Like Shattered Glass...: Autopsy of a Human Soul

By ShellyBeenz

the autopsy of a human soul
No parent should have to bury a child. It is the greatest loss a human being can experience. And it happens all too often. The toll that such a loss exacts is terrible. Most marriages dont survive. Mimis didnt. After nine years, she remains in therapy. There is no end in sight. And that is but half the story, half the tragedy.

The birth of her first child, Jessie Marie, in 1996 changed Mimis life forever. Hers had been a hard road and Jessies arrival brought sunshine and blue skies to a life that had too often been cloudy and grey. More than ever before, the future looked bright! For a while

On Halloween night of 2003, everything changed. Mimi stood and watched helplessly as the doctors fought desperately to hold on to Jessie. But it was too little; it was too late. Jessie quietly slipped away at 1:21am. She was gone. So was the sunshine.

But suffocating grief could not stifle Michelles need to know: WHY? And the answers just werent coming. Mimi began to dig, and eventually she learned the appalling truth: Jessies doctors hadnt done what they were asked to do, and theyd lied about it. Jessie was dead because of negligence, and incompetence. And nobody would be held accountable.

Along with hundreds of other parents, Californias MICRA law would keep Mimi from having her day in court. Her epic struggle to expose the injustice of MICRA would win Mimi the CAOCs Consumer Advocate of the Year award (the Erin Brockovich Award) for 2005.

The poetry of Like Shattered Glass tells a story. It is a hearts-eye-view of the anguish and torture that a mother endures. If you have experienced such a loss, this book will show you that someone else really does understand. Like Shattered Glass is nothing less than the autopsy of a human soul.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: May 23, 2013
• ISBN: 9781452567556

ShellyBeenz

A native Californian, Shelly Beenz spent her school years in Montana. She returned to California after college, and it was in California that she met and married her first husband and started a family. It was also in California that she lost her first-born, her daughter, Jessie, to medical negligence and was then confronted with the evil of MICRA. Shelly Beenz returned to Montana in 2007. Today, Shelly Beenz resides in northwest Montana with her two sons, her new husband and their daughter. She is a full time Mommy, a dedicated activist for medical malpractice victims’ rights and is currently working on her next book. www.likeshatteredglass.com

Book preview

Like

Shattered

Glass…

autopsy of a human soul

ShellyBeenz

BalboaLogoBCDARKBW.ai

Copyright © 2013 ShellyBeenz.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-6754-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-6756-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-6755-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013905139

Balboa Press rev. date: 5/21/2013

Contents

Forward

Sunday, December 21, 2003 5:40 PM

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 10:16 AM

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 10:54AM

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 3:22 PM

Wednesday, October 20, 2004 6:49PM

Thursday, October 21, 2004 9:05 AM

Thursday, October 21, 2004 12:40PM

Thursday, October 21 2004 1:40PM

Friday, October 22, 2004 12:00 PM

Saturday, October 23, 2004 1: 54 PM

Sunday, October 24, 2004 9:30 PM

Wednesday, November 3, 2004 12:55PM

Wednesday, November 3, 2004 9:39 PM

Thursday, November 4, 2004 9:46 AM

Sunday, November 4, 2004 11:03 AM

Thursday, November 4, 2004 7:18 PM

Friday, November 5, 2004 9:15AM

Friday, November 05, 2004 11:13 AM

Monday, November 8, 2004 2:39 PM

Tuesday, November 9, 2004 3:37 PM

Wednesday, November 10, 2004 3:28PM

Friday, November 12, 2004 2:15 PM

Sunday, November 14, 2004 4:40 PM

Sunday, November 14, 2004 6:56PM

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 8:23 PM

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 9:51PM

Wednesday, November 24, 2004 9:08 AM

Monday, November 29, 2004 6:23 PM

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 6:19 PM

Monday, December 6, 2004 9:20 PM

Wednesday, December 8, 2004 6:09 AM

Sunday, December 12, 2004 6:38 AM

Sunday, December 12, 2004 10:00 PM

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 10:54 PM

Saturday, December 18, 2004 8:21AM

Sunday, December 19,2004 6:27 AM

Tuesday, December 21, 2004 4:42 AM

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 8:10AM

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Monday, December 27, 2004 1:54PM

