I Surrender

By Cyn Hazel

Successful writer Vashti Williams longs for romance. Unfortunately, she has given up on finding an honest man. Still heartbroken over the one man who betrayed her, Vashti has promised herself that there will be no more Nathaniels. But after she receives an assignment to travel to St. Croix to write an article on an up-and-coming male model, she suddenly realizes he is the man she had a brief affair with while vacationing in Spain five years earlier.

As her plane lands in St. Croix, Vashti has no idea that Ramn Perez is secretly still infatuated with her. Now engaged to a beautiful woman he does not love the way he should, Ramn panics when he discovers Vashti is the woman he has not been able to forget. Now he is torn between following his heart and following through with his promises to his fiance. But the lure of passion and an unforgettable love sends Ramn straight back into Vashtis arms, leaving a path of anguish and devastation for his fiance to reluctantly follow.

In this contemporary romance novel, tempers flare and hearts break all over again as Ramn and Vashti both discover the truth about family, home, and most importantly, surrendering their hearts.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jan 31, 2012
• ISBN: 9781469733319

Cyn Hazel

Requested from author

Book preview

Chapter One

Good work, Vashti! Your story made it big. Keep it up, and you’ll soon be our top journalist.

Thank you, Mr. Grant. Vashti replied, feeling like she was on top of the world. She walked out of her boss’ office, gloating because her story had made the cover page of Reality Magazine. She had worked for months on it, interviewing women between the ages of nineteen and eighty-five on What Do Women Want. She tried to allow everyone to see what women really looked for in a man. At the end of the article, Vashti wrote: The two things that women really look for in a man are honesty and romance.

As soon as she got into her office, Vashti sat down behind her mahogany desk in her brand new chair with the back massager on and began reading her article. It was at that moment that she realized how much she missed and longed for romance. She had given up on finding an honest man. To her, they never really existed—only in the eyes of a woman too caught up to see that her man was messing around. She sat in her cozy office with its brown earthy colors thinking about all the men she had been with over the years. She had been hurt too many times and wasn’t ready to go through being hurt again.

There was one specific relationship that she would never forget, though. This relationship made her lose all the faith she had in people. She promised herself that there would be no more Nathaniels.

Nathaniel, Vashti’s ex, was not the best-looking man in the world, but he had a decent heart. He never lied to her. Sometimes when she came home from work, she would be greeted with a candlelight dinner for two. He would bathe and oil her skin, kissing her everywhere from head to toe. Other times he would record her favorite daytime soap opera so that she could watch it when she got home. And sometimes, while watching the soaps, Nathaniel would massage her feet. Not to mention Saturday mornings; every Saturday morning, he prepared breakfast in bed. He even cleaned the house.

Then, about eight months into the relationship, Vashti began to see weird things showing up here and there. Things like an extra perfume bottle on her dresser or panties in the wash that she had never seen before. When she asked him where these things came from, he would tell her that it was a gift he bought for her earlier that day. Deep down she knew he was lying, but it just wouldn’t register in her heart.

Vashti had written an article on how to tell if your man was cheating, and her boss told her that the article needed more substance. Furious, she left work early and drove home to be comforted by Nathaniel. I worked on that article for weeks. What the hell does he mean it needs ‘more substance’? She cursed while pulling into her driveway.

When she got inside, she smelled food and thought that she had come home on time for a hot meal, but when she stepped into the kitchen, there were dirty dishes in the sink and candles still burning in the dining room. She went into the bathroom and saw that there was water in the bath tub, but most of the suds were gone and the water was dirty.

Noises coming from her bedroom put her in a state of alarm. She stepped as lightly as possible so that she didn’t startle anyone, especially if there were thieves and Nathaniel was in there with a gun at his head. When she got to her bedroom door, she saw everything that she had never wanted to see.

Mouth gaping wide open, she stood looking through a little opening in the doorway at Nathaniel having sex with someone else. What made things even worse for her was that he had the courage to do it in her bed—the bed that they shared every night. She stood there stupefied and silently watching his every move, the moves that she thought that he had reserved for her.

That bastard! she muttered through grinding teeth. Vashti tried to see who the girl was but couldn’t. She stepped closer and saw that one of the panties that Nathanial had constantly said he’d bought for her looked extremely similar to the ones the woman had discarded on Vashti’s TV.

