A Second Cup O' Kapeng Barako: Collections of My Best and Most-Hated Writings

By Jesse Jose

This book leaves out the likelihood that many readers of Jesse Jose also like the way he writes. My Best and Most-Hated are both extremes. Where best lies is where many of his admirers are; those who smile at every wry comment he makes whenever he finds reason to do so, which is hardly rare.

Most-hated would be a welcome avenue for those seeking to vent their dislike and contempt for this man who commands a big following in online media for all his irreverent commentaries. Bounding the most hated into a volume with the best provides a balance, an insight.

And it is in that balance where we see the man behind the bottomless cups of Kapeng Barako. The stuff he writes about are fairly everyday occurrence. It is in how he writes about them that generates the loudest whispers and the hateful screams. His commentaries aside, Mr. Kapeng Barako is a pleasant guy who is wedged between the best and the hated,
easily likable.

The book should be a good way to while the time, especially when one cant make up who to like and who to hate; what to like and what to scorn. The book should provide the answer to that dilemma.


Romy Marquez,
Toronto, Canada-based journalist,
Poet and Author

This book is worth reading because of the author's unique style of writing ... that a reader is constantly mesmerized regardless of what subject is being told or critiqued. And it doesn't matter whether a reader agrees or disagrees with the author's take on the subject or issue, because it is cleverly written that there is no room between the words to be misunderstood or bored. In the end, the satisfied reader walks away with a smile.

-- Ray Burdeos
Galveston, Texas





The advent of the computer era makes everybody think they can write and opine on everything. Many get the urge, very few are capable. Jesse Jose is capable and adroit in presenting his views on a wide range of topics ... they are meaningful, relevant and cogent. I like the passion and the fire in his columns and the way he tempers his heat with humor.

-- "Doc Lee" Lagda
Cypress, California

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 6, 2014
• ISBN: 9781483660967

Jesse Jose

Jesse Jose is a retired US Navy chief journalist and a former deputy sheriff for the Martin County Sheriff’s Office in Florida. He has written for several military and civilian publications, including the Stars and Stripes, Navy Times, All Hands, and other AP/UPI-oriented civilian newspapers all over the country. He has also written and edited the Dolphin, the Submarine Base newspaper in Groton, Connecticut, and the Camp John Hay Newsletter in Baguio City, Philippines

Book preview

A Second Cup O’

Kapeng Barako

Collections of my Best and

Most-Hated Writings

Jesse Jose

Copyright © 2014 by Jesse Jose.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Rev. date: 01/29/2014

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris LLC

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

540082

Contents

Acknowledgement

Author’s Note

Prologue

PART ONE

The Muslim Terrorist-Brothers of the Boston Marathon were also America’s Palamunins

Shedding Tears for those Murdered Children at Sandy Hook Elementary School in CT

On Guns and Gun Nuts

Women Going Into Combat? That’s a Stupid Idea!

WHEN… It Didn’t Matter

Doc Lee and Me: Two Veterans, Two Opposing Views

On Filipino Laughter, a Catholic Dyok, and the Real Reason Obama Won as president… again

WalMart Cashier says, No Good, No Good, to Disabled Veterans and Retired Military ID Cards

It’s Obama, One More Time of Four More Years

The David Petraeus Love Affair: An Affair to Remember, or An Affair to forget, thus to cover up, the Benghazi murders

Coming to America: A Speech by a Vietnamese Immigrant

A German’s View on Islam

The Cardinal Who Will Be The Next Pope? Heavens Forbid!

Jesuit Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina Becomes Rome’s Pope Francis

How shall we call the Motherland? Pinas or PH? My Take…

FLIP and Pinoy: Are These Words Racial Slurs for Filipinos? A Conversation with LOLO Bobby

President Oh-Bah-Ma’s Second-Term Inauguration: My Take? Oh, Mama!

Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear the Anger of an Angry American

Yesterday, I Was Angry at IRS, But Today, I Laughed at the Obama Monkey joke

Rambling and Joking… and a Good Catholic Joke

PART TWO

Did Jose Rizal Plagiarize Alexandre Dumas’ Novel, The Count Of Monte Cristo?

Miss Philippines, Venus Raj, Wins Title of Miss Little Perfect at Miss Universe Pageant

Conviction of Chief Justice Da Thief Renato Corona: Lutong Makaw!

My Take on Philippines’ Miss Shamcey Supsup: From Toast of the Town to Talk of the Town

Who Should Be the Philippines’ Foremost National Hero: Dr. Jose Rizal or Andres Bonifacio?

An Open Letter on the Diphthong Debate

My Take on Jessica Sanchez’s Second Place Win on American Idol

Responses from my story on Referendum 74, the Catholic Church’s Inquisition of Gays and Lesbians

Referendum 74: The Catholic Church’s Present Day Inquisition of Gays and Lesbians in Washington State

A Pact with the Devil, named Salvahey2

The Entitlement Mentality of America is Disturbing and Unfair to its Warriors and its Veterans

The American Legion Opposes the DREAM Act—It’s a Dream for Illegals, a Nightmare for America’s Children

My Take on Jose Antonio Vargas, the Filipino TNT Pulitzer Prize Winner

The Trayvon Martin Tragedy: Is it a Racial Killing?

Sanford, Florida: a Memory of Palm City, Florida

Badmouthing our Holy Family Church? Did I, Really?

Bulag at Bogok Daw Ako, Ewan Ko

The Noose Tightens on Jose Antonio Vargas, the Pulitzer Prize Winning TNT Journalist

The Killing of Osama Bin Laden, my take

Donald Trump, the Carnival Barker

The War in Libya: Obama’s Unconstitutional War Against a Muslim Nation

The Debt Limit, A Done Deal! And, It Sucks!

US Navy Veteran Wields Cudgel Against Abusive VA Hospital Staff

Is Sarah Palin an Irreversible Idiot in Reversing Paul Revere’s Ride?

A Tribute to Elizabeth Taylor: An Ingénue, a Female Fatale, a Grand Old Dame, a Legend

A Short Take on Moammar Gadhafi… and Comments on Moses and the Presidency

Marcos and Mubarak are Two of a Kind. Is History Repeating Itself?

Bears and Seahawks… and Eunuchs: A Prelude to the Super Bowl

From an Ugly War of Words to Words of Poetic Beauty

On Pakyaw and the Eagle Feather of Truth

On Pakyaw, Miss Raj, Bristol… And On My Ripe Old Age

A Friend Named Gerry, a Church Choir, a Carrot, an Egg, and a Cup of Coffee

The Voice of Memorial Day, an Ode to America’s Fallen Warriors

Why Do Filipinos Talk About the Kho-Halili Sex Video Instead of Foreign Pedophiles, the Abortion Doctors and the Arroyo Corruption Scandals?

PART THREE

Echoes from The Little Prince: a Secret, a Love story, a Celebration

An Inspirational speech by my son Chris, Denver’s Fox News/KWGN Reporter at NaFFAA’s Filipiniana

Sister Grace Marie Takes her Final Vows; Becomes a Bride of Christ Jesus

Remembering Inay’s Pinakbet and Mongo, and Happy Moments with my Siblings

A Character Sketch: That’s Jonathan. He’s my Son!

