In Search of Moon River: Or My Quick Trip to Crazy

By Melody Rendom

This is the journey of the author from the time she meets her soulmate, Manny Twofeathers, until the time of his passing. Their sixteen years together, the highs and the lows, the adventures and the tragedies. All the while she suffers from bi-polar disorder and it examines how she overcomes episodes, including one instance where she very nearly loses it all. The doctors where thinking of sending her to one of those places where you dont come out.
Some highlights of the book are after being a single entrepreneur at thirty-three, she ends up being a mother of six children before knowing Twofeathers a year! Their first book he wrote sold to Hyperion publishing for $72,000 advance, which was unheard of for a first time author.
A fascinating read, it moves quickly through the inside view of a love story that is hard to put down.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Sep 30, 2015
• ISBN: 9781504932486

Melody Rendom

There are a number of writing projects that I have been involved in during my past career. From 1994 to 2006 I had my own publishing company. I had many hats. I was head of public relations and wrote all the press releases. I set up the book signings and interviews for the authors. My husband and I also were involved in the sales and signing on distributors. The books we published were mainly about Native American Spirituality. My husband, Manny Twofeathers wrote a book called, “My Road to the Sundance” and was about his spiritual journey. This book was picked up within a year by Hyperion (Disney) Publishing at an auction, for $72,000.00 advance. When Hyperion was through with this book and gave us our rights back, we updated it and the revised edition enjoyed three more printings. It was also sold to German and Italian publishers. His second book, “Stone People Medicine” was also sold to an Italian publisher. New World Library picked it up and again when they gave us our rights back we updated it and reprinted. Again we had two more printings of it. His third book was “Kokopelli’s Dream…the Emergence of a Legend” and chronicled the life of a deity from the southwest. It was a work of fiction, presented as what may have happened when Kokopelli was alive. Though this book did well and we received good reviews and two printings, Manny’s cancer brought the promotion of this book to a standstill, and the sales died with him. My background before I met my husband was I worked as an entertainment publicist in Toronto and wrote press releases for eleven different venues. My boss at the time was the premier publicist in Canada. He also managed various artists including Tony Bennett. At the same time, I was the Lifestyle Editor for a paper in Toronto, called “The Link” and wrote articles on many different subjects.

Book preview

© 2015 Betty Rendon (Melody). All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 09/30/2015

ISBN: 978-1-5049-3247-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5049-3248-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015913515

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Prologue

Part I Manny

Part II Motherhood

Part III Arizona

Part IV Trailer Life

Part V Life at mom’s house

Part VI Erie

Part VII Our whole world changes

Part VIII Time with my mom

Part IX Life without my mother

Part X Manny’s long journey home

Part XI Life without Manny

Epilogue

About the Author

Acknowledgements

There are so many people to thank that have helped me on my journey along the way. First and most important are my children. They have inspired me and kept me going in ways they could never know.

A special thank you to Carla Treatch-Mungai for the editing of this book. Thank you for her patience and diligence in getting through this manuscript.

Moon River

from the Paramount Picture BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S

Words by Johnny Mercer

Music by Henry Mancini

Copyright (c) 1961 Sony/A TV Music Publishing LLC

Copyright Renewed

All Rights Administered by Sony/A TV Music Publishing LLC,

424 Church Street, Suite I ZOO, Nashville, TN 37219

International Copyright Secured All Rights Reserved

Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard Corporation.

Introduction

I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder when I was sixteen years of age. Back then it was known as manic depression. There were a number of hospitalizations through the years, always on an odd year in the fall and winter time. One doctor told me that that was probably my cycle, and I could take my medication during that time. There has been a lot more discovered about this illness. A person with this disease needs to be on the medication all the time. There were times I wasn’t on anything, even on an odd year. Sometimes I was on my medication during an odd year and still went into the hospital. It was very frustrating, and often interfered with my life.

Meeting with Manny Twofeathers that fateful day in Tucson, Arizona, I was going through an episode. Everything had meaning or was a sign from God. Manny kind of turned my life around in a way I would never have imagined. He kind of saved me from a disaster occurring.

This is the story of our love affair, combined with how I survived going through several episodes of bi-polar mania during the years we were together.

I hope it helps those that suffer with this disorder, and perhaps helps those family members and friends to understand what it’s like to go through it. It has been a blessing and a curse to me.

