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Manufacturosaurus: Near Extinction
Manufacturosaurus: Near Extinction
Manufacturosaurus: Near Extinction
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Manufacturosaurus: Near Extinction

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“Manufacturosaurus: Near Extinction” is a compilation of stories detailing the decline of manufacturing in the USA from approximately 1970 to 1990 (Volume 1). Since the early 1970’s we have witnessed the greatest historical period of manufacturing devastation in the history of the United States, an erosion of manufacturing know-how that has left many of our cities in a state of RUST-DECA-OLOPOLIS. We, as a nation, entered a period of “Complacency Sleep.”
The United States is now a country with a national debt exceeding 20 trillion dollars. Nations that are productive and rich thrive and survive. History is replete with failed nation-states. Will we, as a nation, continue to exasperate the current status quo and fall into a “Complacency Creep Sleep?”
The author has worked in a myriad of industrial manufacturing and distribution operations, producing a vast array of products, which has given him rare insight into how things work or, as you are about to learn, often times don’t work. This book is not for the faint of heart and some of the language is corrosive (a manufacturing term.)
This is a difficult, tough subject to address, as the author takes the reader on numerous emotional, wild, educational rides. The stories are based on true incidents (with a 10% allowance for author originality) that occurred behind the Iron Curtain in Poland during the Soviet Occupation, prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall on November 9, 1989. What was it like being one of the few Americans to work in a communist-occupied country? What were the challenges that the author faced each day being followed by the KGB, 24/7/365? How did an American manufacturing company guarantee the quality and performance of a product manufactured under an exclusive licensing agreement with a Soviet Bloc Country?
As if those challenges weren’t enough, the author also worked in the rough-and-tumble automotive industry and the highly competitive, fractions-of-a-penny, cost-conscious electronics industry. He experimented with off-shore manufacturing in Mexico — prior to NAFTA.
The author incorporates dinosaur caricatures coupled with whimsical definitions of their personalities, Gordisms, and geographical pseudonyms, which add a jocular twist to the stories. You will laugh, you will think, you will frown, and some of you will even cry over these real-world events that impacted the lives of tens of thousands of people.
NOSTROVIA!

LanguageEnglish
Release dateJan 30, 2019
ISBN9780463992494
Manufacturosaurus: Near Extinction
Author

Gordon O Spark

ABOUT THE AUTHOR GORDON SPARK (Gordy) has over 45 years of proven experience in manufacturing and distribution operations and has worked for a myriad of corporations; private, public {FORTUNE 500 & DOW 30} and nonprofit, with annual revenues ranging from $5 million to over $1 billion. Gordy is a survivor of the Great Manufacturing Complacency Creep spanning a period from the early 1970’s to today. Gordy is still consulting today continuing to broaden the diverse range of industries that he has provided common sense solutions, for complex challenging conditions. Decades of hands-on experience has honed his unique ability to quickly assess where hidden values in all aspects of manufacturing and distribution operations can be tapped to improve the bottom line. His management of ERP installations and modernizations began with the installation of one of the first ERP products launched in the USA, ASK-MANMAN Systems in the mid 1980’s. Since that time, he has led ERP installation and modernization teams for a wide range of products including: SAP, 4th Shift Edition, JD Edwards, MISys Manufacturing, Epicor, Synergistic Systems, Infor VISUAL ERP and SSA Global Technologies ERP MK Manufacturing/Distribution/WMS and other legacy systems. He has traveled extensively in the USA and overseas and spent considerable time working behind the IRON CURTIAN in Poland, under the auspices of one of the few Licensing Agreements indirectly approved, by the occupying military forces of the Soviet Union. He holds a BS in International Studies from the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh, Wisconsin and an MBA in Finance from Lake Forest Graduate School of Management, Lake Forest, Illinois. He currently holds US Patents and has contributed to the development of other patented designs. He is married, has three children, lives in Colorado, still “chases” steam locomotives, is a DIY aficionado, enjoys collecting Currier and Ives original prints {railroad images preferred}, while scouring antique stores from coast to coast and is currently working diligently on Volume II of MANUFACTUROSAURUS THE SURVIVING SPECIES. NOSTROVIA!

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    Manufacturosaurus - Gordon O Spark

    Manufacturosaurus

    Near Extinction

    Gordon O. Spark

    Illustrations by Shannon Spark

    Copyright 2019 by Gordon O. Spark

    All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

    Copyright Registration Number TX 8-694-507

    Cover and interior design by Steuben Press

    Illustrations by Shannon Spark

    eBook by e-book-design.com

    This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

    First Edition

    Print copies of Manufacturosaurus Near Extinction are available for purchase online.

