of becoming a Christian. In spite of that, she wanted to accept Jesus as her Savior, so we prayed together and Jesus Christ became her Savior in September

2008

. She and I started having a Bible study, and I found out that it was not easy for her to follow the general style of Bible study that answers questions about the Bible at a beginner level. However when I asked about her faith in Jesus Christ, she clearly understood the redemption of Jesus Christ and the content of the gospel. She only made it to two Bible studies with me, and because of her mother’s illness, she had to leave the hospital. In spite of her circumstances, she made many appointments with me for Bible studies over the phone, but she didn’t keep most of them. Later, she didn’t even answer my phone calls. This all happened within three months.

• Case 2

Fatima was a graduate student in one of the universities in Jordan. She was hospitalized at the Christian hospital for a month in July

2009

. Through Christians who worked at the hospital, she heard the gospel for the first time in her life. Although she did not accept Jesus Christ as her Savior, she could not deny her interest in knowing more about Jesus and Christianity. After leaving the hospital, she searched the internet and looked for more information about the subject. One day in November I met her at the university in which she studied and I gave her a Bible and several other Christian books. Fatima was very happy with the books. In fact, she was actually looking for some of the same books that I had given her. I invited her to have a Bible study with me and she gladly accepted. However, she made an excuse and didn’t come to the first Bible study. I made another appointment with her, but she didn’t appear again. After that, she never even answered my phone calls.

Along with these cases, I’ve watched many other Jordanian women and men seekers and believers stagnate in their faith or give up seeking about their new interest/faith in Christianity. The spirit of Islam is embedded in all customs and traditions, and extends throughout all activity, thought, and feeling of Muslims.² Islam is the crucial basis of identity for Muslims. The term Muslim refers to their total identity, not just their religious identity. Therefore making the choice to leave Islam and to follow Jesus Christ has serious costs for converts in all the diverse dimensions of their lives.

Statement of the Problem

Nur Armangan, a Turkish BMB and missiologist, states that many converts from Islamic backgrounds give up their new faith within the first two years of their initial decision.³ Traditionally, it is known that believers from a Muslim background (BMB) have threats/realities of persecution from family, community, society, or the secret police. However, I have also observed the important phenomenon that even before persecution or having their new faith exposed, many seekers or initial believers give up seeking the new truth and return to their previous phase. My experience shows that this phenomenon is found to occur more among female BMBs in particular, because of the unique circumstances in religious and sociocultural aspects in Jordan. Therefore, the social and religious issue my research addresses is that many female BMBs in Jordan experience difficulties to keep their faith, particularly in a context like Jordan where becoming a Christian is illegal for Muslims. Some of them stop seeking their new faith and/or return to their old beliefs.

There are many factors contributing to their difficulties and one of them is the critical factor of identity crisis. Specifically then, I set out to do research on the problem: It is extremely difficult for female BMBs in Jordan to become and stay Christians, because of all the identity issues such a conversion raises.

Assumptions and Questions for Research

Why do BMB women have difficulties keeping their new found faith and does this phenomenon happen with a higher occurrence among female Muslim BMBs or seekers? First of all, the nature of conversion involves not just adopting a set of ideas but also converting to and from an embodied worldview and identity.⁴ When people decide to convert or to seek a new faith, there are not only different theological ideas to be changed, but many other aspects of their life are also in need of conversion—mind, culture, identity, and even worldview. I observed that these fundamental issues often occur at the beginning of their conversion. When a Muslim becomes a Christian, the construction of a new identity as a Christian is an absolute necessity that needs to be addressed. However, one’s existing Muslim identity can interfere in the formation of the new identity of being a Christian, so the person faces an identity crisis between their old Muslim and new Christian identities.

Secondly, with reference to identity, Muslim women exist in unique milieus in which to construct their identities. These identities must fall in line with Islamic religious traditions and customs. Historically, it is known that Muslim women have not been free to define their own identities, or to be agents of social change.⁵ Women’s identity in an Islamic society such as Jordan is limited by gender-oriented social influences and customs.

Hence, the assumption of this research is that the unavoidable identity crisis is one of the reasons that make Jordanian BMB women experience difficulties making the decision to follow Christ or to keep their new faith after conversion, particularly in the early phases of their seeking. Based on this assumption, I addressed the significant research question: When Jordanian Muslim women convert to Christianity, what kind of difficulties and identity crises do they go through?

Delimitations of the Research

By and large there are two streams of thoughts on gender in modern Islamic societies. Conservatives in Islam consider that the preservation of traditional gender relationships is important to the social structure of Islam.⁶ In contrast, feminists apply a feminist critique to the patriarchal aspect of Islam, asserting that an extensive rereading of history and reinterpretation of the texts is necessary to find the original meanings of them.⁷ In contemporary Muslim women’s identity studies Fatima Mernissi (1987), Amina Wadud (2006), Nimat Hafez Barazangi (2006), and others focus on proving equality between Muslim men and women and debunk how women’s status is degraded according to sharia law (Islamic law) and Islamic traditions. My focus in this research has been on how ordinary Jordanian Muslim women have constructed their identities under commonly accepted conservative Sunni understandings of the Qur’anic descriptions about women and sociocultural standards. Hence, I did not deal with the debate on women’s rights and the equality of Muslim women’s social status in comparison to men or the interpretation of the Qur’an and Islamic religious traditions. Furthermore, in quoting and referencing voices about Muslim women’s circumstances, I tried to describe the most common Middle Eastern view of women. Sometimes words can convey different meanings according to different cultural contexts. For instance, Yvonne Yazbeck Haddad refuses to apply the concept of women’s liberation used in the West when referring to the East. She differentiates the meaning of the liberation in the Middle East from the West. According to her, women’s liberation in the West seeks for women’s politically won rights, but in the Middle East it "continues to seek her liberation within the confines of the role assigned to her by