Soldier and Spouse and Their Traveling House

By Matthew Alan House

Soldier and Spouse and Their Traveling House puts a witty spin on the dynamic of newlywed husband and wife trekking across two continents during their first three years of marriage. Who heads this household? The thrill-seeking soldier? Or the sensible spouse? Come along with this twenty-something military couple on their off-duty weekends as they dash in and out of trouble from the Emerald Isle to cruising down the Nile and many places in between—Western Europe, the Baltic, North Africa, the Balkans, Eastern Europe, and the Mediterranean.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gatekeeper Press
• Release date: Feb 14, 2018
• ISBN: 9781619848108

Book preview

Soldier and Spouse and Their Traveling House

Published by Gatekeeper Press

3971 Hoover Rd. Suite 77

Columbus, OH 43123-2839

www.GatekeeperPress.com

Copyright © 2017 by Matthew Alan House

Cover Design by Nelly Murariu of Pix Bee Design

All rights reserved. Neither this book, nor any parts within it may be sold or reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

ISBN: 9781619847651

eISBN: 9781619848108

Printed in the United States of America

Dedication

To my wife, Deanna, who has the remarkable ability to convey all of her unspoken words by giving me the look . . . .

Contents

About Matthew

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1: Lake Como, George Clooney, and Trains—Oh My!

Chapter 2: Who the Heck are We?

Chapter 3: Our Haunted Travel Past

Chapter 4: Joining the Military and Our Latvian Encounter

Chapter 5: Hungary for Thanksgiving

Chapter 6: New Year’s in Greece

Chapter 7: London (and a Little Bit of Prague) Calling

Chapter 8: Berlin Pride

Chapter 9: Scotland (the Brave)

Chapter 10: Krakow, Poland

Chapter 11: The City of Light

Chapter 12: Egyptian Disaster

Chapter 13: Venice

Chapter 14: Amsterdam and (In) Bruges

Chapter 15: Vilnius, Lithuania

Chapter 16: Ireland for St. Paddy’s Week

Chapter 17: Through Deanna’s Eyes

About Matthew

Matthew Alan House is an inquisitive and adventurous U.S. Army officer who moonlights as a haphazard globetrotter during his off-duty weekends. With Army postings in Germany and Japan, an Iraq combat tour, as well as assignments in the United States—Arizona, California, Florida, and Virginia—Matthew knows a thing or two about gallivanting around the world. He learns best by the trial-and-error method . . . . He is a top 10% officer who attended the Army-sponsored prestigious strategic leadership seminar at the University of Louisville, served as subject-matter expert trainer for deploying units at the Army’s premier National Training Center, and commanded the Army’s largest forward-deployed company in Japan with distinction. But his tactical abilities have yet to translate into savvy sightseer sensibilities—as he is destined to commit egregious hiccups in the cities he visits, thus constantly testing the patience and compassion of his loving spouse, Deanna.

Matthew holds a B.A. in International Studies from the University of West Florida and a M.A. in Political Science from the American Military University. Matthew will graduate from Florida State University in December 2017 with a M.A. in Asian Studies. He has previously written for two distinguished military publications—ARMY Magazine and the Vanguard Journal. He is fluent in Vietnamese and will be stationed in Vietnam, in addition to other countries in Southeast Asia, as part of his unique Army career as a Foreign Area Officer. Matthew is a native Floridian and he and Deanna have one daughter, Lily. Follow him on social media as you’re guaranteed insights—mostly into what not to do!

travelinghouses.com

facebook.com/travelinghouses

twitter: @travelinghouses

instagram: travelinghouses

"Soldier and Spouse and Their Traveling House tells of a young couple’s exploration of both the continent’s most iconic sights and its less-explored corners, particularly in the off season. Less glamorous aspects of European travel . . . add realism and reassure readers that hiccups along their own journeys are a natural occurrence. House’s constant drive to please his wife binds the narrative and lends it an unexpected tenderness."

