Might As Well Can't Dance!

By Stephen Atkins

Pick a profession, and chances are good there are some interesting stories to tell. Imagine what an astronaut has seen, or a first responder faces everyday. I never expected to pilot a helicopter a thousand feet above the Southern California freeways, interview surviving iron workers who built the Golden Gate Bridge, or work along side my childhood idols. I certainly never expected to be surrounded by sixteen Bengal tigers. But the career that found me provided these and other unusual opportunities.

It was the year Richard Nixon was elected President, Otis Redding was Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay, and a Big Mac was forty nine cents. I recall striking out on my first full-time job in a new town only to discover several college friends were beginning their professional lives there too. Except for one other, they were all teachers with lots in common. That left me and the county Medical Examiner in the corner to swap stories about our “odd” jobs. So whats so unique about my tales? I believe the interesting characters encountered along the way, far outweigh any personal accomplishments. Like the surprise co-host on my mid-morning radio show; a chimpanzee. I could barely get a word in. So even if you’ve never even heard a radio, or seen the west coast of North America, I’ll try to keep it interesting.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stephen Atkins
• Release date: Apr 9, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370919185

Stephen Atkins

Stephen is a former Los Angeles advertising agency executive, and recently celebrated fifty years in broadcasting. He began writing as early as grade school, publishing a neighborhood newsletter on the family typewriter. He's grateful to have learned this skill at such an early age. Public speaking came easily and speech contests were won using the obligatory three by five inch note cards; his were blank. It seems the rush of improv stimulated the creative juices. Over the years, he has composed musical drama, ad campaigns and jingles, fifty episodes of The Celebration Series for radio syndication, and co-produced "The First Ten Years"; a radio special for CCM magazine. In more recent years, projects have included recording music groups and producing radio programs for others from his home studio. Stephen is the creator of Full Sail Radio on the web, and he looks forward to releasing the audio version of this book to include brief sound clips of some of these stories.

Book preview

During a lifetime of interviewing newsmakers and other celebrities, it became clear that many famous people deserved their status because of superior abilities and hard work. However, others were simply in the right place at the right time. The impressive accomplishments of a champion athlete are undeniable. At the same time, every big-name entertainer you can think of is keenly aware of others who are equally talented, equally dedicated, and for now, just outside the spotlight. So why do we celebrate some names more than others? There are plenty of everyday heroes who've paved the way for timesaving, lifesaving, freedom-saving causes, whose names we may not recognize. Their contributions are no less important or deserving of discovery. Maybe they just need better publicists. My curiosity has always drawn me to their stories.

The ever-changing landscape of technology reveals new ways to do old jobs, and in fact, creates celebrities that never before existed. Today’s business can’t succeed on methods of the past, and this includes the career I knew. Journalism that had for so long been delivered or broadcast, is now more often locally crafted, and then consumed on demand. The delivery system for today's news and entertainment has eclipsed the elaborate and costly technologies once ruled by major corporations and networks and has now become a vast array of DIY projects seen on YouTube. Want to produce a feature film? Never mind the hundred and fifty technicians it used to take, or the millions in funding for location filming and equipment. Just pull that cell phone out of your pocket and capture your epic; someone might actually pay to watch it. Don't like the news? Start a blog and create your own reports. Are you the next big name with a hit song or novel? You have the power. For younger readers, the following may be an amusing yet revealing look at EBI (entertainment before the internet).

Historically, radio waves have broadcast entertainment along with vital news, weather, and emergency information for local communities. In more recent times, everybody and their brother is hosting their own TV or radio show by simply signing up for a podcast connection. That little box with a speaker and knobs once called a radio has been replaced with so-called smart speakers that rely on a wired connection to the web. So, is that an advancement or a trend? And, what happens if that wired connection is compromised? What if cell towers no longer functioned and broke that modern chain of community? I guess when the power goes out, or disaster strikes, we'll see. In addition to the extra water, blankets and flashlight, I suggest a battery powered portable radio should also be in your emergency survival kit.

Pick a profession, and chances are good there are some interesting stories to tell. Imagine what an astronaut has seen, or a first responder faces every day. No, I don't presume to be in that league. But even here in an average occupation, I never expected to pilot a helicopter above the Southern California freeways, join the circus, or interview surviving iron workers who built the Golden Gate Bridge. I certainly never expected to be surrounded by tigers. But the career that found me provided these unusual opportunities.

It was the year Richard Nixon was elected President, and a Big Mac was forty-nine cents. I recall venturing out on my first full-time job in a new town, only to discover several college friends were beginning their professional lives there too. Except for one other, they were all teachers with lots in common. That left me and the county Medical Examiner in the corner to swap stories about our odd jobs. So, what's so unique about mine? I believe the interesting characters encountered along the way far outweigh any personal accomplishments. Some days the calendar listed a dog sled race, or a fund-raising donkey basketball game. Then there was the surprise co-host on my mid-morning radio show, a chimpanzee. I could barely get a word in.

