Alpha B*Tch: A Cinderella Story

By Sarah Ann Murphy

This memoir tells the brutally honest story of how author Sarah Ann Murphy learned to overcome serious depression and a failure-to-thrive childhood. She begins with her birth and traces her childhood with an Irish, alcoholic mother who abandoned her emotionally. As a child, her existence was barely tolerated by her Old Mother; birthdays were not acknowledged or celebrated at all. As she recounts the ups and downsmostly downsof her growing up years, she comes to the realization that the best times were with her animals.

She learned to thrive because her animals taught her that she was lovable and gave her a different perspective on life. This in turn gave her that spark that set her on the path to developing a strong backbone and a moral corestrengths she would need later with her abusive husband, who treated her much the same as her mother had. As she began to grow into her own personsomeone who could love and be lovedshe took the steps with her analyst to overcome serious depression and a failure-to-thrive childhood.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: May 15, 2013
• ISBN: 9781475988864

Sarah Ann Murphy

Sarah Ann Murphy is brutally honest as she describes her bleak childhood and the path that she took to become the woman she is today. Alpha B*tch: A Cinderella Story traces her long journey to find and accept herself.

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Copyright © 2006, 2013 by Sarah Ann Murphy

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2013907965

ISBN: 978-1-4759-8884-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4759-8886-4 (e)

iUniverse rev. date: 05/10/2013

Contents

Dedication

Alpha B*tch – A Cinderella Story

Project Narcissism

Epilogue

Dedication

To:

Aunt Jean

Your help, though limited by your early death,

is still appreciated.

Thank you.

Alpha B*tch – A Cinderella Story

By Sarah Ann Murphy

In other words, one woman’s journey through the patriarchy

It was not until my 60’s that I began to understand, only somewhat, why Old Mother hated me. I now understand that in some ways she was a victim of patriarchal culture, although she did not stand up to it – she just gave in. In so doing, she cast an evil net over my brother and me. She probably had tremendous guilt over the things she did, which contributed to her depression and drinking, as she did not live up to those patriarchal standards.

First let me give you some background into Old Mother’s upbringing. She was born in Boston in 1898. Her father worked for a very prominent politician, who cheated him out of his paycheck, which forced him to go to work for the city of Boston. Whatever the job was, I do not know, but he was required to ride a horse. Wherein the horse shied; grandfather fell off; got a concussion and died three days later. So my grandmother took my aunt, age 4, and Old Mother, age 2, and returned to Ireland, where she remarried and had four more children.

Ireland was not divided then, but the area she was from is now part of Northern Ireland, and as Catholics they were looked down upon, because that part of Ireland is mostly Protestant. Indeed, The Troubles, as it is so-called now is a type of tribal warfare, as they have never integrated the two religions into society. This is partly the reason why Old Mother was as she was. Plus, they were just emerging from the Victorian Era, where everything was repressed, be it sex or any honest human emotion. My family simply did not discuss emotions. They simply acted out of rote.

I was born in 1939, to an alcoholic mother. (At the time she was pregnant with me she was told she had a tumor, which is why, I assume, she did not abort me.) By the time most of us are in our 40’s we have a history of accomplishments, hopefully, most of them good. In Old Mother’s case, because she had the Irish charm and people were drawn in by it, she could appear to the outside world that she was a loving, accomplished mother. Unfortunately, my brother and I knew better. People frequently told me how lucky I was to have her as a mother. I soon learned that they did not want to know the truth, so I