—Karen Bradbury, Freelance Travel Columnist for European Stars and Stripes

An inspiring travel book! The account of Matthew and Deanna’s travels and travails is immensely readable and funny. But we also learn a lot about the world and its sometimes-strange customs (and foods!). Most importantly perhaps, we learn about the couple’s young marriage.

—Daniel Krebs, Ph.D., Lieutenant Colonel in the German Army Reserve & Associate Professor at

the University of Louisville

"Soldier and Spouse and Their Traveling House is a travelogue that recounts Matthew Alan House’s and his wife Deanna’s widespread travels and adventures (and comic misadventures) primarily on the European Continent. But Matthew’s book is also a well-paced, involving, and a hilariously relatable human story."

—Dr. Bruce Bickley, Professor of English Emeritus,

Florida State University

Matthew Alan House takes you on a fun, exhilarating journey through the fresh and exciting family adventure that is part of early Army life. His humorous, yet humble, personal openness throughout naturally leaves the reader with a warm heart . . . .

—Rob Duggleby, Colonel, U.S. Army (Retired) & Professor at Florida State University

Acknowledgements

I am an author newbie—a first-time writer who obviously has much to learn. Therefore, I not only find it necessary to express my gratitude to the people who directly helped me with this book but also to the imaginative helpers who provided inspiration through quotes and movies, giving me the motivation to write it down.

To my editors, Jonathan Williams, Martha Bootle, and Wendy Thornton: Your expert guidance and mentorship drastically improved my manuscript from mediocre to a damn good, structurally sound polished work.

To my English professor, Dr. Bruce Bickley: Thank you for being a great sounding board and advisor during the final stages of my manuscript preparation.

On to my imaginative helpers: George Clooney, James Bond, and the U.S. Army.

To Mr. George Clooney: George—if I can call you George—you, sir, are a true icon on the global scale. When I saw your face plastered all over the small Italian lakeside city of Como, I knew I wanted to follow in your footsteps (figuratively and literally). I tried desperately to spot you while we were in Como, but alas, I think you were on set somewhere far away (no doubt, a place equally exotic to Lake Como). Anyway, thank you for the iconic zeal you put into every project you take, for it inspires me to be the best person I can.

To Mr. Bond, James Bond: I know you are a fictional, suave spy and action hero but I still haven’t mastered your technique of using your quintessential British charm to woo the ladies. I’ve tried many of your moves on my wife and all have proven futile. I do find solace (hold the quantum) in this shared trait between us—that, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves in some of the most peculiar circumstances. Mr. Bond, keep traveling the world, killing dangerous assassins, and dismantling shadow governments. I will continue to reap the benefits of the places you made safe, sipping on martinis as I embark on my own adventures. Cheers to us always saving the day and working our way out of the doghouse of nefarious activity (for you) and the self-induced stresses of married life (for me).

To the most lean and mean land force on the face of this planet, the U.S. Army: Thank you, sincerely, for sending me on some pretty damn cool assignments, which have allowed me to see the world—through my off-duty time (of course).

Last (but not least), I must thank my better half, my soulmate, and best friend, my wife Deanna, for tolerating me on our adventures. What a wild ride we’ve been on (the wild was mostly self-inflicted by me). Nonetheless, you’ve held firm, despite the countless gauntlets I laid before you. You have an uncanny knack for telling me exactly how you feel without saying a word. I’d like to tell you that our future escapades will be easier, but I won’t lie to you. I’m almost certain to screw them up, make it weird, or push your buttons during our around-the-world travels. As long as we both agree this will happen, we’ll be fine, right? Love you!

Introduction

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

—T. S. Eliot

As you’ll find out when you read this book, I joined the army for a variety of reasons; some practical, some fanciful. First, I was getting married and I needed a good solid career with which to support my family. I desired a career where I could serve my country and make a difference in the world. But, I also hoped for a career where I could see the world and experience sights I never thought I would see. The ability to travel internationally has made my military career that much more rewarding, and that much more of a great decision for me.

