Different Coins in the Fountain: Volume Ii of Ii

By Carlos V. Cornejo

Volume I contains fifty-four stories. Volume II, which is a continuation of Volume I, has forty-two stories. The stories are stand-alone stories; that is, they are independent from each other, so that these books can be read in any sequence the reader chooses.

There is no particular reason why they should be read in the way the author sequenced them. The reader can select stories based on the time there is to read one or more stories. The books are designed for busy people who need to escape from the problems of work, family, or self-imposed rituals for governing activities of the day.

Please read these stories to explore and enhance that which is not yet part of your day or evening accomplishments.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 1, 2013
• ISBN: 9781491824566

Carlos V. Cornejo

Carlos V. Cornejo is a native of San Francisco, California, and now a resident of Redwood City, California. He is a family man with adult children and growing grandchildren. He is a retired school superintendent from San Francisco's school district. He still retains his love for teaching and interacting with others of all ages. After military service and also traveling much of the world, he now spends his time puttering in the garden, overseeing his small vegetable garden and potted plants. He enjoys reading, movies, and the cultural events that are scheduled in the Bay Area. He loves to write for your amusement and his.

Book preview

MOM, JUST DON’T!

Twelve years into their marriage, Myrna applied for a divorce from Jake. It wasn’t that Jake had been abusive or had been a bad husband or father to their two daughters. It was the accumulation of many little things that annoyed Myrna. She felt that she had tried to be a good person and that Jake did not have the will to remedy those things that caused contention.

First, he smelled like fried chicken since he owned and worked at a fast-food franchise. His clothes had to be washed before he smelled up the garage where he took his clothes off prior to entering the kitchen in his skivvies.

Then it was the glass fish tanks that he kept in the garage with big, black tarantulas. No matter how much Myrna complained about the furry creatures, she could not win arguments to get rid of them. She was always frightened that she or her daughters would become victims of an assault by spiders that escaped their containers. Myrna went to the garage daily to review the lighted tanks to count the huge spiders so that she could ensure that none of them had managed to get out of their containers.

There were other things Myrna found unsatisfactory. Jake worked too many Saturdays and Sundays and didn’t have interesting subjects to talk about after business hours.

The culminating straw that imposed the additional weight that broke the camel’s back was that Arnold, Jake’s son from a previous marriage, came to live with them. He, too, smelled like fried chicken because Jake gave him a job at his establishment. Arnold was put in the fourth bedroom of the house.

In what Myrna listed at the top of her list of complaints was that Galapago and Marguesa, two enormous tortoises, were turned loose in the backyard. They ate all the plants and grass that once grew, previous to their making it their habitat. Jake and Myrna’s house had the garage and backyard as off limits to daughters Sheba and Fatima. Now, the whole house was to be off limits because of the pending divorce.

Myrna took it upon herself to leave her home since Jake had numerous excuses and problems having to do with being away from his enterprise. He also said he couldn’t be hurried to find a place to stay that would rent to him with all his strange pets. He agreed that at this juncture in time, Arnold needed his support and a place for housing.

Her stay at her parents was received with many questions. Myrna’s parents, Basco and Trinidad, helped Myrna, Sheba, and Fatima rearrange the furniture in order to make space for their belongings. Basco moved all the household items that were now in the way to the garage and parked his ten-year-old Chevy in the driveway. All recognized that conditions were now crowded with things and stressed family members.

Trini kept asking, How temporary a stay is this going to be? Do we wait for a divorce judgment or what?

There was no answer, only crying. In the meantime, Myrna had to make several trips to her house to obtain other clothes and personal items. The smell of chicken had increased. The lights on the fish tanks had gone out in the garage, and it was not certain if the arachnids were now walking the garage floors.

Myrna wrote Jake a note to spray the house with aerosols, count his tarantulas, put new bulbs in the fish tanks, wash the dishes, to not leave shoes and clothes in the living room, and to pick up the poop in the yard or she would call the Humane Society. Also, he needed to make out a check for $2,000 to her.

When Basco sat down at the dinner table with his three additional ladies, he asked, Who at this table loves Jake Holstein more than they love me?

Two hands went up immediately.

Well, that’s a tie, Basco said, because Grandma and my daughters love me more.

Put it to another vote, Papa, said Sheba.

Don’t you dare, admonished Myrna.

On Saturday, Basco put much of the stored furniture in the front of the house with a large sign that read Garage Sale. Trinidad went to the rescue to pick out things she wanted to keep. She did not subscribe to Basco’s decision that Ulysses, the ten-year-old Chevy, had to be returned to the garage.

