Absurd-but-True Animal Stories

By Kyla Colby

Who is more absurd?: Animals, or the humans who try to make sense of them?

This collection features more than 15 cute, newsy and fun animal stories!

"Hysterical! Thanks for making me LOL!" — Karen P.

"Amazing…what a gem!" — Anna T.

"This was beautiful! A perfect blend of serious life-reflection and happy, animal stories and pics. Love it!!" — Casey N.

Snag a copy of "Absurd-but-True Animal Stories," to read these stories:
 

• Can a gorilla be too handsome?


• The birds and the bees, as taught to pandas


• Manbearpigs gone wild


• Your dog is time-traveling without you


• Charlie and the Elephant Nature Factory


• Cock-a-doodle-don't


• Bower Eye for the Bird Guy


• And many more!

These stories are collected from Animailya, an email newsletter that ran from 2015 to 2017. Animailya was once featured as the Forward of the Week by TinyLetter.
 

Scroll up and click "buy now" to get your paws on this collection of silly animal stories!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cinnamon Cozies
• Release date: Dec 6, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386858775

Book preview

Introduction

The Victorian novelist George Eliot once said, Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.

It’s only when humans barge in on the scene, as they so often do, steamrolling rain forests, smuggling exotic species across borders, and firing crossing guard poodles, that things get messy.

I see stories like the one about the fired crossing guard dog, and think, Wait, what?? The animals may remain silent, Eliot points out, but I’ve got a lot of questions, and even more criticisms.

This befuddlement was how I began Animailya, an animals-focused email newsletter, in mid-2015. I had no stake in these stories, no vegan principles or anti-zoo agenda to espouse. My only aim was to illuminate the absurd, hopefully in an entertaining way, for my fellow humans.

We have a complicated relationship with animals, after all. We find gorillas too handsome or wring our hands when a rhino can’t get any Tinder dates. We wag our fingers at our four-legged friends who should have known better when they cannibalize a stuffed animal museum or steal our newspapers.

We also sometimes act more kindly toward our animal neighbors, like when women revolutionized birding by studying birds through watching them, not killing them, or when dog owners try to understand better how their pooches might perceive the world.

There will always be more animal stories, but for now, I’m retiring from the 24-hour animal news cycle. Animailya’s going out to pasture. I’ve collected here more than a dozen of favorite Animailya stories from more than two years of commenting on the bizarre, the intriguing, and the occasionally inspirational.

Looking back, I thank the readers who came on this journey with me when I wrote editions from Chicago, Southeast Asia, and even on a plane somewhere over the American Southwest. The animals I met and read about abroad made it into this little book, too.

As a child, I dreamed I’d grow up to be a veterinarian. But I think I ended up doing much more selfless, important, and difficult work with animals: describing to you, in detail, just how confused pandas are about sex.

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Thanks for reading.

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Kyla

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Animals in Love

1 | Please, Someone, Swipe Right on Harapan

2 | Bower Eye for the Bird Guy

3 | Is This Gorilla Too Handsome?

4 | I Didn’t Know I Was Not Pregnant, Panda Edition

5 | The Birds and the Bees, as Taught to Pandas

1

Please, Someone, Swipe Right on Harapan

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