When Fathers Fail

By Adrian Ford

What would you get if you paired a tale about a bratty prince and a streetwise whipping boy with a fictional portrait of America in the 1930s?  You would get a study of the father-son relationship that is so compelling it would make the powerful weapons of the Second Punic War seem like oversized toys.  This study, one that compares the adolescent males in The Whipping Boy with the narrator in Invisible Man, presents every male child's odyssey to adulthood.  It describes each male's striving, in the words of the Apostle Paul, "to put away childish things."  In order to do this, they must first address the soul-warring elephant in the room—unresolved father-son relationship issues.  Using a methodology much like the three-fold chord of King Solomon, this study ties together Erik Erikson's Psychosocial Development Theory, sociological and psychological academic studies, and the Word of GOD to demonstrate correlation between father-son relationships and psychosocial development.  More than fascinating, this study uncovers both the causes and effects of Godless mentoring.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Adrian Ford
• Release date: Sep 5, 2018
• ISBN: 9781727099546

Book preview

Written by:

ADRIAN FORD

© 2018 by Adrian C. Ford. All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher or author. The exception would be in the case of brief quotations embodied in the critical articles or reviews and pages where permission is specifically granted by the publisher or author.

Although every precaution has been taken to verify the accuracy of the information contained herein, the author and publisher assume no responsibility for any errors or omissions. No liability is assumed for damages that may result from the use of information contained within.

Printed in the United States of America

First Printing, 2018

ISBN-13: 978-1727099546

ISBN-10: 1727099540

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Publisher: Conceptual Integrative Solutions Global, LLC

www.weseesuccess.com

DEDICATION

TO MY HEAVENLY FATHER, who has given me gifts of insight and discernment insomuch as is needed in these last days. -—Adrian Ford

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1: The XY Introduction ... p. 6

Chapter 2: Father Knows Best, or Does He? ... p. 19

Chapter 3: Stumbling Over Words ... p. 38

Chapter 4: Fatherly Love, Foreign Languages, and Foremost Loyalties ... p. 61

Chapter 5: Pride, Shame, and Potatoes ... p. 88

Chapter 6: A Jew, A Black Guy, and Two Goats ... p. 136

Chapter 7: The Conclusion and How It Should Have Concluded ... p. 150

Chapter 1: The XY Introduction

IT HAS BEEN SAID THAT the most profound relationship men have with each other are the ones between fathers and sons.  Beginning with the birth of the male-child, if not before, fathers launch a penetrating inquiry of selfhood.  They set out to explore the depth of who they are and who they will be.  If they are diligent, they do not permanently port at the easily attainable island destination of self-identification.  They press on despite tempests and the many storms of life and learn of their respective callings and assignments from the LORD.  Like playing Age of Sail in practice mode or absentmindedly warming up before an important relay race, the pre-father male is comparatively less considerate of the far-reaching consequences of his near-sighted actions.  All too often he is unaware of, or unconcerned about how his lack of importunity and failure to prepare will impact the full potential of the coming generation.  Yet, no matter how inconsiderate, unaware, unconcerned, or unprepared pre-fathers may be, there are three words that set him on the path of penetrating self-inquiry—It’s a boy.  It’s a boy, the doctor says, but what these new now-fathers hear is Teacher, the student is yours.  Their minds race and as they hurdle thought after anxious thought, they conclude that they have at least a year or two to prepare their lectures.  In most cases, they are right.  Attempting to hush their boisterous inner misgivings, they mumble audibly, After my son is breastfed, then he will be best led. 

When he is weaned, the father commences his work.  During the brief period of devoted maternal-only nourishment, the father makes a determination of what he will impart to his son.  Not all fathers are the same, though.  Their respective methods, motivations, and degree of demanding can vary a great deal.  Some can, in fact, be characterized as careless.  Yet, most are calculating.  Attempting to extend any good that they have gotten from their own fathers or to exterminate pesky patriarchal imperfections passed down to them, some fathers are shelters.  Other fathers strategically seek to salvage fading histories, heaping the weight of worry, guilt, and obligation on their sons of promise.  Seeing with eyes open only to a land of promise, they can give their sons a little more than hope for an ephemeral tomorrow.  While others, sightless, are guided by vision.  Pecking along like the Pharisees of old, they lead their socially deprived sons down a path of inevitable political incest.  These fathers force their sons into betrayal, confusion, and eventually self-imposed exile (in some cases, suicide).  There is also a category of fathers who have experienced the battles of life.  Because of the war-lent learning, they find it both natural and necessary to reveal its importance to their impressionable sons.  