Trinidad turned over making dinners to Myrna, who cooked meals from the New York Cook Book. In exchange, Trini helped her granddaughters with their homework. Things were somewhat awkward, and everyone coped with the fact that the single-family home was reorganized as a two-family unit.

Matters worsened when Alfonse, Myrna’s younger brother, drove his packed 1958 El Camino to his parents’ house and announced that he was out of a job. He too was in need of a place to stay until he could regain self-sufficiency. By profession, Alfonse was a drummer. Luckily, he was drumless when he moved back to his father’s house. It didn’t stop him from playing his record collection and tapping on tables, pots, knees, floors, and walls. When he did his drumming, Trini was the only one who appreciated his noise. In fact, she even danced to the beat and showed everyone in the house that she still had her moments of silliness.

In the meantime, Myrna was not happy with such close proximity in the closed quarters of her parents’ house. What a dilemma! Too crowded living quarters, and too close to her husband and his prodigal son. It was like riding a crowded bus to the end of its line to nowhere. Myrna’s thoughts were of her spacious, comfortable house. It was not fair now that there were only two persons to share two bathrooms and four of the bedrooms. Furthermore, living with her parents was like going from one nut house to another.

While Myrna was experiencing crowded conditions, they were not comparable to living in one of India’s major cities. On the other hand, Jake thought he was a modern-day Robinson Crusoe. He felt isolated and did not like being by himself with his closed-mouth son. Jake was not a happy camper. He asked himself this question: What is this life I have? There is no one to talk to me. Watching TV is a one-way street. I miss my family. Actually, I miss Myrna. I didn’t realize how she worked to keep this house spic and span and how her day-to-day companionship was magnifying my life.

He started to call her and send her notes that arrived with attached bouquets of flowers. Myrna told her husband, Jake, we can talk when your baggage doesn’t contain Arnold, giant turtles, and freaky, eight-legged critters.

Jake thought she verbally stabbed him when she told him that instead of spending all his time preparing chickens, he should set aside time to see a psychiatrist. Such verbal stabbing depressed him. He also realized that he needed his family more than a shrink. He did not want to continue his regressive slide.

He made up his mind to change, and one day he went to his shop and told Arnold he was in charge of cooking and packing the fried chickens. He told his son that he had to take care of urgent family business.

Jake appeared at his in-law’s door and caught Myrna vacuuming the house when Trini answered the doorbell. Jake marched into the house and spread his arms like Pavarotti taking applause. He blurted, Myrna, I am willing to do what it takes to get my family back.

Jake understood that he had to make concessions. That’s when he heard drumming. He thought the drum beats were in accompaniment to words and were making fun of the way he approached reconciliation. He became angry and, therefore, stopped what he had practiced and exclaimed, What is that?

Jake, it’s our high schoolers in the rear of the house. It seems that I can’t get away from noises and creatures that belong in the jungle.

Myrna, please take off your apron and let’s go have some coffee.

Since you don’t smell of chicken, I’d rather you take me to a nice place for lunch.

He didn’t know where to have lunch, but Myrna told him exactly where to take her.

At the Golf Club Restaurant, Jake proceeded to relate what he had practiced saying. He would install a shower and locker room at work so he would arrive clean and smelling like Brut cologne. He would make Arnold join the Peace Corps. He would get rid of all nondependents currently living in the yard and garage. He loved her. He loved his beautiful daughters. He didn’t need a shrink. He needed his wonderful wife and two charming girls. He wanted to make all necessary changes requested by Myrna within the next ten days.

When the ten days were up, Arnold was leaving for the Peace Corps to Ecuador, the tortoises were on their way to a zoo in Hawaii, and the tarantulas were at the City Children’s Bug Zoo. Myrna and family returned home. Jake learned to praise his wife and to shower her with the needed compliments that she earned by working to improve the behaviors and attitudes of her family.

One day, when Jake was at work and Myrna was watching TV, Myrna gave out a scream. She saw a tarantula run out from under the sofa where she was sitting. While Myrna curled up on the sofa, Sheba gently picked up the tarantula and put it in the bathtub, since the fish tanks were gone.

Wait until I see your father, Myrna growled.

Mom, please, let’s put the tarantula in the backyard and don’t say anything to Daddy. And … Mom, just don’t!

LEAVE IT TO PEDRO

All of Ralph and Pedro’s friends knew the bachelor party was going to be a raucous affair. Ralph Petrini was finally getting married after dating the same woman for three and a half years.

My suspicions for a big drunken affair were solidified because the man who was named best man was going to take charge: Pedro Jimenez. Pedro liked his booze. He was very charismatic, outlandishly predisposed, and extremely funny when he let his hair down at events such as the one being held that evening.

