The Big Idea

By Antony Archdeacon

John Penry-Hudson is a middle-aged and very successful Q.C. He has been expecting to be made a High Court Judge, but the invitation is taking a long time to arrive, and he feels frustrated. Also, his marriage has lost its magic, and his wife, Phyllis, spends more and more time staying with her elderly mother. Oneday she announces casually that she would like to spend threemonths. John resents this, although he does not actually object.

Somehow, the thought comes into his mind thatsuch a long absence would be sufficient to enable him to sellthe house and move to some far-off land before she realised what was happening, leaving the next move to her. This begins as just an amusing idea, but it quickly takes on a life of its own, and John finds himself putting it into effect with more and more determination.

John succeeds in selling up and getting away - and then the fun really starts!

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Jul 22, 2008
• ISBN: 9781477251478

Book preview

THE BIG IDEA

The idea came to him quite suddenly-and it was truly a great idea. Not that he believed for a moment that he would have the will or the nerve to carry it through, but it was a very pleasant daydream.

For the last few years, his dear wife had taken to spending time with her Mother. At first, it was a week at a time, then a few weeks. Her Mother was over eighty years old, and needed her; it might be the last opportunity; besides, while the Stockbroker Belt had its charms, and was convenient for London, she did enjoy the real countryside occasionally. He had heard all the excuses, but, at least, she had never before declared, in a voice which expected no argument on the matter, that she intended to satisfy her Mother’s need and her own enjoyment for three whole months-and that was what had given him this intriguing idea.

In three months he could sell the house-although they had discussed putting it in their joint names once or twice, he had never actually done so-and also all his investments, even the furniture, and simply disappear, with the two millions or so which it could be expected to produce. But where would he disappear to? Could he be happy on his own? As he had realised from the outset, it was, of course, only a daydream. He went to sleep, with a smile on his face, and his wife by his side.

The next day he had an important conference, when his head was too full of facts to permit any fantasies, and, the day after that, he drove his wife to the Station, and kissed her goodbye. Almost at once the absurd plan came into his mind again, and he got real pleasure from thinking about it, although still without imagining for a moment that it could ever be put into execution.

In bed that night, alone, as he would be for the next ninety nights or so, he took stock of his position. He, John Penry-Hudson, was now 58 years old. At Oxford, where he had some success in the Union, he decided that he wanted to be a barrister, and, without too much effort, was called to the Bar at the age of 23. He had married Phyllis, the daughter of a Judge, at 28, Peter being born two years later, and then David, who was now 26. He specialized in complicated taxation cases, where his meticulous attention to detail (which sometimes irritated Phyllis) and mastery of the legal points involved, gave him considerable success. At 45, he had applied to take silk, and, with Q.C. after his name, enjoyed some great years, when there was hardly ever an important case involving The Commissioners of Inland Revenue in which he did not take part.

Phyllis was, he reflected, quite proud of him then, and he wondered why it had not lasted longer. He had not told her about the invitation to call at the Lord Chancellor’s Office, where a very senior official had asked him, as usual very informally, whether he would be interested in becoming one of Her Majesty’s Judges. This was, indeed, his ultimate ambition, but, with Peter just finishing his last year at Oxford, and David (who always seemed to want to be different) about to go up to Cambridge in October, he felt that a few more high earning years would suit him better, and he had replied that he would be very honoured to be considered for such advancement, but, perhaps, preferably on attaining the age of fifty five or thereabouts. David would be twenty-three by then, and, almost certainly, completely independent.

He had continued to work as before, but came more and more frequently up against a younger man, very different from himself. While he prepared his arguments, step by step, in the greatest possible detail and with surely unanswerable logic, and, it was sometimes observed, rather unnecessary length, his new opponent sought to simplify, as well as shorten, even the most difficult cases, bringing the creation of short and sharp punch lines to something of an art, often preceded by such comments as My learned friend has made this elaborate smokescreen of complications sound so interesting that it seems almost discourteous to point out that the case is in reality quite simple. On two bitterly remembered occasions, the Judge had come down on the side of simplicity.

Then came the most poignant item of his stocktaking. Shortly before his fifty-fifth birthday, he had told his practice manager that he no longer wished to appear in Court, but to concentrate on advising in conference and writing opinions. This work was interesting and, indeed, lucrative enough, but his aim was simply to free himself from longer-term commitments, and be in a position to accept his appointment as a judge as soon as it was offered. A vacancy had occurred on the Bench, and a colleague two or three years older than himself had been elevated, which seemed fair enough. Now, however a second vacancy had been filled by a woman barrister two or three years younger, and this had surprised and hurt him. He realised, for the first time that, in leaving the cut and thrust of his daily battles in Court, he had perhaps sent the wrong signals to the Lord Chancellor; maybe also to Phyllis.