She took another step forward only to be startled by the answering machine. Vashti hadn’t heard the phone ring, so when the machine came on it more than took her by surprise, but she tried not to say anything that would stop Nathaniel and his lover. She did not want him to know that she was there just yet. Then some more reality hit her smack dab in the face: she remembered that whenever she called around this time, the answering machine usually came on. His excuse would be that he was probably taking out the trash or had gone to the gym.

Gym, huh? Exercising, huh? Well, it looks more like sexercise to me. That damn bastard. That’s what all men are: bastards. Bastards! She muttered softly. . You think that they are sweet at first. Then they show you their true colors and you end up feeling like a fool.

Vashti turned away from the scene they created and felt her anger rise and all the love that she felt tuning into hate, pain, and disgust. This is where those perfumes and extra panties came from, she thought as she turned back to watch them.

They switched positions, and Vashti could now see the woman’s face. All thoughts ceased as she saw her best friend, Amina, a five-foot-five beauty with long black hair, green eyes, and yellow jeweled-toned skin, bucking under her man.

Bitch! Vashti screamed as she pushed the door open. All this time when I was at work and telling my coworkers that I had such a good man, and now I have to put my damn foot in my mouth. I’d prefer it in your ass though. She yelled as she stomped into the bedroom.

Nathaniel and her best friend stayed where they were, not sure of what was happening or what Vashti would do.

What a great man I have … here he is, doing what? Giving my best friend a tune-up? No, wait, the anger in her coming out with every word, she said, I get it; she must be the new treadmill at the gym or the trash that you’re always taking out.

Vashti could feel a migraine coming on and pinched the bridge of her nose. When she looked up again, she said, I can’t believe this; Amina and Nathaniel, my best friend and my man. And none of you have moved since I walked in here. As soon as Vashti made the statement, Nathaniel jumped off of Amina and asked the stupidest question.

Baby, what are you doing home so early?

Oh, great save, Nathaniel, she answered. It took you what … ten minutes to think of that to say. Damn, you’re lame. And as it happens, I don’t think that I’m home early. I think that I am right on time to see what really goes on in my house when I’m gone. This is a serious reality check, she said, looking at a new perfume bottle. That’s not new, is it? she asked him without looking at him. He followed her gaze and saw what she was looking at. She took his silence as a yes. My best friend with my man; wait, I said that wrong. I should have said, my nasty-ass ex-best friend screwing my good-for-nothing, son-of-a-bitch, stank-ass ex-man. That just goes to prove that no one can be trusted today, Vashti said with tears coursing down her face. Her makeup was streaking, and her hands were balled up into fists. She was ready for action.

Amina began picking up her clothes. While trying to put them on, she tried to apologize to Vashti about everything.

It’s your fault anyway, Amina screamed. You’re always telling me about how good he is to you and how good he is in bed.

And that gives you the right to check? You are the nastiest piece of shit I’ve ever known, Vashti replied. Where are you going? Some people don’t appreciate a good fuck when they get one. And I’m about to give your ass a good one all right. Vashti took Amina by her hair and pulled her down to the ground. So you like yellow, green-eyed, back-stabbing sluts, huh, Nathaniel? Vashti yelled at him while pulling Amina’s hair harder. Well, I guess that the green-eyed monster is you. Damn green-eyed slut.

Amina was screaming and tried to hit Vashti, but Vashti let her hair go in time to miss the blow. When Amina was somewhat calm, Vashti threw a jab and broke Amina’s nose.

Blood spewing down her face, Amina tried to fight back through the haze of the pain, but Vashti cut her off and delivered an uppercut to Amina’s stomach. Amina doubled over and fell to the floor. Right then, Vashti walked calmly toward Nathaniel and tried to slap him, but he caught her hand. As her anger became uncontrollable, Vashti grabbed his now limp member and growled, So is this your new toy? It can’t be new, cause it’s been around for some time now. Wanna play? She began smiling and saw fear creep into Nathaniel’s eyes. As she applied a little pressure to let him know that she meant business, his eyes looked as if they would pop out of his head. She told him that if he let go of her hand, she would let go of him. When he didn’t let go, she applied more pressure; this time the pressure caused him to wince, and he immediately let her go. She wiped her hand vigorously on the sheets on the bed to get the sex juices off of her.

