Ninjas and Vamps

By Michael Bernoudy

Antonio Anderson is your ordinary inner-city youth, faced with the typical troubles of growing up Black.  Gangs.  Girls.  Ghosts.  Vampires.  Wtf!!!

After moving to a small town to tend to his dying grandmother, Tony and his friends discover that there are more things for young blacks to fear than cops.  This witty story will prove entertaining for readers of all ages.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Blu Phi'er Publishing, LLC
• Release date: Jan 26, 2018
• ISBN: 9780985837839

Book preview

PLEASE PURCHASE THE FOLLOWING TITLES FROM BLUPHI’ER PUBLISHING:

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Humanity’s Edge By Tamara Wilhite

True to Self By Tilisha Alexander

The Chronos Project: A Race Against Time By Marc Rios

Precedent of Justice By Patrick R. Raley

The Reckoning By Eric Enck

Nina By Liz Dejesus

A Mambo Duet By Eugene Rodriguez

Ghost of a Chance By  Eric Enck

The Renegade By Jane Timm Baxter

Of Blood and The Moon By Jimmy D. Gillentine

Indefinitely By Adam Chesin

Sirat:  Through the Fires of Hell By Tamara Wilhite

Snuff By Adam Huber and Eric Enck

One Team One Dream By Chris Manning

Lady Gabriella By Donnette Smith

Snow Hill By Joseph McGee

A Fantastic Opportunity By Krystal Waters

Feminine Wiles By John Grover

Vindictive Comics Volume I By Garland Watson

The Horrible Monster By Jasmine Bernoudy

ORDER BOOKS AT

WWW.BLUPHIER.COM

OTHER BOOKS BY

MICHAEL L. BERNOUDY, JR.

Stained Glass Windows:  Memoirs of Cheater

Tales of Love and Woe

(Written as Lawrence Strickland)

The Journeys of Father KaReem

(Written as Lawrence Strickland)- Coming Soon

BOOKS OF THE KALEIDOSCOPE

Negro in Nam:  My Father’s Tale

Twenty Virgins in Heaven

A Taste of Love

Jasmine and Jada-Coming Soon

Black Dawn-Coming

Beauty in the Eyes of a Killer­-Coming

A Wailing Moon-Coming

The Kaleidoscope-Coming

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my cousin Antonio Anderson, my childhood friends Pablo Williams and Shawn Thomas, and the Sigma who pledged me Leamon Winsor.  Although gone, you’re never forgotten.

FORWARD

When I first undertook this project there were a number of challenges I faced.  To make for a better experience for the reader, I want to address some of the issues herein.  Hopefully you can then enjoy the read without overthinking the book.

First, there are no ninjas in the book!  The first illustrator I hired couldn’t wrap her head around the concept that the book was not about ninjas (Japanese assassins that cover their faces at night). 

In our society there is a taboo word known as the N word.  It’s a word that was once derogatory towards blacks but we eventually embraced it.  The word still offends some people.  Another writer (far superior to myself) jokingly replaced that word with the word ninja.  Many blacks have rolled with using ninja ever since.  If I used the actual N word, people of all races and ages could not enjoy the book!

Second, although the characters in this book are based on real people, the book is a work of fiction!  Please do not make literal comparisons to the people and places mentioned in the book and worry as to whether the events depicted in the book actually happened.  Also, for those of you who know me or the actual persons depicted herein, don’t try to figure out who the character is based on.  Enjoy the book!

Finally, the book is written using Ebonics with references to urban culture.  However, it is written in such a way for children and a mainstream audience could understand.  Therefore, when I switch from my narrator voice to my homeboy voice, don’t get too frustrated.  Enjoy the book!

Chapter 1

Life be Bout that BS

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Life be bout that BS sometimes. Oldest teacher on God’s earth was talking some dumb ish. Why was she trying to add letters and numbers? Why was she dragging on and on what this mess no one wanted to hear? This was the longest school year that ever existed. And it refused to end. Tony thought about all the stuff that had happened this year. His head swam with thoughts and images of his 8th grade year.

It all started last summer. Tony’s dad broke up with Yvonne this big bootie light-skinned chick he had been with for years. T’s mom had bounced when he was too young to even remember her. That’s some of the BS life brings.

His dad had rotated women forever. Tony grew up thinking that he lived in the Playboy mansion. None of the chicks lasted long. As soon as the next pretty face came, dad’s attention shifted. Or when the chicks got too clingy, or said the wrong thing, asta la vista baby.

There were a few chicks Tony thought would make the cut. There was this rich chick Cindy. She wasn’t the prettiest chick, his dad had dated, but she spent CHEESE. Six Flags. Disney. Xbox. Cindy had a dude spoiled. But she wasn’t fly enough for T’s father. She caught him with some young freak and flipped out. Cindy slashed his dad’s tires. Spray painted the house. All kinds of foulness. She even asked for all her gifts back before it all ended. Luckily T’s dad was not that stupid, than goodness.

His dad dated this Mexican thang. She was HOTTT! She cooked three meals a day. Tony could hear his dad’s headboard banging against the wall all day and night. He really thought that that would be his new stepmother. But she had a temper from hell. Every time she was mad she would break things and start flipping out in Spanish. After that there would be more bed squeaking. Eventually Tony’s dad got tired of the drama and he let her go. For the next month the house was bombarded with phone calls giving loud tirades in Spanish. Tony woke up several nights hearing someone outside yelling and cursing in gibberish.

For a long time, every time one of the Mexican gang bangers would drive by, stop him in the streets or at school, he thought it was someone from her hood or family.  Tony avoided Mexicans for nearly a year.

There was even a teacher that his dad kicked it with for a while. Tony thought that this would lead to him getting all A’s and an easy ride in school that year. Instead, Tony did more homework and studying than he had in his whole life. Life be bout that BS. However, she messed around and wanted to give Tony’s dad advice about his business. She might as well have stood in front of the TV during the football game. Tony’s dad was definitely not going to let a school teacher give him career advice. 

That breakup led to many future detentions and even a suspension.  Every teacher in the school had an eye out for Tony.  When he complained to his dad about it, he was told struggle makes you a man.  If that wasn’t some BS!

Then Tony’s dad met Yvonne. Looks, Nailed it. She worked as a nurse so she made good money and worked long hours. There wasn’t an opportunity for Tony’s dad to get tired of her. She went to work before his dad could get too annoyed by her presence.

She didn’t cook but Tony heard head boards banging often. Lots of times Yvonne was tired and she never had the energy to fuss. She didn’t have any kids so she treated T like he was her own child. She was the perfect woman for Tony’s dad.

Unlike the merry-go-round chicks Yvonne lasted for four years. Tony thought that his dad was actually in love with her, or as close as he could come to that emotion.  Yvonne eventually moved in with the duo.  However, this perfect match was not meant to be.

Yvonne got a job across country.  The job paid nearly twice the money she currently made and it was at a fancy private hospital.  Yvonne didn’t want to do a long distance relationship, so she suggested that Tony and his father move with her.

To T this seemed like a sensible suggestion.  However, to his father, this was a declaration of war.  It clearly meant that Yvonne couldn’t be trusted away from him or that she felt he couldn’t be trusted.  Then she offered to take care of him and Tony until he could get himself situated. This was a personal insult to Tony’s dad.  From there everything went on a downward spiral.  Things eventually ended in breakup.  Tony was very depressed over the loss of Yvonne.  So was his father, even though he would never admit it.  Life really be about that BS.