A Study in Sherbet: A Sherlock Holmes Parody

By Stephen Marsh

In this humorous Sherlock Holmes spoof, our hero is once again joined by his friend and colleague, Dr. John H. Watson and together they set out to try and solve the mystery of the extraordinary sugar disappearances sweeping the United Kingdom. Sound boring? Well, yes it does actually, but things are not always what they seem and in this newly-discovered narrative discovered in a dispatch box from the vaults of Cox & Co., London, we find Holmes at his deductive best. Dr. Watson chips in every now and then and Mrs. Hudson displays her true colours. Along the way there are cameo appearances by Inspector Lestrade and Wiggins of the Irregulars and of course it would not be complete without Holmes’ arch-nemesis, Professor James Moriarty showing up. A hardboiled, sugar-free detective tale of adventure and intrigue.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AG Books
• Release date: Jun 25, 2018
• ISBN: 9781785389320

Book preview

London

Part I

The evening was drawing in as my good friend of many years, Sherlock Holmes and myself finished our bread and butter puddings at the strangely-named Wyenotcome Inn on the lonely moors of Derbyshire. Neither of us were aware of the mysterious adventure which was awaiting our return back in London.

This bread and butter pudding is strangely not as syrupy as per usual, Holmes, I said, taking another large spoonful, but dropping most of it on my waistcoat where it joined the gravy and soup stains from earlier courses and breakfast egg from the previous morning.

You are correct, Watson, I have also detected that there is a complete lack of sugar in this meal, Holmes deduced. Definitely not up to my expectations of the sweet trolley.

Well, never mind Holmes, now that you have solved the case of the missing ear, we can depart in the morning for London and our cosy little rooms in Baker Street and Mrs. Hudson’s splendid cooking.

The Case of the Missing Ear was to become one of Holmes’ most notorious cases. He had been called in by the Derbyshire Constabulary to supervise the solving of one of the most mysterious episodes the local police had ever handled, a case which had them completely baffled. The story goes thus:

A local farmer, Arthur Slug, had reported the loss of one of his ears in a threshing machine accident and was claiming a huge insurance settlement of five hundred pounds. The case had gone on for several weeks and the investigating officer, Detective Sergeant Ivor Whistle had finally admitted that he was not getting anywhere; his instincts told him there was something illegal going off but he couldn’t quite pin it down. Holmes was called in to investigate and within just three days of studying the facts, he had the case solved.

When Holmes interrogated Slug, he noticed that the suspect wore spectacles balanced upon two fine-looking ears.

Holmes began the questioning with: How is it Slug, that you are claiming for the loss of one of your ears in an accident, yet you walk in here, head held high displaying two distinctive ears?

That’s right, Slug replied. I used t’ave three of ‘em, an’ now one’s missin’.

It took Holmes less than an hour to deduce the fraud and Slug was then arrested immediately. Detective Sergeant Whistle told Holmes that the suspect would probably receive the maximum sentence for ‘ear’ fraud in the area, which was to have one of his remaining ears removed.

So, there it was, the famous detective and myself were sitting with unamused looks on our faces trying to finish what was a very sour bread and butter pudding.

This is intolerable Watson! he said. I cannot devour this unpleasant, so-called ‘sweet’!

Holmes informed me that he was going to complain and shouted a