A Prayer, a Letter, a Laughter, and the Irish Priest and a cop

Me, a Little Brown American? Brown, yes, but not, little

Epilogue

An Encounter With Racism: A Chapter from my Autobiographical Novel, Unfinished and Untitled Yet

PHOTO%2003.jpg

For Bam and Hon

Do you know what morals are? They’re other people’s rules. Do you know what a conscience is? Freedom to use your intelligence to determine what is right or wrong. You possess that freedom and no one can remove it from you. Whenever others disapprove of you, disregard them and be the only one to judge your own decisions and actions…

Amy Tan

The Valley of Amazement

Acknowledgement

I wish to thank, first of all, Bobby Reyes, the publisher/editor of the online publication, www.mabuhayradio.com for publishing all my Kapeng Barako stories without fear, unfettered and un-censored. Other Fil-Am publishers have feared publishing many of my stories, for I tell it like it is. LOLO Bobby, as I call him, believes in FREE SPEECH and that every journalist must have the unbridled freedom to express his or her opinions, without fear… and censorship. Thus this book’s subtitle is: Collections of my Best and Most-Hated-Writings. Of course, there are some stories of mine here that are also pleasing and pleasant to read, but it’s few and far between.

I also wish to convey my thanks to Ray Burdeos, an author of several books, for planting the idea in my head that I should also put together my own book, since I already have all the tools, to write one, and for telling me that the words, most-hated writings within the title of this book, would surely attract the attention of readers.

My heartfelt thanks also to my dear friend and colleague, Romy Marquez, who is himself, a FEARLESS journalist, for all his positive comments on many stories I have written, no matter how hateful they were. Last, but not least, to Doc Lee Lagda, a prolific writer in his own right, for saying that my opinions on people, events and things much resemble some of his.

May I also mention Annie, a Film and Fine Arts international student from China, now attending Green River Community College of Auburn, Washington, for doing the sketch of the coffee cup that adorns the frontcover of this book. Annie’s Chinese name is Jiajin Song.

And, to Mary Flores of Xlibris for diligently downloading some of my stories from the mabuhayradio web site of LOLO Bobby. Without her help, this book would not have come to fruition.

—Jesse Jose

Author’s Note

This book is a sequel to my first book, A Cup O’ Kapeng Barako, Collections of my Best and Most-Hated Writings. And I thought that would the first and last of that book.

But when friends and comrades and fellow Barakos wrote back of their approvals and encouraging comments, I said to myself, "Hmmm, maybe I’ll put together a sequel. The laughing must continue. The show must go on . . . ." Thus, A Second Cup O’ Kapeng Barako, with same subtitle, became the name of this book. Here are some of their comments, verbatim and en toto:

From Romy Marquez:

Pareng Jesse . . . It’s my lucky day. I got treasures from the mail . . . two books (a hardbound and a paperbound) and something else for the bottomless cups of your brew.

I’ve just started reading it and jumping from chapter to chapter. Quietly, I said to myself, this guy’s got it made! Yes, the master swordsman just join the ranks of book authors. Congratulations, Pare. It’s a handsome volume.

From David Orolfo:

Brother Jesse . . . Your book was delivered a couple of days ago. I started to peruse a few pages and I can’t possibly put it down. The wife commented, That must be a serious book. I said, It’s getting to be. She said, Seeing that silly grin on your face, it must be.

Here’s my take on your book: "Outstanding . . . your incisive and perceptive satires cut through the hypocrisies in our society. A social conscience, humorous at times, salty but laced with unadulterated honesty.

Ma-anghang, it bites nicely. I will not be surprised at the storm this book will stir up, standby for the barrages. Congratulations. I love it.

From Ed Navarra:

Estimado JJ . . . I received your book. I will read it slowly and will donate it afterwards to the Philippine American Community Center of Michigan (PACCM) Library. So, future generations of Pinoys will have a peek at our generation’s humor and sarcasm . . . what with your no-holds-barred kind of writing they will probably be laughing their asses off (LTFAO)!!! Hehehe.

From Tante Saludares:

Manong . . . I am a loyal reader of your Kapeng Barako column. Reading again through some of your stories left me once more in stitches of laughter. You always find humor in the everyday events of life.

From Ray Burdeos:

Jesse . . . You are now an author. Congratulations . . . .

A few others have also commented of their appreciation and enjoyment in perusing the contents of my first book. You look distinguished, one said of my photo that was on the back cover of the book. Many others kept quiet, probably seething with hate and envy for the success and acceptance of my first book… as a Book.