There were about twenty-four male friends of Ralph and Pedro at the party. The party was in the back room of an inexpensive pizzeria. As the evening progressed with pitchers of beer being consumed in quantity, Pedro began to do magic tricks and play games with anyone whom he could pick on to tease. Ralph’s bachelorhood years were a source of past speculation for Pedro’s mind. His prediction was that Ralph was on a march to becoming a nerdy bore.

As Pedro danced by himself, he was constantly at the microphone at the center table. He cracked risqué jokes in abundance and made everyone laugh at his antics. He stood on his hands, imitated women walking their husbands or dogs, and wrapped his arms around Ralph to tell him how not to be polite to Golde on his wedding night. He was hilarious and put on an admirably good one-person show to indicate bonding camaraderie. Witty one-liners popped out of his memory bank. He sang his naughty ditties and did erotic dances. He made faces to invite laughter from his beer-drinking audience.

It was difficult to get this fun-loving, motley group to think seriously about anything. Ralph was not successful in trying to express his thanks for their attendance. Just when things seem to be winding down, a big, boxed cake was brought into the room.

Immediately, Pedro jumped to his feet and pulled Ralph toward the make-believe cake. He had him pull a string, which pulled open the cover of the box. Out stepped a naked lady with a fig leaf on her head and two holes for her to see through. The lady jumped out and hugged Ralph, and Pedro roared with laughter and pretended to be a radio announcer describing the erotic shenanigans. After about three minutes of cavorting about the room in her undressed state, the escapee from the cake pulled out an overcoat from the box, put on some high heels, and left the room. Such a figure, she had, no doubt, and much better than that of Golde.

In a drunken state, Pedro later confessed that the naked lady was a woman he was currently dating. He wanted the group not to make disparaging remarks or he would punch them in the mouth. Everyone was amazed at such a confession, and no one did say anything about the naked lady who highlighted the evening of misbehavior by all.

The wedding was that Saturday at a synagogue. Pedro couldn’t figure out why Ralph was marrying a Jewish lady and why a life-long Roman Catholic was lighting candles at a Jewish place of worship. Ralph had somewhat hinted to Pedro that Golde’s maiden aunt, who raised her, insisted that she be married at the family synagogue. Ralph also told Pedro that he had met Golde’s maiden aunt, and she was not friendly.

According to Golde, her auntie would eventually get over the fact that Ralph wasn’t Jewish. In the meantime, the very rich aunt remained hostile and leery of the couple’s chances for a lasting family relationship. Golde’s aunt was her mother’s sister. She had had guardianship because Golde’s mother ran off to Italy with an Italian gigolo when Golde was only five years old. So, for nineteen years, Golde was influenced by her aunt’s ideas and strict values concerning acceptable behavior.

Ralph didn’t hit it off with the aunt because she thought that he was not a suitable match for beautiful Golde. Love was the factor that dominated all previous protocols. During times in which Golde and Ralph were not together, Ralph confided in his best friend, Pedro, about the problem that Golde’s aunt currently presented.

Ralph had no desire to focus on the aunt’s money or any expectancy about Golde continuing to be dominated by her aunt after they married. He did, however, commit to having a Jewish wedding and to raise the children in the Jewish faith.

On Saturday, Pedro stood shoulder to shoulder with Ralph, his great Italian friend. He presented him with his wedding ring and performed his part with the breaking of glasses and lighting of candles. The wedding went on without a hitch.

At the reception, the bar was open, and Pedro copiously drank vodka as if it was bottled water. His antics, loud back slapping, and the way he ordered the band members to play Latin music were totally getting under the skin of the perturbed aunt. Pedro was without a care, even when the aunt continued to scowl at him. He remained cognizant of the sneers and bad faces the aunt made because of his inappropriate behavior. She was also condescending and was overheard to say, Who let that bad-mannered Mexican into this gathering? Surely, if Ralph has a friend like that Pedro man, he must be a bird who has the same feathers. An annulment by Golde is sure to follow this gross stupidity.

While Pedro and the now properly dressed Irene controlled the band members and danced to Latin music, he went to the microphone numerous times to encourage everyone to drink and toast the newlyweds. With every announcement, the rich aunt suffered in total pain. In fact, Pedro deliberately went to her and whispered these words into her ear: Is your corset too tight? Why be so pissed off? Be happy.

She told him, Get out of my sight, you ruffian. Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?

The aunt was totally annoyed. She counseled herself not to give Golde a piece of her mind about the savage who was the groom’s best man. After all, the wedding would soon be over, and she could begin the recovery process. Pedro did pick up on the glares and heavy breathing that engaged the perturbed woman who sat at the head table. Whether it was the effects of the vodka or just low-class behavior was of no importance.

