Stand Beautiful: A story of brokenness, beauty and embracing it all

By Chloe Howard and Margot Starbuck

Have you ever been bullied? Betrayed by a friend? Critical of who you see in the mirror every day? Born with a clubfoot and enduring intense physical and emotional pain because of it, international speaker, TEDx speaker, and anti-bullying author Chloe Howard will help you overcome the pain and struggles in your own life, coming alongside you as a friend on your journey to live happy and free.

You are enough. You are a daughter of God. And no matter how hard life gets, you don’t have to do it alone. In Stand Beautiful, Chloe shares her story of being bullied about a birth defect as a freshman and how it helped her not only overcome self-doubt, it also gave her the courage to rise up and speak out to help others.

Ultimately, Stand Beautiful will inspire young people ages 12 and up to:

• Be brave and find beauty within diversity
• Speak up against injustice and stand up for what is right
• Redefine beauty as more than what the eye can see
• Stop being self-destructive and choose self-empowerment

Fueled by a powerful encounter with Bono from the band U2, Stand Beautiful features:

• A “Lessons Learned” section that highlights valuable lessons every teen should know
• An “Interview with Chloe” section that gives readers details about her favorite iTunes playlist, books on her bookshelf, and much more
• The encouragement and hope teens need to accept their unique selves, just as they are

• Language: English
• Publisher: Zondervan
• Release date: May 29, 2018
• ISBN: 9780310765103

Chloe Howard

Chloe Howard is on a mission to empower people of all ages to embrace their uniqueness and boldly face their beautiful selves. Born with a foot deformity, Chloe had five major operations by the time she was 15. Through her hardships, Chloe learned that differences are unique, bullying needs to be stopped from the inside out, and worth is most valuable when it comes from within. Today, Chloe is the voice of Stand Beautiful, a movement promoting the acceptance of self and others. She has been featured on NPR, Teen Vogue, and was recently a TEDx Speaker. She has been the subject of two documentaries and toured internationally with CURE.org. Visit standbeautiful.me for more information about Chloe and her message.  

Book preview

ADVANCE PRAISE FOR STAND BEAUTIFUL

As a TEDx organizer, I’m focused on the result of our speakers’ efforts: The Talk. But in this book, I could instead focus on Chloe’s experience as she traveled toward the red circle. Her gift for expressing deep thoughts helped bring those weeks to life for me, and her struggles with insecurities and doubts put a lens on the challenges she faced before taking that first step onto the stage. Rarely do we meet people who are gifted communicators, both in creating well-crafted stories and possessing the poise necessary to present them in a high-stakes setting. Chloe’s insight into the turmoil within a teenager’s psyche is immensely readable.

MARK SYLVESTER, executive producer, TEDxSantaBarbara

"Chloe Howard is a true world changer. There is nothing more inspiring than someone who harnesses a painful experience for good. And there is no better example of that transformational spirit than Chloe. Being lucky enough to witness Chloe’s meeting with Bono and see the incredible good she’s done with that inspiration since inspires me to be braver in fighting for good, and I believe Stand Beautiful will do that for you as well."

MATTHEW POHLSON, cofounder, Omaze

"Chloe’s story [Stand Beautiful] is a contemporary, vulnerable account of personal experience, empathy, and evangelism that serves as an inspiring reminder that we are all unique, broken, and imperfect; yet God unconditionally sees us, accepts us, and loves us. It’s a beautiful testimony of trust, transformation, and triumph—in Jesus.

BRIAN M. VAN HALL, FACHE COO, CURE International

Wow. I’m impressed. And I don’t say this lightly. Chloe’s book is incredible. The strength this seventeen-year-old shares while in the midst of bullying is appropriate not only for teens but for adults who experience tough battles in life. We all get knocked down, but Chloe’s resolve, tenacity, and solidity through the worst times in her life are an encouragement to all of us! Again: WOW.

DR. SUSIE SHELLENBERGER, speaker and writer

Like Emily Doe, Chloe Howard transformed her victimhood into a superpower. These remarkable young women share the gift of inspiration. Being the victim of a crime can make you feel mute and powerless. But Chloe uses her strength, her spirituality, and her clear, powerful voice to call out to those who have suffered bullying. Chloe’s ode to finding self-worth is an important message for anyone who has felt the sting of self-doubt or the humiliation of harassment: Stand Beautiful.