    Smashwords Edition

    Licensing Notes

    This e-book is licensed for your personal use and enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or if it was not purchased for your use only, please visit Smashwords.com and purchase a copy for yourself. Thank you for respecting this author’s work.

    Praise for Manufacturosaurus Near Extinction

    With humor and candor, author Gordy Spark makes you his personal companion in his journey from college student during the Vietnam era, first job and promotions that show how mentoring happens, and how relationships are nurtured that led him to managerial leadership in the volatile U.S. manufacturing environments of the 1970’s and 80’s. His planning of manufacturing operations in Mexico before NAFTA, and his insights into the manufacturing world while Eastern Europe was behind the Iron Curtain, are truly unique experiences of the author.

    New grads can observe the work ethic required for achieving leadership in any organization and those of us who experienced the same time frames will be completely entertained by Gordy’s insights. We can all reflect on how things were then and how today’s society compares. You’ll enjoy this journey!

    ~ Nancy J. Perkins, FIDSA, Former CEO of the Dallas Lighthouse for the Blind

    An invaluable reflection on the evolution of the manufacturing industry that brings the need for solid fundamentals and hands-on experience full circle. This brilliant book is a must read for anyone wanting real-life insight into the manufacturing, engineering, and operations disciplines. Gordy Spark uses vivid personal stories to teach valuable lessons in the art and science of manufacturing. Through his insight, the stories and lessons spark provocative questions for readers to engage in more meaningful conversations that can produce innovative solutions in today’s volatile business environment. When you apply the principles, you can transform your perspective and learn the things you don’t know, that you don’t know. This is a great resource for industry newcomers, veterans and professors, as it offers thought-provoking ideas, tips, and ways to re-imagine manufacturing of the future.

    ~ John Johnson, PhD, Chief Technology Officer and Adjunct Professor, Richland College, School of Business

    Table of Contents

    Acknowledgments

    Dedication

    Introduction

    Manufacturosaurus: Gordisms

    Manufacturosaurus: Extinction Definitions

    45-1 Washington Motor Works

    Back To School

    The Interview

    Industrial Engineer

    The UAW

    Line Balancing, Queing, Labor Loading and The Wasp Hatchback

    The Pace-Maker

    45-10.5 International Reaper

    Interview Roughe-Tl

    Advanced Planning Process Engineer Roughe-Tl

    Worldwide Engineering and Poland

    Welcome to Poland and the Sputnik Hotel

    The Huta

    The Shadow

    Dread

    The Cardinal

    We Have More

    Tu-154

    Steam

    Bathrooms

    Hospital

    Ching, Ching, Ching

    Vacation and Bon Fires

    45-17 Whitchcraft Works

    The Interview

    O’Shaughnessy Plant

    Die Casting and Plating

    South of the Border

    Power Providers

    Bibliography

    Endnotes

    About the Author

    Acknowledgments

    Thank you, Lord God, for granting me good health, a sense of humor, strength and endurance to complete this work.

    When this all began, decades ago, I had no idea how challenging it was going to be to write a book. Nor did I have any inkling of the mixture of emotions that I would feel while writing this book. My family witnessed it all and kept reassuring me that somehow, someway, I would complete the task. I love you all for your patience and contributions in getting ‘er done.

    The editing of this book would not have been accomplished without the phenomenal efforts of Mikhaila A. Redovian. She endured my selective idiosyncrasies of writing prose and corrected my mishaps one by one. Mikhaila did all this while she was completing her Master’s Degree in English at the University of Colorado Boulder. Thank you!

    The illustrations in the book, including the cover, were all completed by my daughter, Shannon Spark. Possibly it had something to do with a father-daughter relationship, I’m just not sure, but Shannon took my abstract descriptions (visions) of caricatures and gave them life. The caricatures are remarkably creative, artistic, fun and just plain cool. Thanks so much for all the hard work. Love, Dad.

    Special thanks are given from the bottom of my heart to Nancy J. Perkins, FIDSA, Former CEO of the Dallas Lighthouse for the Blind and John Johnson, PhD, Chief Technology Officer and Adjunct Professor, Richland College, School of Business, who graciously accepted my requests to review this book. Happily, they both were thrilled with the writing (would one possibly think otherwise?) and their synopses are on the back cover. I will always be indebted to you both for your help, thank you!