Vashti took a quick survey of her house, and in a tone filled with disgust and anger, she yelled, Get the hell out of my house! and turned her back on both of them as she continued. Don’t worry about getting your shit, Nathaniel. I’ll send it all to Red Cross and you can pick up whatever’s left.

Turning to Amina, Vashti put a hand to her head, trying to keep her composure. Amina means trustworthy; yeah, right. You’re about as trustworthy as a thief working in a bank.

Her shoulders dropped a little with the acknowledgment of what her friend—her best friend—had done. She turned and looked at Amina. My best friend, my cousin’s girl. And you better not bleed on my furniture; it’s bad enough that I gotta go buy another bed ’cause of all that shit y’all left on it. What? Vashti asked as she walked up to Amina. You think I’m sorry for you? Hell no! Your nasty ass can go to hell, and you better believe that David and I are gonna have a chat about his nasty whoring woman. As Vashti mentioned the name David, Amina’s eyes filled with water. Amina looked at Nathaniel, then Vashti, and then she ran out of the house.

What the hell are you waiting for? I don’t care where you go, but you sure as hell can’t stay here. Bu-bye shit head. Go meet your whore. Vashti pushed him out the door wearing only the sheet that he was wrapped up in and slammed it shut.

Vashti was brought back to reality by another door shutting at that very same moment. Then she heard the sultry voice of her secretary, Dianne Simmonette.

Ms. Williams, Mr. Grant would like to see you in his office right away, Dianne said and flashed a set of semi coffee-stained teeth.

Thanks, Dianne, Vashti answered. "Tell him I’ll be there in a minute.

A few minutes later, Vashti arrived at Mr. Grant’s office and knocked on the door.

Open, he yelled.

Vashti poked her head into the office and asked, You wanted to see me, Mr. Grant? He was the head of Reality Magazine, about fifty-three years old, but he looked more like forty-five.

Yes, come in Vashti, come in. I would like you to write an article on Ramón Perez. He began to explain as she took a seat in front of him. He is an up-and-coming model and interesting to most women these days. He is staying at the Romano Hotel, but he’s leaving for the Virgin Islands tomorrow on some sort of vacation. Here’s his number, he said and gave her a small piece of paper with the number to the hotel. Call him and see if you can get an interview with him while he’s on vacation.

Sure, she said and began to leave the office.

Oh, one other thing, he said as she placed her hand on the doorknob. If he says yes, be prepared to go on an all-expense-paid vacation to St. Croix. You deserve it, he said with a smile.

* * *

Hello, who would you like to speak to?

Hello, mami.

Ramón! How are you?

"I’m fine, mai. I’m coming home for a while. I’ll be at the airport at about three o’clock tomorrow. Please be there to pick me up."

"Okay, but hold on a minute. Mi amor! the woman shouted. Mira, Raul! Raul, are you listening? Guess who’s coming tomorrow?"

Ramón wished that his mother wouldn’t make such a big deal out of his call. He had not seen her for about six years and longed to be home eating food cooked with his mother’s loving care. He could hear her yelling at his father that he was going to be there tomorrow. She got back on the line and told him that she would pick him up.

Okay, he replied, See you later. Don’t forget, tomorrow at 3:00 p.m.

Ramón was getting tired of the wild life in Atlanta. There was always someone after him. He’d left his home in St. Croix nine years ago. His first stop was Spain. In Spain Ramón became a model, something he had never thought of doing before.

While modeling, he met the brothers Louis and Rafael Santiago. These men became like family to him. He looked up to them. They supported his modeling career and showed him the love and affection along with the discipline that big brothers and fathers instilled in young boys.

When Louis, the older of the two brothers, died, he left some things in his will to Ramón. Ramón knew that these brothers were very well known and rich, but he never questioned where the money came from. He figured it was none of his business and that if they wanted him to know, they would have told him. When he found out that he now owned three casinos, two very large houses, and a chair with the Santiago Family, he learned everything he needed to know about where the money came from. These things were given to him because Louis did not have a wife or any children and loved Ramón like a son. Now Ramón was a part of the most powerful family in Spain.