Moon River has always been my favorite song. Johnny Mercer’s lyrics were very close to how I felt:

Moon River

Moon River, wider than a mile

I’m crossing you in style

some day

Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker

wherever you’re going

I’m going your way

Two drifters off to see the world

There’s such a lot of world to see

We’re after the same rainbow’s end—

waiting ’round the bend

my huckleberry friend

Moon River and me

As you read on through my journey, I’m sure you’ll agree with me that these haunting lyrics fit my life with Manny.

January 20, 2008

As I begin my reflection of even this past year – it appears that my entire life has experienced an upheaval that I could never have imagined.

I’m not sure where to start … do I begin when Manny died? Where do I start explaining an extraordinary journey into a darkness – so bleak … I don’t know, so I’ll just start.

Prologue

Chapter 1

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Just another Manic Monday

It was early in the morning of Monday, July 23, 2007. I was convinced the FBI had my house bugged, and in a manic state I was running through the house cursing them – or maybe I was talking to the devil – challenging evil to leave us alone. I truly needed to be on some serious meds. But it was too late to be rational. I just had to get out of the house. I had to get across the border, back to Ontario where I felt safe from – whatever I imagined was after me.

By the time the kids were up I was on a mental rampage to get what I needed in my little car to go camping maybe? Where would I go – to Hamilton to see relatives, or Barrie to see Dan and Margie – or to Norland to cottage country? I wasn’t thinking that far ahead, I just had to get out of Erie. I felt someone or something was coming to do harm to the kids and I.

Stone was dressed in his baseball uniform – with no other clothes. Oriona had packed the most and was reluctant to leave. She didn’t understand why we had to leave and why the urgency.

Somehow around 10:30 we were just about ready to go.

I had no money, so I got the kids’ savings out of the bank which was only $40.00. I still had to fill the tank with gas.

I decided to go on Route 20 as far as possible in case the car was bugged – I just had to make it across the border – had to get home.

When I got to I-90 and was close to the border, Oriona’s cell phone went off. I about went off the road because I thought the cell phone had a tracking device. I started screaming and smacking Oriona. I made her throw the cell phone out the window. God, I had been so careful, and here she was with a cell phone. What if her friends were in league with the FBI? Oriona was crying, Stone was scared and I was terrified I would get stopped at the border. After all, the FBI could take my kids away – couldn’t they?

My reason for worrying so much about the FBI is that now that Manny was dead, I thought they’d focus on me. I published a book called Walk for Justice about one Oneida native that walked across the U.S. to bring attention to Leonard Peltier. He’s serving time for allegedly killing two FBI agents. I thought they were angry with me and knew without the protection I had with Manny – they would cause problems.

In retrospect they could very well have been watching us or having our phone bugged – I don’t know. But I don’t think they really care about me now, the book was a flop and financial disaster for us.

Somehow I crossed the border with only my driver’s license and we drove on.

I was still furious with Oriona and aside from crying for me hitting her – she seemed oblivious to why I was so angry and worried.

I was determined to show the kids a holiday off the grid – away from cell phones, video games, computers etc. I needed to be in Ontario, and when I crossed the border I still didn’t feel safe. I had to get north – get to Toronto.

We passed Hamilton and finally stopped near Mississauga. I was getting to need gas again – and was out of cash.

We walked around Mississauga to see how resourceful we could be. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so far gone at this point there wasn’t anything rational going on in my head.

The kids were hungry.

I drove to a gas station and had to get some gas. I called some friends – but never got through. Somehow I managed to get the gas station to give me $6.00 in gas – with a coffee. I begged him to help me out, I said I’d make coffee, or clean the floor etc.

Off we went toward Toronto. I still thought the car was bugged, so I was careful not to say where I was going. I drove through Toronto and headed up towards cottage country. Three times I tried to stop somewhere in Toronto to sleep. All three times in a dark parking lot – a car would pull up. I was convinced I was still being followed. Now my paranoia had increased.

The poor kids – I was driving erratically and it’s only by the grace of God I made it as far as I did.

Chapter 2

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Making my way to Cottage Country

I finally had to stop on the side of the road to sleep – I was heading to Norland, where I had an Aunt we could visit before going to the cottage just outside of Norland.

The three of us slept a bit, I was watching to see if anyone passed us.