To sum up, he was a millionaire, but not a multimillionaire, a Q.C. but not a judge, had a wife whom he had always loved but who was content to spend more and more time away from him, and two sons who, having enjoyed every conceivable advantage through his efforts alone, were much closer to their Mother.

At this point in his deliberations he fell asleep. In the morning, he knew that the daydream had become a plan. At the very least, it would be immensely amusing to try to carry it out, and, if Phyllis somehow got to hear of it, and came home to frustrate it, the shock might do her a lot of good!

CHAPTER TWO

He got out of bed in the morning feeling happier than he had been for years-positively light-hearted, in fact. The sheer audacity of the idea-no, the plan-made him skip around like a young man again, and, while in the bath, he compiled a mental list of the people he had to see, in order really to go ahead. Three months should, with reasonable luck, be long enough, but there was definitely no time to be lost.

At nine o’clock he telephoned one of his clerks to confirm that he had no firm appointments that day, finished his light breakfast (he was far too excited to eat more), and drove to the office of an estate agent in a neighbouring town. It was actually a branch of a famous London firm specializing in such houses, whose advertisements figured prominently in every issue of Country Life.

He was quickly admitted into the private room of the resident partner, who offered him a cup of tea, and called him Sir, both of which were very acceptable, and confirmed that he had come to the right place.

He began by asking the agent, Mr Lancelot Purviss, for an assurance that his visit could be treated with complete confidence, as he planned to retire and move to Spain, and it was important that he should let this be known at exactly the right time, and not a moment before. The required assurance was duly given. Mr Purviss adding with a smile that it was perhaps not such a rare request as might be thought. There were quite a number of reasons why a client might want secrecy, not all of them so straightforward as impending retirement.

Looking at the photographs which Mr Penry-Hudson had brought with him, he said that he did not think it would take him long to find a buyer, as he had eleven names on his list of people wanting a good-sized house, preferably with a bit of land attached, within an hour of London, costing not more than two millions. I take it, he added, that this price would be in accordance with your expectations?

Certainly. I was hoping that you would think about one point three or one point four.

And I am hoping that, once we have viewed the property, I shall be able to advise rather more.

Excellent. Actually, although, of course, I should like the best price, there is another factor involved. I have the opportunity of buying a house in Spain, not far from Valencia, that is exactly what I want. If you had a buyer who could move quickly, I would not wish to hold out for the last thousand or two.

Every one of the eleven on my list could move as quickly as you desire. They all have the money, so, if your house is what they have been looking for (and it certainly falls within all their parameters) I think that it will be a case of the sooner the better". On second thoughts, just two of them might want to sell an existing property first, so I will leave them out of contention for the moment. I will send particulars out to them all as soon as they are prepared, and, in view of the urgency, can send a team to you tomorrow, Friday. The team will consist of one man to write up interior descriptions (who will be in charge) one to do the outside and the grounds, and a photographer. He is, of course, a specialist, and knows exactly which photographs will sell a house, but is not directly employed by us, so that his charges would have to be paid by you separately. The services of the first two would be covered by our commission-as to which, here is our standard form of instruction-agreement. In view of your professional status, you will undoubtedly read it through (which, as a matter of fact, we prefer), and I should be happy if you would do so at your leisure seated in that armchair, which I am sure you will find comfortable, and with another cup of tea, or, perhaps, you would prefer coffee?

If everything is acceptable, I will have the particulars ready for you by twelve o’clock Saturday, and wonder if you could call in then to go through them, with the photographs, and we can discuss price at the same time? They will then be in the post for the Sunday collection, and be on their breakfast tables on Monday. I expect immediate enquiries, so please consider viewing arrangements, so we can settle these on Saturday as well. Ah, your coffee. Please let me know when you are ready to discuss signing the agreement, Sir".

Nearly an hour later, Mr Penry-Hudson (who had, indeed, read every word of the document twice over, and enjoyed two cups of good coffee in the process) left the agent’s office confident that the first move of his plan was in good hands. Very satisfactory, he thought to himself as he drove home. Very satisfactory indeed. The man was clearly a genuine expert at his job, well used to houses of this calibre, understood the need for secrecy and speed, and had a full team of competent specialists at his command. He would call at the agent’s office at midday on Saturday, and would then be able to make an informed assessment of his chances-which, at the moment, looked very good.

