So! You Wanna Be a Police Officer, Eh?

By Robin Bailey

If You Are Interested Enough To Read This Book Of True Experiences By A Career Victorian (Australia) Police Officer, By The End Of It, You Will Be Clawing To Become A Police Officer, Totally Turned Off, Or If You Are Currently a Police Officer, Wondering!

When Armageddon arrives, if you are or have been a police officer, I know what you will be doing . . . running at it!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Jul 8, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499001655

Robin Bailey

Robin Leslie Bailey was born on 10 January 1947 at East Melbourne. As he walked through his early life it became obvious that school was just a place to have fun and play sport, and at secondary school you can add girls, but he passed everything without any problems. In what was to be his final year in Year 12 (Intermediate in those days) after tackling his history teacher, a Mr Hotten, after he caught the teacher spying up girls’ dresses with a dentist’s mirror stuck in his shoe and later caught him having sex with a goat at the back of the Sandringham tennis courts, he decided to get a job. His parents were disappointed, but within five years he had completed a degree in Cost Accounting and was employed as a cost accountant with a very good wage for his age and experience; however, he badly wanted to be a police officer. At twenty-two years of age, he joined Victoria Police, and after almost twenty-nine years of service he had achieved the following: • Rapid promotion through to chief inspector when he retired early; • Attained a degree in business in 1990; • Was dux of the Sub Officers (Sergeants) Course, dux of Detective Training School and dux of Advanced Detective Training School. He had a fascination with criminal law and criminals. • He received six Chief Commissioner’s commendations (most police would be delighted with one)—‘Professionalism’, 100 Robin Bailey ‘leadership’, ‘investigative skills’, ‘perseverance’, and ‘dedication’ were mentioned in many of them. • If an investigation was political, difficult, and complex or the Victoria Police needed someone to address internal issues, he was almost always the one that the commissioners turned to. • In the last twelve years of his career, he almost always reported directly to commissioner level with the usual administration management in the middle, but often not required. • On various occasions he was asked to personally attend police command meetings to provide progress reports or provide ‘expert advice’. • All of this was done efficiently despite the fact that due to his overseas posting with the Australian police with the United Nations during a full-scale war, being the closest person to the Russell Street bombing and having a contract on his life which was almost carried out.

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Almost twenty-nine years in ‘the job’ with the Victoria Police in Melbourne, Australia—over 100 dead bodies, probably double that in domestic arguments, dealing with the shit of society on a daily basis, involvement as a police secondee in a full-scale invasion for twelve months with the United Nations, closest person to the Russell Street bombing, and so it goes on.

This is the first of a number of biographies from me and small group of career police officers in Victoria. Most of us have long since retired.

Many other experienced police officers could write what you are about to read; some have, but most will not. If they did write their story we would have many, many similarities. I don’t care if anyone reads this book; I am doing it for me and my kids and grandkids, etc., so they know exactly who and what Dad (Pa) experienced and why he was like he was during his life. If people do read it and I get some royalties, I will be delighted as I am not well-heeled, probably owing to my police experiences, a divorce, alcohol dependence and post-traumatic stress disorder. This bio is a mere ‘snapshot’ of twenty-nine years in the job, and I have tried to keep it short, honest, and readable.

I do not intend to research exact dates (though I do have some copies of my diary notes and will use them when I can), times, or some people’s identities where it might get me into trouble, or I get it wrong because I can’t bloody remember, but everything I express in this story is true! And it is not all doom and gloom, far from it. Some of the true stories are bizarre, surreal, or very bloody funny.

It might sound a little self-indulgent at times, but I was very upwardly mobile, achieving a senior rank and receiving some serious accolades on the way through. However, I can recall often travelling to and from work and blowing into a brown paper bag because I was hyperventilating and having panic attacks. Get to the job, cool, calm, collected, and ‘in charge’.

Do not get me wrong; I loved every minute of it. The adrenalin rush, the challenge, the mind games with some of the most vicious criminals, brilliant fraudsters, and clever lawyers—I loved it all!

I was also blessed to have known and worked for the most brilliant Chief Commissioner of Police in Australian history—Sinclair Imrie Miller! If he were a footy coach, the police force—under his command—would win premierships every year!

I was also fortunate to work closely with other commissioners, including Chief Commissioner Murray (Neil) Comrie, Deputy Commissioner John Frame; and Assistant Commissioners Gavin Brown (Dec) and Raymond Neil Shuey. They were fine leaders.

As I write this bio, Chief Commissioner Ken Lay has been in office for about fourteen months, and he is doing a superb job in resurrecting the Victoria Police after two diabolical interstate appointments.

THE POLICE TRAINING

‘DEPOT’ AKA ACADEMY

When I joined the police ‘depot’ aka academy in 1968, it was situated just off St Kilda Road where the police stables were also co-located.

I was about twenty-two, but I had seen a lot of life, leaving an excellent job as a cost accountant to join the police academy. I was talked into joining the job by Frank Holland and Barry Clowes whom I used to drink with somewhere in Glenhuntly (Bowling Club?). These gentlemen were very well known by the oldies, particularly Frank who was a famous homicide investigator.

I was married, so I lived out of the depot most of the time, but when you lived in it, it was bullying at the highest level. I still make our bed as soon as I wake up as, if there was a crease in the wrong spot at the ‘depot’, you received penalty (demerit) points! I was also in the Citizens Military Forces at this time, so I had no other option; everything had to be perfect. Shiny boots, short back and sides, uniform perfect.

My first experience of ‘bullying’ was whilst I was performing my early morning ‘duties’. The resident officer in charge of the depot was (I think) a superintendent by the name of Davies. He was known as ‘Pig Davies’. He approached me one morning and told me that there was some dog shit on his lawn, and he wanted me to remove it. I informed him that I would get a shovel. He retorted that I was to use my bare hands. I dutifully did so as he walked off, and I carefully placed it on the mat at the entrance to his residence.

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. . . I carefully placed it on the mat at the entrance to his residence

I think I finished about seventh in a double-headed squad of forty odd recruits, but I ended up with more ‘demerit’ points than most.

I loved the camaraderie, the drill, the hard exercise, and learning how to be a police officer. Our law instructor was Ken Evendon, a fantastic bloke, who I still see very occasionally, but he kept adding to my demerit points as I was a serial practical joker. I recall that we were about to have a classroom practical exercise where some ‘blokes’ would enter the room wearing masks and carrying starting pistols and fire some shots, and we would have to write an exact description of what happened in those few seconds.

I got wind of what was coming and happened to be able to get my own starting pistol. Hilarious. More demerits!

As part of our training we had to learn how to do ‘traffic management’, where we would be positioned at major city intersections under the watchful eye of the training sergeants.

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I got wind of what was coming and happened to be able to get my own starting pistol

I was at the intersection of Swanston and Flinders Street, working with the traffic lights when I looked at my sergeant and waved at him. Then I was gone! I jumped on the running board of a passing tram as it passed by me much to the delight of my colleagues who were watching. More demerits!

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I jumped on the running board of a passing tram as it passed by me much to the delight of my colleagues

Back in these early days, the ‘fitness and discipline regime’ was unbelievable, but it was the foundation of producing tough-minded, unwavering policing, something that unfortunately appears to be lacking in today’s environment. I acknowledge that society is now vastly different, and this is from where we draw our current police