Around 5:30 am I got ready to drive. I needed gas again – and stopped at this gas station. I told the attendant I needed gas, and that I was worried I was being followed. I told him enough to make him paranoid – but he wouldn’t give me any gas. I tried trading toys for gas. Then there was a worker outside in a van – I told him a bit – he gave me three dollars and I now had a bit more to go.

I really had no idea how I was going to make it. I stopped at this small town called Uxbridge. While the kids slept, I parked, locked up the car and staked out the place. I was looking for a place to move to. I got as far as the school, and a car pulled up to where I was stopped and turned around when he saw me. He must be following me. I quickly walked back to the car convinced I was still being followed. I knew I had to keep on so I got back in the car and kept on driving.

Somehow I made it almost to Orillia – there I knew was a road to Norland. Plus we had a customer near the Rama Native Casino. I managed to get to the casino parking lot – where I was going to clean up. I knew I couldn’t make a sales call in my current condition. I hadn’t packed any clothes either. So I smelled bad, was exhausted and absolutely convinced there was a tracking device and bug in the car.

I decided to wait until I was cleaned up to visit our customer. I was yelling and cursing at what now I imagined was media mogul, Rupert Murdoch. I heard he had just bought the Wall Street Journal and I thought he probably owned the Toronto Sun and was planting messages in that paper. This kind of thinking was typical of Bi-polar mania. Now a media mogul was after me, because I knew things.

I pulled out of the casino parking lot and got on the road to Norland, yelling and cursing at the bug in the car.

I can’t imagine what the kids were thinking. All they say now is they were scared.

By the time I got on the road to Norland, I was on empty. I was pretty much driving on fumes and finally got within 10 feet of the Norland sign when I ran out of gas.

I was so tired. Oriona went to try and get help, I had my flashers on. No one would stop to help.

As I calmed down and started to relax, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. My blood pressure was up and lack of sleep didn’t help. I told Stone I needed some help. I pointed out someone across the street and told him to get me some water.

Stone ran across the road to get me some water. In minutes he got there with 4 bottles of cold water. Around the same time Oriona arrived with someone who had two tanks of gas and Oriona even had a hot cup of tea for me.

The man who gave me the water came over to ask if I needed some help, his name was Girard. The man with Oriona knew my Auntie Irene. Whew – I was safe – I made it.

We went over to Girard’s and he offered to feed us. I was showing the kids how nice people are here.

I was kind of in a daze, and somehow we all had a chance to clean up. After all, I didn’t want to see my aunt all messed up. So we took turns cleaning up at Girard’s and he was so kind.

Soon after we left and I drove to my aunt’s place.

Chapter 3

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Reliving the past at Auntie Irene’s

She was next to the Esso gas station – which when I was young, she and her husband owned. Uncle Ernie would pump gas and Auntie Irene would sell her baked goods.

Now she was 87 and not well. Half blind, health problems and she was being looked after by home care people and her adopted son.

She was glad to see us, and offered us a place to stay to visit.

Chapter 4

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What’s in a name?

It seems appropriate here to explain my names. On July 20, 1957 I was born and because my mother was 18 and unwed – I was born illegitimate. She wanted to call me Melody Jean Poole, but because the woman in the bed beside her lost her baby – my mom named me after that woman – so Beverly Jean Poole was born. Then when I turned 9, my mother married a man named Earle Hutton. My grandmother Betty had died that February, 1966 and my mother decided to give me a complete name change to Betty Jean Hutton. Earle Hutton legally adopted me. In the fall of 1989 a friend of mine regressed me, through hypnosis. Not to a past life, but to just before I was born when I was choosing my parents. Anyway, I remembered I was going to be called Melody. I had been named two other names because of a death – Melody Hutton was born. When I married Manny – legally I was Betty Rendon – to all I was Melody Rendon.

So many people asked over the sixteen years I was with Manny what my Native name was and I would just say Melody. I didn’t need or want another name. I also get called Beverly Poole.

This was another reason I felt safe in Norland, she was calling me Beverly.

Chapter 5

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Fenelon Falls

Early Wednesday morning I woke up before everyone and decided to drive to Fenelon Falls, a small town that I remembered as a kid. I wanted to see if it was where I wanted to move to, when I decided to come back to Ontario.

