In the Autumn Rain

By Verity Norton

In the Autumn Rain: Book #4 in the McCullough Romance series.

Alex McCullough Jameson knows he messed up . . . again. He is back in San Francisco in his condo, trying to care about his law practice. But all he can think about is Canden Valley and the girl-next-door, the rough and tumble stallion-taming cowgirl he left behind.

Cassie Callahan is furious--not only at Alex Jameson because he had the nerve to visit his family and stir up old feelings, but at herself because after all these years, despite all her efforts to get over him, she is still in love with him.

Once Alex admits who he wants in his life, he returns to Canden Valley to go after her. But Cassie has other ideas. She might be enjoying her time with the man she never stopped loving, but there is no way she is going to give him her heart again.

Trying to win back the girl he left behind is like trying to tame the most spirited stallion in the countryside. Not only is Alex trying to regain her love, but he's trying to win her forgiveness for his past failures and choices. But the greater challenge, he realizes, isn't winning Cassie's forgiveness, but rather his own. Only when those two things happen will the childhood sweethearts be able to build a future together.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Felicity Nisbet
• Release date: Oct 18, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463453858

Verity Norton

Verity Norton is a native Californian, but when she moved to an island in the Pacific Northwest she fell in love with rainy days and the island lifestyle of reading and writing by candlelight and depending on a woodstove during power outages. She also writes children’s books, young adult, contemporary fiction, and mysteries under the name Felicity Nisbet. [e-mail]

Book preview

IN THE AUTUMN RAIN

Book #4 in the McCullough Romance Series

by Verity Norton

©2014-2018 by Felicity Nisbet

Cover by Mary Sue Roberts

First edition published 2014 by The Fiction Works

Second edition published 2018 by Felicity Nisbet

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without written permission, except for brief quotations to books and critical reviews. This story is a work of fiction. Characters and events are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

THE MCCULLOUGHS

Grandparents: Evan and Eleanor McCullough

Their children:

Patrick

Nan

Nigel

Emily

The McCullough Families and Cousins:

Nan McCullough Jameson,

married to Grant Jameson

Their children:

Alex McCullough Jameson

Anne McCullough Jameson

Allie McCullough Jameson

Aidan McCullough Jameson

Nigel McCullough,

married to Ivy McCullough

Their children:

Sean McCullough, engaged to Sophie Weldon

Skye McCullough, engaged to Nick Callen

Sloan McCullough

Patrick McCullough,

married to Lana McCullough

Their children:

Matt McCullough, engaged to Arielle Bradford

Megan McCullough

Morgan McCullough

Mairi McCullough

Emily McCullough,

married to Palmer Burnett

Their children:

Kelly McCullough Burnett

Kieran McCullough Burnett

Kayleigh McCullough Burnett

Chapter 1

Cassie Callahan stared out at the meadow that sat between the Callahan Ranch and the McCullough-Jameson Ranch. What was she doing here?

This is your fault, Ginger. It was easier to blame the horse than herself.

No way would I have told you to take this trail. No way would she have come to this meadow, the meadow where she and Alex McCullough Jameson had made love for the first time.

The old chestnut mare whinnied as if in disagreement, and Cassie climbed out of the saddle and left the reins to dangle. It was a gorgeous autumn day. Of course Ginger would bring her to a beautiful spot.

She nuzzled her face against the horse’s muzzle, suddenly aware that her eyes were damp. Damn. She didn’t cry. Hardly ever. Why now? She took in a deep breath and released it slowly as she stepped away from the mare and crouched down to sit in the moist grass. A moment later, the tears weren’t just threatening. They were flowing.

Damn it! She still loved the bastard. After all this time, she still loved him. Would that ever change? Or would she always be haunted by memories they had shared? Would she always compare every man she met to him? At least to the man he used to be? She still compared him to the man he used to be.