So even if you’ve never even heard a radio, or visited America's west coast, I’ll try to keep it interesting.

I was once challenged with teaching a Mass Communications course at a small business college. The curriculum was carefully chosen to portray a real-world view of the radio and TV business and still adhere to academic guidelines. One of my radio students discovered a paperback written by a DJ who recounted some of his adventures. It got passed around and the class voted to include it in our study. The following is my version of that book. Many of the stories and some of the stations are the same. This is also a thank you letter to those who've made significant contributions to my life. And to my family; I hope this provides some insight into all those long hours invested and missed holiday activities. And while in the middle of those assignments, I was always thinking of you and anxious to get home. However, when a holiday landed on a weekday, we still had a show to do. Many a Thanksgiving meal was shared in the studio while playing the hits (a violation of studio protocol on any other day). Thank you, Marty. Your mom's pies were the best!

Chapter 1

Hearing is Believing

I was raised in the focus of the sounds life creates, and taught to be thankful for the simple ability to hear; a luxury some classmates didn't enjoy. The call of a blue jay. The mighty thunder of a waterfall. A lilting passage from a stringed quartet, or the joyful laughter of children. It is the symphony of life. And without his blindness my father would likely have been a photographer, a math teacher, or full-time musician. But instead of photo albums of family activities, he kept sound recordings of events. There were news events, family gatherings, his favorite radio shows and beloved baseball games. He was an expert typist so he could handle his own business correspondence. Both sides of the families were spread across the US map and he could easily have just written letters, but he preferred the personal touch of sound recordings sent through the mail. These reels of tape made the rounds in about a month. Each family took their allotted minutes and recorded their narration of recent activities or projects. Despite the delay, it was like sitting on the porch at the farm catching up on family news and maybe getting a new recipe to try. What a memorable way to keep in touch. Some of those reels remain in the family library to this day.

At any children’s recital or school play, the parents are conspicuous with their cameras. But the man in the back with the headphones, that was Dad, capturing every detail on tape. Both my parents were hard working depression era graduates, with some interesting accomplishments to their credit. After a family business of piano repair and tuning, both handled critical tasks in the defense and aerospace industries. Mom’s team created the first unmanned vehicle to land on the moon. Her name is there today on a plaque next to Surveyor One. Dad continually received awards for zero defects as his team built and tested Bradley tanks for the military. It didn’t register with me until recently just how closely his recording hobby was connected to everyday life. His archives include a massive tape library I may not live long enough to fully appreciate. One large section was reserved for the old radio shows he traded and curated (as a member of SPERDVAC – The Society To Preserve And Encourage Radio Drama Variety And Comedy). I was honored to have some of my work also included in his collection. Whether consciously or not, I too adopted a passion for documenting meaningful events. I suppose describing what life looked like to Dad transferred easily to mental pictures on radio.

The Ford Mustang was the cool new thing, and out of its radio blasted Herman's Hermits, The Animals and Sonny & Cher. Soon after high school graduation, a local politician was scheduled to speak at the college. I thought this would be a good chance to try my hand at journalism. So, I arranged to connect a tape recorder to the public address system and recorded the speech. Then afterward a friend with actual radio experience helped me detain the county supervisor for some Q and A on tape. Back in the home studio, the edited tape yielded a thirty-minute community interest piece and some newsworthy sound bites. This was my calling card for my first job. The subject of my interview, Kenneth Hahn, spent forty years as a county supervisor in Los Angeles, perhaps best known for his efforts to bring the Brooklyn Dodgers to town.

Chapter 2

There’s A First Time For Everything

It has been suggested big important things can come in small packages. My first big opportunity came at a massively powerful radio station; the strongest at the time in Los Angeles, California. However, this industry giant was shoehorned into a small storefront on Adams Street, adjacent to a laundromat in a sleepy suburb. This was far less impressive than I had imagined. The live announcer was often forced to compete with those huge commercial dryers next door, hammering away against the control room wall. There were many hurdles like this through the years that taught me to focus on the listener’s experience, despite challenges behind the scenes.

During the get acquainted tour, I drooled over the imposing equipment in the big studios. But foremost in my mind was my news gathering and other interests like recording live music. Then maybe someday produce award winning commercials, music specials, and documentaries. No matter what happened, I figured it’s good to have a dream. But you can’t often slide into a specialized position as a beginner, and I was told I’d have to be a board operator first; someone responsible for keeping the recorded programming flowing smoothly through the mixing console, or control board. It looked nothing like a board. I did learn this mindless repetition could occasionally create a bored operator.

The photo above features Sam Shepherd in the production studio at KHOF FM, 99.5 Glendale, Ca