They Say I've Had a Stroke

By Elleigh Lee

While on a business trip 2,500 miles from home, former business executive Edward Lee woke up in his hotel room dizzy and with blurred vision. As the day progressed so did the effects of the stroke that would render him with numerous deficits and totally paralyzed on his right side. Embracing their situation, Elleigh Lee tells her husband's stroke survival and rehabilitation story.

Although the hospital incorrectly labeled the Lees as indigent and initially denied their admission to the rehabilitation unit; the author describes their life in the ER, ICU, IMCU, and the hospital's stroke rehabilitation unit. With a diminished mind and body, they celebrated Edward's accomplishments as he re-learned how to roll over, sit, stand, bathe, dress, and eventually walk with a cane. Returning home after a lengthy rehabilitation, they faced a new world that excluded many of the things that they formerly took for granted. 

The author discusses the realities of obtaining quality care in today's litigious and money sensitive healthcare environment. They met many amazing healthcare professionals during Edward's hospitalization and rehabilitation. They also met a couple of hospital employees who disregarded their patient's health and dignity and in turn put the patient and hospital at risk. Now years later and standing side by side, their story is one of a stubborn caregiver and a stroke survivor who both refuse to give up.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hidden Haven
• Release date: Nov 19, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386804871

Book preview

They Say I’ve Had a Stroke

A Stroke Survivor’s Journey

Copyright © 2018 Elleigh Lee

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 9781731436030

The information provided in this book is designed to provide helpful general information on the subjects discussed. All names, locations, and identifying characteristics of individuals, organizations, business, and other entities have been changed to protect the privacy of those depicted. The work reflects a stroke survivor’s recollection of events.

This book is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians, nor should it be used, to diagnose or treat any medical condition. The reader should regularly consult their physician in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. The publisher and author are not responsible for any health, therapy, advise, or prescription drug needs that may require medical or professional supervision and are not liable for any direct, indirect, consequential, or incidental damages or any damages whatsoever or negative consequences from any treatments, action, application or preparation, to any person reading or following the information in this book.

The author reserves the right to make additions, deletions, or modifications to the contents of the book at any time without prior notice. The author assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions. References are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute endorsements of any websites or other sources. Readers should be aware that the websites listed in this book might change. This book is published in a variety of formats. Some content that appears in one format may not be available in all formats.

All rights reserved. This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by United States of America copyright law. For permission requests, contact the author on Facebook.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my spouse who as an introverted and shy 17-year-old gathered up his courage and went on a blind date with me. This date was our first Valentine’s dance. With his two left feet and the simple hope of not bruising my perfectly polished red toenails…we began the relationship where this young lady would eventually find love…not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person, perfectly.

I am continually blessed by his love, patience, sense of humor, and willingness to cook breakfast. I hope our first date never ends! 

In addition, it is dedicated to the many healthcare professionals who thanklessly helped my husband survive his stroke and begin his recovery.

Finally to my children for being brave and holding down the fort while their parents were away for six weeks and heard as truth, what their parents believed for, and not what they saw.

PREFACE

SEVERAL YEARS AGO my husband suffered a stroke, also known as a cerebrovascular accident (CVA). I immediately became his vocal advocate as we faced an uncertain future. In the process, I learned more about strokes than anyone would ever dream of knowing. The National Stroke Association estimates that nearly 800,000 people suffer a stroke each year. Someone experiences stroke ever 40 seconds with someone dying from a stroke every four minutes, the CDC says stroke is the fifth leading cause of death in the United States¹. Luckily, my husband’s stroke was not fatal, however, it did severely alter our lives.

I nearly had a stroke, You almost gave me a stroke, I’m going to have a stroke and die, and, I think I’m having a stroke are short quips I’ve heard people declare for years. In many movies and television shows, characters suffering a stroke is an easy and almost flippant way for the writers to use to end a characters life. If the screenwriter wants to avoid the use of violence to terminate a main character, almost like clockwork they either have them run away from the fictional reality they are facing or they suffer a stroke. Of course, it could be that I’m more sensitive now. My ears twitch at the word stroke. Before you bought your last car, it seemed unique but afterwards, you slowly began seeing them everywhere. Maybe that is what has happened to me.

If you are reading this book, I can only assume that you or a loved one survived a stroke too. This book was written with you in mind! It took me five years to live, document, and write the book you now hold in your hands. Since my husband is our home’s resident expert on how the stroke affected him personally, many of the chapters you will read are my interpretation of his thoughts and ideas. Those chapters are written as though he wrote them. My hope is that this book will lead to a greater understanding of what the future can hold and that the light of understanding can disperse the fear brought on by a stroke for both survivors and their loved ones.

This book recounts the events leading up to my husband’s stroke and our stay in the hospital working with doctors, insurance companies, therapists, social workers, insurance companies, administrators, nurses, insurance companies, medical device companies, and lastly insurance companies. Following his discharge from the hospital’s rehabilitation unit, we began the long road to where we are today. Along the way we've dealt with disappointment, success, sadness, abandonment, Social Security Disability, worry, laughter, Long Term Disability Insurance, joy, rejection, and more insurance companies and lawyers than George Washington would have ever have imagined. I have tried to recreate events, locales, and conversations from our direct memories of them. In order to maintain their anonymity in all instances, I have changed the names of individuals and places. I have also changed identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations, and places.

I hope that this book will help you relate to stroke victims whether they are family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, or just strangers. My husband says, Having a stroke isn’t for sissies. At the end of this book, if not now, I think you’ll agree.

Many blessings,

Elleigh

CHAPTER ONE

Life Before the Stroke

BEFORE THE STROKE. After the stroke. That’s how we define events now.

