Her Own Daughter

By Suzanne Durant

Jackie is a young, ambitious, Barbadian girl from a poor community struggling to get out of her loveless, abusive environment. She has her academic and professional life laid out in a mental blueprint, and it shows that she is destined for considerable success. However, as she is poised to move on to a better life, her mother does the unthinkable and creates a situation that makes Jackie's world spiral completely out of control. It places her in a helpless position that this strong, independent girl never thought imaginable. The young girl endures the most horrific experience anyone could ever imagine. Only it isn't a dream...it's a nightmare, the kind she never expected could happen to her family.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Dec 17, 2009
• ISBN: 9781440171918

Suzanne Durant

Barbadian born Suzanne Durant is an English teacher at The University of the West Indies, Cave Hill campus. She knew she always wanted to be a writer; however, she wasn't able to get to her writing seriously until 2006 when she started her first novel, Her Own Daughter. She holds a Bachelors degree in English from the same university at which she teaches and an M.A. in Communications from Howard University in the United States. She lives in Barbados with her son, Jonathan and daughter, Samara.

Book preview

Prologue

1983

His lover crawled in a seductive catlike motion to him as he sat shirtless and bent over on the edge of the bed, tying his shoe. After a lazy evening of torrid, sweaty sex with his favourite girl, he was ready to go back home to his wife. As he laced his shoes, he thought of his wife’s sweet face and how fresh she smelled every time he hugged her. This made him even more anxious to get home. He knew she would have dinner cooked and waiting for him. She never ate dinner until he got home.

The young girl draped her smooth brown arms around his neck and pulled his back onto her breasts. Her nipples quickly hardened from the contact with his skin, and she circled her tongue around the back of his neck, punctuating it with kisses. He was finding it difficult to resist his sexual desire for her.

I have to go, he moaned, gently releasing her hold and rising from the bed to retrieve his shirt.

I’ve got some good news, she said, noticeably trying to make her voice light.

As he was buttoning his shirt, he looked down at his fifteen-year-old lover with a lustful smile playing on his lips. She sat cross-legged on the bed, swaying from side to side, and made no eye contact with him. Her tone was strange. This disturbed him a bit, but he got distracted looking at her. She looked so sexy sitting there. Her breasts were full and pert, and they looked tempting. Just looking at her, he almost changed his mind about leaving. She was young and fresh and frisky, just the way he liked them. He had made an excellent choice in a mistress. She was absolutely no stress at all, not like the two others he’d had in the past. He always gave her the required amount of money for her time and a little extra because he liked her so much.

Don’t go yet. I have something to tell you. She stepped off the bed and held on to his arm.

He reached into his pocket, pulled out two hundred dollars, and handed it to her. His mistress gave him a puzzled look.

Don’t look so surprised and as if you don’t want it. Take it. He pressed the money into her hand and resumed his dressing.

I’m … I’m pregnant. Her voice was a whisper.

He stopped his actions and stared at her in disbelief. What did you say?

Baby, we’re gonna have a baby.

He didn’t know what to say. She reached over to caress his arm.

You expect me to believe that child is mine? he finally responded, pulling sharply away from her.

I haven’t been having sex with anyone but you, she cried.

My brother told me about your kind. I know this is a stunt for you to try holding on to me. I told you already that I’m not leaving my wife. I don’t know who that child belongs to, but I do know that as a whore, you’ve got to be sleeping with other men. Do you think I’m stupid or something?

How could you think …? I thought you loved me, she gasped, as tears spilled out of her eyes and coursed quickly down her cheeks.

I can’t believe my wife can’t get pregnant, and you, a whore, get pregnant from me in no time, he muttered under his breath, pulling himself away from her. He dug deeper into his pocket and retrieved his wallet. He pulled out ten one-hundred-dollar bills and threw them at her. "This should help you handle what you have to do with that baby because if it is mine, I don’t want it."

Please … don’t do this, she moaned, sinking to the floor.

He opened the door, and on the way out, he looked back at the weeping young girl. He felt a tiny bit of compassion for her, but he could not jeopardize his life, especially his relationship with his wife. He had to talk to his brother about this in case the girl got out of hand.

By the way, don’t ever try to contact me again! he said. With a slam of the door, he was gone.

PART I

Chapter One

2008

Jackie was stuffing her books in her bag, hurrying to leave the house so she could catch the bus to the community college. She was going to be late for sure, and her psychology professor was not going to let her off easy about it.

