The Devil Made Me Do It: Short Stories

By Donald Ray Goodman

The Devil Made Me Do It is a collection of biographical anecdotes that highlight mostly humorous moments in the life of a born Hoosier and his network of friends and family. It is not a book written for the masses but rather a scrapbook of narratives that will appeal to those with a taste for honest humor and mostly benign real life mischief of the seemingly well-adjusted neighbor next door. The Devil Made Me Do It will also appeal to local historians and folklorists of the Hoosier state, and particularly those of Monroe and Owen Counties, with its personal narratives that offer glimpses into the post-war life of the region through the eyes of a native.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jan 21, 2013
• ISBN: 9781475961072

Donald Ray Goodman

Storyteller and personal folklorist, Donald (Don) Goodman, grew up a native Hoosier after the Second World War. He is the father of three children - a psychiatric nurse, an English teacher, and a graduate student training in social psychology - and grandfather of eight grandchildren. He has lived his entire life in Monroe and Owen Counties. Don retired from the U.S. Postal Service after 37 years of dedicated service. As a storyteller, Don shares whimsical real life anecdotes of growing up Hoosier. Being Hoosier means many things, for Don it has meant being a Boy Scout, life long Indiana Hoosiers fan, a marathon runner, a judoka, and a power parachute pilot, among many other roles.

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Copyright © 2013 by Donald Ray Goodman

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-4759-6106-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4759-6107-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012921078

iUniverse rev. date: 1/17/2013

Table of Contents

Foreword

My Mother Was a Psychic Who Foretold the Future

Who Needs Enemies When You Have a Brother Like Me?

Not Poor, Just Less Fortunate

The Awkward Picnic

How the Boy Scouts Gave Me a Passion for Indiana Basketball—and Were Sort of Responsible for Me Learning to Kiss Girls

Be Careful What You Wish For

How I Got in Trouble for Getting an A+ on My Report Card

Please Tell Me That Is Not Your Car

How I Owned the Car of My Dreams—for One Hour

Harmony in the Workplace

The Wreck of the Hesperus

Who You Gonna Call? Ghostbusters!

Am I Going Too Fast?

Gary Gets Confused

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Too Close for Comfort

Marylin’s Revenge

Pooch in a Pouch

The Only Good Snake Is a Dead Snake

Yep, He Needs to See a Specialist

The Devil Made Me Do It

Part of the Brotherhood

Hey, Mister, You’re Going the Wrong Way

Easy—I Cheated

Don Goes Ape

Ten More Feet and I Would Have Made the Runway

Kim’s Ironman Triathlon

Dedication

To my friend William (Bud) Pavey, may he rest in peace.

To my friend Robert (Mitzu) Stanton, may he rest in peace.

To my parents, Thurman and Helen Goodman,

may they rest in peace.

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Foreword

My father, Donald Goodman, has always been a storyteller. When I was seven, Dad began driving me twice a week to judo practice; these trips from Spencer, Indiana, to Bloomington continued until I was fourteen. We would drive through the old neighborhood where my father grew up, and over the years, Dad was never short of a story from his past.

Although he was an avid reader, it was a bit of surprise to me that my father undertook the project of writing down some of these stories. It all began last Christmas, when my sister, Dawn, enrolled him in a writing class; from that point on, Dad began keeping a scrapbook. My wife is a graphic designer for Author Solutions, and for Dad’s seventy-third birthday, we presented him with a publishing package. Authors often begin with the dream of writing a book or publishing a collection; my father is just a storyteller, with a fond memory for shenanigans, who just happened to be obliged by the gifts of a writing class and a publishing package.

The Devil Made Me Do It is a collection of biographical anecdotes