But he wasn’t that man. He had gone off to the big city and lost himself. He had returned a different person. Empty, callous, consumed with success and work. And in deep pain, at least according to Arielle, her new shrink friend. Arielle knew Alex well enough to know the truth. He had buried himself in his work and become a successaholic for one reason—to escape the pain and the guilt.

He wasn’t alone. She too had her pain and guilt to deal with. It was her brother who had died that day nearly nine years ago. Nine years. Half a lifetime. Half of her brother’s lifetime. She still felt the guilt for not being able to save him. But she had stopped running from it. Because she had to. Someone had to. Someone had to deal with the fall-out. Someone had to stay and comfort her grief-stricken parents.

Her older sister Charlotte certainly wasn’t there for them. She’d even walked out on her two children and her husband, Matt, Alex’s best friend and cousin. As far as she could see, Charlotte had used their brother’s death as an excuse to leave her family and her marriage and run off to seek an acting career in New York. But she had come home. After more than eight years away, she had returned to Canden Valley and her family. Only, in her absence things had changed. A lot had changed. Her children were now eleven and nine and wanted nothing to do with her. And much to Charlotte’s chagrin, Matt had fallen in love with Arielle and asked her to marry him. The world did not stand still, not even for Charlotte Callahan.

Cassie heard the bitterness in her thoughts. She pushed herself up from the damp grass and started walking in the direction of the pond that sat on both properties. She loved Charlotte. But she knew her. She knew her well.

Cassie sighed as she bent down to pick up a stone and toss it into the pond. It made a splash and gurgling sound as it sank to the bottom. She smiled as she wondered how many stones she and Alex had tossed into this very pond, their pond. Even when they were older and could barely keep their hands off of each other, it usually ended in a competition. How far could they throw it? How many times could they make it skip? Alex had loved that about her, her competitive nature. And she had loved it about him. But then what hadn’t she loved about him? Other than his leaving Canden Valley and her.

She followed the path through the meadow to where she’d left her horse. She climbed into the saddle and guided Ginger back toward home. In the future she’d have to do a better job of communicating to her horses which trails to take and which to avoid.

* * *

Alex McCullough Jameson pushed aside the papers on his desk. He couldn’t concentrate. What was new? He was stuck in a time-warp. It progressed from when he was eight years old to four months ago. And anywhere in between. The only thing it didn’t do was bring him into the present.

Except when he was in court. Thank God his alter-ego attorney self rose to the occasion and focused on his argument in court. But other than that, he was pretty much stuck in the past. Right now it was the four-months-ago past.

She’d called him a chicken-assed bastard. He had agreed. She was, after all, right.

But still, did she have to say it? Of course she did. If nothing else, she was candid. She was plenty of other things too. Tough. Strong. Independent. Competitive. Beautiful. And always honest.

He smiled as he remembered standing there looking down at her under the vintage oak tree in front of her family home on the Callahan ranch. She’d looked up at him, her emerald green eyes piercing through his with nothing short of fury. But instead of feeling intimidated, he had found oddly comforting the familiarity of standing face to face with a fuming Cassie Callahan.

Despite being six inches shorter and two years younger than he was, she had stared him down many times in their childhood. Usually it had to do with a disagreement over who had won the horse race or the stone skipping contest or who had whipped whose ass at checkers without cheating. The truth was, more often than not, she was the winner. There were times his male pride would not allow him to admit it. Other times, he was so damned impressed by her, he felt as if he’d been the one to win.

But that summer day four months ago as they stood under the oak tree, it hadn’t been about a game. It hadn’t been a contest she’d been referring to. It had been their lives. He had failed her all those years ago. He had fallen off the pedestal. He was no longer her hero. He had failed to save her brother’s life. And in the end, he had walked away and left her. It had been the biggest mistake of his life. And nearly nine years later, he was still paying the price.

Chapter 2

You’re not going to this wedding. Cassie’s back stiffened as the words tumbled out of her mouth. It felt good to stand up to her older sister for a change. She wished she had started doing it years ago, eight and a half to be exact.