Tuesday, December 28, 2004 7:55 PM

Thursday, December 30, 2004 3:33PM

Saturday, January 1, 2005 10:52 AM

Monday, January 3, 2005 5:48PM

Tuesday, January 4, 2005 10:21PM

Thursday, January 20, 2005 10:05 AM

Thursday, January 27, 2005 9:37 AM

Friday, January 28, 2005 6:15 PM

February 3, 2005 5:56 PM

Sunday, February 13, 2005 PM

Tuesday, February 15, 2005 9:15 PM

Wednesday, February,16 2005 6:55 PM

Wednesday, February 16, 2005 10:34 PM

Tuesday, February 22, 2005 8:24 PM

February 23, 2005 7:14 PM

Saturday, March 5, 2005 2:25 PM

Monday, March 7, 2005 8:07 PM

Tuesday, March 8, 2005 9:03 PM

Thursday, March 10, 2005 1:56 PM

Friday, March 11, 2005 11:58 PM

Friday, April 1, 2005 10:54 AM

Saturday, April 2, 2005 11:10 AM

Monday, April 4, 2005 4:54 PM

Monday, April 4, 2005 8:55 PM

Tuesday, April 5, 2005 9:03 PM

Friday, April 15, 2005 9:13 AM

Sunday, April 17, 2005 7:44 PM

Tuesday, April 19, 2005 PM

April 20, 2005 5:54 PM

Saturday, April 30, 2005 7:37 PM

Friday, May 6, 2005 4:32PM

Saturday, May 7, 2005 12:54PM

Monday, May 9, 2005 10:23AM

Thursday, May 26, 2005 5:33PM

June 8, 2005 7:14PM

June 28, 2005 9:54 AM

Tuesday, July 5, 2005 7:09PM

Sunday, July 17, 2005 8:55PM

Monday, August 8, 2005 10:34AM

Tuesday, August 30, 2005 9:31PM

Friday, September 30, 2005 2:16PM

Monday, November 14, 2005

December 9, 2005 6:48PM

Forward

By John Massey

Like Shattered Glass… is a collection of poetry, and it is more than that, much more than that. It is a psychological and emotional memoir. It tells the story of a life.

No one gets through life unscarred, but some people collect more scars than others. Before she was old enough to vote Mimi’s had experienced more trauma than most people endure in a lifetime. And her suffering had only just begun.

Born into a family history rich with mental disorders, Mimi began life with a heavy enough burden. It would get much heavier. Her father had serious anger control issues. Her mother was a convenient target. Before she was half way through elementary school Mimi was already refereeing her parents fights. They were so engrossed with their own dysfunction that they failed to see the warning signs when Mimi’s molestation began. They remained blind as it continued for months. The bed wetting and acting out never caught their attention as their eight-year-old daughter was repeatedly raped and abused. Like most young victims, she did not tell. She carried the secret with her, feeling dirty, guilty and responsible. The trauma would haunt her for decades. It affected every relationship she had, every aspect of her life. A very special sort of miracle would be necessary to free Mimi of that burden.

As a teenager and young adult Mimi wished for only one thing: a family of her own. She wanted the chance to live a normal life, to raise a family where her children would be loved and protected from the isolation and evil that had dominated her youth and stolen her innocence. But like so many victims of the kind of abuse she suffered, Mimi battled her demons in her daily life. As a teenager she was a remarkable athlete, a real over-achiever, but she was also sexually active at an early age, sometimes with the most inappropriate partners.

In college she discovered alcohol and, again typical of molestation survivors, began to drink alcoholically and engage in some very promiscuous behavior. She became an obsessively meticulous worker while she was entrenched in a violent and mutually destructive relationship. She was a study in contradictions: bi-polar, alcoholic and sexually obsessed; she was also an anally overachieving athlete with dreams of a white knight and a white picket fence.

She eventually found her way to AA and sobriety. She married her best friend. Then, with the birth of her daughter Jessie on September 23rd, 1996, all her dreams came true. Her every prayer had been answered. She didn’t think it possible to be any happier. But as her family grew and their financial situation improved beyond her grandest dreams Mimi knew happiness and fulfillment that exceeded her wildest expectations.

She really was happy, truly happy, for the first time in her life. And that happiness might have lasted forever, except that babies become toddlers and toddlers become little girls. And the monsters like little girls. The monsters prefer little girls. The monsters devour little girls. Mimi knew, and she wouldn’t let that happen to Jessie. She just couldn’t. And all those memories came flooding back.