Guardianship a Daughter's Journal

By Pamela Turner

Our father carried on normal conversations and then started to misbehave. Dad revoked his Power of Attorney, hired a second lawyer to show my sister had stolen funds from him as I dealt with accusations of sabotaging his business. The entire time Dad added humor and surprises to our lives.
Guardianship a Daughter’s Journal was written for families to inform sons, daughters, friends and relatives. I am not a professional, only one of 76 million baby boomers attempting to expose the extensive judicial procedures of Elder Adult Guardianship.
My nonfiction narrative conveys the process with inexperienced counsel of evaluations, required notices, authorizations, consents, waivers, motions, petitions, and docs as I try to save our father's small savings.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pamela Turner
• Release date: Jun 15, 2018
• ISBN: 9781732063136

Pamela Turner

I am not a professional, only one of 76 million baby boomers. We hope to help others avoid many of our mistakes while my dad continues to add humor to our lives.

Book preview

Guardianship

a Daughter’s Journal

Pamela Turner

Copyright © 2016 Pamela Turner

All rights reserved.

ISBN-13: 978-1-7320631-3-6

One November Afternoon

The concept my father would prosecute his daughters became a reality. My sister and I recognized we needed to protect Dad, his small nest egg, and salvage our reputations. Accusations I sabotaged his business from a second attorney prompted a phone call to an old customer. Now Liz enjoys a career in retail. She retains her law degrees in Elder Law, Wills, and Trusts.

Our brief chat confirmed she did not wish to expand her client base. I began my story of the past couple events and my father’s latest attorney. The man emailed my sister and me accusing us of pilfering money and removing items from Dad’s safety deposit box. We had never heard of him before. Then I received an email from Dad’s real estate attorney, allegations I was stealing his clients. Liz inquired if there was a Power of Attorney. No, unfortunately Dad revoked it last month.

I expanded on recent behaviors, his mixed-up days and nights, horrible driving, forgetfulness, and not taking medications as prescribed. I feel certain the new mystery attorney Mr. Jones P.A. recognizes these issues. He informed my sister and me not to speak with our father until the stolen money matter was resolved.

Liz listened as I explained how three months ago I was out of town and my sister, Pauly, flew in from Seattle. Dad agreed to let her set up Bill Pay on his personal bank account. Pauly departed prior to my return, refusing to share the Username and Password on the account I have assisted Dad in paying bills for the past two years. My father goes into his bank nearly every day to check balances and screams she is draining him. I don’t believe my sister is stealing. These are his funds to make his monthly car payment, mortgages, electricity, etc.

Next Dad closed a second joint account and refused a cashier’s check. The bank associate said he stuffed $10,000 in his pocket and swaggered out. The bank called asking where to deposit his Social Security check. Earlier in the year he left with $25,000 cash in his briefcase.

Liz was silent. I continued. In September my sister and I moved Dad into an independent living facility minutes from my home in Lake City. At the time he expressed concern for his coin collection in the house, so the three of us, (Dad, Pauly and I) opened a joint safe box. We anticipated Dad would retire, relax and enjoy life. Instead he drives 35 miles to Highlands to check bank balances. He continues to open and close accounts, and then paid a locksmith to drill our joint safe box. Mr. Jones, P.A. insists Pauly and I turn over a key to a box we don’t have access to or know where the valuables are located.

I’ve observed my father’s dementia and paranoid behavior becoming worse. He stutters looking for words, but if I’m patient he gets his thoughts out. Sometimes the stories are embellished, but relatively close to the truth. My mother-in-law had Alzheimer’s for six years. My mom’s TIAs created hallucinations before she passed away. This is different. It’s not like her dementia. Dad makes foolish decisions, accusations without proof.

Liz suggested I become a legal guardian, but first I must find a Certified Elder Law Attorney. She suggested I check out the state website. If your area does not have one, search a larger city. Make sure they are Certified. The attorney will petition the court for an Emergency Temporary Guardianship (ETG) and submit a recommendation for three professionals to evaluate my father.

I assured Liz my dad would not talk to these people. She explained the evaluators would drive to him if necessary. Each will make an assessment, and report to the court. A judge reviews the information, a date is set, and I must attend. Then based on the reports, the judge will decide if my father is an incapacitated person or to what degree he can handle his affairs. How long the process could take without the holidays? Liz said sixty to ninety days.

I disconnected the call and stood overlooking our backyard. Little Lake Ellie is a long winding fishpond with a tall fountain and green fairways beyond the water’s edge. We purchased our tiny condo five years ago as an investment and hoped my father-in-law, Claude, would move in. Instead Claude chose a senior home. The Shore Line where my father now resides.

In past years our small condo was a rental property for winter visitors. Hubby, David, and I intended to live in upstate South Carolina. We did not expect to remain in Lake City until my father started to misbehave.

Researching Elder Adult Guardianship information on Amazon, big book sellers and state websites, each offered various legal books for sale. None referenced the answers I wanted about elder adult issues.

Clicking on RE: Guardianship Procedures in the Tenth Circuit for Colt County. A confusing statute included two pages of double spaced legal jargon

1. Papers to be Filed

a. The attorney of record shall file the following

b. 5 more forms…

2. Examining Committee - How do you find an examiner?

3. Protection of Guardianship Funds - I had already tried to help Dad protect his funds.

Highlands listed two Certified Elder Law attorneys on the Bar website. I phoned the second one, requesting the first available appointment, December 1st.

Unexpected Trip – November 24

Our bed shook at 3:30 am when David jumped to grab the phone I never heard ring. He confirmed to the Colt County Sheriff’s Deputy I was Wayne Curtis’ daughter. The officer described how my father had been stopped for driving south in a north bound lane miles away from Lake City.

The deputy said Dad appeared to be baffled and confused about a trip to Highlands for a meeting. I mentioned Dad’s dementia issues, how my sister and I asked Dad to stop driving, he refused. I told the officer I hoped this was the opportunity to have Dad’s license suspended or revoked. Thankful he didn’t hurt anyone or himself.

The deputy said, Well I don’t know what to do with him. EMS is arriving now, and we’ll check him out. Why would he be driving away from his house?

He moved to an independent living facility in Lake City about 35 miles from there. We are going to sell the house soon. We can come over and pick him up.

What’s the facility called?

The Shore Line, do you need the number?

The deputy sighed, Okay Mrs. Turner, I’ll call you back.

Thirty minutes later the deputy told us to pick up my father.

Wait! Where are you? I yelled.

Oh yeah, take Hwy 98 to 540 left for Highlands Blvd, he said.

Dense fog saturated the isolated part of Hwy 60 from Lake City. The opaque void became worse as we crept north. Windows down, using our ears more than our eyes we attempted to make out the lines on the road from the curb. David weaved through road construction and a mile later we saw the Colt County Sheriffs vehicle’s flashing blue lights, parked behind my father’s little red Ford Focus with the Curtis vanity license plate. Dad seated in the back of the patrol cruiser.

David parked. We trekked through the dirt toward the sheriff’s car. In a sardonic tone, arms crossed the deputy said, We need to talk. A long black flashlight illuminated our faces.

Is my dad alright? I tried to peer beyond him.

Yeah, but he’s not happy that you want to take his driver’s license away. He thinks you and your sister are stealing from him. He told me his reason for being in Highlands was to meet with his attorney, Officer Brown announced.

Did he give you a time for the meeting?

Yes, 11 o’clock

David said, We talked to the security guard at The Shore Line. Wayne signed out at 11:30 pm, but he wrote 8:30. We think he drove over here for this appointment, but the attorney wasn’t in his office in the middle of the night.

Officer Brown continued, Your father’s trunk is full of documents, and I would caution you not to look at them. It appears to me his attorney is taking advantage of him. There’s also a lot of cash in his trunk.

The deputy smirked, You know your father is going to be upset if you take his license away. He does not want to go with you. I told him the other choice was the hospital. He agreed to let you take him back to The Shore Line.

David and I looked at each other. Did we hear the cop correctly? Standing out here in the cold dense fog at 5 am, the deputy lectures me about how unhappy my dad will be if I take his license away? Two hours ago, my father drove on the wrong side of the road!

I thought the cop would make it easy, insist on a driving test, or give Dad a ticket. He acts like a confused child, I blurted out.

The deputy responded, No, I have four children. He’s your father, and you are his child.

Tempted to ask, Do you discipline your children when they disobey the rules? Suppose Dad hurt someone? Instead I kept my mouth shut. We watched a second sheriff’s car, lights flashing, screech to a halt near the three of us.

Deputy Brown assured the other officer he was almost finished. Turning to me, I want you to drive Wayne’s car to his house, park it and take him back to The Shore Line.

Thank you. I have an appointment with an elder law attorney December 1st. Do you have a reference number for this little episode? I asked.

The deputy wrote a series of numbers on the back of his Colt County Sheriff’s Office business card. The front noted his job description, Traffic Homicide Investigator.

Ten minutes later I parked the Focus in Dad’s garage. We watched my father rummage in the darkness, collecting a black leather briefcase from the back-passenger seat and another brown one from the trunk. He picked up his two medication bottles stuffing everything in my green reusable grocery tote. I noticed Dad snatched the garage door opener from the center console and slipped it into his trousers.

We locked the Focus as he handed over both sets of car keys. My father carries one set in his pocket, the second in the cup holder between the bucket seats. I’m still amazed the Focus had never been stolen.

On the return trip at 5:30 AM, Dad, the ultimate salesman, engaged in friendly conversation, extremely curious, jovial and polite. Mercifully we did not experience any of his nasty sarcasm, finger pointing accusations, You’re stealing my money then beating on his chest yelling, It’s mine.

Dad continued to explain his side of the incident. No mention of the attorney appointment; he simply blamed the officer. When I asked why the 3 AM trip to Highlands prior to the cop stop, his story kept evolving over the course of the next 40 minutes.

First, he simply needed directions back to Lake City. Excuse me? My parents have lived in Colt County since 1947, and preferred back roads to major highways. Second, Dad stopped by his warehouse to try some new keys and confused the highway which parallels Highlands Blvd.

Third excuse and the most creative, Dad said he often went out in the middle of the night, driving about looking for good people in need of help, a hero of sorts. My father boasted about being a vigilante?

When I pinned him down on dates, times and persons he assisted, he smiled, I’ll have to get back with you on that one.

Fourth, he was not the only vehicle traveling south in the north bound lane.

Yeah, the other one had a flashing blue light behind you, David joked.

Dad said, I heard the cop tell you that I should keep my license.

Officer Brown gave me the case number, told me to park your car, and said you should stay in Lake City, I countered. Apparently he didn’t want you driving either.

David entered The Shore Line complex. We reminded Dad to stay in Lake City through the weekend. Gave him a peck on the cheek, Dad thanked us and slowly ambled toward the entrance holding the grocery tote as med bottles rattling inside.

After a short nap, I emailed Mr. Jones P.A. my father would not be making his meeting due to an early morning driving mishap.

Another Unexpected Trip – Nov 24

Five hours later, a second phone call confirmed I was Wayne Curtis’ daughter. Dad collapsed on a sidewalk in downtown Highlands. He was in an ambulance. His good friend Barry drove to Lake City, picked up my father, and delivered him to our family attorney’s office for an 11 AM meeting. I notified the wrong attorney.

Entering the Emergency Room, I found my father angry and hostile. What are you doing over here? We promised Officer Brown you would remain in Lake City, I reminded him.

Barry abruptly left. The ER doctor walked in, and I was informed Dad would be admitted for observation due to his heart condition, arterial flutter. Dad kept saying he simply sat down on the sidewalk and two guys called 911. One of them gave him a Pepsi, the reason his sugar count was over 500.

I mentioned to the ER doctor my father’s early morning driving incident, his dementia-like symptoms, the refusal to see a neurologist and my concerns about this behavior. The doctor made notes. Several tests were ordered. As my father’s health surrogate, I requested copies of the results.

The following week I contacted the sheriff’s department. The Nov 24th report was not ready yet and the clerk suggested we try in another 5 days, nothing.

On the third attempt I explained my December 1st Elder Law Attorney appointment and my distress over Dad’s driving. The clerk offered to email the officer’s call-in, a silver alert, but Deputy Brown never submitted any paperwork. I confirmed on the Division of Motor Vehicles website Wayne Curtis’ license did not have a notation, warning, or even a recommendation for driving school. His license was still valid.

Unopened mail – Nov 30

Dad’s a-flutter kept him in the hospital for nearly a week. To avoid an arrest warrant for trespassing in my childhood home, I assisted my father as he called numerous neighbors informing them I would be entering the house. His new instructions, do NOT call the police. I had respected his wishes for the past two months unaware he changed the house locks and reset the garage door opener.

Dad’s desk was littered with piles of unopen mail. I found a notice his beach condo insurance lapsed. The unit was rented to a seasonal tenant until April 15. I dialed the company. Universal only allowed automatic check withdrawal from an account. I gave them my information and waited for the confirmation number.

The second letter was from Highlands Utilities referencing a power bill for Dad’s house. The electricity was scheduled to be turned off in three days. Quickly I called and charged the past due amount to my Visa card. It appeared Dad attempted to pay his bills instead of forwarding them to my sister. I found 14 checking accounts.

The confusion over his multiple cell phone statements was a constant nightmare. Dad seemed to buy a new mobile every time I left town and unable to work any of them. He would go to the Verizon store in south Highlands, explain his uncertainly about the latest purchase. The sales rep, always a nice intelligent guy according to my father, would sell him a new unit with another two- year program. I knew of four Verizon cell accounts, and later I found three more Metro PCS. My dad had seven cell phones.

Then mine chirped. The SunTrust branch manager explained on Nov 11th Dad paid his home owner’s insurance check on an account he closed.

I called the agent who expressed a concern about my father’s dementia. I asked him to fax me a copy of the Account Closed check and promised to drop off payment tomorrow. Several more calls followed. My father had written over $4,000 in bad checks.

Two Weeks Later

Follow-up email to my attorney – Dec 1

Dear Robert,

Thank you for our meeting today. Below are a few more details:

1) 3 years ago – Dad had a second stroke and third heart attack. While in the hospital I spoke with my sister about our mother’s hallucinations.

2) 6 months later – Mom became forgetful and had difficulty handling everyday tasks. I started working on their books and medications. Dad continued his commercial sales in their real estate company. In the past Mom answered the phones, submitted monthly sales tax, filed the corporate reports, chased rent checks for their five properties, and managed three others.

3) My husband and I took a break from our Manufactures Rep business to help my parents. Then Mom passed away.

4) Assisting Dad with the bookkeeping duties, I noticed his difficulty with simple math, signing his name, and an obsession over checking account balances.

5) Dad’s memory issues continued, one morning I wrote out 11 Real Estate Property checks. These quarterly statements covered various properties he owns and manages. After mailing the property taxes, my father announced he had opened a