Tragic Coolness

By Giselle Renarde

When a handsome stranger arrives at the family orchard, Tatyana’s world is turned upside-down. It’s been ages since she’s felt an attraction like this. And yet, when she confesses her love, the enigmatic Eugene Onegin rips her heart to shreds. Years later, when they meet again, will Eugene surrender to his long-buried emotions? Or will a tragic coolness be his downfall?

A Modern Adaptation of the Verse Novel “Eugene Onegin” by Alexander Pushkin.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Giselle Renarde
• Release date: Oct 17, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463109786

Giselle Renarde

Giselle Renarde is a queer Canadian, avid volunteer, and contributor to more than 100 short story anthologies, including Best Women's Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Bondage Erotica, and Best Lesbian Romance. Ms Renarde has written dozens of juicy books, including Anonymous, Ondine, and Nanny State. Her book The Red Satin Collection won Best Transgender Romance in the 2012 Rainbow Awards. Giselle lives across from a park with two bilingual cats who sleep on her head.

Book preview

Tragic Coolness

A Modern Adaptation of the Verse Novel Eugene Onegin by Alexander Pushkin

By Giselle Renarde

Scene 1

WISTFULLY, LARINA SAID, Don’t you just love apple season?

I like it as long as you don’t send me out in the orchard, Althea replied.  Those people out there, they’re crazy!

They’re not crazy, Larina said—a gentle admonishment.

The kids are! City kids act like they never seen an apple before!

I’m sure they’ve seen apples, Althea.

In a supermarket, yeah. They don’t even know an apple grows on a tree.  They think they’re gonna kill it when they pick.

A conversation they’d had too many times to count.  A conversation they would surely have again, like so many annual traditions.

Autumn once more, when children from the city roamed the orchard with their doting parents.  Autumn, when fairy-like laughter wafted through the kitchen window.  Autumn, when Larina made her famous applesauce to sell at the market stall.  Not even the fine young blossoms of spring could best the feeling of cozy domesticity that filled Larina’s heart each fall.  Not even the strawberries of summer could fill her with a greater sense of joy.

I love the little ones, Larina said. I love the way their eyes light up when they go into the orchard with their parents and their grandparents.  I love how the families take pictures together and run around tasting different varieties.

Noisy brats.

Larina smiled warmly as Althea rolled out pastry dough at the table.  If that woman ever stopped making her famous apple pies, the customers would surely revolt.  Althea’s pies brought in more revenue at the market stall than Larina’s sauces and preserves combined, but Larina couldn’t imagine not doing this: standing over a pot so large it would require the two of them to lift, taking in the subtle scent of cinnamon as the apples bubbled away.

There’s nothing so wonderful as watching a child discover something new.  With a sigh, Larina said, I missed all that with the girls.  It was you who spent those good years raising them.

Yeah, you wonder why I’m sick of kids now.

Larina chuckled gently.  You are not sick of kids.

Sure I am.

You’re not sick of your grandson.  You talk to him on that fancy phone of yours forty times a day.

Twice a day, and that’s different.  He’s family.

And my daughters? Larina asked.

Althea set down the rolling pin and brushed her hands down the front of her apron.  The girls are family too.  And you—all three of you.  You’re my Canada family.  My daughter, her son—that’s my Philippines family.

Larina left the wooden spoon in the pot and marched straight across the kitchen.  She didn’t often show affection like this, but she reached around Althea’s shoulder and pressed her temple to the side of their nanny’s head.  You’re family to us, too.

Althea surrendered to the embrace only briefly before plucking her rolling pin from the table. Okay, okay, enough if this touchy-feely crap.  Back to work, boss.

Larina’s heart filled with fondness for the woman, and that emotion only increased when a familiar tune bled through the ceiling, from Oka’s room upstairs. 

Placing her hand on her heart, Larina said, "Althea! Do you hear that? I’m Your Man!"

Not you too!  I got men coming out of my ears.

Very funny.  No, I’m talking about the song. You know Leonard Cohen?

Althea cocked her head.  He’s a singer?

"Yes, singer/songwriter.  You don’t know his music? Suzanne takes me down to a place by the river...?"

Althea stared blankly across the kitchen.

Oh, I loved him, Althea! I loved him, back in the day.

What day?  Plucking her phone from the pocket of her apron, Althea ran a quick search.  Internet says this guy was popular in the sixties.

He was popular after that too, Althea.  How old do you think I am?

Althea shrugged.

I discovered Leonard Cohen’s music in my early twenties, Larina went on.  Just before I married Ed.

God rest his soul.

Yes, well... yes.  He took me down—

To a place by the river?

Larina rolled her eyes—a trick she’d learned from the girls.  No, he took me downtown, into the city, to see Leonard Cohen.

You were young then, eh?

