Please Remember My Name…At My Funeral: And Bring Some Chocolate Chip Cookies with You

By Fred Zobel

How would you like to be remembered at your funeral or memorial service? Perhaps you don't care although that's hard to believe. Would you care if the officiating person even mentions your name or anything about a few personal accomplishments or family relationships?
As an emloyee of a funeral home following retirement from the United Methodist Church, the author witnessed numerous funeral services led by various clergy persons of different faith groups. Some services were well thought out and brought hope and healing to surviving persons. However, a number of those services indicated the opposite--services that were lethargic and impersonal by officiants who hardly mentioned a word about the deceased person including their name. It was almost as though the deceased person barely entered or exited their life's journey without any impact. The title of the book comes from some of those reflections while employed at the funeral home.
The first part of the book provides some insights about funeral services, reflections on grief practices and cultural mores, and the raising of several issues that challenge a sometimes impersonal, pernicious, and apathethic clergy as to how grief ministry is provided. The book also provides several examples of outstanding clergy care and pastoral support during times of mourning. The second part of the book contains a few humorous thoughts on several
practical issues that he has
encountered. The book concludes
with thoughts about the nomadic and
traveling lifestyle that he and his wife
have enjoyed for the last six years.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jan 25, 2012
• ISBN: 9781468534863

Fred Zobel

The author is a retired Navy Chaplain and United Methodist minister. While serving in the Navy and civilian churches, he officiated at or assisted other clergy with numerous funeral/memorial services. Following retirement from the ministry, he worked as a non clergy employee of a funeral home and witnessed multi services from a different perspective. While employed, the author began to seriously formulate ideas about this book, particularly from the viewpoint of a clergyman observing how we view grief as a society, and how clergy provide grief ministry. The author has been married for almost 50 years to his wife, Mary, and they have three loving, passionate, independent minded, and loyal daughters. Their daughters are married to sons in law who are loved, and even liked, by the author and his wife and, hopefully, the feeling is mutual. They have been blessed with eight grandchildren. The author was born and raised in Pensacola, Florida and educated at Pensacola Jr. College, Troy University(B.S. in Psychology), and Candler School of Theology, Emory University(Master of Divinity). Under the Navy's Postgraduate program, he attended Iliff School of Theology attaining a Master of Arts in Religion degree with an emphasis in Ethics and Church and Society. The year of study awakened him to the exciting and dynamic world of ethics and how it relates to society as a whole. He will always view the professors at Iliff with gratitude for their challenges and guidance. Both the author and his sister, Jane, have always shared a love of travel and adventure. Fortunately, they've been able to accomplish both, and continue to do so today. He closes his pastoral prayers with thanks for his favorite food, Chocolate Chip cookies.

Book preview

PLEASE REMEMBER

MY NAME…  AT MY FUNERAL

and bring some Chocolate Chip

cookies with you

Fred Zobel

US%26UKLogoB%26Wnew.ai

AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2012 by Fred Zobel. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 01/20/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4685-3488-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-3487-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-3486-3 (ebk)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011963444

Printed in the United States of America

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Foreword

Chapter 1

The 8 Minute Quickie

Chapter 2

Love—It’s A Four Letter Word

Chapter 3

Being In A Room With A 600 Pound Gorilla… And The Exit Doors Are Locked

Chapter 4

The Wonder of Support

Chapter 5

Doing Good Funerals

Chapter 6

A Wheel Came Off An 18 Wheeler

Chapter 7

Hug A Funeral Director

Chapter 8

Osama bin Laden

Chapter 9

A Great Day At Indy

Chapter 10

Celebrating A Life, And Mourning A Loss

Chapter 11

Rest In Peace

Chapter 12

Oklahoma City-Bless the Children

Chapter 13

Making Life And Death Decisions

Chapter 14

Ignoring Bridges

Chapter 15

"Really Being Somebody Other

Than Just A Celebrity"

Chapter 16

"An Expensive Dinner Date And

A 50 Cent Bottle of Wine"

Chapter 17

The Nomadic Lifestyle

Chapter 18

Being A Nomad—Don’t Procrastinate

Chapter 19

Buying And Keeping An RV

Chapter 20

The Demise of Driver’s Ed 101

Chapter 21

Motorcycle Fantasies

Acknowledgements

Notes

Dedicated to

Mary and our daughters and their husbands,

Donna and Clarke Colombo

Debra and Kevin Agre

Deana and Gary Irvin

And our grandchildren,

Heath, Brittany, Chris, Clarke Jr., Mitchell, Nicholas, Dylan and Kyle

I can imagine a no more rewarding career,

and any man who may be asked in this century

what he did to make his life worthwhile,

I think can respond with a good deal

of pride and satisfaction:

I served in the United States Navy.

President John F. Kennedy

United States Naval Academy

August 1963

Foreword

My Dad died in 1970 after a year long battle with colon cancer. He was a very spiritual person, religious in service, and always involved in United Methodist churches. At his funeral on Christmas Eve, the ministers were eloquent and personal in their eulogies. I’ll always remember several quotes from that service. One quote was, Fred is now with his Christ at Christmas. Another statement made that day, Fred was a gentle man and a Christian gentleman. Those words were so true—he was a humble and gentle man. I’ve grown to more deeply appreciate and treasure those words, and my father, through the years since his passing. A duet also blessed us at the service with a beautiful rendering of the Christmas song, Oh Holy Night. I still approach Christmas Eve with joy, awe, celebration, and a touch of sadness that the dad who was a loving husband and father is not alive to talk to, hug, play golf with, and engage in other relational activities enjoyed by a father and son.

My mother died unexpectedly in December of 1995 of congestive heart failure. Her funeral was not as late in the month of December as my Dad’s service. The minister who led her funeral service was also eloquent and personal. One of his quotes was, Wini was always out front, leading the pack. So true! She was a woman ahead of her time in that, as a young woman, she badly wanted to drive a race car. Of course, that fantasy during her young adult era was not only frivolous, but also considered anti-feminine, if not downright anti-Christian. Who knows, in a later day she might have been a forerunner of Danica Patrick. Go Girl!

My sister, Jane, and I were blessed with a superb childhood. Both parents were committed to each other, and to our welfare. They loved us as deeply as two parents could and