Still, there are other fathers.  These fathers are firm and imposing.  They are stubborn, hard to please, and often merciless.  They prove to be more iconic than caring.  Somewhere along the transition to self-reliance, these fathers seem to have lost their human qualities; and like statues, they can only be approached and observed.  They never truly approach their sons, nor do they ever truly notice, perceive, or certify their significance.  Needless to say, sons of these fathers often abandon such a one-sided relationship and pursue one that is much more palatable.  Nonetheless, their insecurities usually beset them, leading them to yet another ineffective father-son relationship.  They are like little boys who know what they want to say yet are without the words to express it.  They are afflicted with a social stutter.  They can almost taste the goodness of self-expression, which is like fleeting words on the tips of their socially harnessed tongues.  While they have never experienced its permanence, the times of temporary (even counterfeit) fathering have proved to leave a lasting effect on these fatherless progenies.

Even biology, with all it advantages, sometimes leaves well-intentioned fathers, driven by practicality, unprepared to address the needs of their sons as they undergo the most critical of Erik Erikson’s eight psychosocial development stages.  These stages, which begin with the need to learn from one’s caregiver to trust that life is basically ok and [to] have confidence in the future, transition to childhood autonomy, advance to adolescence and young adulthood (Harder n. pag.).  While this unpreparedness is faced by many fathers, one need not remain ill-equipped to lead his son safely to the peaceful shores of not self-reliance, but GOD-reliance.  It is to this end that I have conducted this study and present its findings.  With this in mind, I present to you, the reader, an analysis of the father-son relationships presented in The Whipping Boy and Invisible Man.  The Whipping Boy is a short story written by Sid Fleishman that depicts two male characters’ transition from childhood to adolescence.  Invisible Man is a novel depicting the transition of an African-American male adolescent to young adulthood.  In The Whipping Boy, we find evidence of an overdeveloped autonomy in the naughty son, probably stemming from the parents’ [in]ability to use the powerful word ‘NO’ (Harder n. pag.).  Said differently, he is stubborn and arrogant, and his parents allowed him to have his way.  Because of his dilemma, the son in The Whipping Boy finds himself frustrated, without purpose or industry.  In Invisible Man, we find evidence of an underdeveloped identity in the narrator-son.  The son is gifted but is self-conscious and often needs encouraging.  He often finds himself overly devoted to everyone but himself, confused, and often isolated.

Before proceeding with the findings of my research, I must acknowledge that pairing The Whipping Boy with Invisible Man might seem to some as an unusual blend of perspectives from which to write a serious instructional manuscript.  There may be but little argument against an analysis of Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man.  With his multilayered presentation of the novel, one could certainly discover and develop a serious research topic from Invisible Man alone.  Nevertheless, as the ecclesiastical preacher of the Hebrew Scriptures puts it, Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.  For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up (King James Version, Eccles. 4.9-10).  While it is unlikely that the novel Invisible Man, viewed exclusively, could easily fall or stumble, it is helpful to pair it with Sid Fleishman’s The Whipping Boy and necessary to parse it under the eternity-tested magnifying lens of the WORD of GOD. 

Using the lucid articulation of a wide-eyed grammar student, Fleishman pens a work worthy of a literary double take.  At first glance, one might wonder how a book of this seemingly diminutive stature could possibly be capable of situating itself atop the literary giants of the 1987 juvenile must-reads.  Yet, after a second helping of Fleishman’s nineteenth century styled melodrama, even the casual peruser is compelled to acknowledge the author’s maxim of moral philanthropy.  This tale focused on the concepts of privilege, poverty, and adolescence, stemmed from Fleishman’s discovery of the less than charming history of the royal houses of Europe.  In a 2010 Los Angeles Times article, he explains how he was inspired to write about the royal sanction of the exploitation of impoverished adolescent males.  In the article, Fleishman remarks, The injustice of it enraged me.  The lunacy of it!  (McLellan n. pag.).  Why is there passionate rage, though?  The talented but then little-known author from New York was Jewish.  Not to say that all Jews are defenders of righteousness, but it is likely that Fleishman’s religious background granted him just the kind of righteous indignation that he needed to write such a scrupulous tale. 

The plot of The Whipping Boy involves two adolescent males.  One is a spoiled prince named Horace who spends much of his time creating mischief in the castle and playing practical jokes on the king’s most loyal subjects.  He is illiterate and cannot even spell his own name, despite the individualized instruction that he receives each day.  The other male, Jemmy, is a former rat-catching, sewer-searching orphan from the streets who has been summoned by the king to be Horace’s disciplinary stand-in or whipping boy.  While this is a