    Finally, it is impossible to thank all my friends and close colleagues who kept egging me on to finish the book. To all of you and yes, you know who you are, THANKS.

    Gordy

    Dedication

    Dedicated to the masters of the game.

    SNOOKERUM-OCTOSPHEREICUS

    Introduction

    Four plus decades in manufacturing and distribution operations and my close friends say that I am still sane. They are good friends and they are still alive, so I know they are lying. Anyone that could endure working in this industry since the early 1970’s must be crazy. Volatility cannot adequately describe the roller coaster ride you are about to enjoy when reading MANUFACTUROSAURUS NEAR EXTINCTION. The book is a Novel Hybrid; the stories are true, {or close to true}, the players are real and yes, the names have been changed to protect the quasi innocent.

    To set the record straight, I am a manufacturing junkie who loves things that go whoosh, kathunk, whackata-whackata, zip-zip, chug-chug, puff-puff, and move. Because of my addiction and youthful stupidity, I now wear two hearing aids and remind people all the time to wear ear protection.

    What motivates people to do the things they do? In my case, it is not money, although always appreciated. Coupling, no; difficult to do with a hardback, or paperback book. Drugs, no; difficult to smoke words with meaning. Rock and roll, no; yes, a love for music, but none of the passages have a corresponding clever rhyme. Avarice, no; what’s that? Power, no; we all know that comes from wind and solar. Greed, no; that’s for pirates and politicians. Perhaps then, it’s learning? That’s what this text will provide, if I’m lucky and you listen. How about learning, maybe, if I’m lucky and you listen.

    I too, am listening and learning every day, constantly feeding an insatiable curiosity. At my age, this includes a bit of attempting to remember the important, unique occurrences that were most notable because of humor, most impactful because of historical importance, most dramatic because of the inexplicable, impossible to predict human interaction, or the unexplainable fact that only fate or God could have steered the outcome. Sharing those stories are of teaching importance.

    Since the end of WWII and principally since the early 1970’s, we have seen the greatest historical period of manufacturing devastation in the history of the United States, an erosion of manufacturing know-how that has left many of our cities in a state of RUST-DECA-OLOPOLIS. 1

    December 7, 1941 ignited a manufacturing engine unlike anything ever seen in the history of mankind. Japan awoke the "Sleeping Giant." 2 The war ended, the USA ruled the land, the sea and the air. A short (approximate) quarter century later the United States ruled space and conquered the moon. During that quarter century, the USA assisted in the rebuilding of Japan and Europe and then inexorably experimented with The Great Society. Juxtaposed with this growth and prosperity was and is the tragic loss of over 50,000 lives in Vietnam, while the world scrutinized the nation’s behavior. If you attended college during the Vietnam War, you deferred graduation as long as possible. The Universities and Colleges were so full that students were sleeping in the multi-purpose rooms in the dormitories. This also led to lengthy journeys to degrees that pushed a whole generation into arts, humanities and sciences, and away from manufacturing. Vocational schools were dwindling due to low attendance and were soon to become a vanishing aspect of our nations education system. Not only was the world watching with a keen eye, but the world’s manufacturing engines were picking up steam. As the United States languished as a nation, we fell into a Complacency Creep.

    In April of 1971 a small ping pong ball 3 had a greater effect on the balance of manufacturing on a global scale than the usage of nuclear weapons to end WWII. The door to China was now open, the exodus was inevitable and there was no turning back. History had again been repeated by awakening another sleeping giant. This giant was not a Republic, it was not a Democracy, it was not a Socialized Democracy, it was a Communist Regime. As you read thorough this book you will touch, taste and feel first-hand, the horrors of a Communist Totalitarian Regime. Regardless of the horrors, the United States as a nation fell deeper into a Complacency Creep Sleep.

    The rush would soon be on, to exchange manufacturing know-how for cheap labor primarily in the Far East. One of our greatest national treasures, knowledge, was being given away. All the while, new machinery, new tooling, new technologies and new education systems supporting the engine of growth were being developed overseas. The collapse of tens of thousands of businesses and the loss of jobs in the millions in the USA was inevitable, their fates were sealed. The oil crisis ensued, inflation was rampant, interest rates to borrow money were ballooning to approximately 20%, the cost of capital had become stratospheric and the unions in America were in survival mode. RUST-DECA-OLOPOLIS 4 was accelerating at an unprecedented rate.