The drive was nice and I still had these grandiose thoughts. I saw a theatre was for sale and figured I’d buy it and a house. I’d open up a talent agency/public relations firm and have another office in Erie. I stopped at the grocery store and picked up two cards off the bulletin board. One for a small plane (my neighbor Chris in Erie could be my private pilot). The other card was for a car. I was getting ready to sell the Accent GL and here was an ad for a red Firebird.

I stopped at the lake front – put my feet in the water and decided right then and there I wanted to live in Fenelon Falls, Ontario.

So many times in my past I’ve manifested what I want. Some call this the law of attraction, or they say be careful what you wish for. Given my own history, at 50 years of age I should know to be careful – but in my state of mind at the time I wasn’t thinking ahead.

Next I stopped in at the Canadian Tire and found one of my credit cards worked. I bought a fishing rod and a box of tackle for Stone, and for myself a Canada flag chair. I had bought Oriona a book about Princess Diana. One of my delusions I had told Oriona is that if she stayed a virgin, she could marry the future King of England. I even had a plan for that. We were going to be rich and on easy street.

By the time I got back to the house I was excited about telling the kids about my trip and how we were going to move back to Ontario. If I moved back to Canada I could write anything I wanted, and say what I wanted without worrying about being escorted to the border and having my kids taken from me. I was only a U.S. permanent resident and I found out I didn’t have very many rights, until I became an American citizen.

This included inheriting Manny’s property or estate. Because he didn’t leave a will, I was very vulnerable and financially unstable, and mentally unstable.

Chapter 6

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Oriona’s Indifference Alarms Me

Something was bothering me about Oriona. She seemed so emotionally detached. Stone and I could go for walks and talk on the same level – but there was something bothering me about Oriona. All the kids seemed to want to do is go back to Erie to see their friends.

That wasn’t an option right now – I wanted a week’s vacation from everything. I needed to be off the grid, away from bill collectors, the FBI, my life in Erie now without Manny. I was still angry with Oriona about the cell phone incident.

Chapter 7

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A new conspiracy emerges

As I was checking out my aunt’s I noticed the whole place was still decorated for Christmas. Now a new conspiracy was emerging.

Auntie Irene had changed. She was nervous and we were not getting along very well. I don’t know what all I said but I’m sure it was upsetting to her.

Chapter 8

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Behind the Wheel – Not such a good idea

After dinner I was mad at Oriona and Auntie Irene and decided to take Stone to see Fenelon Falls. So we got in the car and took off.

While I was driving I was talking to Stone about Oriona and Auntie Irene. I started to get sleepy and tired as I’d been crying earlier.

I think I either got lost or was just too tired to go on, so I told Stone I’d have to try another time and said I’d better get back to Norland.

I turned the car around and started driving back. I fell asleep for a bit, opened my eyes and realized the car was in the other lane. When I tried to straighten out I lost control of the steering wheel, did a 360 degree spin and ended up in a deep ditch backwards and hit a tree.

I asked Stone if he was alright, he was – and thought the spinout was cool. I was alright, but was shaking so bad, and all I was concerned with was my daughter – that she was safe. Now I thought my car had been tampered with by the people following me.

A couple stopped to call for help. I asked if they could please call Irene Bartley in Norland to see how Oriona was. I was worried sick, and had to tell her we were in an accident.

The police came and filled out a report, and the tow truck driver came. He gave us a ride to Norland and we pulled into the driveway. I had to empty out the car, and getting Oriona’s help was a chore.

I was still shaking from the shock of the accident – it could have been far worse, and it’s those thoughts that run through your mind – what if …?

At one point I threw myself on the ground and started crying. The tow truck driver asked if I was alright, and should he call for help, I said, No I’ll be alright. I was worried if they took me to the hospital the kids would be taken from me. I just knew, on some level, I needed to be in the hospital for bi-polar mania, but I just wasn’t rational.

The car was finally emptied and the tow truck driver took the car. I said I’d call my insurance company. The car looked totaled, but I was just glad Stone and I were okay.

At this point I was really making a spectacle of myself to draw attention. This, of course, upset my Aunt and Oriona.

So I took a walk to think. A ways down the road there was an empty building with a dock nearby. I kind of collapsed and prayed for an end to this existence. I was so tired, stricken with grief, and feeling I’d lost my baby girl, Oriona. She seemed like an empty shell.