This sequel, once again, is not merely about my opinions on politics. It’s also about my take on current events, and my Barako thoughts on people and mundane things that provoked and affected me personally. It also contains conversations with cyberspace friends, who I have yet to meet in person. Some of these conversations were heated and hated, but some were also tender and kind.

But beneath them all, laughter abounds. For I primarily write my Kapeng Barako columns for fun… meant only to be read by friends and comrades, and fellow Barakos. If at times, my jokes get corny or my Filipino English gets atrocious, well… it’s all part of the fun of writing the Barako way.

—Jesse Jose

Prologue

Some of my mainstream readers have asked: What is a Kapeng Barako? I said the word, Kape is coffee, and the two letters, ng right after the word, means of. And the word, Barako, is coffee grown and made only in the Philippines. It’s a potent brew, with a distinct and strong flavor. It also means, macho man. Y’all get my drift, Dear Readers?

I broke the stories collected in this book into three parts:

Part One are stories between the time of the Boston Marathon Bombing and of President Obama winning the presidency for the second time.

Part Two consists of some of my most-hated stories that were missed in the extraction of my stories from the MabuhayRadio website of LOLO Bobby for the publication of the first book.

Part Three are special stories that I wrote about people dear to my heart. For there comes a time when you realize that everything is a dream and only those things preserved in writing have any possibilities of being real. I quoted those profound words from James Salter’s book, All That Is.

Happy reading, Dear Readers. JJ

PART ONE

"Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your . . . intense obsession mercilessly."

—Franz Kafka

The Muslim Terrorist-Brothers of the Boston Marathon were also America’s Palamunins

A s the plot thickens, it sickens: I’ve used that lead sentence before in one of my a previous stories, but I think it also applies in this story. For it not only sickens me, but it furiously angers me, and I hit the roof when I heard about it.

Yeah, when I learned that the Tsarnaev brothers, Tamerlan and Dzhokhar, the Muslim bombers terrorists of the Boston marathon and their parents and families were WELFARE recipients, who benefited over more than $100,000 in American taxpayers’ money, ranging from cash, food stamps and free housing, for over a decade, since arriving into this country… I said WTF!!!

Yeah, only in America! Palamunin na nga, terorista pa! For reasons that are perhaps characteristics of my untamed nature, I cursed all Muslims.

YEAH! From what I understand, these two Russian terrorists’ educational expenses at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) were also shouldered by you and me, Dear Readers, us, the taxpayers of this country.

Yeah, I cursed again and again, until I was hoarse from cursing at these people, who I perceive as my adopted country’s most vile and cowardly enemies.

And… as y’all know, too, the older brother, Tamerlan, 26, was killed in a shoot-out with police, but the younger brother, Dzhokhar, 19, escaped but was hunted down and a few days later was captured alive, hiding in a parked boat in somebody’s yard.

Now, Dzhokhar, being a naturalized U.S. citizen has been given all the rights of a citizen, and according to news reports, a top defense lawyer and one of the EXPENSIVE one in America had been assigned to defend this Muslim scum. And who’s gonna shoulder this expense? Again, who else but you and me? We, the American taxpayers, Dear Readers.

Yeah, how outrageous naman!

My voice is so hoarse now from cursing, but one more time I gave it a real big one at the unfairness of it all. Because, you see, America is so stingy in giving disabled wartime veterans of Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan, their earned benefits, YET so generous with immigrant PALAMUNINS of America.

Yeah, WTF!!!

A CONVERSATION WITH LOLO BOBBY: Perhaps my curses here in Seattle, Wa. where I am at, were uttered so loud and clear that LOLO Bobby, the editor/publisher of my Kapeng Barako stories, heard them all the way in West Covina, California, where he’s at, that…

BOBBY SAID:

Ka Jesse, we cannot commit false generalization, as not all Muslims are bad in the same manner that not all Catholics or even Fundamentalist Christians are good and exemplary… . As writers of op-ed pieces, you and I and other columnists must exercise objectivity. Because that is what our profession is all about.