    As you continue to read, you will see how the United States as a nation accelerated and exacerbated this exodus by embracing free trade {term used loosely} legislation embraced by our elected members of Congress during the mid 1990’s with NAFTA. While all this was going on, the dancing fluctuations of currency manipulation by our trading partners was ignored.

    History is replete with failed nation-states. The United States is a country with a national debt now exceeding $20 trillion dollars. One trillion dollars is one thousand billion, one billion is a thousand million and there is no end in sight to our ballooning trade deficits. Nations that are productive and rich will thrive and survive. If you honestly believe that the lack of manufacturing in the USA has nothing to do with our trade deficits, then you know nothing about making paper airplanes.

    Working in a myriad of industrial manufacturing and distribution operations and making and distributing a vast array of products has given me a rare insight as to how things work, or as you are about to find out, how things don’t work. This book is not for the faint of heart and some of the language, by no means condoned, is corrosive {a manufacturing term}. It is part of reality and the color commentaries would not have taken on their very descriptive nature without sharing the language being used. It is somewhat dubbed out only because I would like to think some younger, intrepid youths interested in a little informative manufacturing history might pick this book up and read it!

    A close colleague of mine, a very successful molding manufacturer and producer of molded plastic parts recently shared with me that he and his partner over a two-year period interviewed over 70 people to operate one injection molding machine. The salary was very competitive; benefits were included and training was guaranteed. This would provide the successful candidate not only a job, but a career. Sadly, none of the candidates could read a blueprint. This is not an isolated incident. Approximately 20 years ago, while managing an industrial engineering department I was asked by two employees, both college graduates from esteemed learning institutions with degrees in industrial engineering to decipher a rudimentary blue print that they were unable to interpret. I was stunned. However, I did learn a valuable lesson from this incident, which is that some people cannot see in 3-D. No matter how hard you try to explain a drawing, they are not wired to interpret the image.

    The assessment made by this colleague and his partner after realizing the deficiency in blueprint reading was that we have lost three generations of manufacturing expertise in the USA. Three is maybe a stretch, but two is very realistic. While manufacturing is declining, it is true that tens of thousands of university and elite college educated Americans are working in restaurants, or are underemployed. It’s so reassuring to know that I can still get my hamburger well done, but only on Thursdays.

    This erosion of manufacturing know-how is a national disgrace; it is a catastrophe; it is a national crisis. Manufacturing is near extinction.

    However, all is not lost. There is a glimmer of hope that a manufacturing renaissance may be possible. We, as a nation, can put a stay to the execution of manufacturing and its eventual extinction. This can only be accomplished if we display the determination to start educating our children again in what was classically known as Vocational Studies. Though that phrase is passé, let’s restart the manufacturing engine and teach Engineering Cool. Woodworking, robotics, welding, injection molding, textiles, chemicals, electronics, aerospace, model making and the like all have the combined power to revitalize our economy, and provide well-paying jobs for a disenfranchised middle class.

    We need to rekindle our children’s interest in working with their hands. That means putting down the game controller. Children today need to make models, read the instructions, spill glue on their hands (God forbid now I’m going to be sued for some humor} and learn how something is assembled.

    The book you are about to read is a compilation of short stories, sprinkled with anecdotal words of advice. If you find yourself laughing during one of the excerpts and sad and retrospective during the next, then I was successful in getting your attention and you listened! The first volume in your hands encompasses a time period of approximately 20 years, 1970-1990. Volume two, with God’s blessing, is now being written and will run from 1990 to current day.

    Now put down your cell phone and game controller and fold a paper airplane. It’s fun.

    Manufacturosaurus: Gordisms

    Words of Common Sense — The Top 50

    1. FORD SHOULD HAVE PATENTED THE GARAGE.

    2. HALLWAY MUGGINGS CAN BE PAINFUL.

    3. DECISIONS ARE MADE ON ELEVATORS. GO TO THE TOP FLOOR.

    4. IT IS NOT JIT (JUST IN TIME) IT IS JIP (JUST IN A PRAYER).

    5. IF YOU BELIEVE JAPAN SOLVED ALL THE WORLD’S MANUFACTURING CHALLENGES THEN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WWII.

    6. MURPHY WAS NOT AN OPTIMIST, HE WAS A REALIST.

    7. NEVER, EVER, LAUNCH DURING A BUSINESS’S BUSIEST CYCLE.

    8. IF SOMEONE TELLS YOU THEY UNDERSTAND MANUFACTURING COST ACCOUNTING, STOP. ASK THEM IF THEY HAVE EVER FOLDED A PAPER AIRPLANE.