Yes, well, not as young as I could have been.  My cousin Nina lived in the city. She invited me to stay with her for a couple days, explore the nightlife, get away from my folks and this godforsaken house in the middle of nowhere.  My parents didn’t want me to go. They thought I’d get hooked on drugs—you what parents are like.

Hey, that’s the same reason you didn’t want Oka going into the city when Tats went to University.  You thought they’d both end up on drugs.

No I didn’t, Larina replied, feeling flustered to be compared with her own parents.  Not Tatyana.  She’s too level-headed.  But Oka... Oka’s so perky, such a people-pleaser.  She’d be the first to give in to peer pressure.  Plus, she was still in high school, and the girls had never been without your supervision.

Setting her pie dough into a series of pans, Althea said, The girls turned out fine.  You worry too much.

Yes, but the idea of my two teenage girls moving out on their own, living in some dreary apartment in the city with no parental guidance... I’m still not sure that was the best decision.

They came back home.

Well... that’s precisely my point.

Upstairs, Larina’s daughters laughed and sang along with So Long, Marianne.  This caused Althea to stare straight up at the ceiling.  Nutty girls.

Sounds like they’ve gotten into my old vinyl collection.

From when you were young.

I’m not as old as you make me out to be, Larina clucked.  Anyway, who’d have thought my kids would be into the things I liked when I was their age—when I was younger than them?  I was going to throw out that old record player.  Good thing I held onto it.

Good thing, yeah.

Larina gave the pot a stir, lost in thought as the girls sang backup to Leonard Cohen upstairs.

I didn’t love him, you know.

Althea asked, Who?

Ed.

Your husband?

Do you know another Ed I should have loved? Larina snapped.

Althea grumbled something or other as she filled her pie shells with sliced apples and cinnamon sugar.  After a while, she asked, So why’d you marry him, if you didn’t love him?

Larina sighed.  He was a friend of the family.  He was older than me, more like a brother, I guess you’d say.  That was the only way my parents would let me visit my cousin in the city: I had to bring Ed along as chaperone. But I was seeing someone else at the time—an aspiring singer-songwriter, Richard.

Not Leonard Cohen?

Pfft. He wished he was Leonard Cohen.  Larina stirred the pot, breathed in the apple-cinnamon fumes, remembered her youth.  I believed in Richard. I thought he’d go all the way—oh, not like that.  But also like that.  We were hot and heavy, when we got a moment to ourselves.  I couldn’t resist him.  He was like a magician—he could melt me down to nothing but a pool of lust.

Did the magician come with you to the city?

Sure did.

And did Ed start a fight with him to protect your honour?

Hardly, Larina said with a laugh.  Ed was too even-tempered for all that.  I didn’t really know what to make of him.  Why would he have come along if he didn’t have a thing for me?  But if he was in love with me, why wouldn’t he have stood between me and Richard?

Applesauce was nearly there.  Time to get the sterilized mason jars hot out of the dishwasher.  Set them out on the counter, ready to be filled.

So why didn’t you marry Richard the Magician? Althea asked.

Richard the Magician made a play for my cousin.

Ouch.

And you know how I found out?

How?

Went to his place and found Nina there.

Ohhh.  That’s no good.

Yeah, she wasn’t any wearing pants.

"That’s very no good."

You know the worst part?  Larina glanced toward the stairs to make sure the girls were out of earshot.  I’d gone over that day to tell him I was pregnant.

Althea’s jaw dropped.  No!

Larina pursed her lips and nodded.

You wanted to trap him? Althea asked.

Trap him?

Into marrying you!

No, Larina cried.  No!  She quieted her voice before saying, No, I really was pregnant.

No!

Yes.

You have another baby?  Or you...

"No, no.  I had the baby. I have the baby.  Larina pointed to the ceiling with the saucy end of her wooden spoon.  The baby’s upstairs listening to my Leonard Cohen records."

Tatyana?

Larina nodded slowly.

Ed wasn’t really her father?  Althea grabbed a tea towel and smacked Larina’s thigh.  You never told me that!  Tatyana never told, either.  I never thought we had secrets in this house.  All these years, she never told me!

Larina reached around the hefty pot to turn off the heat.  Applesauce was ready.  But that was a convenient excuse not to look Althea in the eye.

Larina! she hissed, sidling up to the counter.  Tatyana doesn’t know.  She doesn’t know, does she?

Larina shook her head.  We never felt the need to tell her.

We who?

Me, Ed.

Ed knew the whole time his daughter wasn’t his?

Oka’s his.

But Tats isn’t!

Larina sighed.  Maybe she shouldn’t have mentioned any of this.  Applesauce is ready.  Help me move it to the counter.

Without a word, Althea helped lift the vat, carrying it with great effort.  They had to concentrate, the two of them, if they didn’t want applesauce slopping over the sides.  Althea found the funnel while Larina brought out the step stool—that was the only way she could ladle sauce from such a large pot and really see what she was doing.

For