Ms. Hinds, Jackie said, mimicking her professor’s droning voice and sour expression in front of the mirror, this is the umpteenth time you have been late. You really must make an effort to get here on time.

Jackie responded as if she were in front of her professor. Yes, Ms. Jones. And isn’t this the umpteenth time you’ve told me this?

She could make this remark aloud only out of earshot of Ms. Jones. The last thing Jackie wanted was to be publicly disrespectful to a teacher and have her reputation as a good student tarnished in any way.

Jackie was late for school most mornings, even though she tried her best to be as early as possible. She spent long days at the college, either in class or working in the library, so that left time for studying only at night, which she did diligently and faithfully every night. Then, in the mornings, she would clean the house as best as she could, prepare what little there was for breakfast for herself and her mother, and get her clothes and books together for school. All this usually took her about two hours, and if she was not up by five thirty and out of the house by seven thirty or earlier, she was guaranteed to be late for her morning classes.

Despite this challenge, once Jackie was at class, she applied herself to her studies with the necessary dedication to gain her associate degree in business management. She was driven to do her very best and then continue her education at the local university. She had one more year at the community college, and she was just months away from her final exam.

Jackie’s home for the past eighteen years was a unit in a housing area called Grants, on the tiny Caribbean island of Barbados. Jackie thought Barbados was the most beautiful island in the Caribbean, and she was proud that it was one of the most sought-after destinations for tourists. She loved going to the beach and picnicking, and when she wasn’t busy studying, she tried to get out to an occasional nightclub with friends. She liked that there was always something interesting to do, and her one regret was that she did not always have the money to do as much as she wanted to.

While Jackie loved her island, she hated living in Grants. Grants had the third worst reputation on the island for many illegal activities: drug-dealing, shoot-outs, and prostitution. It was always noisy, especially late at night, when the unemployed young men settled under a large shak-shak tree just five housing units away from Jackie’s, playing dominoes and music, having loud discussions, and arguing and cursing. Many of these same unemployed men conducted their drug deals under the tree, day and night. The noise that came from the men under the tree had been a part of Jackie’s life for as long as she could remember, so over the years, she had learned to block it out and concentrate on her studies and her plans for her future.

Jackie had certainly adapted to her environment, but she refused to be a part of it. She hated it and was determined to get out of it as quickly as she could. She kept reminding herself that it was only temporary.

When Jackie had finally gotten herself together for school, she quickly picked her bag up and threw it over her shoulder. Gone, Mum, she said.

Her mother, Vera, did not respond. Dressed in a dirty, faded, and torn housedress that had seen better days, she was sprawled out on the raggedy couch, watching a local morning talk show and smoking her second pack of cigarettes that morning. Jackie was not bothered by the lack of response since she was focusing more on making her way out the house to get a minivan to school. It was just she and her mother at home, and from a tender young age, Jackie had learned to steel herself against not just her mother’s silences, but also her biting criticisms and occasional sharp slaps.

As Jackie bounded out the door, Vera replaced her cigarette with a blunt. She lit it, placed it hungrily between her almost black lips, and inhaled long and deep. Her eyes rolled back in her head in pleasure as she languished in the rush of the drug to her lungs. The little brown marijuana stick between her fingers took her to a place she needed to go every day so she could escape her life.

Vera’s life had been tough for a long time, and taking care of a child was not helping her life get any better. Vera depended on help from men in order to survive each day; however, the interest from her clients was decreasing rapidly. Not even the ones who used to be regulars were coming around anymore. She needed money, and lots of it, fast. She was miserable and unhappy with her life, and she needed a change. She also knew that she needed to fix herself up.

Vera got up and looked in the mirror. Visions of herself at fifteen years old floated before her. Damn, I was good-looking! she thought out loud, twirling one of her hair twists with one hand and taking a drag of her blunt with the other.

Time had not been good to her. She had no looks and no money, and in her line of business, without looks, she could get no money.

Her buddy, Betty, had devised a plan, though. The plan had potential to make them lots of money and get them out of their respective hellholes. Their good friend, Jean, was also involved in the plans. Vera had been reluctant at first about Betty’s idea. It seemed so risky. Apart from her current line of work, she had never thought about doing anything illegal or as dangerous as the crazy scheme Betty had come up with. But she needed the money. She had to put aside any feelings or doubts so she could go through with it. She had to focus on the money.

Vera looked around at her surroundings. She and Jackie lived in a tiny unit. The paint was peeling off the walls, and there was a musty smell in every room. The furniture in the living room consisted of