    9. ERP (ENTERPRISE RESOURCE PLANNING) IS COMMUNISM. IT’S A COLLECTIVE.

    10. IF THERE IS WATER AND OR OIL ON THE FLOOR DON’T KEEP WALKING. STOP AND LOOK UP.

    11. USUALLY SOMEONE IS SITTING IN FRONT OF YOU ON AN AIRPLANE. DON’T SLAM THE TRAY TABLE SHUT.

    12. FORD WAS A GENIUS. HE NEVER DID SEE THE VALUE OF A COST ACCOUNTANT.

    13. IF YOU HIT YOUR THUMB WITH A HAMMER, THE HAMMER WILL FEEL NO PAIN.

    14. YES, MULTIPLE SHADES OF GREY EXIST. VACATION IN A COMMUNIST COUNTRY.

    15. EVERYONE SHOULD DIE AND COME BACK AS AN HR DIRECTOR.

    16. WRITE THINGS DOWN, COMPUTERS CRASH.

    17. LIGHTS OUT MANUFACTURING, MAYBE.

    18. BLACK BELTS AND GREEN BELTS WILL TELL YOU THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT MANUFACTURING. ASK THEM IF THEY KNOW WHAT KNURLING IS?

    19. FESTOONING IS A WORD.

    20. NASA LOST TWO SPACE SHUTTLES, DON’T BELIEVE IN PERFECT.

    21. CEO’S ARE A NECESSARY EVIL; SADLY, TOO OFTEN, MORE EVIL THAN NECESSARY.

    22. IT’S VERY SIMPLE, SHIPPING DOCKS KILL, STAY AWAY.

    23. ROBOTS WILL ALWAYS BE DUMB.

    24. WHEN YOU CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN, GO BACK DOWN ON THE OTHER SIDE.

    25. IF YOU PARK YOURSELF AT A COPIER, YOU’RE A SPY.

    26. WALLS HAVE EARS, MEET AT A NOISY SALOON.

    27. IF YOU’RE GOING TO ROB PETER TO PAY PAUL, MAKE SURE PETER IS WEALTHY.

    28. THE EARTH SPINS ON BEARINGS.

    29. WHAT MOTIVATES PEOPLE TO DO THE THINGS THEY DO?

    30. MAGNETISM WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING.

    31. EVERYONE DOES NOT SEE IN 3-D.

    32. IF IT’S DARK MATTER, THEN WHY ISN’T THE OPPOSITE LIGHT MATTER?

    33. CASH ON HAND = INVENTORY AT OR BELOW 10% OF GROSS SALES.

    34. YOU CAN BE WILDLY SUCCESSFUL, REMEMBER 60/30/10+0.

    35. OUT OF THE BOX THINKERS ARE RARE, DON’T BOX THEM IN.

    36. TAILGATE = CRASHBAIT.

    37. A HALF TRUTH IS A HALF LIE.

    38. A SPRINKLER HEAD IS REALLY NIAGRA FALLS.

    39. CNC = FEEDS & SPEEDS.

    40. THE BIKE GAVE BIRTH TO FLIGHT.

    41. INVENTORY IS A CASH WOLVERINE.

    42. OF COURSE THERE IS INFINITE CAPACITY, THE UNIVERSE IS EXPANDING.

    43. LEAN IS A MANUFACTURING WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.

    44. THERE IS NO KNOWN CURE FOR EXECUTIVE AMNESIA.

    45. THE BLIND SEE WITH THEIR SOUL AND WORK FROM THE HEART.

    46. MASTER SCHEDULERS HAVE THE KEYS TO THE KINGDOM, USE CAUTION MAKING DUPLICATES

    47. TRAIN HOW TO DO SOMETHING CORRECTLY, THEN TRAIN HOW TO DO IT INCORRECTLY.

    48. CHANGE IS CONSTANT; SURVIVE EXTINCTION, ADAPT, EVOLVE.

    49. THE MIGHTY OAK IS UPROOTED IN A GREAT STORM, THE PALM STAYS AND SWAYS.

    50. WHAT DO PEOPLE HATE AT WORK AND LOVE ON BIRTHDAYS? SURPRISES!

    Manufacturosaurus: Extinction Definitions

    RUST-DECA-OLOPOLIS: A state of factory decomposition. Building decay or collapse. Neglect, abandonment. Near extinction. Cover: RUSTY-T-REXUS

    IDIOUS-ALCOHOLIS: Drunkenness, obliteration, generally sloppy behavior, marred perception of reality. Recovering worldwide.