At ten o’clock next morning, the telephone rang. He lifted it with some trepidation, fearing that it was his wife. She had not yet informed him of her safe arrival-she had always at least done that. To his pleasant surprise, however, it was the good Lancelot Purviss, to say that his team were on their way. Excellent! Within half an hour they had arrived, and with the minimum of preliminary introduction, went about their individual tasks. An hour later, their chief appeared, to make sure that everything was proceeding smoothly, and to see the place for himself. On taking his leave he said that he was confident of two things. One or other of the property-seekers he had in mind would almost certainly buy the house, and the price would be at least one and a half million. Indeed, it could be that two or three or even more of them could be interested, and would bid against each other.

Would not that cause delay, and even the possible risk that they would all pull out together, as sometimes happens in such cases?

Oh no, no, no-not if it’s done properly. I would get them all into my office at the same time, with a contract drawn up by your solicitor, and they would each write into their copy the price they were prepared to pay, and you (or myself on your behalf if you preferred) would sign, and the result would be a binding contract to buy the house and complete the purchase on a date agreed by yourself. Perhaps you would give me the name of your solicitor at this stage, and permit me to write to him to get one or two things-searches and things like that-under way? And you will probably want to have a word with him yourself, so that he hears of the matter first from you, rather than through me? I look forward to seeing you again on Saturday, Sir.

CHAPTER THREE

Mr Penry-Hudson (with whom we are now probably familiar enough to call him John) had a lot to think about. He realised that he had not been absolutely convinced that he could, or would, go through with the plan, but the confidence inspired by this top-class estate agent made him believe that he could, and the absence of even a word on the telephone from Phyllis in three days made him determined that he would.

He made an appointment with his solicitor, an old school friend who had given him briefs when he was a struggling newcomer to the Bar, and took the train to London, a taxi to the imposing office block, and a lift to the palatial offices. After sitting for about five minutes in the luxurious waiting room, declining a cup of coffee, his friend appeared in the doorway, and greeted him with genuine pleasure.

Hello, John, great to see you again. How are you?

Well, Harry, I’m pleased to say, as, one can see, are you.

Come along to my room, (adding to the receptionist) Bring two cups of coffee and biscuits or something.

They walked together along the superbly carpeted corridor, and into a large room with good natural light, and an interesting Londonscape, as they were on the sixth floor. However, the deliberate impression of almost awesome oppulence was now absent. The furniture was probably good, but so little of it could be seen under the thick cover of files, individual letters, books, notepads and other evidence of a substantial workload and a complete indifference to mere appearance, that it was impossible to be sure.

After a few courtesies, and mutual recriminations that they had not had dinner together for some months, Harry said that they really must arrange something soon, and that Barbara, who had been intending to ring Phyllis would now definitely do so, and then paused, to enable the business that was, presumably, the object of the meeting, to commence.

I’m afraid it won’t be possible to ring Phyllis-at least not at my house. She’s left me and gone back to live with her Mother.

Oh, my dear old fellow, I’m absolutely devastated. You are certainly putting on a very brave face.

So you had never noticed anything?

There was quite a long pause.

Well, Harry said, uncomfortably, We had thought it a bit odd that Phyllis seemed to be spending so much time in Yorkshire, when she has always liked London so much.

John was secretly delighted with that reply, as it made the whole thing so much easier that no long explanation was necessary.

Obviously you will tell Barbara, but please ask her not to spread it around. Actually, I do not intend to tell anybody, except on the old need to know basis, because I have decided to sell up and go to Spain. Working hard all day, as you, for one, know that I do, and then going back to an empty house, is not much fun. The boys are off my hands, and I can think of no reason why I should not enjoy some sunshine, a bit of walking in the hills, and lots of gazpacho and paella. I even like speaking Spanish. To crown it all, my dream house in my dream village is available.

John proceeded to explain that his house was in the hands of agents, from whom he would be hearing shortly, and would he please get everything ready for a quick sale.

I’ll get searches done at once-they can be done personally in a couple of days, which saves having to wait perhaps three weeks for them-there will be no problem with the Information Pack and, as we have your deeds here, the contract can be drawn up at once, so you can sell the place as soon as you like.

John decided that, everything having gone so well, with not the slightest hint of suspicion in his friend’s eyes, he would leave it at that, and let the agent explain about arrangements if it came to competition between potential buyers, and, after receiving more expressions of genuine regret, he left the office.

As it was only just after three o’clock, he called a taxi, and went to his chambers, to the great relief of his practice manager, who had been worried out of his mind by the uncharacteristic absence of the chief. There were several things needing attention of which John was able to pass some to a junior, with instructions to write him a note about them, and worked through the rest with quiet enjoyment. He had always thought how lucky he was to enjoy his work so much-except, of course, when he was beaten in Court by someone with a talent for keeping a complicated case simple!

