Unconnected: Discovering the Connection That Will Change Your Life

By David O. Bullock

Do you ever feel like something is missing in your life? Have you ever wondered where things went wrong or how you got off track with your hopes and dreams? Are you plagued by questions for which there seem to be no answers? Do you feel a disconnect between the life you always wanted and your life as it is?

Unconnected takes you on a journey through some amazing stories of incredible life change. These people discovered the connection that turned their lives completely around. Each story begins as a tragic tale of hopelessness and despair, but ends in triumph and the true joy of living life to the full.

You can learn the difference the connection can make in your own life. Author David Bullock describes in detail the steps you need to take on your own journey to connection. Be forewarned that he believes everyone needs to laugh at least once a day, so dont be surprised if his style occasionally leaves you laughing out loud. At other times you may find yourself crying as you read stories filled with struggle and heartbreak. You may even find that you can personally identify with some of them. In the end, you may understand how you too can escape the unconnected life and enter into a beautiful new world of connection. Do you want that? If so, then take this journey. Unconnected may have been written just for you!

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 21, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490832135

David O. Bullock

David Bullock is the founding pastor of Eagle Heights Church in Somerset, Kentucky. He lives in Somerset with his wife, Glenda. They have two daughters and five grandchildren. David grew up on a chicken farm caring for ten thousand chickens, but since the age of twenty, he has committed his life to seeing the lives of other people transformed by the power of Jesus Christ.

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Copyright © 2014 David O. Bullock.

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Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™ All rights reserved.

Some Scripture quotations in this publication are from The Message. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-3212-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-3211-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-3213-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014905779

WestBow Press rev. date: 04/18/2014

CONTENTS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

PREFACE

INTRODUCTION

PART 1: On the Outside Looking Out

1.   Disconnection Direction

2.   Characteristics of Un-Connectedness

3.   Alone at Wits End

4.   Clueless in Camp Town

5.   The Alcatraz of Addiction

6.   Uneasy on Easy Street

7.   Helplessly Headed Into a Hurricane

PART 2: On the Outside Looking In

8.   At the Top of the World

9.   Moving On Up

10.   From the Rock to the ROCK

11.   The Big U-Turn

12.   Faith for a Fearless Future

PART 3: Moving in a Connection Direction

13.   Connection Detection

14.   A Blip on Your Radar Screen

15.   Hope on the Horizon

16.   Making a Connection Decision

17.   Motivated to Take Action

18.   The Moment of Connection

19.   Connection Changes Everything

PART 4: On the Inside…Finally

20.   Home Sweet Home

21.   Peace at Last

22.   Vitally Connected

Notes

About the Author

To Kambry, Kye, Kodi, Jayce and Tyson: my

grandchildren. You are the joy of my life. I pray that you

may know the joy of the connection in your lives.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

A special thanks to all the people who allowed me to tell their stories in this book. It is my hope that the paths they traveled on the road to connection may assist you in your own journey. Nothing would make them happier than for you to get connected too.

To the people at Eagle Heights Church: thank you for being excited about connecting unconnected people for 17 years.

To Joe and Karen Rayl: I could never thank you enough for providing me with the perfect place to complete the writing of this book. You are dear friends and I love you very much.

To the leaders and workers of Celebrate Recovery at Eagle Heights Church: thank you for loving people unconditionally and seeking to bring life change to everyone you can.

To my wife for loving her husband and my daughters for loving their daddy: I love, I live, I write because of you. You are the loves of my life.

To my parents, brother and sisters: thank you for supporting your son and little brother. And thank you for not writing all the stories from childhood that you could tell about me!

To you, the reader: thank you for reading my book. I wrote so you may experience the connection that has made such a wonderful difference in my life. I pray that for you as you read.

Most of all, to Jesus: thank you for connecting with me on that night 44 years ago. That connection is even more real and special to me today. You are truly AWESOME!

PREFACE

An Invitation to Connection

"The Hole, Isolation, Solitary Confinement, whatever you want to call it. That’s where Lynn found himself. Where did it all go so wrong? How had he ended up here? Not that long ago he was the man traveling the world, always with money, lots of money, in his pocket. The drugs he sold funded his lavish lifestyle, and the highs he experienced only drove him on in search of more and even greater highs. But on this day it all sank in on him. Something was missing. He needed answers but answers seemed nowhere to be found. Hopelessness and despair sought to claw at his mind like sharp talons seeking to pull him into a black hole from which there was no escape. But on that day, at that moment, Lynn determined that he would find a future beyond what he could see within the confines of that little room with its cold, gray walls.