I had a gold necklace on and the chain broke right there – I had a gold Star of David on it, and I just left it there. In a daze I walked back to the house. It was starting to get dark.

Auntie Irene was sitting in her chair in the living room, Oriona was calmly watching TV, and I suppose Stone was too.

We were starting to get on her nerves – especially me. She thought the kids were good and felt I should take them home to their friends.

Chapter 9

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Back in Time Off the Grid

No one understood. I wanted to show the kids my experience as a child, the whole Charlotte’s Web, Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn outdoor experience. Fishing with a rod you made yourself with a worm or minnow and the cottage life. I had intended on taking them to the cottage that the Marshes owned. This is a good place to explain a little clearer about this whole escape to the past.

When I was 3 years old my mom moved from her hometown, Espanola, to Toronto. She was very brave and had to place me in a home as she got a job waitressing. She answered an ad in the Toronto paper about a woman who took in kids.

So at 3 years I started to live with Mrs. Marsh. My mom would come and visit me on weekends. I remember my mom would have perfumed scarves. After awhile though, I started to call Mrs. Marsh Mommy, as my mother sometimes wouldn’t come to see me for a month! So Mrs. Marsh said I could call her Auntie Marsh.

My life with the Marshes was great. She took in other kids. What I didn’t realize is that she was a Foster mom, paid by Children’s Aid to look after kids, sometimes until they were adopted.

I called Mr. Marsh, Daddy because I didn’t have one yet. I told people he died.

The Marshes were Catholic. I loved the Catholic Church with all the stained glass, and the candles. Auntie Marsh did her rosary faithfully every night.

They had a small cottage just outside Norland and in the spring, summer and fall – we’d go to the cottage. Every time we’d go up to the cottage, we’d stop and see Auntie Irene and Uncle Ernie at the gas station. I loved those times so much, I only have good memories of life with the Marshes. They had a son, Wayne and a teenage daughter, Marilyn.

Chapter 10

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Charlotte’s Web kind of Summer

One summer I remember I had to stay with Auntie Irene for a time. I remember milking a cow, feeding the pigs, collecting eggs from the chickens. They had a farm then and another memory was fresh strawberries from the garden, and pieces of rhubarb dipped in sugar. Auntie Irene would make me peanut butter dogs made with toothpicks and bread shaped like dogs. I would watch Gumby and Pokey on the TV. I think Auntie Marsh had to work or something that summer.

Life at the cottage was great! I visited the cottage until I was 22 or so. Fishing, swimming, canoeing and just living the adventure of being in natural surroundings.

So it was all these memories I wanted to share with the kids while we were in Norland. Now without a car, I didn’t know what to do, but I couldn’t get it together to make the call to my insurance company.

Chapter 11

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The Koreans at the gas station

My animosity was building about the new owners of the gas station. The night of the car accident I was near their fireworks sign, yelling at the owner about something – I took my cigarette and burned a hole in the sign. Then I went in the bathroom and pumped soap all over everything! Stone was with me – he understood – no one else did. I was angry now.

I ended up apologizing to the owner later when I became a bit more rational – he was going to call the police! Thank God he didn’t.

Chapter 12

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All is destined to be

In retrospect, everything happened exactly as it was destined to.

When we were all in bed, and my mind was racing, I got up and did some investigating to see what was up in the basement. Somehow, I surmised there wasn’t a plot and we were where we were supposed to be.

The bloodline of the royalty wanted us there so Oriona could marry Prince William. The royals wanted Oriona’s DNA protected. She was destined to be Princess Oriona.

So I went to sleep peacefully, knowing I was right where I was supposed to be.

Chapter 13

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Shocking news from Auntie Irene

The next day was okay. I took Stone for a walk to show him how to have a fun time. We came across a small yard beside an empty building. The same one I’d been at the night before.

There was an abandoned small baseball field set up. A stick, a ball and I played a bit with him. Then we moved to a dock behind the building. I told him about fishing on Gull River. I was trying to show him the treasures that could be found and to let his imagination kick in.

I gently pushed him in the water – only his feet got wet. He was mad at me, and I said he’d dry; after all it was only water. We went to the place I laid down the night before. I showed him the gold necklace. He picked it up – and I said, See, sometimes you can even find gold! Then I admitted that I had dropped it.

