Fake News and Real Bullshit: Government, Media, and Justice in America

By Rob Errera

Who broke the news?

Modern news media broke down in less than two decades, no time at all compared to the hundreds of years of journalism preceding it. News delivery is a highly competitive business, with truth often taking a backseat to timeliness. Sensational, 'click-bait' headlines—once the sole domain of low-rent tabloids—are the new normal. 

Americans love junk news as deeply as junk food. The media is a mirror, and damn, is that reflection ugly. 

Gaze into the media mirror and see the ever-changing face of politics, journalism, and American justice in this collection of more than 50 award-winning essays. 

• Alternate facts and outright lies
• Agenda-driven journalists and power-hungry politicians
• Propaganda vehicles and war machines
• Rising taxes and wasted votes
• Celebrity worship and religious ritual
• Junk news and viral memes
• Forgotten past and forbidden future
• Big Pharma and secret societies
• Fake news and real bullshit

• Language: English
• Publisher: GiantDogBooks
• Release date: Oct 1, 2018
• ISBN: 9781949043006

Rob Errera

Rob Errera is a writer, editor, musician, and literary critic. His fiction, non-fiction, and essays have earned numerous awards. He lives in New Jersey with his wife, two kids, and a bunch of rescued dogs and cats. He blogs at roberrera.com, tweets @haikubob, and his work is available in both print and digital editions at all major online booksellers.

Book preview

CONVENTION FEVER MAKES ME SICK

September 2012

YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES now. The political conventions are over.

Political conventions come around every four years, and they’re a magical time when rational, normal people toss good sense out the window, slap temporary tattoos of elephants or donkeys on their cheeks (both sets!), and act like jackass jocks at a high school pep rally. 

There’s nothing more repugnant than a political convention. It embodies everything that is wrong with America. It’s a chance for upscale white men in suits (and a few ladies and minorities) to stand at a bullet-proof podium, and lie loudly to a cheering crowd of white men in suits (and a few ladies and minorities). It’s a chance to spout simplistic our-guy’s-great-your-guy-stinks rhetoric that no one with the education and awareness of a third grader has the sense to believe.

Political conventions were once important. Back in the old days, when communication and travel were complicated, party conventions were the only way for delegates from across the country to gather in one place to debate and discuss the issues of the day.

Today, mass media, caucuses, and primary elections take that functionality away from political conventions. It’s never a surprise who the party’s nominee for president will be—that’s already been decided weeks or months in advance.

Political conventions can sometimes be barometers of public interest. The infamous 1968 Democratic National Convention saw mass protests, rioting, and violence in the streets of Chicago. Protesters at the 2000 Democratic Convention made their voices heard about unions, gay rights, corporate welfare, environmental hazards, and other issues—though protesters were kept far away from the actual convention center by security forces.

Modern political conventions are a show, a well-choreographed performance. Party leaders make sure there’s no debate or disunity within the party. The speeches are all well rehearsed. The jokes are scripted. Even the ad-libs are planned in advance. 

It’s not real, people. It’s a show.

It’s an advertisement, an infomercial for a party’s platform and its candidate’s plastic personality. It’s a sales job, a carnival barker’s slick pitch to dimwitted rubes. Political conventions serve only one purpose—to measure how many promises a candidate is going to make or break when and if he or she gets voted into office.

I feel bad for the candidates, who are forced to play the role of star quarterback in a manufactured grade-school pep rally. Hey, we don’t need a quarterback! We need a class president! We need leadership, not someone who smiles on cue and delivers pre-packaged sound-bites approved by a political committee.

The main blame gets split between the rah-rah delegates whooping it up on the convention floor (Why do people cheer politicians and platforms like sports teams? Are these the same people who believe professional wrestling is real?), and the television analysts who dissect every word and gesture of every speech, offering in-depth coverage of something they know—that everybody knows—isn’t news, but an advertisement. These puppet-head stooges are analyzing an infomercial like it’s a lunar landing, the crash of the Hindenburg, or the fall of the housing market! How can you trust anything these news organizations ever tell you again?

We yearn for something real and honest in American politics, but the glitzy conventions put on by the Democrats and Republicans underscore just how unreal (and surreal) national elections have become. Watching the next leader of the free world emerge from a political circus that has all the honesty and integrity of a basic cable reality show doesn’t inspire confidence in me as a voter.

It makes me wish I was voted off the island.

Ha-ha, fool! Now a reality TV star is your president!

The 2016 Presidential Campaign was the most bizarre and contentious political contest in history. You know...you were there...you made history!

CANDIDATES YOU LOVE TO HATE ARE A SIGN OF THE TIMES

October 2016

NEXT TUESDAY YOU’RE going to vote in a historic presidential election. You are going to choose either the first woman President of the United States or the first political outsider to take the Oval Office since...ever. You are going to make history. Your vote counts. Yes, yours! The world will be watching. No pressure.

This year’s presidential election is historic for another reason—the two main candidates stink. I can’t remember an election where two presidential candidates were more universally disliked. No one seems particularly confident in either choice, or the idea of another President Clinton or a (gulp) President Trump. One-third of voters will vote Republican regardless of the candidate. One-third will vote Democrat. The other third is vomiting quietly in the corner. Why? Why these two? Why now?

Because America loves to hate, and Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are the most unlikeable presidential candidates in history.