We will get back to Lynn’s story later, but for now, as we begin, let’s talk about you, or maybe someone close to you. Maybe you can identify with Lynn. It may not be prison walls that you or they are facing, but the despair and desperation are just as real. You too feel that something is missing. You feel disconnect between the hopes and dreams you once had and what is now reality in your life. But there is still something inside you that longs to get back on track with your dreams. If that is you, I invite you to come with me for a journey on the road to connection. You don’t have to stay unconnected to your hopes and dreams. Real connection, real life, a real future is just around the corner, if you are brave enough to reach out and claim it! Will you do it?

INTRODUCTION

The Journey

Don’t ever shy away from the journey. If you or someone you know needs to get connected, the journey is worth taking. Journeys can be frightening, even intimidating. But the exhilaration is a part of the thrill! Maybe you have ridden a roller coaster or even gone skydiving. You know the thrill that comes from jumping into the unknown. My wife, Glenda, and I took a journey into the unknown in 2011 that was filled with hope and anticipation, but also smelled of impossibility and thoughts of why are we doing this? The chances of anything coming from it were slim to none. But had we not taken it, you would likely not be reading this book right now.

I had written my first book: Born To Fly: Learning To Soar Like An Eagle Even When You Feel Like A Chicken. (If you haven’t read it, I highly suggest that you head out and pick up a copy as soon as possible.) The writing was finished in December, 2010. But now I was faced with the question of what to do next. Even though I felt so certain that I was meant to write the book, I had no clue how to get it published. So, I waited. January and February came and went with me working hard as a pastor, but all the while sitting there with a manuscript and no idea what to do with it. I believed strongly in the book and knew it would help people who read it, but had no clue how to get it into their hands.

Finally, I decided to make a call or two, which proved to be of little help, intensifying my uncertainty that much more. Then one day I clicked on the website of a well-known publishing company. Their suggestion was to attend a Christian Writers Conference. And the top one in their order of priority was the Write His Answer conference. (I highly recommend it if you are a new Christian author who desires to be published.) It meets twice each year, and the next meeting was in Colorado in May, 2011. I sensed immediately that this was a journey I needed to take. You may know what that is like: my pulse quickened, my palms grew sweaty, and I was just plain excited! And to get me even more excited, as we waited in a Motel room the night before flying out of Nashville, Tennessee I checked the weather app on my phone for Estes Park, Colorado. The first words I saw were Winter Storm Warning. Now, anyone who knows me knows how much I love snow. I mean…I LOVE snow! When the weatherman forecasts snow for our hometown of Somerset, Kentucky, I sometimes sit up all night just to watch the snow falling underneath the lights. I get excited! And to make things even better, the next day as we made the drive from Denver to Estes Park the rain turned to huge flakes of snow resulting in a 6-inch blanket of white by the time we arrived at our destination. Remember, this was May 11. We don’t get a lot of snow on May 11 in Kentucky. (I recall an 18-inch snow on April 3 one year, but May 11? It just doesn’t happen.) I was ecstatic and felt more certain than ever that this trip was planned by God just for me. I realize most people don’t think that way, but I tend to see God at work in the little things of life. If we only look for Him in the big things, we miss so much.

From that moment on, this trip seemed to have God’s hand all over it. Another little thing came later that evening. When registration for the conference was delayed due to weather-related issues, I waited along with hundreds of others for it to begin. I stepped outside to call Glenda who was in our room at the lodge where we were staying. I may be in line for an hour waiting to get registered, I told her. Then when I walked back in I saw that there were some ladies at the registration table. It was 15 minutes prior to the new time. One of them looked at me and asked quietly, Would you like to register? We’re ready and need to get a few people through. I said sure, walked up to the table and was handed my packet. No line. No waiting. 6 inches of snow! This was almost too good to be true. And when I opened my packet I discovered something else: because I had registered just one week before the conference, I was only supposed to have two appointments to pitch my book to agents, editors, and publishers. After I stared at the page for a couple of minutes, I called Glenda again and said, I have five appointments! This conference was off to an unbelievable start and the best was yet to come. But we were reminded over and over that we did not come to the conference to get published. That just does not happen, they said. A billion to one odds, I heard once. But you see, in my way of thinking, nothing is too big for God. I have seen far too many miracles to ever give up hope.

