Truth Be Told: A Foster Child's Recolletion

By Tashima Dukes

With a mother in and out of her life, and eight possible men being her father, Tashima Dukes was forced to grow up without any “real” parents. Even so, Psalms 27:10 says, “When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.” Take her up indeed, did the Lord, despite enduring a childhood of abuse, neglect, and instability. Remarkably, by age 22, she earned a Master’s degree, and virtually by accident, landed a job working for a foster care agency she had once been part of as a child. Truth Be Told chronicles the incredible events of a former foster child’s life, as her divine destiny unravels in extraordinary fashion.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tashima Dukes
• Release date: Feb 3, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370919031

Tashima Dukes

Dukes is a former foster child who was placed in care in both Philadelphia and California. Dukes was placed in more than 13 different foster homes before aging out of the foster care system. Today she is author of Truth Be Told: A Foster Child’s Recollection and known as a nationally recognized expert trainer for foster children, foster parents, and foster care administrators regarding some of the major problems in the foster care system from the foster child’s perspective. She has been a keynote speaker for Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) and many other local and national foster care agencies. She has more than 13 years of counseling experience with children and families in both urban and suburban environments. She holds a certification in sexual abuse counseling and grief counseling, three advanced Master’s degrees along with 110 Graduate Psychology credits towards the PhD in Psychology. In addition, she has worked extensively with orphans and vulnerable children both nationally and internationally. Dukes has appeared on the John Walsh Show on NBC, TV 48 Update with Catherine Pugh, internet radio with Dr. Bryan Post and internet radio with Pat O’brien. Likewise, Dukes has been featured in Your Powerful News, International, the Philadelphia Inquirer, Philadelphia Daily News, Gadsden Times, Gospel Praise Magazine, Booking Matters Magazine, The Pennstater, The Delta Voice (a publication of Delta Community Supports), and numerous other publications. Dukes currently provides sexual abuse counseling to women and children and resides in South Africa.

Book preview

Contents

Acknowledgments

Preface

Introduction

Part I: Story of My Life

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Part II: Poetry of My Life

Part III: Reflections of My Life

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Contact Us

Acknowledgments

Dr. B. Bryan Post

Sandra Lynn Reifsneider

Denise Faller (aka Momma D)

John Royce Hoskins, Jr.

Rachel Serene Allen

John Ogunkorode

Al Hunter, Jr.

Dr. Cheryl Oakman

Michelle Bonilla

Monica Singer

Bob Jackson

The Hinton Family

Preface

This book stems from pain that I have experienced from the time I was born up until the present. As I continually pray to God for healing of the wounds I’ve incurred over the years, He gradually restores me, and reveals truths to me about my life that empower me to press on. Truth Be Told was born amidst my journey of healing and self-discovery.

The truth is, my growing up in foster care has been too embarrassing for some of those close to me to acknowledge, as some of them live in denial about what really happened to me. One thing I have learned about denying truth is that lies multiply, and travel quickly. As I’ve come of age and uncovered more truth about my own history, I discovered that one existing myth was that my sister and I were living with friends of the family in another state. Proverbs 12:19 says the lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment. As I live, learn, and uproot these momentary lies, I am being freed by truth continually.

It took a number of years for the truth to be told. It likewise took quite some time for me to build up the courage to face the people I love, and confront them with truth. I confronted them not only for myself but also for everyone else in the world that would be encouraged by reading my story.

As I share my story of pain, abandonment, and rejection I want everyone in America to know, that as painful as every experience has been, if I had to do it all over, I wouldn’t change a thing. Every challenge and experience I’ve had to overcome, and have yet to overcome, shapes and molds me into the woman I am now, and will be in the future. Therefore, in preparation for every speaking engagement, book signing, television appearance, or the like, I have to confront my pain. I thank God for allowing me to go through various tests and trials, and for strengthening me to endure them. I’m even more thankful for Him giving me the opportunity to minister to people around the world, whose experiences mirror mine. I no longer ask God, why me? but rather, thank Him for using me.

Foreword

Children growing up in and out of our state foster care systems are not an uncommon experience. In fact, the occurrences of children being moved from place to place following the disruption of their primary care home happen at an alarming rate. In many instances such children grow up to become adults with lifelong struggles.