The reception was spoiled for the aunt. With the audacity of an out-of-control best man, Pedro went up to the head table and asked, Has anyone seen this trick that I learned in India?

He then pretended to unzip the front of his trousers and skillfully released a mechanical wound-up mouse on the head table. Through practice or good luck, the mechanical mouse quickly moved upon the tabletop until it hit the great aunt’s cake plate and ricocheted onto her spacious lap.

Logic failed, and magic prevailed, and the result was that the aunt felt sexually threatened by what seemed like a piece of the savage’s penis assaulting her. Immediately, she gave a hard push on the table in order to continue to claim pride in her state of chastity. Her push was so forceful that the folding chair collapsed, and she managed to scream as she felt herself catapulted onto her back. There she was, entangled with her chair, her long dress above her waist, and very white thighs on display.

That was the final straw! She used an expletive that she never ever had uttered aloud in anyone’s presence. With great promptness, she was rescued, untangled, and escorted to the ladies’ room by several of her female friends. While her head was bent into her hands, and her loud cries of total humiliation overpowered everything else at the party, Ralph thought he had better get Pedro and Irene out of the building and out of sight. He asked them to leave and in a low voice said to Pedro, Thanks.

Ralph then said, I want that mouse. Please hand it over.

Pedro did, and Ralph placed it in his pocket after first kissing it.

Although Golde cried because of what had happened to her aunt, the finale to the reception was accomplished. The newlyweds left to go to their secret destination.

Some of what Ralph had formulated in advance with his cohort friend needed to be discussed with Golde. He hoped that he would be able to get the idea that had gelled in his mind: things don’t always adhere to a plan. Life goes on, no matter what, and things work out serendipitously. Some setbacks can result in new opportunities when turned upside down or inside out.

What Ralph didn’t think he should confide to Golde was that he was glad the aunt was not going to meddle when their children would be born, or in the number of children they should have. When it was time to give closure to their blissful day, the newlyweds were happy and in love with each other. They didn’t take their problems to the life that was ahead.

The two of them left to their new life. Golde never suspected that the helpful mouse was in her husband’s pocket.

CAN YOU BELIEVE

THAT IT WAS LAWRENCE?

Amy dressed maidenly and, together with her eccentricities, appeared to most onlookers to be about twenty years over her real age. She married a year out of high school and helped put her husband through graduate school.

Four years after her marriage, she divorced. The reason given was that her husband became an officer in the army and was assigned overseas where his language skills were in demand. She knew herself well enough that she did not want to live in the contrasting cultures native to countries in the Middle East.

Amy’s sister, Sara, came to live with her. She, too, had divorced and had no children. The two sisters were compatible and good company for each other. Sara was a court stenographer, and Amy was now retired from her elementary school teacher position.

Sara continued to remain in the world of work, and Amy was content to stay at home and enjoy her house in a small town. Amy had time to do the shopping and guide the social activities they took part in from time to time. She knew the grocer, butcher, shoemaker, department store clerks, and most of her neighbors.

While it was not a perfect life for the sisters, life was comfortable and happy. The two sisters had bonded with each other and treated each other with respect and kindness. They knew each other well and accepted each other for who they had become. They were not shy and had no secrets or embarrassing acts or thoughts that they guarded from surfacing.

Sara mitigated her sister’s strange habit of talking to a non-existing dog. The fact that every third day, she brought soup bones from Mr. Chung’s meat market to put into a dog dish didn’t bother her since it was a harmless eccentricity. Sara and Amy had discussed the fact that no dog was on their premises and only existed in Amy’s imagination. Amy stopped defending herself from Sara’s opinion that she had a childish obsession that she had never lost. Amy just kept quiet about her belief that there was a dog in the backyard and at Amy’s side when she went out.

Amy agreed that she didn’t have to tell other people the specifics of her owning a dog. On the other hand, Sara merely woke up first every morning and cleaned the dog dish and threw out its water. Amy did tell Mr. Chung she needed his spare bones for her dog. He didn’t see anything strange in his many years of parting with bones and scraps of unsalable meat for Amy’s guaranteed pickup every third day. Once in a while, Mr. Chung made general inquiries, such as, Is your dog happy with the bones that it receives? Other times, he asked if her dog was any trouble for her. Amy just smiled at Mr. Chung and said that everything was just fine.

One day, the kitchen sink plugged up, and the water did not go down the drain. Amy called a plumber, and the plumbing problem was fixed. Because of the time spent waiting for the plumber and getting the sink to function, Amy was late taking her