After some great worship and very informative sessions, I had my first two meetings which were okay at best. Nothing spectacular, but there was potential, I suppose. Then came fifteen minutes I will never forget as long as I live. Just as before, I had the name of an editor and the publishing company she represented. It was just another appointment, right? Just pitch your book and hope to get an ask for a send (an invitation to send your book proposal for consideration). If you have read Born To Fly, you remember that two of my favorite words from the Bible are But God…

From the moment I sat down with that wonderful lady, this appointment was different. I forgot all about my pitch and just started talking (something I do pretty well). In fact, talking is one of my specialties. I am a full-blown extrovert who can, as we like to say in Kentucky, talk to a fence post. (I can do that, but I really don’t. Well, at least most of the time.) I told her about our church and our two-part vision statement: Connecting Unconnected People to Jesus and Transforming Lives to Transform the World. And then that but God… moment happened! I still get chills when I think about it. She stopped me and said she believed her purpose for being at the conference was just to meet me. Then she asked for a copy of my book proposal. That was something I had been told does NOT happen. As I handed it to her, I told her I also had a copy of the entire manuscript on CD, if she was interested, and she asked if she could also have it. Of course, I said yes and handed it to her. She said she would read it that night. Glenda and I then had the pleasure of sitting with her at dinner that evening and she was off to read my book and let me know the next morning what she thought. How well do you think I slept that night?

The next morning came and I went into the auditorium to attend a Question and Answer session with a panel made up of agents, editors, and publishers. The editor caught my eye and mouthed, Don’t leave. I have to talk to you. I can’t tell you the thoughts that were going through my mind. When the Q & A ended, I went down and finally came face-to-face with her, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. Her first words were, Thanks for keeping me up all night! Then she went on to tell me how she could not stop reading Born To Fly and how she laughed and cried all the way through it. (Didn’t I tell you that you need to run out and get a copy?) Then came more words that I will never forget: she said, When I get back to my office, I want to send you a contract immediately. I’m not sure if I appeared calm on the outside, but on the inside I was laughing and crying, running and jumping, turning somersaults, and dancing! (If you had seen me dance, you would know why that part happened on the inside.) This was why I had come to Colorado. It was one of the greatest moments of my life! Now Born To Fly has been released and has changed the lives of many people who have read it. But that connection with an incredible lady to whom I will forever be grateful could not have happened apart from the one connection that made it possible. I often say to couples during their weddings, You believe you did not meet by chance. You believe God directed you to be in the same place at the same time, and that it was God’s Will that helped you find each other. A lot of people believe it is all about who you know in life. I believe that too. I not only believe there is one who can direct your moves and put you where you need to be at just the right times, but I have experienced that personally at several specific and crucial times. I have been led to appointments I could not afford to miss. In this book, you will read about others who got connected and experienced incredible things in their lives too. If you are willing to learn more about that, come with me on the journey to connection. Come on…you’re not afraid are you? Your journey begins now.

PART ONE

On the Outside Looking Out

The stories you are about to read in the first part of this book are about people who were as unconnected as any person could possibly be. And what’s more, they weren’t even looking to get connected. They were on the outside looking out. None of them was even taking a peek at the inside. Connection was the farthest thing from their minds as they spiraled deeper and deeper into un-connectedness. Some of their stories are graphic so reader discretion may be advised. Most will warrant a PG-13 rating at worst, but a couple may be rated R. Not to fear; I will give you fair warning in advance. Some names have been changed to protect identities. Others want their names to be known, as they are anxious to have their stories told in a public forum so they may help others. As you read, you will sense the hopelessness that accompanies the unconnected state. But later you will read how each of these stories moved from tragedy to triumph. Please do yourself a favor and resist the temptation to skip ahead and try to discover the good parts in advance. You will get so much more out of this book if you read straight through to get the whole story. Now, if you’re ready, jump on board and let’s head on the journey together. Before we get to those stories, we need to first gain an understanding of how un-connectedness happens and what it is like. In order to do that, we have to discuss the disconnection direction which we all face and in which we all move at some time in our lives. You’ll see later that it came for every person you will read about beginning in chapter three. And you will likely remember it in your own life too. Let’s take an in-depth look at the disconnection direction before we move on.

1

Disconnection Direction

Life has a tendency to steer us in the direction of disconnection: away from the kind of life we dreamed of having; away from peace and happiness; toward things we would never choose for ourselves, if given the choice. In nautical terminology, the term lee refers to the side