I knew if Manny was alive and able, he would be showing things in the desert, the same way I was.

We both thought the kids needed to learn how to play, away from all this electronic entertainment.

We walked back to the house.

She kept saying I needed to call my insurance company. Her phone was messed up and you couldn’t dial out a toll free line. I could only use the pay phone on the other side of the gas station.

She told me everything was in his name. She said he was a Toronto cop and a good one. I was beginning to worry about her safety. Maybe I was brought there to help her.

We were having dinner and Auntie Irene mentioned the checks she got while looking after me that summer. I said, What do you mean? She explained Children’s Aid sent her money to watch me.

I felt like a knife had been thrust in my gut. My mom hadn’t been paying for me to stay with the Marshes – she had me placed in a Foster home. I was a Foster child and Auntie Irene wasn’t just Auntie Marsh’s friend – she was another Foster mother.

I was shaken, crying and was devastated. My whole life I thought Auntie Irene cared for me because she wanted to. Turns out she was paid to watch me.

Oriona and Stone tried to comfort me. It had been a tough time since leaving Erie – what a vacation!

Irene said, I thought you knew, or I wouldn’t have told you.

I started to calm down but it was another trigger to my madness.

Chapter 14

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My madness peaks

When everyone was asleep, I got up and now believed there was a camera hooked up to her computer. The keyboard was in the basement. I started quietly moving things around and inspecting papers.

He had a life insurance policy on her. He was taking care of her. If I picked up the phone it was an intercom to somewhere so they could hear her conversations. This place was bugged and now I thought I had to protect her. I started thinking he was evil and I got so scared I tried to calm down. No sleep - racing, irrational thoughts – I was in bad shape.

I was in the bathroom and decided to clean out her lipstick drawer. It seemed like everything sharp and pointy was set up to hurt her. So carefully, I cleaned out her drawer. At the back of the drawer was a folded piece of foreign currency. It was from Russia or somewhere in the Eastern European countries.

I had been putting lipstick all over my face to look like a clown. When I washed it off, some red got left near my hairline. I also put some stuff in my hair that made it look greasy. I’m sure I was a sight.

The discovery of the foreign currency scared me a lot because now this conspiracy had taken on international ties.

Maybe he was having her looked after by Russians. Maybe there was oil on her land – she was living quite poorly.

She got her cigarettes, and food she needed but not much else. She could have been taken care of much better.

The more I looked at the currency the more scared I got. So I cleaned up and woke Stone up. I had Stone, Oriona and I up and I closed the door to the bedroom Oriona and I were sleeping in. I said to the kids, Let’s link. By holding hands we were a circle of one. I started praying absolutely terrified we would all be dead in the morning. I had Stone stay in the room with us and we all went to sleep.

Chapter 15

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My Paranoia Ensues

Friday morning we got up and of course, I didn’t have much sleep. Irene was complaining that I moved things and I would have to put them back. She kept saying her blood pressure was up, and she didn’t want to have a heart attack.

I started to think we should leave because if she did have a heart attack because of us being there, I could be in trouble.

So I told the kids to start gathering our stuff together – we were going to leave - to where I didn’t know.

Oriona was upset with me and said I needed to not bother her.

I was appalled that my daughter was more concerned about Irene than me! I’d just been in a car accident, I’d just found out I was a Foster child. Couldn’t she give me some attention? But no, she still had that unnerving calm demeanor.

Chapter 16

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Camping out in front of a Church

On the other side of the gas station was a small log cabin; beside it was a Baptist church. Maybe if we moved everything over to the front of the church, help would come and I wouldn’t be bothering Irene. This way I could keep an eye on her house, and we could plan our next move.

So I told the kids we’d start taking stuff over to the church. Oriona was reluctant again to move.

I got in a fight with Irene and told her I was leaving. She said, Fine! I said maybe the next time I saw her would be at her funeral!

It was all so insane I can hardly fathom the things I did and said.

Chapter 17

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Investigating leads to more conspiracy theories

After transporting all the stuff from the car over to the church, Stone and I started to clean up the play area behind the log cabin. Then we looked in the back, behind the tree line. We walked around and discovered a tree house that said Keep Out. I was very suspicious and now was thinking there was water on the property. I still thought they were trying to kill the kids and me because I had uncovered a link.

