Almost: Is Never Enough …

By Dhoma Gurung

Stella isnt the typical high school student, obsessed with boys and gossip. Shes never really fit in, although she does try. She gets her schoolwork done on time and attends the parties other kids deem important. She even had a boyfriend once, but thats all over now. She just needs to make it through high school and move on.
Then, she meets both Dylan and Charles and is surprised by her romantic feelings. She does believe in fate and eternal lovefor other people. She cant see herself ever settling down for happily ever after, but here are two boys who seem to care for her; will she be able to choose one, or will Stella get in her own way?
She has a secret. Shes been hiding this secret since she can remember: a secret about her people. She holds to her privacy with a vice-like grip, knowing the truth could destroy her friends and family. Stella wants to choose love, but deep down, she knows she must protect the people she cares about from a dangerous villain. That villain is Stella herself.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing Singapore
• Release date: Mar 12, 2015
• ISBN: 9781482830668

Dhoma Gurung

Dhoma Gurung is a high school student raised in Nepal by her grandparents and educated in a boarding school for twelve years. She has spent more than seven years writing and narrating fictional stories, singing, swimming, and sketching. She has two siblings and now lives with her family in Hong Kong.

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Copyright © 2015 by Dhoma Gurung.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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CONTENTS

Chapter 1     A fresh start

Chapter 2     Family and friends

Chapter 3     I see him

Chapter 4     Misconception

Chapter 5     Mixed feelings

Chapter 6     Nobody loves anyone

Chapter 7     Liking that person

Chapter 8     Saudades for him

Chapter 9     Giving up

Chapter 10   The falling stones of truth

Chapter 11   Unaware of the bliss

Chapter 12   Hi I am Stella

Chapter 13   He never will

Chapter 14   Standing apart

Chapter 15   Rejuvenation hurts

Chapter 16   A little too hard for everyone

Chapter 17   No one knew

Chapter 18   A new beginning

Chapter 19   The final retrouvaille

Chapter 20   The agglomeration of belief

Chapter 21   The conjuring tricks

Chapter 22   Living with just a sparkle of hope

Chapter 23   Recollection of the past

Chapter 24   Without any utterance

Sometimes you don’t know who you are in love with. You try your best to figure it out but consistently you are just in loss of words once you find out the truth. You just want to protect them and you ask for nothing in return yet you still expect them to be there for you in your worse. Stella does the same but she is still confused whether choosing his happiness will tear apart her from within or will it just make her fall in love with him more passionately? She believes in fate and eternal love but not when it comes to her, why doesn’t she? Will she be able to pull through her exceptional enduring feeling? Will history repeat itself? Family? Friends? Him? Who’s going to be there for her?

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CHAPTER 1

A fresh start

~ Stella’s Point Of View:

It’s just another typical high school life everywhere. New Year, New me lines all over Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and what not. It seems like this just will not end. I don’t even care to read all those long status’s saying that they are going to change and they will forget everything, forgive everything about people who have done wrong to them and they want everyone to forget everything they have done worse to them like who’s even going to consider it?

This just doesn’t make sense at all to me, why make such a big deal for just a new year? I mean it’s not even a new year for god sake, it’s just another year!

And here I am in my room doing this three hundred word assignment that I have due next week. I’m one of those who procrastinate all the time, but this time I just want it to be done no matter what because it’s been only three months since I joined this school and I don’t want my teachers to see me a bad student. Yeah, I want them to see me among the good and smart students who are all nerdy, but I just don’t care sometimes about it, that’s what I have trouble with. I just don’t care about anything, sometimes.

Stella! Stella! Stellaaaaaaa! Are you coming or should I drag you down?! My mom calls me for breakfast. I hate it when people scream at me.

I’m coming, okay?! Just stop shouting! I don’t know why I get so pissed all the time. I find it very annoying when mom does this to me, screaming at the top of her lungs from the kitchen. She could just call me on my phone. She acts as if she does not own any phone when she lives in this big fancy house I am sick of.

It’s one of the reasons why I don’t bring my friends to my place. I just don’t get it, why we don’t get a small normal perfect little house for us three? Rather than being in this big mansion where I feel like I’ll get lost in if I search for any of my stuff. It’s so big I haven’t been in few rooms yet even though it’s been years since we’ve moved in. I clearly remember the first time I entered here. My little sister, who is exactly the opposite of me jumped higher than her actual height because she is fancy and loves jumping, won six gold medals in ‘High Jump’ for the past three years. Me? This house is too overwhelming for a normal sixteen year old teenager who wants to live an average life.

I just don’t like it here much, I feel like I’m a stranger sometimes. The people here hide so many things. A lot of people talk about ghosts, spirits, witches and vampires here. I don’t even exactly know the reason why people here disappear so much. Last year, one of my classmates was studying so hard for the exam and the next thing I hear about her is that she left the town without telling anyone. It has been just too weird that no one really cared which is why, I just detest this place intensely.

Stella! It’s been fifteen minutes already since you said you would come down!

I’m coming! And her, I hate her so much.