Before the stroke, we were planning a trip to Italy and were weeks away from our 30th wedding anniversary. Our children were grown and both were busy working towards their own goals. We both enjoyed spending time at our home and escaping to the mountains to spend time with family or just the two of us visiting a new vineyard or waterfall. My career was riding the wave of all the hours, efforts, and hard work I had put in over the years.

Before the stroke, we were both very physically active. I occasionally worked from my home office. On mornings when it wasn’t raining, I hiked the mountain trails near our home. During these morning hikes, I would call the professionals who worked on my team to catch up and offer my support. Halfway through the hike, I would stand on an outcropping of granite where I would breathe deep and marvel at the long distance views of God’s creation. When busy schedules got in the way, Elleigh and I walked the hilly streets of our subdivision at the end of the workday. Late in the evening you could occasionally find us at the neighborhood pool or lounging on our deck enjoying its forested views.

Before the stroke, we loved to go on weekend mountain drives searching for the vineyards now bustling in North Georgia. For relaxation, I enjoyed woodworking, golf, reviving antique Chevrolets, shooting skeet or targets, and escaping with Elleigh to our cabin in the North Georgia Mountains. Cutting up dead trees and chopping firewood for our cabin was enjoyable to me. Cooking whole hogs over a pit at the cabin so we could share a fall meal with friends was our way of blessing those that we held so dear. At the cabin, we were able to enjoy nature while marveling at the long distance mountain views and the gazillion stars that appeared in the sky on dark nights. Retreating to our cabin while getting away from it all was how we relaxed and unwound.

Before the stroke, Elleigh and I loved to entertain and welcomed opportunities with friends and family where everyone could just relax, forget about their troubles, and simply enjoy spending time together. Ensuring that our family and friends knew that they were important to us was always one of our primary goals. We both loved playing board games and spent many hours at our breakfast table playing the latest game while thinking of strategies to win against my very competitive daughter. Do you want a lesson? is how I would typically initiate a game with her. She’d laugh and respond, No but I’m giving lessons if you want one. We would grab the game and a drink and settle down at the table for a night of lessons.

Before the stroke, I had a small family consisting of two brothers. I am the middle child. Growing up with an older and younger brother was a challenge but I found my middle child calling as the peacemaker of the family. Learning from their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins was always the way I wanted my children to learn how I became the person I am. As I write this in fact, my daughter has driven over 100 miles to spend her vacation with my older brothers family and her grandparents.

Elleigh and I started dating when I was 17 and she was 15. We dated through high school and college. I attended a public high school and Elleigh attended a private school. Her mother worked in my high school for the county’s Board of Education and introduced Elleigh and me for a blind date. It took me seven years to make a good impression and to persuade Elleigh to marry me. We were married shortly after she graduated with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Nursing. During these years, I was going to business school during the day while working a part-time job in the early morning and another part-time job at night. My weekday schedule consisted of me rising at 3:30 am to go to my morning part-time job. At 9:00 am, I would attend my classes and study until 3:00 pm. I would rush home for a quick nap before heading to my other part-time job at 5:00 pm. There I would work until 11:00 pm and then head home to sleep, until my 3:30 am alarm started the next day.

Although Elleigh finished her nursing degree, I dropped out of college with only one class remaining for graduation. I was promoted to a full-time position at a fortune ranked company and Elleigh took a position in the local hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit, NICU. Eleven years after I started college I returned and took the seven classes now required to graduate. Who knew that the advent of the personal computer would require business and accounting majors to be fluent the binary language of Apple and IBM’s new creation. From start to finish, my classes took place in two states, four different universities, and spanned 12 years. That’s a long time for a four-year degree but tenaciousness would later prove to be a vital quality.

Before the stroke, I had created a spreadsheet with hundreds of thousands of numbers and calculations that justified my company’s capital purchase of millions of dollars of assets, services, and contract labor. Taped end to end and top to bottom on legal paper the final printed report measured 5’ tall and 18’ long and consisted of over 175 pages of printed cells. To say that I had a firm grasp of spreadsheets and mathematical calculations was an understatement. One of my company’s executive vice presidents was so proud of it that he referred to it as, The spreadsheet. He would routinely ask his colleagues, Have you seen the spreadsheet?

Through several promotions, employers, and navigating what we thought was the corporate ladder we found ourselves moving several times and ultimately landing within a few hours drive of where we both grew up. I was an executive at my company and planned to work there until retirement. I managed my company’s relationship with hardware and software manufactures, helped develop and oversaw the direction of the company, and drove over 1,200 miles each month working directly with my group of engineers. I had recently received a very complementary note from the president of my company:

Edward, I truly appreciate all that you do! That one sentence says how I feel but it is so inadequate! Your mature [not old :-)] leadership as part of the team is paramount. This last year has been more than challenging, but you are succeeding at making this a better place. I sincerely cannot do this without you being part of the team!! Words don’t do it justice, but THANK YOU.

Working for this company afforded Elleigh and me many benefits including working from my home office and travel. Working from home allowed me to avoid the office politics and to skip the commuting traffic while spending that time with my family. Travel allowed us to see many cities in the U.S., Canada, and the Caribbean. Ultimately, my position called for a trip to San Francisco to meet with the lead executive of a global hardware manufacturer. This trip, however, would change my life.

CHAPTER TWO

The Day of the Stroke

FOUR YEARS AGO, I started an unexpected multi-leg and multi-week business trip. I was to travel to San Francisco, back home, to Dallas, and then back home again. On these extended trips, I normally purchased Elleigh a plane ticket so she could see the cities while I sat in meetings or conferences. At night, we would explore the sites and visit new restaurants. For this trip, she had already made plans for us to visit with her parents and a long time girlfriend.

We decided that she would visit family and her friend and I would travel to California.