I answered:

For the enemies of America whose one vow and chant is Death to America and all Americans, I only have a single objectivity" on the matter: Hate and death to them, too.

To me, they’re like pit bulls. Their demeanors might be gentle and meek and exemplary," but when jihad calls on them, they become fearless, en masse killers of Americans."

BOBBY’S REPLY:

We all must live in peace with our neighbors irrespective of race and creed or political orientation under a system of law and order. However, citizens have to be vigilant and report to law enforcement agencies threats against society or community and let the law take its proper course. Vigilantes break also the law and they cause harm than good.

MY ANSWER TO LOLO BOBBY:

"I live in peace with my neighbors in the neighborhood where I live, and it’s an upscale neighborhood, where the majority are whites. But I don’t think I would be able to live in peace in a neighborhood full of Muslims. Because that would be like living among the enemies of my adopted country, who I see as pit bulls.

To HATE and to distrust the dormant enemies of America is NOT being a ‘vigilante’ by your definition of vigilante. It’s the Muslims living among us in this country… because of their belief in the teachings of Ah-Mad-in-the Head, who are the vigilantes" in this country, silent, yet ready to kill and harm innocent Americans in their jihad.

"Typical example are these two Russian Muslims brothers, the bombers in the Boston Marathon, who were living peacefully kuno among Americans, receiving all the good PALAMUNIN benefits that America generously gives, yet when Ah-Mad’s jihad called on them, they killed and maimed these same people, who have welcomed them into this land and took good care of them.

"Many other Muslims, who have lived peacefully kuno in this county have done that, too. I don’t have the details at hand, but another one that comes to mind is that Fort Hood U.S. Army officer, a doctor/psychiatrist, who when Ah-Mad called on him to perform his jihad, went on a rampage and killed and maimed several of his fellow soldiers inside that military post. Surely you’ve heard of that.

"You probably have heard, too, of those Muslim terrorists, who went on a jihad and killed U.S. Army recruiters in Little Rock, Arkansas. And of the killings of Salvation Army members and several other killings of innocent people by Muslim snipers… here on American soil!

Topping the list, of course, is the 9/11 attack in New York.

THE LIST GOES ON, LOLO BOBBY. AND THIS LIST WILL KEEP ON GETTING LONGER… AND LONGER, I AM SURE! Yes indeed, you’re right, we have to be vigilant on Muslim vigilantes, the PIT BULLS among us, the silent ‘exemplary’ enemies of America… .

This is where my conversation with LOLO Bobby ended, and where my untamed cursing got exhausted, but not my untamed anger, for that will forever remain.

SIDE COMMENTS FROM BROTHER DAVE: From the sidelines, these comments from David Orolfo flashed before my computer screen. I call him Brother Dave, because he’s fellow knight of the world-wide fraternity, Knights of Columbus. I also consider Brother Dave a comrade, as he’s is a military retiree like me, retired as a Chief Warrant Officer in the U.S. Coast Guard. He’s now in his eighties. This is what he said:

"Bro. Jesse, I agree with your comments. One has to experience dealing with Muslims. I had on many occasions as Senior Park Ranger for Northern Virginia… .

"‘Infidels’ is the word that they use to call their enemies, and that is us, Christians. These two perpetrators in Boston are on social welfare, on the dole from the state of Massachusetts. Do you by any stretch of the imagination expect them to be grateful and behave as upstanding citizens?

I was in Tawi-Tawi, Sulu in 1950 as a member of the Naval Engineering Team that surveyed the Turtle Islands for the Philippine government and those Moros consider us, Christian Filipinos, as ‘Infidels.’

Dear Readers, that’s all. JJ

Shedding Tears for those Murdered Children

at Sandy Hook Elementary School in CT

I , too, shed my tears.