The alarm rings for the fifth time at seven in the morning and I finally wake up with a sigh. I wonder how everyone will have new haircut, bags, shoes and makeup sets. I miss school and my friends a lot.

I check my phone and there is a message from Daisy. Hey, you are coming to school right?

Yup, I am! I text her back.

I turn off my phone, go to brush and take a morning shower.

I don’t eat my breakfast because I don’t have enough time, put my earphones on and start listening to songs and walk to school ignoring mom. I receive a text from Daisy.

I can’t wait to see him! I’ll ask him out soon! I’ll tell you details in school.

Sure! I reply back. She likes a guy and it’s been more than six months since she first had a crush on him. I wish her luck even though I haven’t seen him yet. She told me he is good looking and that he is really nice and I believe her in this because she herself is a very nice and jolly person. Good for her.

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That’s him! Daisy points out at a guy really fast just to let me see, he is putting back his books in his locker. I can see his back and he looks fine from the back view. I really don’t want to see who he is but I want to see who Daisy likes. She’s been really nice to me since I first came to this school and she is one of my very close friends right now. He turns around, we act like we aren’t looking at him and that I’m not judging his appearance which I am.

I see him. He is fine. I think I’ve seen him before, but I don’t know where maybe in some random class? I have seen him in the hallways. He looks nice and warm. I would never date a guy like that though. Pretty sure Daisy’s taste and my taste in guys are way different. Appearance is not the only thing we search for when we like someone, right? We should know them and feel the electricity thing between us like we are linked from within, kind of.

I am a very melodramatic person, I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I feel bored when people talk to me about their crush, but I know how it feels to love somebody so much and admire him like he is the only reason you smile. I get too cheesy sometimes.

Things are going so well. I love my life at the moment. I have just returned back to my home from a house party in Barney’s place. Her parents are out of town for some business work so she called out some of our group girls to her place. Her house is very cozy and beautiful. I saw him there the guy Daisy has a crush on. He looked like a very raw person who didn’t smile at anyone in the party and just sat in a corner with some of his friends playing Xbox or something like that. I don’t know anything about games, that’s what happens if we don’t have any guy sibling, we don’t know anything.

His name is Dylan, I heard it from Andrea one of my friends. I find it strange that I’ve never seen him in any of these house party’s before until now.

Daisy told me she wasn’t feeling well and she couldn’t make it to the party. We played all those truths and dare games and a few guys got drunk, none of the girls actually drank much except for Melanie. She started dancing and I just left after watching the scene of Melanie and Nathan making out. Andrea was sitting right next to me and she is one of the girls who go to parties and as much as I have noticed she doesn’t get wasted. She’s one of those students who get straight A’s without any doubt. She told me Nathan likes Melanie a lot since they were in ninth grade when Melanie first started talking to him at school because of a dare. It was Nathan’s first time having any conversation with anyone at school since he joined and he fell in love with her, how cute but Melanie on the other end does not give a shit. Nathan always drives her back home, even though she might have been dating with five dudes in a row, teenagers. They simply don’t know what they are doing.

I wish there was someone like Nathan for me, someone who would actually be there for me. As I turned right, I could see Dylan looking at me from the group of guys he was with. Are they talking about me? Why would he look at me? Might be because I am a friend of Daisy’s? Yeah, that must be the only reason. He is kind of charming when he smiles even though he barely does. I’ve never seen him laugh. For a minute, I wanted to ask Daisy if she has ever seen him laugh and I do. I slowly grab my phone and text her. I don’t know why I am so curious about this anonymous guy my friend likes.

Have you ever seen your crush laughing?

Yes, I did.

Oh. He does laugh then.

It was about midnight and I had to leave the house. I told my mom that I would be back before twelve. As I was walking on my way to my house after bidding bye to every one of my friends, I started thinking about my ex-boyfriend, Evan.

I recently broke up with him. He is a really sweet guy who he likes me a lot, but because we are in different cities it makes no sense talking on Skype every day. He told me he would come visit me soon but now we aren’t together so I think he won’t. I don’t know what to tell him, but I just want to call him. The moment when I dial his number I see someone on the right side of the road in a gray hoodie and blue jeans with a sneaker. I think he is someone from the party, but I don’t really bother. On the third ring, Evan answers.

Hey..? His voice sounds sleepy. It’s two in the morning anyways he must have been sleeping. I shouldn’t have called. I’m really stupid.

Hey, If you were sleeping, then you can go back to sleep. I don’t want to bother you. I tell him. Shit. Why did I even say that? I am such a fool; I wanted to talk to him.

It’s ok Stella. I’m awake now. Is anything wrong? He is really sweet.

Yeah, I just missed you. I’m on my way to my home though. I went to a house party at one of my friend’s place. I’m really tired. I answer with a sigh. Well, I am. I just feel all worked up for breaking up with him.

Oh. So how was it? He asked.

It was fine. Until the same Melanie girl started dancing like nuts. We both laughed hard. I’ve told him about her a lot of times already. She is a major diva, not.