During the first part of my military service I was stationed outside of Nuremberg, Germany. Being based in Germany put Deanna and me geographically central to most of the major tourist sites in Europe. Our ideal location in Europe, combined with our status as a newlywed, childless couple with weekends to ourselves, soon helped us realize that a great opportunity lay before us to glimpse a part of the world many United States residents don’t get to see! Not long after arriving in Germany, we became weekend adventure-warriors, with a goal of seeing as much of Europe as we could. With our free weekends and a little disposable income—since both of us were working—we found the time and the means to travel all over Europe during the next few years.

While Deanna and I had fun every time we set out, we had our ups and downs, too: bad weather, bad food, long train rides, fatigue . . . . Getting ill is bad enough when you’re at home, but getting ill on the road in a faraway land (like Egypt, for instance) can be an awful experience. Despite a few setbacks here and there, however, almost every adventure became a fond memory worth being relived, both during the time we spent recovering from our journeys, and when we sat down to write this book.

When you see the world, you leave a little of your dust and your essence behind in the cities you explore—and hopefully, you also take a bit of those places back home with you. Through the process, both you and the cities you visit are changed just a little.

Without further ado, we invite you to dive in and enjoy our story of adventures. It’s our hope you revel in each chapter and each excursion, and that this book and our trips teach you about travel, about the places we went, and about us. If this book inspires you to take your own trips, whether to Europe or elsewhere, then it will have done its job. Above all else, if you are engaged to be married, newlyweds, or a seasoned couple, remember what I seem to have a hard time with: A happy wife equals a happy life. If you can memorize this seven-word phrase and strive to fulfill its meaning, then I am certain your travels will be less stressful and more enjoyable for all parties, unlike episodes in our travel stories below. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Lake Como, George Clooney,

and Trains—Oh My!

Two months after moving to Germany during my tour of duty with the U.S. Army, I decided to take a trip. My wife Deanna and I had rented a house, and I was finally settling in at work, so I felt comfortable enough to plan our first long weekend excursion. Deanna’s birthday was coming up, so I decided to surprise her with a trip to Lake Como, Italy. I had researched Lake Como and watched some travel shows on what a romantic a location it was, surrounded by mountains and hills and picturesque Italian villas and towns. In fact, the famous Hungarian composer Franz Liszt said, When you write the story of two happy lovers, let the story be set on the banks of Lake Como. Naturally, Lake Como seemed an ideal first destination and surprise birthday trip for my bride.

Luckily, a travel agency was located on the military base near where we were living, as I wasn’t about to plan out our first trip entirely on my own. When I went to see them, they pushed hard to sell me on a preplanned package, but I held firm because I liked the idea of planning my own trip. I was eager to avoid package tours, telling myself that often the best part of a trip is not the destination, but the experiences along the way. The agency let me have my way and was more than happy to help me make my own plans. But I wanted one more thing I thought would be appealing. I told the agents I’d like to take the train, rather than drive or fly. The travel agents, who were native Germans and knew the ins and outs of sightseeing around Europe, gently tried to discourage me from booking the train. They told me that of the three options, the train would take a significantly longer time, with both flying and driving requiring only five hours or so to reach Lake Como.

I didn’t budge, fantasizing about how scenic it would be going through the countryside of southern Germany, the mountains of Switzerland, and the Lombardy region of Italy, which is famous for its vineyards. I dreamed of experiencing that postcard European countryside scenery from Germany to Italy, and surely the best way to enjoy the trip was by train. I also thought Deanna would appreciate the view, and I envisioned us looking out our big window, snuggling next to one another as the reality of our actually living and seeing Europe sank in. Suffice it to say, I ignored the advice the travel agents gave me, and booked our trip.

In the days and weeks leading up to our weekend excursion, I talked up the trip to Deanna, telling her to get ready to be wined and dined and dazzled on a romantic getaway. I left out where we were going, how we were going to get there, and what we were going to see or do. I just told her to relax and trust me. What could go wrong?

The day of our trip finally came. We boarded the train and as we left the station I finally spilled the beans, telling her, in drumroll fashion, that for her birthday she was going by romantic train ride to stunning Lake Como, Italy! Her first question was how long would the ride take. I muttered under my breath that it would be a little over 12