A year passed quickly and Ramón became known as Romeo. He stood six feet tall with dark brown hair that contrasted with his light brown eyes. He had the kind of body that no artist could capture even if he tried. It was like God himself had chiseled out those rippling pectorals from stone, smoothed them over into soft curves, and brought them to life. His caramel complexion made him look oh-so-tasty. When he smiled, he looked angelic with his perfect white teeth and deep dimples.

After two years in Spain, his accent drastically changed. No longer did it have that Caribbean flare to it. It became sensual, smooth, suave, and some women described it as a feather seductively gliding across a woman’s nipple with a bass that vibrates your insides. His voice could attract them and keep them at his side for hours on hand. To women, he was an angel. His face sang a song of love that only they could hear. He was a true Romeo; kissing hands and giving roses to those he desired. Women practically threw themselves at his feet trying to get a rose from the sexy Romeo. Four years in Spain and he was the most desired man there. Then during Christmastime that fourth year, he met his match.

She did not give in to his charms or his looks as quickly as the other women did. She did not pay him any attention. The first time he saw her was in one of his casinos in Spain. It was Christmas Eve, and all he could think of was what gift he would get to unwrap at midnight. Then he saw her.

Her complexion was mocha brown. She was wearing a suede black halter-top dress that stopped right below her knees, exposing well-shaped calves. She wore black stiletto heels and silver teardrop earrings. Her hair was long, dark like the midnight sky, and shiny like silk.

Through the crowd, he saw how succulent her lips were as she sipped on a drink. For one moment, she looked at him. He smiled at her. She tipped her glass at him and turned away, showing absolutely no interest. With her back turned toward him, she revealed her well-rounded behind.

Not too big and not to small; just enough to sink my teeth into, he murmured. She turned to the side, and he took in her profile. Nice ass to match a handful of breasts … my handful.

He watched her as she moved her hair across her shoulder, exposing her neck. This only made him wonder about how she would feel under him, the taste of her lips and skin, and the erotic sounds she would make as he brought her to ecstasy.

Thinking of this created a tension so strong that he could feel heat stirring in his groin. He looked around trying to loosen the tension he had created by letting his mind wonder about a woman he didn’t know. He took a sip of his drink to cool his body down, and when he turned back, she was gone. He felt disappointment take over but was interrupted when a waitress tapped him on the shoulder.

Senor Perez, she called, there’s a lady looking for you.

He wished for it to be the woman he had just fantasized about and nodded. He quickly put down his glass and got up. Although he could have any woman by just smiling at her, he wanted her. He loved a challenge, and that’s what she was. He was determined to have her and knew that he must capture her heart before anything could ever happen between them. To his disappointment, it was someone else calling him. After that brief encounter, Ramón didn’t see her again that night.

For the next few days, he could not get the image of that remarkable woman out of his head and decided that he would search everywhere in Spain for her. He asked around hotels and restaurants to find out as much as he could about her. Within a week, he found out her name, where she was from, and where she was staying. He immediately began to woo her, sending her flowers and candy, saying that it was a secret admirer. One day he showed up at her door and told her that he was her secret admirer and that he wanted to go out with her.

Ramón had really taken to her. He had an uncontrollable desire for her. He needed no one else but her to make his day complete. There were times when someone at the casino got him upset; he would see her smiling at him, and just like that, his problems would fade away. They spent two weeks together before she came to his bed. The next morning he awoke and found a note with a rose on the pillow next to him.

Dear Ramón,

This has been the best two weeks of my life. With you, I am complete. But I know nothing about you. I hear people whispering about the way you are with other women, and I am not prepared to fall into the same category as them. I promised myself that I would not be yours to conquer, but you have conquered me. You have conquered my heart. You are my Romeo. It hurts me so much to leave you, but I must. I left and came here for a visit. I left my life behind for a short time, and I hope you understand. You will always have my love. Vashti

Nothing could have prepared Ramón for that. For once he was the one with the broken heart. He never showed it. Rafael hated seeing his nephew so low, and it got worse. He didn’t care to speak to, meet with, or even deal with women. When Ramón fired the cook for giving him a rose, Rafael decided