We as mental health professionals have failed to realize that multiple moves for children can be a traumatic experience. It is estimated that moving alone; from one place to another is one of the top three most stressful events that we experience in life. Imagine how stressful and ultimately traumatic for a child. In Truth Be Told: A Foster Child’s Recollection, Ms. Tashima Dukes speaks from the heart about her own personal foster care experience and one of which we can correlate to that of thousands of other children. In its straightforward and riveting manner this book will change the lives of teenagers caught up in the foster care system.

Ms. Dukes is proof that having a goal in mind with a firm resolve to accomplish it, can assist us in overcoming even the worst early circumstances. I am reminded of Dr. Viktor Frankl author of Man’s Search For Meaning, when he wrote, The prisoner who had lost faith in the future-his future-was doomed. With his loss of belief in the future, he also lost his spiritual hold. Like Dr. Frankl, Tashima teaches us that we must never give up, and even in the darkest, scariest basements of life, there is always hope.

—B. Bryan Post, PhD, LCSW

Post Institute for Family-Centered Therapy

Introduction

Persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me.  Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

—2 Timothy 3:11-12

I want my readers to know that for me to complete the final portion of this book was not easy. It was very difficult to confront what had been lying dormant for so many years. During the course of writing, I often found myself bound by laziness and procrastination.

On the other hand, now that the truth has been told, I want my readers to know that it was not easy when the people I love most, persecuted me for doing what God told me to do. I had to learn to walk alone, not to speak, stay off the phones, and not tell everyone my business.  One of the most important lessons I have learned, is that a bulk of the opposition you face, is going to come from those close to you.  Jesus declares that a man’s foe’s shall be they of his own household (Matthew 10:36), and likewise that a prophet is not without honor, save in his own country, and in his own house (Matthew 13:57).

It is comforting to know that I am not the only one who is not accepted by my own. In John 15:20, Jesus confirms that we are not exempt from persecution: remember the word that I said unto you, the servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you . . .

When God tells you to do something great for Him, you must get ready for trouble to come. I truly believe that as you become as Nehemiah, building walls and laying foundations for your businesses, ministries, and such, you will always have a Sanballat or a Tobiah watching you.  You must understand that they see your hard work, but will never help you. Their job is not to help you, but to destroy you and everything you have accomplished thus far.  When you see them, you will know who they are because they will send for you. They will try to distract you from fulfilling the purpose and vision that God has put inside of you.

When Sanballat, Tobiah, and Geshem send their messages and their messengers to you what are you going to say?  When they are angry with you because God is using you, what will you do? I am learning to do just as Nehemiah did. I am going to send them a message back that says, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down (Nehemiah, 6:3). In other words, I don’t care what you say or what you do; you can’t take me away from what God has assigned me to do. Additionally, as I carry out my God-given assignment, I must take on the attitude of Esther: If I perish I perish (Esther 4:16). If I die doing what God told me to do, then so be it.

I have had some experiences since the first edition of this book that made me realize that I am not only writing to free myself, but also others. The e-mails and letters I received from little girls in mental hospitals, men in prison, and people around the world, allowed me to understand that the fight is for them. No matter how many people get set free and delivered from your testimony, you will always have the naysayers who will point out to you that you can’t save everybody. I thank God for every letter I have received from people who were once bound, and have been set free and delivered from their past experiences.  I thank God for the girl who was on the verge of suicide, and decided to hold on to God’s unchanging hand.

I write to help others overcome the obstacles and the challenges they face every day with the foster care system. Revelation 12:11 says they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto death. I share my testimony to inspire others and not to put my family business in the streets or repay someone in my past that wronged me. If fact, being a writer was not something I ever planned to do.

I write not for my own glory, but to uplift and build the kingdom of God. When I was eight years old, I decided that I wanted to be a lawyer. When I entered college, that same dream still lived in my heart. I had planned out the rest of my life without God. I never thought to ask God what His plan was for my life, until just a short time before I began writing my first book.

There are times as Christians, when we pray and ask God for something; but before the prayer is answered, we have leaned to our own understanding and figured out exactly how and when God will answer the prayer. Subsequently, when God doesn’t answer the way we assumed He would, we become disappointed. I felt like this when God told me to write my story. However, He knew what I was going to be before I was born. Isaiah 44:2 says, "thus saith the Lord that made thee, and formed