JEFF ROSEN, Santa Clara County District Attorney

Oftentimes victims suffer in silence, but not Chloe. She’s fighting back with a verbal punch to get the justice she deserves. In standing up for herself, she’s standing for all young people who have been bullied and assaulted. Her voice is powerful, and she is courageous and fierce. She’s truly a role model for young women, and this book should be required reading in all high schools.

ALALEH KIANERCI, Santa Clara County Prosecutor of the Brock Turner Stanford sexual assault case

I’ve been working with teenagers for more than thirty-five years; and while there are many reasons I continue, one of my top reasons is how hopeful I continue to find them to be. Reading a story like Chloe’s could be discouraging if you focus on the problems it reveals. But, ultimately, it’s a story of overcoming, a story of redemption, a story of passion to change the world—and we all need more of that … I know I do.

DOUG FIELDS, founder of Download Youth Ministry and author of Purpose Driven Youth Ministry

"Chloe’s powerful reflection of her abuse at the hands of young bullies and the lessons she has learned on her journey make Stand Beautiful a gift of hope to anyone who has faced humiliation and wondered if any good could ever come from it. It’s a gripping story with a strong message for anyone who wants to rise above the spirit of darkness in our world today and bring hope that we can do better."

MARK MATLOCK, president of WisdomWorks and author of Faith for Exiles and Living a Life That Matters

"Think of a quilt, a homemade-with-love-kind of blanket with all the different squares. Got it? Now, on those squares, write the repeated words provision, protection, meaning, and belonging. These are the four basic desires of us, as humans, that are all woven together like a quilt in this quest for our humanity. The squares of us intertwine to create a beautiful picture through us, but only one square at a time. However, every once in a while, I hear a story, meet a human, that brings us beyond our own pictures and lets us look upon the whole tapestry that is humanity at one time. Chloe’s story will cover you with the common threads of humanity, give you a bigger picture of your own story, and challenge you to stand beautiful in your own square of this beautiful thing called life. This is not a book, but a vision."

ERIC SAMUEL TIMM, orator, artist, and author of Static Jedi: The Art of Hearing God Through the Noise

"Stand Beautiful is a powerful and meaningful book that needs to be read, understood, and appreciated. The author, although young, has much to say, and there is much to be learned from her writing. I teach a class in Disabilities, and this is the kind of text that can be used to help students, as well as others, navigate the importance and complexities that surround this subject."

JEFF BANKS, Ph.D., Professor of Teaching of Humanities and Teacher Education at Pepperdine University

Mark Twain once said, ‘The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you discover why.’ Chloe has written a beautiful account of the way in which her own experience of human suffering arising from a birth defect helped her discover God’s greater purpose for her life. Her sensitive, articulate account demonstrates that there is nothing predictable in this process. In fact, Chloe’s amazing story unveils her own discovery of why her life was created, how she is fearfully and wonderfully made, and what her life contribution will ultimately include. This book is sure to bring hope and comfort to countless millions who must pivot away from the crucibles of suffering at the hands of other humans to find God’s greater purposes for their life. Chloe’s narrative is sure to inspire a positive, hopeful engagement with all that life brings.

GAYLE D. BEEBE, PhD, president of Westmont College

In a world that tends to whisper you’re ‘never enough,’ there is a need for voices and stories that affirm that we really are. Chloe’s voice is one of those—she doesn’t hide her pain; rather, she finds purpose in sharing it. Anyone reading this book will begin to see that personal heartbreak and pain can often lead us toward our greatest strengths and triumphs. Her story is a brave movement of love, one that we can be a part of if we dare to stand beautiful in our own way.

BROOKLYN LINDSEY, author, speaker, and founder of the Justice Movement

"This is a must-read book for all victims of abuse/bullying and their abusers/bulliers. It is also a must-read for all individuals with physical differences and their health care providers. Chloe’s message is pertinent and timely. Her communication style is eloquent, engaging, and endearing. This book has changed me; I believe I will be a better doctor for having read her words and for considering this outcome measure not found in any published clinical research article that I have written or read. We, as health care providers, cannot make everything normal, but we can and should be better attuned to the difference between medical ‘success’ and patient life experiences."

VINCENT S. MOSCA, MD; Professor of Orthopedics at the University of Washington, and Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon, Chief of Foot and Ankle Service, and Director of the Pediatric Orthopedic Fellowship

Chloe’s personal journey inspires us to not give up, to know that we are not disabled but enabled, and that it’s not about how we show up but how God shows up in us. Her story emboldens us to embrace God’s work within us—that in the midst of pain, isolation, and hurt, we can stand entirely and fully beautiful!