He thought about going to his Club for dinner, and, perhaps, staying the night there if, as was probable, they had a free room, but decided that it was better to go home. It was too late to think of buying a change of clothes, and tomorrow would be Saturday, so he did not want to be in too much of a hurry for his important meeting with the agent.

On his way back in the train, he went over in his mind the things he would have to do. Matters like settling telephone accounts and other bills could be left until pretty well the last moment, but there were the stockbrokers to deal with his investments, and the auctioneers to sell the furniture, who had to be instructed. He would have to decide upon the exact day after his meeting tomorrow. Then he realised that he had almost overlooked the most important of all. He must take advice as to where to go. He had not the slightest intention of going to anywhere as easily accessable as Spain-Phyllis would be over there confronting him within a couple of days, she would undoubtedly claim half of his assets, and, while he was not doing anything actually illegal, his conduct would hardly attract much sympathy from a Court. He wanted somewhere remote, with a good climate, a stable government, and more interest in supporting its wealthier residents than giving their assets to non-resident wives. He had often acted for the Swiss Banque des Talents, which had world-wide interests and expertise. They would give him the best advice. He must go there at once.

On reaching home, he found that Harry had tried to telephone. Hoping that no unforseen snag had arisen, John returned his call.

But there was no snag. Harry had told his wife, Barbara, the whole sad story, and he had rung to say that, at least, there was no need to return in the evening to an empty house; he would always receive the warmest of welcomes from them.

John was really moved by this, and it was some minutes before he went to the microwave to see what the housekeeper, who reluctantly doubled as cook in the absence of her mistress, had left for him.

CHAPTER FOUR

John arrived at the office of Mr Purviss just before twelve, trying hard to present his usual calm and controlled appearance, while feeling more excitement than he had for many years. It was better than a case before the Lords. He was ushered into the comfortable rear office, shook hands, and sat down with a face that resembled a large question mark.

Mr Purviss’s smile was reassuring. He looked, John thought, just like an agent who had received instructions to sell a particularly desirable and valuable residence which he expected to provide a huge commission with the minimum of effort.

To answer your unspoken question, I recommend a guide price" of one point seven million. I have no doubt that most, if not all, of those on my list for a property of this type will be interested-that is to say very and seriously interested-and think it quite likely that we shall have some of them in to tender against each other, as I mentioned during your last visit. Please read carefully

-   I beg your pardon, Sir, I was forgetting who you are

-   please read these Particulars, and let me have anycomments. I do hope that you will be satisfied. I think that my team did their work very well, and I myself went through them and applied a little polish here and there. As he said this, he handed over about twenty pages of carefully typed description, interspersed with numerous photographs. They were all magnificent. How, thought John, could anyone (with the money, of course) refuse to buy this!"

He settled down on a sofa, with the cup of good coffee that had been provided to assist the task, and went line by line through the document. It was perfect, and he said so.

Mr Purviss next asked about viewing arrangements, and John wanted to know whether he had to be present all the time, to help to show people round, and, perhaps, answer the odd question.

No, was the reply, Not, that is, unless you want to be. I will come myself with every viewer-you will recall that I came with my team and had a good look round, and they have briefed me thoroughly since. (John winced invisibly at this use of the word briefed by a non-lawyer) Of course, I will only bring applicants by appointment with yourself. Which times would usually be convenient?

Actually, I was wondering whether I could give you the spare keys, so that you could have access at any time without the trouble of finding out whether I am at home or not.

That would be very convenient, and is, in fact, quite usual, although I was not intending to suggest this to you, Sir.

John handed over the spare set of keys, which he had brought with him for the purpose, congratulated Mr

Purviss for having produced such a good brochure so quickly, shook hands, and left the office, remembering, as he did so, to thank the receptionist who had made such a nice cup of coffee.

Once again, John enjoyed his drive home, thinking how smoothly matters were progressing. He knew that there were still many things to plan and carry out, and that his experience at preparing everything in the most meticulous detail would be a great asset.

It was Wednesday the first of June when the idea had first entered his head, and he assumed that it could be carried out in two months, so he made a list of every day in June and July, ready to allot even the smallest task to the first available date, to ensure that nothing would be overlooked or delayed. He then wrote in it:

The rest of his calendar was still blank, and it irked him that, with so many ideas, he could not yet estimate when the next steps could be taken. He would know more quickly once the marketing had been launched, and he knew that Purviss was not a man to waste time. Lucy, the housekeeper, must definitely be pushed out of the way for a week. The visitors on Friday had been explained away by some vague reference to insurance, but, if more people came, she would certainly