    GOLF-ALOT-ICUS: Thought to be extinct from the Great Scottish Bruce Cataclysm. These intrepid wanderers prefer green grass over forested areas and sand. They usually travel in packs of four, but can be seen in large packs if foraging and beverages are available after a long expedition. Occasionally one can be found violently thrashing around a water pond. This behavior is still questioned by anthropologists; it is theorized the ritual thanks ancient gods for water. It resurfaced in the late Gulf-Dramatics period when wood was thought to be better than iron. Recovery is uncertain.

    SWEAR-ALOT-ODON: A state of language disruption. Origin is unknown; archeologists believe there may be a connection to Noah and the Great Saving Migration.

    FORGE-IRON-OSTEEL: Believed to have surfaced after the great Asterodis-eruptus Period, these Aurummetallum’s are found making camp near volcanoes, chasing lava until it cools and sampling the material looking for mysterious crystalline formations. Archeologists are unable to determine the life span of Aurummetallums due to the lack of bones being discovered in the ash layers.

    IDICIUM-COLECTUS: Generally unique to those performing tedious, tireless, unappreciated document collection. Thought to be extinct due to computer automation it made an unprecedented recovery during the Idicium-isalotis period. Today it is flourishing worldwide.

    DEFALCATION-ABUSTIS: Often found during great periods of financial Trepalium, it is thought to be associated with cunning, devious behavior and trickery. Found to be flourishing in Washington, D.C.

    DESTRUCTOMECHANICUS: These creatures of unknown origin are found to populate near machines of all sizes and capabilities. They feed on malfunction. Scientist are baffled by their insatiable appetite to hover around disruption and failure. Although scientists have tried to develop a vaccine for this disease they have yet to discover a cure. The belief is that their numbers are waning, and as a result it is difficult to ascertain the scope of their density on the planet. Thought to be endangered.

    IGO-GIGANTUMUS: Historians have written evidence of the beginning of this enigma, during the Eguptus-Pharoiticus Period. Thousands of years of documented records have proven the totally illogical degree of survivability of the species. Known for erratic behavior and aggrandizement, they feed on pontification. Scientists have no idea what their numbers are, but it is thought they are surviving in large numbers worldwide.

    CONSILIUM-INGENIUM-REXTIMUS: Thought to have begun with King Solomon, thousands of these creatures have attempted to show dominance over humanity only to fail and be remembered by legend, due to the lack of wisdom they displayed. Rarely, a fine specimen of great distinction will be sorted out through the morass of false teachings and provide mankind knowledge worth remembering.

    MERCATOR-NEGOTIUM: Recent evidence uncovered in a secret undisclosed ancient archeological site near the confluence of the Angry Tiger and Ufreightees Rivers is adding credence to the long dispelled theory that Abel was lost due to being commissioned less. This evidence now points to the danger of the need to follow a path of greed and avarice in search of COMMISSION ELDORADO. These cut throat traders of antiquity called themselves Mercators, as they traveled the seas pillaging unsuspecting customers. Throughout the millennia and through the modern day, the Mercators have advanced their skill sets of deception, as they embrace and practice the GOLF-A LOT-ICUS and IDIOUS-ALCOHOLIS, duping innocent customers into a state of anticipated cargo euphoria. Psychologists are at odds with one another, attempting to explain the motivational relationship of the two practices to purportedly, Prope Quod Multum. Today they circumnavigate the globe counting the hours and minutes as they continue to search for the ever elusive COMMISSION ELDORADO. Beware!

    SNOOKERUM-OCTOSPHEREICUS: Archeologists have struggled to understand the meaning of the discovery of fired clay balls found in and around the location of ancient, presumed to be, gaming parlors; in what is now known as Nevada. Often accompanied with old wooden spears, the relationship of the spear to the spheres is still a mystery. At one site, 15 of the balls had been placed in a perfect triangle formation with one more stray ball found a short distance from the triangle. This has prompted theorists to wonder if it was a triangulation representation of an unknown celestial arrangement or event that occurred in a previous millennium. Astrophysicists are attempting to decipher the arrangement, but alas the code may never be broken.

    IDIOUS-ALCOHOLIS

    GOLF-A LOT-ICUS

    SWEAR-ALOT-ODON

    FORGE-IRON-OSTEEL

    IDICIUM-COLECTUS

    DEFALCATION-ABUSTIS

    DESTRUCTOMECHANICUS

    IGO-GIGANTUMUS

    CONSILIUM-INGENIUM-REXTIMUS

    MERCATOR-NEGOTIUM

    45-1

    "Forecasting will always be wrong,

    why bother..."