Charlotte snickered. Cassie felt like slapping her but as usual resisted. That part hadn’t changed. Nor had the fact that deep inside, there was still a little girl seeking her big sister’s love and approval.

And why not? Charlotte tossed her jet black hair behind her shoulders. She had that sassy smirk on her face that Cassie had learned to hate at a very young age. It helped. It made it easier to speak her mind.

Besides the fact that you weren’t invited? Because the best man is your ex-husband, and the maid of honor is his fiancée.

I’ll be civil.

Besides upsetting Matt and Arielle, you’ll make the bride and groom uncomfortable. And this is Sophie and Sean’s day. Not only that but Matt and Charlotte’s children, Belle and Brandon, would be there. And they had made it clear that they were not yet ready to see their mother since she had returned home. But Cassie decided to spare her sister a reminder of that. 

So why are you going? Charlotte confronted her.

I’m invited.

You’re not afraid of making Sophie uncomfortable? She was engaged to your childhood sweetheart after all.

Cassie groaned. I liked Sophie even when she was engaged to Alex. And she liked me. Cassie kept her smile to herself. She liked her even more since Sophie had fallen in love with Alex’s Cousin Sean.

When she turned back to Charlotte, there was a different kind of smirk on her sister’s face. This one was more snake-like. Yeah, right. You wanted to scratch her eyes out for snagging the love of your life.

Alex has moved on. He did that the minute— the minute he moved to San Francisco and became a high-powered attorney. What he did—does with his life is none of my business.

The smirk increased with the roll of Charlotte’s eyes. Tell that to someone who might actually believe you.

Charlotte tossed the red dress aside—too flashy—and grabbed the blue. That was always Matt’s favorite color on her. This could have been fun, she thought, but then she and Cassie had never had one of those sisterly relationships where they tried on dresses together. Of course, being the cowgirl that she was, Cassie rarely wore dresses.

Cassie snatched the ocean blue dress out of her hands and tossed it on the bed. Charlotte grabbed it again and held it up in front of the mirror.

I know what you’re doing, Charlotte. You’re thinking you can tag along to this wedding, but if I have to stand guard and miss it myself, I’ll do it. You’re not going.

It was the least she could do for Matt and Sean. Matt had suffered enough. And Sean, the groom, was her closest friend. He had been her little brother Jeff’s best friend and after Jeff died, it was Sean who had been there for her. Because Alex wasn’t. And after their brother’s death, Charlotte had decided that life was too short to be stuck living a life you didn’t want. So she had left the man she had trapped into marriage and their children and had run off to pursue her dream.

Sean was the one who had stayed and comforted Cassie and accepted her comfort in return. She would do everything she could to make their wedding day perfect for him and Sophie. She had one week to convince Charlotte not to crash it.

And one week of wondering if Alex was going to show up. The general consensus was that he would not come. That included his sister Anne’s final conversation with him after she had finished her dance tour and left San Francisco and returned home. It also included his Cousin Mairi’s observation before she too left San Francisco and came home for the holidays. And of course, there were the phone calls from his McCullough grandparents and his parents and undoubtedly some of the aunts and uncles.

And, she was sure, Matt had tried. He would be the one to have the most influence. After all, despite Alex’s being a big city attorney and Matt’s being a local contractor in the seaside town of Winslow and the tiny village of Canden Valley, he and Alex were still best friends.

But why would a man attend his cousin’s wedding when he was marrying that man’s ex-fiancée? Even though he knew it was for the best, that he couldn’t love Sophie the way she deserved to be loved, it had to hurt. Knowing Alex, he felt as if he had failed. Being his usual competitive self, he would look at it as a competition. He had, after all, lost out to his younger Cousin Sean. That had to be hard to live with. Especially for Alex McCullough Jameson.

Cassie sighed with relief when Charlotte tossed two of her dresses that she’d been trying on, onto the bed and left her room. She loved her sister, but God help her, sometimes she felt like slapping her. Or lassoing her skinny ass and tying her to a tree. She laughed at the image. Not a bad idea. It was one way to keep her from attending a wedding where she was not welcome.