I shed a tear for Emilie, age six.

I shed a tear for Olivia, age six.

I shed a tear for Jessica, age six

I shed tears for Jack, Noah and Dylan, ages six and seven.

The list of names goes on and on. Twenty of them, ages six and seven.

I also shed tears for the six educators of these children. And for the grief of their parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters and friends.

I also shed tears for the community of Newtown, Ct. where the school is located… and for America.

Ten days before Christmas, twenty-seven innocent lives were taken… murdered ruthlessly, senselessly inside the school by a mentally ill gun nut.

Our hearts are broken, President Obama said on national television, adding that his first reaction, when he learned about it, was not as president, but as a parent. I know there is not a parent in America who does not feel the same overwhelming grief that I do.

He called the children killed, beautiful little kids.

All children are beautiful, may I add.

They had their entire lives ahead of them… birthdays, graduations, wedding, kids of their own, Obama continued, tearing up as he uttered those words.

And, as I listened, I, too, teared up with him.

My children are now all grown up, bigger, taller and smarter than me. But when I learned of this carnage, I remembered them as children. And that made me shed more tears.

And, as I read more stories about this mass shootings of children and their teachers, I shed more tears.

And as I write this, yes, I am shedding tears. Because even though I don’t know these kids, I have known kids… my own kids. And all kids are beautiful and precious.

A SEETHING ANGER: What followed after my tears had dried, was a seething anger.

Anger at the shooter.

Anger at gun nuts.

Anger at the Second Amendment.

Anger at the National Rifle Association (NRA), for encouraging America to own guns and for endorsing the unrestricted right to own guns… any kind of guns, automatic guns, handguns, powerful rifles, assault military-style weapons for mass killings. Weapons, perfect weapons they are in the battlefield… but perfect, too, for mass shootings, for mass murders of innocent people, gathered in shopping malls, in movie theaters, in churches and temples… and inside kindergarten classrooms.

These guns nuts reasoned that we need to arm ourselves so we can protect ourselves from criminals. But do we need battlefield weapons for that? I think only morons have that kind of reasoning.

Yes, to me, gun nuts are morons and cowards, hiding behind their stash of mass-killing weapons!

BAN THE NRA & WEAPONS OF MASS KILLINGS: In past mass shootings, had anybody shot back at any of those mass killers? When that joker shooter went on a rampage inside that movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, surely there were a few people inside that theater who had concealed weapons on them, but did anybody shoot back at that crazy gun nut shooter?

And at Columbine and Virginia Tech… you’ve all heard of those shootings, right? Did anybody shoot back at those crazed shooters, while they went on a rampage?

Also, it’s not really the so-called criminals, who do mass killings. It’s usually the mentally ill, with access to weapons of mass killings…

Weapons that the NRA believe and endorse that anyone in America can own. Because they—literally and wrongly—believe in the antiquated Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. An amendment that was promulgated in the old, old days when all patriotic Americans have to be armed, so as to be able to defend themselves from the attacking Brits, who were then America’s enemy.

Those days are long over.

It’s time to amend the Second Amendment. It’s time to ban weapons of mass killings. It’s also time to ban the NRA! To prevent mass killings, we need to cut off the ownership of mass-killing machines.

FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES: Let’s take our minds off from this horrific tragedy for a moment by offering this dyok to y’all. Perhaps some of you had read it before. It’s so funny, I think. Especially, the ending sentence. It’s a dyok that’s true that I howled with true, roaring laughter.

And I assure you, Dear Readers, that to read it again is worth your time, for you’ll also be howling with laughter, the woes of the shootings forgotten for a moment. It was sent to me by a cyberspace friend, named Nestor Palugod Enriquez, who also writes a column. From what I understand, this little dyok appeared under several names. But I’ve re-named it, From the Mouths of Babes. Here it is:

The teacher said, Let’s begin by reviewing some American History. Who said, ‘Give me liberty, or give me death?’

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan,