Roadblocks to Hell

By Dr Carrie Wachsmann

Fictional biography based on a true story.

By the age of 12, Walther Colt was headed down a dark and dangerous road.

Both family circumstances and choices played a role in this young man’s fateful journey. Convicted of trying to kill the police chief at the age of 15, Walt faces years in adult prison, his only friend - a young Mennonite girl from a strict religious background.
Why would Cali, a simple country girl, befriend and stay connected with this angry, rebellious man, whose tragic life was so antithetical to that of her own?
How many roadblocks will it take for Walt to live a life without bars?

How many roadblocks will it take before he finds the redemption he so desperately seeks?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Heartbeat Productions Inc.
• Release date: Jun 8, 2018
• ISBN: 9781895112658

Book preview

CHAPTER 2

THE NOT SO ORDINARY MENNONITE GIRL

Although she lived a rather ordinary life in an ordinary Mennonite farming community, Cali Ginter did not consider herself ordinary. Free-spirited and adventurous, Cali was always teaching her siblings something; how to climb chairs, or trees, catch butterflies, how to fish for bass in the pond, and build forts and dig snow caves.

She had one older sister, and two younger brothers. The family regularly attended the local Mennonite church. For a child, Sundays in this little community church could be grueling. They involved an hour of Sunday School, followed by an English service and then a repeat German service. Some Sunday evenings they returned for yet another special service. To counteract boredom, or in some cases terror, depending on the service, Cali learned how to wrap and twist a simple handkerchief into a tiny doll snuggled in a blanket.

Her younger brother, Rob, seemed to like it best under the pew. Why do you always crawl under there? she asked one day.

It’s not very comfortable banging your head and all. Because I don’t want to go to hell, was his definitive answer. So I’m not the only one who’s sometimes afraid.

Cali thought that if hiding under the pew could save her from hell, she would join him.

By age six Cali had had enough church in her life to both convince her of her great need for God, as well as cause her to question whether she was even good enough for Him. Her troubled heart wondered what God was really like. Was He kind, or was He angry? Was He loving, or was He stern? If God was like the preacher said He was, then He was very scary. But if God was like her Sunday School teacher said He was, then He was very good and very amazing.

She decided to settle for a God who was very good and very amazing. They often sang the song, Jesus Loves Me This I Know, she reasoned, and if that was so, He was good. All she did know for certain was that she wanted the Jesus of the Bible to be her friend forever, and so she asked Him… and He said yes.

That was enough to reassure her that she was not hell bound, but heaven bound. Unhappy, grumpy old preachers who tell us God is always displeased with something or other that we’ve done or haven’t done, don’t always know everything she reasoned. Cali was content and happy with that.

Cali spent much of her time at grandparent’s farm; a hop, skip and a jump from where they lived. She loved the farm. The animals, the barn, the hayloft... there was so much to do. Although the farm held plenty of charm, not everything on the farm was charming.

The pungent barn smells and the angry Hereford bull that everyone had to keep an eye on, weren’t charming. Chicken catching, killing, and plucking were some of the worst days one could imagine - not charming at all. Then the hot summer days on the black dirt fields in the scorching prairie sun, weeding sugar beets from dawn to dusk. If you could hold a hoe, you could work - still not charming.

Holding Rosie’s tail while Aunt Sue milked her… that was fun. This required strong arms because Rosie had a strong tail and was determined to use it to swat the many flies buzzing around her milker’s head. The job became even more interesting when the cats and their kittens showed up looking for streams of warm milk.

Cali liked sitting high astride grandpa’s Percheron draft horse, Lady, as she plowed the garden. In winter, uncle Todd would sometimes hitch Lady to the stone boat, (a flat sled used for hauling heavy objects or manure). He’d toss on a few bales of straw, throw on some blankets and they’d sleigh ride around the snow-covered countryside. When temperatures dropped too low for comfort, (minus 20- 30 degrees Fahrenheit, not to mention the wind chill) uncle Todd placed a hut he had made from plywood on the sled.

At the back of the hut, he covered a small opening/door with a thick piece of cardboard. Several small side windows caught the view, or were used to rest the muzzle of a rifle when rabbit hunting.

A similar stone boat - 1921 Public Domain

Cali liked it when Grandma sent her on an egg hunt. Carefully she’d slip her hand under the brooding hen. There she might find three or maybe even four fresh warm eggs. Cali discovered that if she was calm and reassuring, mother hen would not peck and scold her nearly as much.

Then there were the times when grandpa asked her to help him hold the little newborn piglets while he snipped their sharp baby teeth so the mama could nurse more comfortably. She felt especially important those times. Other times she got to hang around in the kitchen with all its inviting aromas, and eat grandma’s blueberry pie.

Sometimes, when the sun was shining and the chores were done, uncle Todd would play football

with her and sister Marlie. Uncle taught them all they ever needed to know about the game; how to hold and throw the ball, how to outsmart the opposition, how to think like a quarterback and how to run like the wind for a touchdown.

Then there was the garden in their own backyard. Summer-time provided endless hours of weeding and picking and peeling - the tub full of peas in particular required constant peeling attention. It never stayed empty for long.

Cali’s life was not all roses and happy fairy tale stories. She developed empathy for the rejected, inner strength, and a persistent nature... but these traits came with a high price.

By the time she was eight, she was addicted to the feeling of satisfaction and self-approval that came with academic achievement. To Cali’s dismay and surprise, after every battery of tests her classmates refused to speak to her for the remainder of the week.

The reason for this behavior... Cali had attained the highest marks in her grade and she must be shunned, not just by those in her grade, but also by the other three grades in the three-room school.

Cali knew what it meant to be bullied, but she never put a name to it. It just was. She was taunted for being a Christian, threatened to have an arm broken if she made a goal in soccer, and shunned if she aced her studies.

Except for Nancy, who one day stood her ground and refused to join in on what she rightfully called, stupidity. On one of those silent days, a bright and pleasant Wednesday morning, Cali was walking to school when Nancy, who was a mere twenty paces ahead, suddenly unexpectedly turned and said, This is stupid. My not talking to you. After school I’m at home with nothing to do when we could be doing stuff together. I’m not listening to those guys anymore. It’s just stupid.

Cali was stunned. She was so happy about the unexpected show of friendship and loyalty, but she was having trouble finding the words to express her feelings.

Thanks, she offered. You wanna go fishing in the pond back of our place after school? I saw a bunch of new babies. I think they’re bass ‘cause they have really deep blue bodies and orange heads... kind of. Lots of them.

OK, Nancy cheerfully responded. That sounds like fun. The school bell rang and the girls giggled as they raced each other to the door.

Cali rarely mentioned the unfair treatment to her parents. She learned early on in the game that this was her battle. To do so would probably just make things worse for her. Anyway, she was quite comfortable talking to God about it, out in the field by herself while checking out the birds and their nests or catching butterflies.

At this point in time, Cali’s love for learning was greater than her need for acceptance. She chose to just put up with the silent treatment during the exam times and continued to push herself to achieve. Besides, she was not the only one in the grades 1-12, three-classroom school, who was subjected to bullying. No, she was not alone.

Her heart went out to two students in particular. Their families were beyond the descriptions of American poor and were prime candidates for rejection and bullying.

Their clothes - dirty rags. Their appearance - filthy. Their attendance - sporadic. Their homes – paper-thin walls, made from scraps of wood and cardboard, newspaper filling the cracks to keep the harsh winter cold from freezing them to death during the night.

Cali cried inside on the days Maria came to school with her long brown hair in a tangle of knots, deep red well-fed bedbugs weaving their way in and out of the nasty mess. Maria’s desk was up front, row two, in front of Cali.

Everyone knew that Maria’s father was an angry, abusive drunk and that he was good for nothing. Everyone knew that her mother could do nothing about it.

Cali cried inside when she saw the puddle beneath Maria’s chair because the teacher had confronted her about not having her homework done. How could life be so cruel to someone so gentle and beautiful? She had a face like an angel. Cali let out a sigh of relief when the teacher stopped with his condescending tone, having noticed the accident and began to speak to her kindly.

Regularly, Cali’s parents and grandparents (and there were others) delivered fresh milk and food to both of the needy families. She would never forget the day when she first entered Maria’s home.

The stench overpowered her burning her eyes, hitting her like a smack in the face. Instinctively, as if to somehow protect the drink she held in her hand, Cali covered it with her other hand - a reaction she would forever regret, but the writer chose to include this to punctuate how disgusting and horrible, how shocking it was for someone who had everything compared to this family, to suddenly come face to face with the reality of true, disgusting poverty.

Cali’s senses continued to be assaulted with each passing second.

The sight that greeted her would haunt her for years to come.

There in the middle of the room on the floor amidst his human waste, sat an adult man in a playpen. Rocking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth! No one had ever mentioned Maria’s mother’s retarded brother!

In an instant, the overwhelming, awful stench of poverty had made a deep and lasting imprint in Cali’s tender mind. How she wished she could do something that could make their lives just a little bit better. But she was just a child - what could she do in a situation so desperate as this?

One day a new student joined the class and Cali’s #1 status was suddenly challenged. This student was the son of the new preacher in town. His name was Paul and he was also highly academically motivated. This meant Cali had to rise to the occasion if she wanted to stay at the top of the class.

Now she had to battle for first spot. Soon it became a game. One semester first place, next semester second place, then back to first, and so on.

Finding comfort in their commonality, the two wasted no time in becoming classroom friends and allies.

Then Cali’s life took a sudden left turn. She was just twelve when this hard and fast curve ball hit her. Somehow, and no one knows how, she contracted Hepatitis A.

Cali became very, very ill. Pulled out of school, she would spend that school year lying on the living room couch wondering if she would die.

Her parents’ reaction to her illness indicated to her that most likely she would die. She could sense their fear. The silence was deafening. Cali’s emotions were mixed... sadness that her parents had to be put through this ordeal, comfort because they really must love her, but also fear of the unknown.

Hepatitis A is not usually life-threatening, and once recovered, one has built up plenty of antibodies to never contract that disease again. In Cali’s case however, this disease had become life-threatening.

No one was allowed to visit as she was considered contagious. No one hugged her, no one talked to her about living or... dying.

No one even talked about what was really wrong with her. Her dishes and clothes were washed separately. She was not allowed to eat fat of any sort. Jaundiced and weak, she could barely walk from the couch to the bathroom. Cali was as thin as a twig and looked every bit as fragile.

To help Cali pass the time and take her mind off her illness, Father had introduced Cali to stamp collecting. Eventually, even that was taken from her. Since she was not recovering, the doctor said, No more stamp collecting. What in the world was she to do for all those hours of the day?

Broken and wounded, she again found solace in talking to God. This became her escape and comfort. Eventually she came to a place of complete peace. She remembers the day this peace dropped into her heart. If she was going to die, she would be in heaven with Jesus, and He would take care of her. She felt herself let go. What a wonderful feeling it was.

This inner strength and peace was key to Cali’s survival, both emotionally and physically. Cali still had much to endure.

For months on end, every Monday Cali’s father drove her the thirty minutes to their family doctor’s office for a blood test. She did not look forward to these doctor visits, but she did look forward to having her father all to herself. He was strong, gentle and kind, and even though they drove mostly in silence, she felt stronger when she was with him.

Cali perched on the cold examining table, her arm held out, bare and ready. She felt a shiver ripple through her frail body. The doctor, old and serious looking, wearing his white coat with a stethoscope around his neck took his time as he selected one of the half-dozen needles in a stainless steel container on the counter.

Then the doctor made his way over to Cali. Now began the grueling process of inserting the needle into Cali’s arm. Grueling because in those days, or at least where Cali’s family lived, a needle was used over and over again, until it was so dull it either broke during insertion or it simply had no piercing properties left.

More than once, such a dull and overused needle snapped inside Cali’s veins while the doctor twisted it about trying to find more blood. The result - a broken needle and the now broken glass vial sticking out of her arm. Her deep crimson blood splattering everywhere.

Yes, something one should only see in a horror movie. Cali realized too late that if she had not been so brave, so silent, so determined to take it like a good girl, she could have spared

Yes, something one should only see in a horror movie. Cali realized too late that if she had not been so brave, so silent, so determined to take it like a good girl, she could have spared herself many a traumatic moment. Screaming and fussing would have done her a lot of good, but that was not in her nature. And so she said not a word, not a sound as she watched the doctor clean up the bloody mess, find another needle and then try again. But Cali did gain something valuable from this experience. Eventually, she could look a needle in the eye and never flinch. Needles had nothing on her.

Although Cali was content to die, she was NOT destined to die. After many months, amazingly, she began to recover. By the beginning of the new school year, Cali was ready to reenter the real world once again. Over the summer, still on the living room couch, she successfully finished her school year and was allowed to move into grade seven.

Now that she would live, regaining her physical strength became very important to Cali. She was 5’6" tall and a mere 84 lbs. This gave her classmates something else to tease her about.

Cali determined to become strong — very strong — not just mentally, but physically as well.

So she climbed trees, tall trees, and she thought strong thoughts. So strong that in grade seven, her skinny, but now strong and sinewy arms could arm wrestle any boy in her classroom into submission. Well, not all. All except for one. Cali was not stupid. She simply refused to let the 300 lb. bully Ben come near her, and she didn’t give a rip when he taunted her about being afraid he would break her arm. Darn right she was!

By the time grade seven rolled to a close, only one other well-built, handsome grade eight student had vanquished her. But he had to work hard for that victory.

Cali was OK with that. That’s the way it should be, as far as she was concerned. She was a teenager now. She had proved herself to herself, and gained some respect from her classmates. The bullying had stopped.

Although she was no longer the object of bullying, she had other issues to overcome. Her alienation and journey to death’s door had changed her considerably. She had become, as the saying goes, too heavenly minded to be much earthly good. Thankfully some of her classmates were brave and kind enough to let her in on their observations. Cali struggled with that for a long time, but eventually with the help of her friend, Nancy, Cali began to figure things out.

You know what one of your problems is? You’re too nice. Too nice!! Not something Cali had expected to hear. It would take her years to really figure that one out. But she would learn that Nancy was right.

Grandpa's Percheron draft horse Lady, pulling the carriage Uncle Todd build for balmy weather excursions.

The Story behind the Handkerchief Doll

During the war, money was hard to come by, food was rationed and when it came to toys, people had to use their creativity. At the time, handkerchiefs were part of a woman’s wardrobe. Mothers learned to use these little pieces of cloth to make handkerchief dolls.

Also known as Church dolls, these simple dolls kept a child quiet and entertained during the service. Most importantly, if the doll dropped, it did not make a noise.

CHAPTER 3

REAL FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS FOREVER

Cali was fourteen when one evening at the supper table her parents made a startling announcement. They were going to move to the big town of Steinbach. Steinbach, a distance of sixty plus miles from Horndean, could just as well have been across the country as far as Cali was concerned. It always baffled Cali how her parents could make such significant decisions without