She pushed aside the pile of dresses that Charlotte had taken out of her closet and not bothered hanging back up. Dresses Cassie had worn over the years when she had been wandering here and there, trying to find a life after college. She sat down on the edge of the pile, amused by the sight of eight dresses strewn across her bed. Six more than she’d ever had at one time all the years she’d grown up in the country. She’d always been more comfortable in jeans and cowgirl boots. She still was.

But some of Cassie’s jobs after college had required that she wear a dress now and then. Not so much required, but dressing up for after-work events had been warranted. Those were the jobs that involved politics. She’d worked in an assemblyman’s office briefly and then on a senator’s campaign for several months. That was after the barista job in New York and before the horse training job on a ranch in Wyoming.

Her deep sigh caused her to shudder. She was as bad as Charlotte, searching for something. No, actually, Charlotte knew exactly what she had wanted, fame and fortune that came via an acting career. Sadly, she had failed to succeed. Even sadder was her decision to return to Canden Valley and wreak havoc in the lives of those she had abandoned more than eight years earlier.

Whereas Cassie, after leaving home well over a year later and after attending the university, had wandered around the country, working here and there at various jobs, anything that would support her. She had abandoned her plans to become an attorney and seek a career in politics after she and Alex had split up. After all, they hadn’t been her plans alone. They had planned it together. Alex was going to defend the underdog, and she was going to affect the system from the inside out. But when he left her, she lost all enthusiasm for studying the law. Friends had told her that was because she was co-dependent, they were co-dependent, and that if it was truly her dream, she didn’t need him to live it with her. Apparently it wasn’t truly her dream. She had concluded that when she was working on the political campaign for the senator.

It was the job on a ranch in Wyoming that had reminded her of her original dream, the one she’d had since she was big enough to sit on the back of a horse by herself. It was that job that had convinced her that it was time to take over her parents’ horse ranch. It was time to come home to Canden Valley.

It would have been so much easier if Alex hadn’t shown up a few months back with Sophie wearing his ring. As much as she hated to admit it, and as tough as she was, it had knocked her clean out of the saddle. She hadn’t been naive enough to believe that Alex might come back to her, that they might actually be able to pick up the pieces of their shattered relationship after almost nine years. But somehow seeing him with someone else, discovering that he had moved on, had been an unexpected blow.

She had even contemplated leaving her beloved valley to which she had only recently returned. She couldn’t imagine seeing the man she had loved most of her life, return to his family’s home next door to hers for visits and holidays with his wife, and eventually their children.

But then, as usual, Sean had come to the rescue. He had fallen in love with his older cousin’s fiancée. And it hadn’t taken long for Sophie to fall in love with him. Alex had taken it well—with only a couple punches thrown. He had quickly realized that it was for the best. He wasn’t the right man for someone as sweet and kind as Sophie. And she deserved a man who could love her for herself.

All it all, it had ended well. Alex had returned to his condo and his law practice in the city, and she had stayed on the ranch.

So, the question remained. Would Alex show up for his cousin and ex-fiancée’s wedding? She feared not. Only Arielle, Matt’s fiancée, believed Alex would come. She had made a trip up to San Francisco to try to convince him. They weren’t friends, but Arielle had known him when he was engaged to Sophie, her best friend. They hadn’t embraced each other all that much, probably because Arielle could see through Alex. So, if that was the case, being the wise therapist that she was, maybe she was right. Maybe Alex would show up for the wedding after all.

Now the question was, would Cassie be relieved or disappointed if he did.

* * *

Jason Moran patted Alex on the back, a huge grin on the senior partner’s face. Well done, Alex. You really nailed Sanford.

Alex forced a smile in response and mumbled a thank you. Yeah, well done all right. He had just screwed over the little guy and cheated him out of the money he had earned and deserved. He had represented a power-hungry filthy-rich bastard and made him even more money in the deal. Great job, Jameson.