You shouldn’t be out late much. Anything can happen, you know? You should be careful.

He is louder. I hate it when he becomes over protective. I’m a girl so I shouldn’t be out late? I feel annoyed by the sound of that Anything can happen, you know? You should be careful.

It’s okay. This place is different than the place where you live at. There are plenty of people walking around. I lie. There’s only me, but I just have to make him shut. Even if I sound rude, I just am that way. I am a feminist, in a way because in the past, I have forced my parents to vote only to women standing up for politics because it is rare. I mean, it is somehow feminist, I hope.

He clears his throat and slowly he asks, Okay then. So you want to give us another try? Why does he always think that way?

No! Evan… You know me well. We are over it already and I think it’s best for both of us. My voice sounding annoyed.

Yeah, I know. We had a really unhealthy relationship. Or are you seeing another guy?

No! I just broke up with you a few months back. I answer him as fast as I can.

But by the way you sound. I feel like you have a crush or something on someone. He is probably sad because I said no right away when he asked. I always make a fool out of myself.

Do I? I ask him. I don’t know. I don’t, right? Yeah, I don’t.

Yes, you do.

He almost whispers.

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CHAPTER 2

Family and friends

I don’t. I hang up on him.

I just called him after an entire work piled up week. And he tells me that I’m in love with someone? What does he think of himself? He thinks he knows me well? We dated only for a year! He doesn’t know shit about me.

I hear a fake cough from behind as I turn around to see the person, it’s him.

Crap! The last person I wanted to see, Dylan. Was I too loud? I don’t think so, though.

I see him staring at me, but I try to ignore the awkward eye contact we were having. I turn around ignoring his presence and walk fast to my home.

What’s his problem? Why did he fake cough on me? Was he stalking me? No, why would he? Was he trying to flirt? What the hell? No! He would never do that. Damn his eyes are so suspicious. I don’t want to think about him anyways, I should keep my thoughts of him away from me. Daisy told me he was nice so maybe he is.

I can’t complain, I just don’t know him well that’s it.

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I don’t want to drive her to school! I tell my mom nearly shouting.

Stella, I have to go right away to my office. I have no other option than to hand her to you. You guys attend the same school anyways. She smiles at me. I don’t answer. I don’t want to. She knows I don’t want to drop her. I don’t know where my mom goes almost once in every month.

She’s your sister. Mom softly adds.

She’s my STEP-sister. I remind her emphasizing STEP. She raises her eyebrows.

I hate her so much. Why had she even broken up with dad? Even though, I don’t mind Grace. She is just thirteen years old and she has so many other things to worry about during this fragile teenager stage, I don’t want to hurt her but I just don’t want to be with her. She is smart, cute, bubbly, and talented but she is not my dad’s daughter and that would mean that she is not my sister as well.

I’ve always loved my dad more than anything else in my life. I mean well, I liked a guy more when I was in ninth grade, my first boyfriend. No one can forget their first boyfriend they say maybe that’s true, but I don’t know about me. I don’t even remember the times I have spent with him. Maybe he wasn’t the right guy for me.

Wait, what the hell was I thinking about? I have to be mad at mom right now and not think about my first boyfriend.

I pull Grace’s arm and push her in the car just to show mom how less I care about her daughter. I tell my half-sister loud and clearly, Just stay here and don’t move. So that mom could hear it too.

As soon as I start the car and look at mom, she’s not there anymore. That was quick.

Grace quietly nods and looks at her phone. Thank you so much for being such a nice sister I sarcastically tell myself.

After an awkward long silence that we were having I break to my sister Are you really dating that kid? What was his name again?

Blake. She says without getting mad at me for I forgot his name. I look through the mirror and I could see that she is still busy with her phone texting someone maybe or tweeting some shit. I sigh.

Right, Blake. He is in one of my classes, History?

I know her answers are shorter than it used to be. He has really influenced her. I don’t really like that dude, to be honest. All the girls know him and as weird as it sounds, I just don’t like the idea of my sister dating a guy of my age. It just sounds so wrong to me.

I mean, she can even fall in love with my boyfriend in the future? What am I even thinking about? I know my sister likes older boys, but she would never date any guy I like. Well, she did once, but that was a long time back and she just wanted to date someone at that time. I can forget that thing now because he was a few months younger than me? Around eight months younger? So, it’s quite obvious that my sister can like him too as his age is closer to her as well.

Get off the car. I tell her as soon as we reach the parking lot.

She rolls her eyes and leaves the car pushing the door hard.

Did she come to know that I’ve been thinking about all these stupid stuff? Hope she didn’t.

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He- what?! I scream at Daisy.

He’s been ignoring me for a few days now. It’s almost been a week. He doesn’t reply to any of my messages. I don’t like him anymore. He thinks I want him really bad, but now I don’t. She’s almost crying, but she bites her tongue and tries to stop her tear from falling.

He looks like a really mean guy so you actually don’t need to feel bad about him. I tell her the truth. How I feel about him. I feel like he is mean and