Hillary Clinton isn’t a surprising candidate, other than her gender. She has been eyeing the Oval Office as her own since her husband was President, and probably long before that. She is the product of the American political machine; she has survived public humiliation, legislative scrutiny, and numerous election seasons. She knows how the political system works, and she knows how to make it work for her. Her job title may be elected official, but Hillary Clinton is the living, breathing definition of a career politician. Hillary was groomed for decades by the Democratic Party, polished and polished until out plops the robo-candidate you have today.

If the Democratic Party is a smooth assembly line, the GOP is a mad scientist’s lab. The Republican Party had eight years to find a qualified candidate. It failed. Donald Trump represents the complete disarray of the GOP.

Donald Trump is a reflection of America’s distaste for career politicians...and its love of reality TV. He is a big-money mogul, a self-made man, a blustery, big-shot businessman. He is a product of America’s capitalist/consumer society, and represents an Old World materialism associated with the American Dream: big money, big business, big buildings, and pricey real estate. (It’s going to be huge! sayeth The Donald.) He promises to remake America in his own image, and make our nation so rich and powerful, it will be able to do whatever it wants, anywhere in the world.

Hillary and Donald are the perfect candidates for Election 2016 because they are so easy to hate. Conservatives find it easy to blast Hillary’s controversial/shady political history, and liberals feast on the Donald’s sexist/bigoted soundbites. Hill and Don are cartoon villains in a pre-scripted play, the overblown characters you love to hate.

And there’s nothing Americans love more than hate.

Hate is a well-tapped vein flowing freely in our society. Just look at any form of social media (or better yet, don’t). Haters gonna hate, and trolls are gonna troll. Hate is in. Hate sells.

The American electoral process has become one part sporting event, one part live-action roleplay, and one part pep rally. Somewhere along the line, the people behind the political machines realized they could leave the ingredients of truth, vision, and dignity out of the recipe entirely and still get their candidate elected. In fact, the voting public seems to prefer a candidate lacking dignity, honesty, and good ideas. Those things muddy the mix and cause problems. Keep it simple, stupid.

As Rabbi David Wolpe writes in Time: The sports analogy is apt because sports is one legitimate hatred we have in society apart from politics. Despite our tough anti-bullying policies, it’s still okay to hate sports teams in America. You can hate political candidates, too.

Sometimes the engine of allegiance is the hostility of others, Rabbi Wolpe writes, and that, at its core, is why Hillary and Donald are our 2016 Presidential candidates—because they are so opposite and so hateable. They’re not candidates that are easy to rally behind. They’re easy to rally against.

As a person who has struggled with anger management issues, I can say with certainty that hate rarely leads to good decision-making. When you step into the voting booth next Tuesday, try not to think about which candidate you hate the most or least, but which will do the best job leading our country.

Those candidates are creeps. They’re clowns. They’re creepy clowns!

BLAME PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES FOR CREEPY CLOWN EPIDEMIC

October 2016

COULROPHOBIA IS AN abnormal fear of clowns, but based on the current creepy clown epidemic, that fear is not so abnormal. Everybody is afraid of clowns!

The current wave of creepy clown sightings has its origins in a homegrown art project. In 2014, a husband and wife team released a series of photos featuring a creepy clown holding balloons in and around the small town of Wasco, California. The Wasco clown was intended as a social media art project, and the idea took off, becoming a viral Internet sensation.

But the Wasco art project spawned countless, not-so-creative copycats. Menacing-looking clowns, often seen at the edge of forests, have tried to lure children with money or candy. Other creepy clowns were seen carrying weapons. Creepy clown sightings quickly spread to all fifty states ... and beyond. 

Northampton, England, was plagued by sightings of a scary clown with red hair and white makeup. Like the Wasco Clown, the Northampton Clown developed a following and became a social media phenomenon. Earlier this month, police in Newcastle, England, admonished a 13-year-old clown-boy for following a 17-year-old female.

Here in northern New Jersey, a driver in Fair Lawn reported being chased by a car full of creepy clowns. A clown sighting in Hopatcong forced a lockdown at the middle school last week. Creepy clown sightings range from Wayne to Little Falls, Pompton Lakes to West Milford.  

Why creepy clowns? Why now? How long before a creepy clown/teenage prankster gets shot?

The creepy clown epidemic has brewed for decades, ever since fictionalized clowns like Pennywise, and real-life killers like John Wayne Gacy, soiled the art of comedic clowning. Clowns have transformed from cheerful jesters to menacing creatures.

Maybe it’s because we live in an age of mistrust, beneath the shadow of an ever-present War On Terror. Maybe it’s the face make-up and fake nose. (What are you hiding behind that façade of hilarity, Bozo?) Whatever the reason, clowns are creepy.

The real clown community is responding to the avalanche of negative press with a Clown Lives Matter March later this month in Tucson, AZ. (Seriously.) The clown march will likely be a disaster due to their oversized shoes. (Not serious.)

Ben Redford, author of Bad Clowns, says clown sightings are more common during periods of social anxiety. So why are Americans anxious?

Next week, we, the people, will cast a historic vote, electing either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton to run our nation for the next four years. If that doesn’t make you nervous, you don’t have a clue...or a pulse.

Blame the creepy clowns on those creepy clowns. 

Election over. Now we have a creepy clown in the White House. Not the first time...nor the last...but definitely the creepiest and clownish yet!

WANTED: ETHICAL, HONEST WORKERS—ACTORS STAY HOME!

March 2017

WHEN THE HAN DYNASTY (206 BC – 220 AD) came to power, its top priority was bringing order to the mish-mash of kingdoms that made up ancient China. The Han Dynasty created the imperial examination—the world’s first civil service exam—as a