MIKE ROMBERGER, President/CEO, Mount Hermon Christian Conference Center

ZONDERVAN

Stand Beautiful

Copyright © 2018 by Chloe Howard

Requests for information should be addressed to:

Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

ISBN 978–0–310–76513–4 (hardcover)

ISBN 978–0–310–76724–4 (audio)

Epub Edition May 2018 9780310765103

Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.Zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.®

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

Certain names and places have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals mentioned in this work.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Published in association with the literary agency of Mark Oestreicher.

Published in association with the literary agency of WordServe Literary Group. Ltd., www.wordserveliterary.com

Art direction: Ron Huizenga

Interior design: Denise Froehlich

Printed in the United States of America

18  19  20  21  22  / LSC /  10  9  8  7  6  5  4  3  2  1

To my parents:

Thank you for standing

beautiful even before I could.

To Tucker:

Thank you for making

every part of my crazy

life full of fun.

Contents

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1: Congratulations, You’re Having a Girl

CHAPTER 2: A Secret Superpower

CHAPTER 3: School of My Dreams

CHAPTER 4: Victim

CHAPTER 5: Invisible

CHAPTER 6: All the Bad Things

CHAPTER 7: VIP to VIP

CHAPTER 8: Heard

CHAPTER 9: Barefoot at the New Vic

CHAPTER 10: The Beginning of Now

CHAPTER 11: Standing Beautiful ALL Over the Place

CHAPTER 12: Looking Forward

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

AFTERWORD: LESSONS LEARNED

IF YOU’RE BEING BULLIED

THREE ACTION POINTS OF STANDING BEAUTIFUL

INTERVIEW WITH CHLOE HOWARD

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

PHOTOS

Introduction

HEY, CAN YOU COME HERE for a minute? I have to ask you something."

I recognized Cece—and her long, dark brown hair—from our sixth-period gym class. Her locker was near mine. She’d paused at my lunch table, where I was eating in the quad with a massive group. I was almost finished with the turkey sandwich my mom had packed in my lunch that morning.

Sure, I answered. I set my sandwich down on the plastic wrap, stood up, and brushed all the crumbs off my lap. My mom was going through this gluten-free stage, so we only had gluten-free bread for sandwiches. And it crumbled like sand. Not ideal when it came to making good impressions.

I’ve always been shy, so even though I’d made a couple friends during my first three months of high school, I was having a hard time meeting people. Having someone like Cece reach out to me was a surprise. I, of course, was honored. She was in the achievably-cool group, and I hoped this was the moment they’d invite me into their achievably-cool lives and accept me as one of their own. I so longed to be wanted.

And I got that feeling of being wanted when she beckoned again, nodding her head toward the long, dark blue, rectangular table next to mine. Come over here.

I began to make my way over to her table, where seven or eight other girls were sitting. I knew some of them from classes we shared, and they were all freshmen, like me. But I was nervous—I hadn’t really talked to any of them before. But I pushed that anxiety aside. This was my moment to shine. To prove I was worthy of them.

Then Cece abruptly ordered, Hey, Chloe, take off your shoe.

Sorry, what? I swear birds froze, midair. Everything stopped.

I felt a chill pass through my body as she looked at me expectantly. My arm hairs rose on end under my sweatshirt. My heart started beating faster and my palms were suddenly way too clammy. Scanning the table, I noticed the other girls glancing, as if barely interested, in my direction. They were all waiting for me to respond.

What? I asked meekly, sure I’d misunderstood. This was not what I had expected. Why in the world . . .?

Yeah, take off your shoe, Cece instructed again. She was starting to get annoyed. What had I done? I was so confused.

My pulse raced and my chest was hot fire. I suddenly wanted only to leave and go back to my own table, with my own friends. I felt so small.

I spoke carefully, hoping to navigate a quick and easy exit. This situation could definitely be avoided. But I had to play it cool. Otherwise, they’d think I was weird and might not want to be friends in the future. If I said the wrong thing, I’d never be in their group.

Nah, I’m good, I answered, looking at the ground. My toes are cold. I quickly glanced upward to see if they bought it. My teeth began to chatter. I was so nervous.

Just take off your shoe, Cece commanded. Then, turning to the group of girls at her table, she proudly announced, She doesn’t have any toenails.

Cece now had the interest of the other girls at the table.

My heart pounded, and my mind started to slow down. This couldn’t be happening. People don’t just say things like that. I felt tears threaten behind my eyes, and my temples seemed to press deep into my head. My hands shook, and my lip quivered in a way I hoped they wouldn’t notice. But I had to be strong. I had to brush it off and I had to look