He declined the invitation to join the partners at a nearby cocktail lounge and instead headed home to his condo overlooking the San Francisco Bay. It always provided comfort, not that he often needed comfort. For some reason he did today. And he damned well needed a beer.

Uncharacteristically, he tossed his suit on the bed, not bothering to hang it up. With one jerk, he dismantled his tie and tossed it in the heap. Sweat suit, he thought, grabbing the neatly-folded top one from his dresser drawer. But for a change, he was not going to the gym to work out. Instead, he grabbed two bottles of Smithwick’s from the refrigerator, popped off their caps, and sank into his favorite chair that allowed him the best view of the Bay.

He took a long swallow of the Irish beer, then another before he felt his breathing relax to normal. What the hell was happening to him? The life he had been so content with seemed to be slipping away. It had all started when he’d lost Sophie, he decided, an excellent reason to not attend her wedding. She was marrying his goddamned Cousin Sean. He couldn’t be expected to go. But for some misguided reason, his family disagreed.

Both of his parents had called him more than once, pleading with him to come. Well, not exactly pleading, but their hints weren’t exactly subtle either. His Cousin Matt had checked in with him a couple times recently, always ending the conversation with the wedding. Because they could pretty much read each other’s minds, Alex would answer the question without Matt’s having to ask it. If you don’t stop hassling me, I’m sure as hell not coming.

Then there was his sister Anne who had come to San Francisco to dance, something she usually did three times a year. He’d never been so happy to see her leave on her dance tour. She wasn’t one to mince words. What are you thinking, Alex? So what if Sophie is marrying Sean? You know it’s for the best and you know you love them both so stop playing wounded victim and plan on getting your stubborn ass to their wedding. Actually, she was sounding a lot like their mouthy Cousin Skye lately.

Thankfully as soon as Anne had returned from her dance tour, she’d gone home to Canden Valley. She hadn’t pressured him upon her departure. In fact, she hadn’t said a word. She’d simply stood there shaking her head in disgust. Much worse, he decided.

And their Cousin Mairi, Matt’s little sister, who had been checking out city life to decide whether to go to college there, was pestering him on a daily basis. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy her company. After all, with Sophie gone, it was nice to have someone to come home to. Not that she was home that often, considering that she’d already landed a singing job in a local café. But company was good. Although, he could have done without the constant reminders of the date of the wedding and the comments that the entire McCullough family would be there, that every single one of the fourteen cousins was coming home for the big event. And that if he decided to stay home and sulk, he would be the only absent member of the family.

He took a large gulp of beer, appreciating it as it slid down his throat. He was glad to have his place to himself for a change. Mairi had headed home to Canden Valley with Anne, both of them excited to help the family with what he assumed would be a typical McCullough potluck event. 

But the calls kept coming. And the toughest to deflect were from his grandparents. We’re looking forward to seeing you, dear, came from his grandmother, along with the assumption that he would be coming. His grandfather was only slightly less subtle. Sometimes it’s difficult to do the right thing, laddie, particularly when it causes us pain. Thanks a lot, Gramps. If he didn’t adore and respect his grandparents so much, he might have been able to clear his head of their voices. But there seemed to be a persistent tape cycling through his brain, all sounding very much like his grandparents.

His grandfather had even sent Sophie’s best friend, Arielle, to San Francisco on a mission to convince him to attend the wedding. That was when he really started to feel his life slipping away.

Arielle was good. She should be. She was a therapist and she had done her job well. She had seen through him. And she had empathized. Of course her having been suffering from the same affliction of workaholism due to survivor’s guilt, had helped her plead her case. But she hadn’t only tried to convince him to attend the wedding. She had tried to convince him that it was time to forgive himself and move forward with his life.