    WASHINGTON MOTOR WORKS

    It was cold that night and snowing hard; I remember sitting on the small couch next to the lamp in the living room. The living room was quite magnificent having been built during the Victorian construction era and by this point was well over 100 years old. Even so, the 13 foot ceilings displayed the original light fixtures, still in working order. The lighting was poor in that room and added to the effect of the glow of the fireplace. The home was purportedly built by Tundra Bay lumber baron, John Rogers Morgan and indeed had seven gables. It had changed many times over the decades but was still in remarkable shape and at the time was home to many young men attending college at the University of Tundra Bay – Oshkinbego.

    The fireplace was roaring and many of the fraternity brothers of Delta Felta Thelta were sitting on the floor, indeed each of the members were all there. Huddled in the room and standing in the hallways, the young men were listening to the radio. Clearly a strange atmosphere I will never forget, somewhat festive and yet placid and subdued. Everyone was smiling and trying to look cool and unconcerned, but we all knew the strings of fate were being pulled that night and we would have nothing to say about the outcome. There was a half barrel of beer in the kitchen, good ole Chief Oshkinbego and thank God it was cold; after all this was Tundra Bay. The legal drinking age was 18 and beer drinking was not a past time, it was religion. In Tundra Bay, huskies still pull sleds, ice fishing is considered sport, chain saws are not a movie prop, and hunting and football had become a genetic strain. It was 1969 and the numbers were being drawn with great efficiency. Oh, and yes, a joint or three was passing around the room effortlessly as if it did not exist! Remember, it is December 1, 1969.

    One by one the radio host read the numbers and with each passing digit there was a pause, a breath, a sigh, or complete dismay. My guess is there were at least 50 of us in that room that night, all brothers wondering who would be called first, second, third and so forth. One by one we fell to the rhythm of the sighs, each one bringing on a different excuse. Not my day, what ...tty luck, oh God what am I going to do and why me. We all received a number, because there are 365 birthdays in a year and I was number 59. That was not my age, but my draft number and I was going to war. I was going to Vietnam. The rule of thumb at that time was anyone with a number less than 125 was fair game and probably going to Vietnam. One could certainly enlist in any branch of the military upon graduation or take a physical and roll the dice. The beer was flowing and frankly the rest of the night was pretty much a blur.

    3 years had passed, it was June, midmorning, already warm and I strolled out to the mailbox in front of the fraternity house to retrieve the mail. It was graduation day and everyone was in a pretty festive mood and the drinking of beer had already begun for the graduates. In the mailbox were several letters, 11 to be exact, all addressed to the graduates and all from Uncle Sam. I still wonder today why I happened to go out to the mailbox that particular morning, only to find all the military induction notices for each graduate. 100% perfect, no one was missed and they all arrived on the same day, the day of graduation.

    Graduation was over and it was time to do my military service and I reported to the draft board as ordered. I was not going to go to Canada and felt that the odds of going to Vietnam had diminished due to the overall temperament of the nation. Richard Nixon was now President and had vowed to end the war. Upon arrival at the draft board, we were summarily told to strip down to our undershorts were marshaled around from room to room to room. Finally, we were all lined up buck naked and asked a few questions. Do any of you have a heart murmur? If so stand over here. Do any of you have flat feet? If so, stand over here. Do any of you have a history of asthma? Stand over here. Eureka, that’s me! I had had asthma my whole life and so I walked over to the very small asthma line. Into the cubical I marched where I was asked a series of questions about my asthma and given a form to be filled out by my doctor. Have your doctor fill this out and return here in 2 weeks. OK done.

    Two weeks later I returned, forms were flying from here to there and back again and finally I received a little piece of paper that said 4F. What the hell does that mean sir?

    You’re not going to war, you’re disqualified.

    You are a free man.

    My God, I was stunned, shocked, and delirious with joy and yet I could not get my arms around the reality that I was not going into the army.

    BACK TO SCHOOL

    The job market was woefully depressed and I had always wanted to get a Masters Degree in History, so with the blessing of my parents, I went back to school. With one year under my belt, I was on my way to becoming a history professor with a minor in anthropology. Certainly, I would find a job in the next century with those credentials.

    Realization was slowly setting in that after achieving my Masters, there did not appear to be much hope of landing a teaching position anywhere. The strings of fate were however busy weaving a web of circumstances that would forever change my career path and launch me into the world of manufacturing.