I had the Russian currency inside my husband’s book. I was still scared.

One couple stopped by to see if it was a yard sale and if the wolf hide was for sale. I said, Sure for $10,000.00. Then I laughed and said it wasn’t for sale, but we may have a sale tomorrow.

This was now only 5 days since I left Erie, and Friday, July 27, 2007 was becoming one of the worst days of my entire life.

Awhile later another couple came to see what we were doing there. I don’t even remember what I said; it may have been about camping. I don’t remember much from this point because I was so out of touch with reality.

Chapter 18

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The Police show up to investigate

Awhile later two cop cars showed up. I was so relieved. Help had finally arrived. I was still so paranoid I was talking to the policeman about the Russian currency and he said they got called on a report that a woman and her children were camping behind the church.

The other cop talked to the kids and Oriona must have said we stayed at Irene’s. The cop went to investigate and when she came back she addressed me as Beverly Poole. I was visibly relieved and answered Yes. Anyone that knew me by that name was okay, because the FBI didn’t know that name.

Meanwhile the kids were being questioned. Another car showed up and this woman gave Oriona a Greek Salad. We were all hungry.

I was talking to the policeman about conspiracies and he was very nice – I trusted him. I didn’t trust the woman that brought the salad. She was from Children’s Aid and her job was to get the kids to a safe place.

There was concern about the red on my hairline, it looked like blood. I said it was lipstick.

It appeared the police were going to take me away, and the kids would be too. In a way I was relieved because I was in Ontario and I was safe.

I hugged Oriona and got in the back of the police car. I gave Oriona my wedding band of 2 dolphins. I didn’t get a chance to hug Stone, and they wouldn’t let me out of the car to do so. That hurt me. I wanted to let him know everything would be alright.

The whole scene was kind of a blur. That woman got in the front seat of the police car and she started asking questions. I just didn’t trust her and mouthed to Oriona, NO – I don’t trust her. The police continued to question the kids. I kept telling Oriona it was going to be alright.

The policeman, Ted finally got in the car. I said I didn’t trust her, only him. He had kind eyes. I had said that earlier when they first arrived, that I was glad to see them.

Poor Stone had only his baseball uniform underwear on. I had told him it could sub for a bathing suit as it was hot.

Chapter 19

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The crazy woman goes to the hospital against her will

Visually I had no idea how bad I looked. I must have resembled a crazy woman – well actually, I was a crazy woman.

I was trying to explain the Russian money and how I was worried about my aunt. Of course, at this point I was completely out of control mentally. When I arrived at the hospital emergency in Lindsay, I thought the two security guards were in on it (not sure what it is) – but they were part of it. The intake nurse was also part of it. The only one I trusted was Ted. I didn’t trust the doctor or nurse, I wouldn’t take a pill. I was convinced if I gave in they’d drug or kill me.

The policeman had managed to get me the pictures of the kids in my ID, and he gave them to me, so I’d calm down.

I went in the bathroom to clean up. What a sight I was! Greasy looking hair, I washed off the lipstick and cleaned up as best I could. Back in the hospital room, a doctor came in and mentioned that I was bi-polar.

I challenged that and said, I never said I was bi-polar – where are you getting that from? Even though all my symptoms led to that diagnosis - trouble with female authority figures, no sleeping, conspiracy/paranoid thoughts, racing thoughts, grandiose plans or thoughts. Some of these feelings, especially the grandiosity, felt great like you’re on top of the world.

That was why I wasn’t getting along with Oriona, Auntie Irene, and also the Children’s Aid worker.

Chapter 20

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PICU for 2 weeks observation

Apparently, I was put in the Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit or PICU of the Ross Memorial. On an Involuntary Status form, which was valid for two weeks.

This was terrible. The bed had restraints on it in case I had to be held down. There was a curtain – beyond that was a one way window so I could be observed. The small window in the cubicle I stayed in was way at the top of this awful place. As part of the treatment, I had to ask for everything twice – to show me the nurses weren’t going to cater to me.

Chapter 21

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No one understands what it’s like

As someone who is bi-polar or manic-depressive, I must say I sensed an animosity towards me because I stopped taking my meds. People don’t have very much compassion or understanding when it comes to mental illness.

If I’d broken my leg or had to have brain surgery there would have been more sympathy. As word was spread to my friends and family about