That’s exactly what he had thought he was doing by moving permanently to San Francisco and joining a highly successful law firm. Apparently not. According to Arielle it was an escape. Work was an escape. It sure as hell didn’t feel like one today. How the hell had this happened? He felt as if he didn’t know himself anymore. Taking the side of the bastard who was out to screw people had become second nature to him. He’d become so callous that he hadn’t even realized it. Until Arielle had shown up. Damn it! And now he suddenly cared? How was his carefully erected brick wall crumbling so goddamned easily?

He finished off his first beer and reached for his second. Thank God for beer, he thought, suddenly missing his Uncle Palmer and Aunt Emily’s pub in Canden Valley. If he were there right now, he’d be sitting on a barstool alongside Matt, drinking a Belhaven on tap served by their sassy Cousin Skye. But he missed more than drinking a Belhaven at the family pub. And more than his parents, siblings, cousins, grandparents. And more than the horse ranch. A lot more.

It had been a long time since he’d felt this way, let himself feel this way. If Sophie hadn’t pressured him into that trip to his family’s home last summer, he’d be safe and comfortable living his ruthless lawyer life in the big city. But no, she had insisted on meeting his family. Sweet Sophie. He smiled, thinking of her. He couldn’t be mad at her. She was the kindest person on the planet. She belonged in Canden Valley. The moment they had driven into the village, she had been struck by the magic of Canden Valley wonderland. She had fallen in love with the country life, the horses, the dogs, his family, everything that he had tried to escape. From there it had gone downhill. Within a few weeks, she had fallen in love with Sean.

And his world had fallen apart. If only they hadn’t made that trip. She would be here with him right now, planning their wedding. They’d probably already be married. He’d be happily defending vultures and she’d be teaching little kids by day and pampering him by night.

Yep, that was it. That was when the rug had been pulled out from under him. Four months ago. And apparently he hadn’t recovered.

Alex swallowed half of his second beer and set it down in disgust. It wasn’t helping. None of it was helping. Four months of hell and there was no evidence that things were going to get better anytime soon.

He stared out at the bustling harbor and the locals and tourists milling about below him. It was a great city. The best in the world as far as he was concerned. It was his city. It represented the life he had created for himself away from his childhood country life and home. He’d done well for himself. Successful, high-powered attorney and he was only thirty years old. He needed to do something to get it back. He needed to shake off Arielle’s words. He needed to rid his mind of his grandparents’ voices. He needed to forgive Sophie and Sean. He needed to move on with his life. If only it were that simple.

But it wasn’t simple or easy. None of it was. If it was easy, he could admit the truth. Sophie and Sean weren’t the only ones to blame. He had started to pull away. He hadn’t loved Sophie enough. And if he was honest with himself for even one moment, he could admit that the real moment when his world as he had known it had started to shift was that moment at the summer kick-off picnic at his parents’ Canden Valley ranch when he had looked up and seen Cassie Callahan walking toward him.

Chapter 3

Charlotte Callahan!

McCullough. 

Cassie winced at the terse exchange of words as they swirled up the stairwell. This did not bode well. She pushed herself off the bed, trotted down the stairs to the living room where her mother and sister were facing off. She couldn’t help noticing that despite her sister’s belligerent tone of voice, there was a subtle cowering in her stance.

Their mother had rarely spoken harshly to any of her children, even during their teen years. Perhaps that was why, when she did, they listened.

You’re no longer a McCullough. It’s time you changed your name back, Sherry Callahan said. But that’s a conversation for another day. You are not attending a wedding to which you were not invited.

What? Were you eavesdropping on Cassie and me?

Their mother brushed her prematurely graying hair away from her face to be certain Charlotte read her expression clearly. Cassie knew it well. It said, Listen and listen well. But the words she chose to speak surprised Cassie. Haven’t you caused enough grief? You really want to cause more?

What? A guilt trip, Mom? No cowering now.

Sherry ignored her daughter’s accusation. You have hurt Matt enough, and Belle and Brandon. To say nothing of her and her husband. They rarely saw their grandchildren now. But she didn’t blame them for not wanting to come to the house where their wandering mother was now staying. "I won’t have you trying to