    My fiancé’s brother, Terry had graduated from the same university and had gone back to his home town of Nekatosha, Tundra Bay seeking employment. Nekatosha is a very small, beautiful town on the banks of Lake Glacier and at the time was home to Washington Motor Works {WMW}. Having grown up in Nekatosha he had many local friends, some of whom worked at Washington Motor Works in the industrial engineering department. He had made the necessary connections and became an industrial engineer (I.E.).

    It was late in the afternoon and I was at the fraternity house when Terry called and asked how school was proceeding and had I received any job offers. My quick response was, of course, dozens. He explained to me that he had become an Industrial Engineer at WMW and they were desperate for more I.E.’s. A half million men were in Vietnam and they were having a very hard time recruiting engineers. Somehow my left brain was having difficulty with these equations. He was a political science football jock and I was a history professor wannabe. Industrial engineering, it seemed was a long way off.

    He went on to say, That doesn’t matter, get down here for an interview and I am sure I can get you in; you’re smart and you have always had an interest in anything and everything mechanical. That part of the story was true. I had always had an insatiable appetite for things that went whirl, buzz, whack and chuff. Frankly, I honestly felt I had a reasonably high engineering aptitude because of my additional love of architecture and mechanical drawing; which I excelled at in High School.

    THE INTERVIEW

    My suit was pressed and I felt oddly out of place, however the collective noises and odors permeating from the street where I parked my car were somewhat familiar to me due to my father’s career as a metallurgist and electrical engineer. On several occasions, my father had taken me to large, dark, expansive factories where steel was being made and men smelled like…well...steel and oil.

    Into the office I walked with confidence, looking at the row after row of intimidating desks with Burroughs’s Electromechanical Adding Machines ca-thunking and whirling along with mountains of papers stacked everywhere. Terry greeted me with a big smile and said, "you will be meeting with the Chief I.E., Mean Takemtodamat (IGO-GIGANTUMUS 5) and he will ask you a few questions about your background. It’s great that you have a college degree, but sell him on your God given engineering aptitude and the job will be yours. I shook hands with Terry and thanked him before I made my way to Mr. Takemtodamat’s office. After the normal standard greeting, the interrogation began as he attempted to intimidate the wannabe history professor in his office, but I had met many pieces of work" early on in my life and knew better to let it slide. He showed me a blueprint of an automotive subassembly and I deciphered it faster than he could ask more questions. It was a good experience, and my first real interview, and it ended well. I was employed.

    In 1973, $11,200.00 was an unheard of amount of money and I was an I.E. Damn, I felt good! I had 2 weeks to quit school, find a place to sleep and get to work by 7:00AM; done.

    INDUSTRIAL ENGINEER

    Hi, my name is Estevan Indoles, please call me Estie, I am a Senior I.E. and you are going to shadow me for the next 2 weeks as we take the old Lake View Plant out of mothballs and you are going to be responsible for the Trim Line. I responded as politely as I could with, Sounds good, um what the hell is the trim line?

    Estie reassured me, Don’t worry you will see, it will all come together for you quickly. Frankly, this is going to be tough, we are going to be making cars here soon, and you can’t screw up.

    Damn this is fun, glad I’m here. What would Thomas Jefferson have done with that preamble?

    So, off we went through the bowels of the old Lake View facility. The Lake View facility was considered the playground, the party site, and everyone wanted to be there. It was located on the doorstep of Lake Glacier with the back doors of the factory opening to a very narrow sidewalk that kissed the lake.

    The building was old, very old, and had wooden columns you could not wrap your arms around, holding up the six stories of the structure. To add to the ambiance, the lighting was poor and spiders had built condominiums everywhere. Originally built by the Soft Mattress Company, the building had a very cool, old office center facing the street and the sprawling factory was situated behind the front office area. The cars were to be assembled on one floor then travel from floor to floor by conveyor through openings in the floor you could drive a bus through. The whole contraption was kind of cool and the floors were all solid oak and easy to walk on as they creaked and moaned with the loads being put on them by the materials and machinery.

    So, the tour began, floor after floor, column after column, all the while looking out the windows of the plant to read my bearings on what direction were we heading. As long as I knew where the lake was, I could find my way back to the front doors for sure. The lake was east, that’s all I needed to know. Up and down we went, floor after floor following the old conveyor line from white metal and spot welding to paint and then pre-trim and final trim where everything magically came together; sort of. The undercarriage was assembled in another plant on

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